Sports a Privilege or Privileged Parents?

Posted on January 6, 2011 by Elisa_scoop

Here is an interesting lawsuit that at least to this non-sports parent appears frivolous.

The parents of a former high school basketball player in Indiana just filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the team’s haircut policy is unconstitutional. Their 14-year-old was kicked off the team after he refused to cut his hair. From FOX Sports:

School district officials have said that the boy has to play by the rules because there is no constitutional guarantee to play ball or be involved in any other extracurricular activity.

According to the lawsuit, coach Stacy Meyer wanted both the high school and junior high teams to have a “clean-cut“ image which is why they have to keep their hair above their ears, eyebrows, and collar.

The school added that hairstyles that “create problems of health and sanitation, obstruct vision, or call undue attention to the athlete“ are all reasons for dismissal from the team.

The parents are basing their lawsuit on a 2003 federal court ruling in Missouri, in which a judge called a coach’s decision to dismiss a player with cornrows as “an asinine, stupid rule.” But the judge also said that sports and extracurricular activities were voluntary therefore rules for participation did not violate a player’s rights.

It isn’t clear to me what the Indiana player’s hair looks like. Upon reading the story, I imagined a shaggy mane with bangs in the face, which I thought appropriate for a school to ask to cut, if anything, for safety reasons.

But in the second example of a player being dismissed for cornrows — that made me uncomfortable. Cornrows are disproportionately worn by people of color, which seems to me the rule would disproportionately affect them based on their hair texture. Also, cornrows are easy to maintain and keep out of the face. It does appear to be an “asinine,” or dare I say racist rule.

Then again, sports are voluntary, which leads me to my first reaction. What do you all say? Do you have an opinion about haircut policies or other rules for sports and extracurricular activities?

Monday Morning Open Thread

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Rachel_scoop

Good morning, MTs. How are you today? Me, I’m a little grumpy and more than a little bit done with “The Footy” – a.k.a. Australian Rules Football team. It’s the championships next Saturday, and ye gods, DH’s team, Collingwood are in the Grand Final. It’s been 20 years since they last won, and they haven’t been in a championship since 2003, so the testosterone has overridden DH’s normal impulses and hard-wired all major circuitry straight into his lizard brain. This week can’t pass fast enough so I can, please Jebus, have my normal husband back. I envy all of you who are ignorant of AFL.

In that spirit, I bring you news of anything but sport. Firstly, gossip, gossip, gossip. Jamie Oliver and his wife, Jools, welcomed their fourth child – and first boy – into the family last week. The baby boy got –saddled– named with a –wacky– unique name – Buddy Maurice. I admit my love for Jamie Oliver with no hesitation; he and his wife and family are just adorable. I own a couple of his cookbooks and I really use his recipes, too. So congrats, Jamie and Jools!

From the department of Just Desserts, the sometimes-funny, always unintentionally revealing advice column in the NYT, Social Q’s. This week, a person confesses to snooping in the SIL’s e-mail account … and got more than they bargained for in the form of insults. I’ll go with the advice columnist in this – if you can’t do the crime, don’t snoop in other people’s e-mails. You almost always get more than you bargained for. And for everyone else, make sure you log out if you’re using somebody else’s computer. There are snoops out there!

What’s going on in your world, today?

My “Mamma Bear” moment

Posted on September 4, 2010 by Sue in Queens_scoop

Yesterday we went to get the shirts we need for the uniform for DS’s new school. I volunteered to help sell the shirts – figuring it’s a good way to get known in the school and to hear what’s going on.

Of course, everyone wanted the ear of the co-Principal, and he patiently listened to everyone!

One guy triggered such an emotional reaction in me!

The topic……..baseball.

Ugh

In full disclosure, I am not a huge sports fan. I watch some sports, and follow the Mets because ya sorta have to, but all the way through school I resented the hyper-attention that the jocks got.

And, I am the mom of a boy who is not an athlete. Poor guy, he inherited more from my side of the family than our good looks (LOL). He’s got my father’s klutzy frame and my poor coordination.

In our neighborhood the Fall Soccer and Spring Little League are a big deal. DS11 was happy this year to be a fan and on-looker, but that doesn’t help him feel more competent or get him active and fit.

Yesterday, a father was talking to the Principal about “are we going to have a baseball team?’ and “which league?” etc etc etc

UGH

Can’t we have just one part of life where the most coordinated jocks aren’t worshipped??

