When our son was born my husband was finishing graduate school while working full time and I was also in school.  With one income it became clear to us that we needed to protect our family in case of the unthinkable.  

We immediately bought additional life insurance.  Our wonderful representative came to our home and worked with us on buying the policies.  We increased the policies we already had on ourselves and we bought a small insurance policy on our brand new little boy.  And it was weird to be almost "planning" for his death so early in his life.  But everyone said, "The last thing you want to think about in a bad situation is how to pay for his funeral and your own time off because you would be too devastated to go to work."  And then DH and I got right to work on our wills.  Well, sort of.

I was surprised to learn today that a yahoo group has been started in support of Brooke Ryan.  As a result, there are 14 nurse-ins being planned across the country on September 8:  http://health. groups.yahoo. com/group/ bwb_lactivist/.  I'm glad that in 2007 women take up for themselves and oneanother.  My original post about the incident that Brooke encountered at a local Applebee's can be read after the flip.

Our peanut allergic son is attending a new preschool this year.  For us this can be quite anxiety provoking, since it means new teachers, directors, and parents who may or may not be aware of the dangers of peanut allergy.  We decided to hire a nurse from the local health department to train the staff on peanut allergies.  We worked with the director on logistics for keeping our child safe.  In our area peanut-free schools are rarer than in many other parts of the country, so we talked about the pros and cons of such a decision for the school.  

This week we attended the orientation where the director announced that our son's classroom would be peanut-free.  You should have seen the eye rolls, the side glances between parents, and the whispers.  The purpose of this entry is to help you understand peanut allergy if such an announcement is made at your child's school.

Peanut allergy seems to be a popular topic around here.  Personally, I'm glad that it's getting the necessary attention so that others will be aware of the growing problem.  My family has been learning to deal with our dear son's allergy to nuts for almost a year.  We are constantly on the lookout whenever we are in public or in another person's home.  We always have our Epi-pen.  Since he's still a toddler and not fully able to express if he is having a reaction, we watch his behavior for any signs that something may be wrong when he eats a relatively risky food (for example, some desserts may not be labeled for nuts but you just never know).  He's also too young to recognize and know to avoid nuts, so he needs us to watch out for him.  Our own home is the only place where we can feel completely safe and relaxed, since we know what lurks in our cupboards.  At least, we thought our home was safe.  As summer approaches and the weather is becoming warmer, we've been playing outdoors.  And we've been finding peanut shells all over our property.

I know we've discussed bullies here in the past.  Over the past couple of months our family has been dealing with a preschool bully.  Up until today we've been treating it like any other developmental issue.  We tell our 2 year old how to put his hand up and say, "Stop.  That's not nice.  I don't want to play with you."  We've been completely focused on teaching him how to manage the situation.  I've been telling myself that our son is just more sensitive than the other children.  He needs better coping skills.  But today I had just about had it and went in to talk with the teacher (who is a lovely woman, BTW).

Like most mornings in the past several months, our boy had a violent reaction to going to preschool this morning.  He wakes up each morning informing me that "today is not a school day."  He does pretty well but eats breakfast very slowly.  When I mention putting on his clothes, he loses it.  Once dressed, he gives in and does well until we pull up to the school.  Then he cries and tells me how he doesn't want to go to school.  After I got him calmed down, he told me he's afraid of the bully, as he's done a few times.

I really wish I had some explanation for this.  When I read that the Rev. R. Albert Mohler Jr. wrote an article to explore the idea of prenatal genetic altering of fetuses to prevent homosexuality, I was mystified.  I didn't know whether to scream or laugh!  Talk about shock and awe!  While I wasn't paying attention something has gotten terribly confused on the right.  I wish I could comment more but I'm just too confused.  Plus I feel like it can spark enough discussion all by itself.  

When I was growing up birthday parties were simple.  (Well, honestly, I never had a birthday party.  I was born on Christmas Eve.  But that's another story.)  I went to other people's birthday parties.  I remember only cake and games.  No fancy decorations, no gift bags, no one spent what they spend these days.

For my son's first birthday I did what I thought was normal.  Cake, food, fun, relaxed.  Boy, did I feel inferior over the next year when we went to other parties!  So then I tried to do the same.  I rented out a facility, I had gift bags, we had structured games.  It was stressful and expensive.

Today in a local newspaper I saw an article about this group formed to help parents bring birthday parties back to the basics.  I know that some parents really enjoy the process of throwing a really extravagant party.  Not me.  I, for one, will welcome this change if more people jump on board.  

In a recent telephone conversation with my mother we were discussing an upcoming family wedding.  Because the ceremony will be religiously non-traditional (read: non-Christian), this opened the door once again for her to question the religious preferences of our family of three.

Whenever the topic comes up, as it often does, I always try to remember that her religion is extremely important to her.  It fulfills all sorts of needs for her.  Further, the scripture requires that she spread the message.  After many years of trying to convert my husband and me, she is now concerned for her grandchild.  "What religion will he be raised in?" she asked, "Will you allow him to go to Vacation Bible School? Won't you teach him `Jesus Loves Me?'"  Here we go again.

We just got back from our first trip since finding out our 2 year old has peanut allergy.  In case you don't remember or didn't catch the first post, we first bought tickets on Continental who refused to accommodate the allergy (even though it is covered by ADA).  We obviously demanded a refund and then bought tickets on Delta.  We were more than delighted with Delta's handling of this issue.

For the first time since our young son was diagnosed earlier this year with peanut allergy, we are flying with him soon to visit family in Texas.  Taking all the necessary precautions, we called the allergist to get a letter describing the need to take the Epi-pen on the plane.  Then we discussed peanut precautions with the relatives that we'll be staying with.  For those who don't know, becoming completely peanut-free means eliminating a lot more than just peanut butter.  Lastly, we contacted Continental Airlines to notify them of our son's life threatening allergy and to get information on their official policy.  We were flabbergasted by their response and we're not sure what we'll do next.

Once I was in college and on my own (they didn't offer to pay and I'm better off for it), I gave up the fantasies I had of the normal parent/child relationship through hours of therapy, stacks of the pop psychology books, and countless nights drinking coffee with friends.  I learned to just accept their defects and move on with my life.  That is, before I gave birth.

I live in a state where all my life I've heard, "It's a wonderful place to raise a family."  I guess I never really questioned it.  I mean, it's Middle America.  Not too far south, not too far north.  A border state in the Civil War.  I grew up in a town with low crime, made up of mostly working families.  Why wouldn't it be a great place to raise a family?  Nothing ever happens there.  Nothing.  And that is just how the locals like it. Growing up there, I always felt like the square peg squeezing myself through that round hole.  I'm the only person in my family who left.  I'm the only one to get married older than 20.  I'm the only one with a college education.  Thank the Gods I don't live there anymore!

Now that I'm out of that environment in a larger city within the same state, I mostly don't worry about what goes on there.  From time to time I do have telephone conversations with non-thinking, conflict-avoidant, God-fearing relatives and I have to stop to shake my fists in frustration.  But mostly I try to just be tolerant of their beliefs and remember that those unchangeable beliefs work for them.  After all, my husband and I can ignore it.  We know the truth even if they are incapable of seeing it.  But what about our son?