So, I approached the Principal and said “can I just make a case for not-just-baseball?” and he said “oh we’ll have soccer too”- sorta missing my point. So I made a case for active activities that are not team sports- eventually I think he got what I was talking about. DS says I came on a little strong. Actually he said “I understnd you, Mom. When you feel strongly, you get a little intense. There’s a tone that ohter people might not get”

eergh – did not want to start off at this school as “that mom”, but even more do not want my smart, sweet, active but uncoordinated boy to start of a 7-year school experience as the kid who made the baseball team lose.

Midday Coffee Break

Posted on January 14, 2010 by Elisa_scoop

What’s up?

When you are asked whether you want to pay with debit or credit, always opt for debit. According to a story in the New York Times, your bank will charge the store — and ultimately you, if the store is forced to raise prices — 75 cents for every $100 spent when you sign for a purchase rather than punch in the 4-digit code of your debit card.

Daddy Dialectic’s Jeremy Adam Smith wrote a great piece for Mothering magazine on how fathers can inject a little sanity into kid sports.

The Washington Post ran an editorial about Randi Weingarten, the new president of the American Federation of Teachers union.

One-third of American adults are considered obese, but that rate has been slowing, according the Wall Street Journal.

Newsweek has an article on the uptick in men-on-men sexual harassment claims.

What else is in the news? What’s up with you?

My son the spectator

Posted on November 4, 2009 by Sue in Queens_scoop

This fall, like many other US families, we have been wrapped up in soccer season. We follow the ups and downs of a local youth team, cheer their awesome goalie, and shout encouragement to the very fast offensive player who never loses control of the ball. On Monday night, we were sad when they lost their playoff game 3-1. It’s a familiar fall activity in our part of the US.

But, unlike all the rest of the spectators, I don’t actually have a child who is playing on the team. My DS10 is their #1 fan. That offensive player is his BFF, the goalie another classmate.

My DS is not very athletic and he’s also someone unlikely to put himself out there on things he won’t be good at. Honestly, even though he played Little League this summer, he was happiest when he was on the bench shouting to his team mates. He loved the comraderie of the team more than the playing. Some kids don’t care if they’re not good at baseball, or soccer, or whatever – at this age they play anyway, just for fun. DS is not so sure about that – he’s knows he’s not good at it, and chooses (at least for now) to watch and cheer rather than compete.

I have a concern about how that places him as a “guy” since so much of how boys/men identify themselves is in the sports they play. But, I don’t talk about that with him – he’s happy the way he is, and at least for this year is pleased to be the BFF of the best athlete in his grade.

But, one thing did bug me - the other moms kept asking him if he plays soccer, or why not, or maybe he just does basketball, or is he signing up for little league next year. So, in effect, my DS had to spend 15+ minutes justifying why he’s NOT A JOCK to nosy, buttinski mothers.

As I’m writing this, I’m not exactly sure what my point is, or what my question is to all of you. My DH does not seem concerned, and has encourage DS in many other ways. I just know that guys are hard on each other, especially in middle school and high school – is it a problem to be a guy who is not a sporty guy?

Also, in general he’s not a physical guy, and I feel like he should do more activity overall. What are some things he could do that are not team sports, and that don’t involve balls hurtling toward your body (being hit three times by a pitch was one of the biggest turn offs for little league)?

Weekly Parenting News Roundup

Posted on September 19, 2009 by Elisa_scoop

Cross-posted at Daily Kos.

Hello fellow moms, dads and caregivers! I am back with your weekly parenting news update.

Here are some interesting stories we discussed here at this week:

In case you missed it, our Erika just went in for her 19-week ultrasound and is having…drumroll please…a girl! iFelicidades mujer!

The Maryland Court of Appeals has ordered a new trial for a mother whose 14-year-old daughter frequently skipped school. According to the Washington Post, the daughter was absent 74 of 180 days in the 2005-06 school year. A lower court has already decided that parents can’t be held liable for their children’s truancy if they go to school but don’t attend class. This case would determine whether parents can be held liable if their children fail to attend school at all. What do you think?

DesmoinesDem wrote about various student loan reform plans floating in Congress.

My husband and I could not stop beaming at this video clip of this dad and his little girl at a baseball game. It is funny and a must-see.

I got to see an advanced screening of Michael Moore’s latest film, Capitalism: A Love Story. Here is a review and a pic — yes, I met him!

And please indulge me as I bust out my Dirty Dancing DVD and box of tissues. I know I was not the only Patrick Swayze fan to mourn his passing this week. Feel free to check out my little tribute to him — and vote for your favorite Swazye movie.

What else is in the news? What’s up with you?

CA Budget Cuts: Survival of the Richest

Posted on June 3, 2009 by Elisa_scoop

Because we have a dysfunctional state legislature and warped attitude towards taxes, California continues to face some scary budget cuts in healthcare and education.

Most recently, a concerned dad and basketball coach wrote a diary in Open Salon proposing the state cut athletics before academic programs in public schools. It is sad we even have to have this conversation. As the writer noted, this feels like the show Survivor and we are all its participants.

As the state’s economic crisis has developed, thanks in large part to our legislators and governor, school districts have undertaken a process of belt-tightening that is matched only by the gradual emaciation of the participants on CBS’s Survivor.

The Mt. Diablo Unified School District, where I coach, and where I once attended middle and high school, announced that it must cut $28 million from its upcoming three-year budget. This action will need to be taken on the heels of the defeat of local Measure D, which sought to increase property taxes by $99 per year to raise $7 million of funding for five years, and which would have replaced funds the school board was forced to cut earlier this year. All the while, state funding for the district has been reduced.

Four hundred teachers have already received pink slips, and school board members have projected the loss of reduced class sizes, elimination of programs for fifth grade music and science and art programs, not to mention the postponement of maintenance projects that have already been deferred. The return to larger class sizes is, indeed, a sad thing. Forty percent of the district’s students are English language learners, who won’t be able to receive the support and attention they need in larger classes and from over-burdened teachers.

The status of high school athletics is uncertain for the beleaguered district, but the school board plans to consider funding after-school athletics through private donations.

My question is rather than cut sports, including presumably the almost non-existent phys ed, why can’t the district raise private funds for academics, too? Also, I was peeved that folks in the district didn’t think their schools were worth an additional $99 in property taxes. What is that — 30 cents a day? Our priorities are pretty warped.

How are your school districts dealing with these devastating cuts?

Nurturing an interest in sports without tribalism

Posted on May 28, 2009 by desmoinesdem_scoop

Ed. note: Great topic for discussion. My DH can get foul-mouthed and moody when his teams aren’t tearing it up, but he mostly keeps it in check around DD! Me, I couldn’t care less. How about you?

Mr. desmoinesdem and I are not big sports fans. I can enjoy a football, baseball or basketball game a few times a year, but I don’t follow professional or college sports closely. We don’t care if our alma mater’s teams have a winning or losing season. We almost never watch any sports on television (though we made some exceptions during last summer’s Olympics).

Our boys are now 3 and 6. They are interested in watching bigger kids or grownups play ball games at the park, and they can sit still for relatively long stretches, so we thought it was time to take them to their first real baseball game. On Sunday we went to see the Iowa Cubs (farm team for Chicago) play the Fresno Grizzlies.

My husband and I enjoyed the game. We had decent seats in the shade, it was a nice warm day, and the kids were interested in what was going on. They don’t know the details about baseball rules and conventions, so we had fun explaining to them what was happening, why the teams were changing places on the field, etc.. They liked seeing some good hits and catches. They even liked the silly between-innings entertainment.

Toward the end, our three-year-old’s interest flagged, so my husband took him to walk around the stadium and out to the car. That was around the eighth inning.

The teams went into the top of the ninth tied at 2 runs each. The I-Cubs had missed a lot of opportunities, leaving men on second and third early on, then managing only 1 run in the fifth despite having bases loaded with no out. My six-year-old was oblivious to these missed opportunities, because he didn’t understand the rules well enough. However, in the top of the ninth the Grizzlies scored a run to go ahead, and things started to go downhill.

My son started to get upset that the I-Cubs were losing. I stayed cheery, pointing out that the game wasn’t over yet, and anyway, all the players were doing their best. The bottom of the ninth was uneventful, three up and three down for the Cubs. My son got really pouty and grouchy. I’d been giving him snacks during the game, so I don’t think he was overhungry (which can make him crabby). He started saying he didn’t like the Grizzlies, they were “bad” and “mean” and “stupid,” etc. I told him that’s how sports work–both teams do their best, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. I was shocked that he was so upset. Keep in mind that he’d never seen an I-Cubs game before, and we don’t have any I-Cubs gear or talk about the I-Cubs at home. The people sitting near us in the stands weren’t getting bent out of shape about the loss.

When he was two, three and four, I used to take him to high school basketball games a few times a year. He would clap and cheer for anyone who made a basket for either team. I thought it was so charming. So, I was not prepared for this six-year-old to act like a sore loser.

We talked things over later at home. I tried to explain that even the best baseball teams lose a lot of games, because they play so many during the season. I explained that the other players were not bad or mean, they were just doing their best like the Cubs were.

I want to take my kids to a baseball game every once in a while, but I don’t want to feed into cycle of my son getting upset about a loss and projecting evil motives onto the other team’s players.

Does anyone have any suggestions for nurturing a child’s interest in sports without getting them emotionally wrapped up in whether the home team wins? My husband feels that tribalism is so ingrained in human nature that there’s not much we can do but model good behavior (that is, not get upset ourselves when our team loses the game). Eventually, our son will be able to enjoy a baseball game even if our team doesn’t win. I mostly agree, but I thought some people in the Mother Talkers community might have good advice on this front.

So, what do you think?

What Is Your Kid Into?

Posted on May 13, 2009 by Elisa_scoop

Because Eli likes to sing and dance, I recently looked into introductory dance classes for her. As it turns out, there is a group ballet class for 2 to 3-year-olds, which I hope she will attend.

But as I have done with Ari, if she chooses not to participate, or clearly doesn’t like it, I will withdraw her immediately. While I want my children to be exposed to extracurricular activities — something I wish I had had as a kid, but we did not have the money — I also don’t want them to spend their free time doing something they hate. I am fine with letting her sing and dance in her room to her heart’s content.

You could say I was perturbed by this essay in Brain, Child magazine about a mom who, like me, is fine with paying for music lessons even if her children do not excel in it. The idea is to expose them to activities they may enjoy and value as adults — not necessarily to raise the next Mozart or Mikhail Baryshnikov. Yet, here is the response she received from at least one mother:

Recently, another mother asked me what my endgame was for Henry’s violin playing. That was the word she used—endgame. I was stymied. I babbled some nonsense about the value of learning an instrument, but it wasn’t until later that I really thought about it. It’s clear he’s not going to be a famous soloist—the old joke about practice and Carnegie Hall is inapplicable. I never thought of an endgame. I’ve heard that our local high school and middle schools have decent music programs, and I’m pretty sure he’d enjoy playing in an orchestra.

“But what if he gives it up after high school?“ the endgame mother asked me. “Wouldn’t that bother you? All that money for lessons down the drain? All those years?“

After high school? I can’t possibly think that far ahead. What about the now?

Exactly. I would hate to think parents view all the recitals and concerts they attended as a waste of time and money. Considering, the Mozarts of the world are not even a dime a dozen, that is a lot of disappointment. Jeez.

Are your small children enrolled in structured activities? What are they? How did you decide upon that activity?

Candace Parker on Sports, Fame, and Motherhood

Posted on March 15, 2009 by Dana_scoop

ESPN the Magazine’s cover story this month features WNBA superstar Candace Parker, with her hands cupping the round curve of . . . her pregnant stomach. It’s a striking picture for a magazine that rarely has females of any sort on the cover.

The article asks, “Can Candace Parker be the female Jordan?” meaning not only in her basketball skills but also in her marketing appeal. Can women athletes be marketed as athletes, not just sex symbols? Can they take time off for a pregnancy and return to an athletic career and motherhood?

Parker says:

“The baby will be along for the ride, with me on trips, at the court.” She sighs. “You don’t hear about male players doing that, do you? Women, we just have to balance more things. It’s harder for us. That’s just the way it is.” She offers a weary smile before adding, “For now.”

Parker is, of course, treading ground that moms and ball players like Sheryl Swoopes and Lisa Leslie have trod before her. Whether Parker’s record will stand up to theirs in the long term remains to be seen. She has yet only one professional season to her credit. One advantage she has that they didn’t however, is that she is entering an already established league, with a few more years of public awareness about women’s professional sports.

The article does start with a mention of Parker’s bra size, which seems gratuitous, but most of the article is about how she’s been able to capitalize on her success “by selling her game, not her body.” I’ll allow the writer a catchy lead for what is really a more balanced article.

The print magazine includes a chart of five women athletes who returned to competition—and victories—after motherhood: Leslie, swimmer Dara Torres, runner Paula Radcliffe, tennis player Lindsay Davenport, and softball pitcher Jennie Finch. It doesn’t seem like motherhood has slowed them down at all.

It’s a good read in a publication I’m guessing most of us don’t read regularly. (Which brings us to the issue of women’s sports and media coverage, but that’s a whole other post . . . .)

(Crossposted at Mombian.)

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