One would think that I would look forward to my first grader getting off the bus each day, and spending time together. I do and I don’t. Of course, I love to see him, but I also know what the rest of the afternoon has in store for us. Homework.

We are in a school district where homework is given every weeknight as the default. I thought I had the homework situation under control, but recently, the amount has gone up dramatically. Here is the list of what must be done at home each night, four nights a week:

One math or language arts worksheet (15 min)
One spelling book written assignment (15 min)
One sight words written assignment (15 min)
Practice math facts with flashcards (10 min)
Reading for Reading Log (20 min)
TOTAL: One hour and fifteen minutes

So, roughly a total of one hour and fifteen minutes each night. IF it all goes smoothly, without interruption. With interruptions, breaks, we’re looking at a good two-hour slog each night. Oh yeah, and a monthly book report that always involves building something and purchasing odd materials.

It’s. Just. Too. Much.

After my child spends 6 hours a day in school, plus another hour of bus time, I really don’t want him to have to do more homework. I want him to hang out, go to the park, paint, draw, play outside, or read for fun. Even the reading, which is part of the assignment, often gets cut down in our chase to get all of the written assignments done!.

I don’t like the mother I become when I am supervising homework. On the outside, I look like I am calmly supervising. But on the inside, I feel antsy and impatient. I’m watching the clock. I’m plotting how I, I mean WE,  can cut corners. I’m trying to think ahead about how I can speed the process up without leaving my mark too obviously on the assignment. Sometimes I even feel anger at the assignments that come home, if I think they aren’t worthy of my child’s time (or mine). I feel disempowered and my home life imposed upon. If I could get away with it, I would fill it out myself.

So what to do? Well, I pulled out my copy of Alfie Kohn’s, The Homework Myth, to see what he suggests.

The Issue

Many districts with default homework policies will vaguely claim that “studies show” that homework is correlated with school success. Kohn challenges this, saying that, at best, such studies only show a correlation, not a causation. Kohn also notes that such studies “confuse grades and test scores with learning.” And even where positive effects exist, they are very small. Finally, there is no evidence of any academic benefit from homework in elementary school, other than free reading.

So why is homework the default policy of many schools and school districts, even at the elementary level? Kohn suggests that the most troubling reason is that we, as parents, are too averse to asking questions:

One reason we don’t ask challenging questions about homework is that we don’t ask challenging questions about most things. Homework continues to be championed by policy makers, assigned by teachers, and accepted by parents, in part because of our cultural aversion to digging out hidden premises, pressing for justification and opposing practices for which justification is lacking…

Even if we do regard something as objectionable, that doesn’t mean we will object to it.

OUCH. I’m not sure about this part. Sure, I think our culture can be lazy at times, but I think the main reason parents don’t raise objections is because such objections can be met with defensiveness by the district. Sometimes you can cause more trouble for yourself and for your children by challenging the status quo. You know, pick your battles and all that. In other words, it’s quite rational, in my opinion, to just try to go along.

The Solutions

Ok, so are there any solutions in this book, for homework-weary moms like me?

Kohn suggests that homework should not be the default, but should only be given when it’s an activity that is suited to home as opposed to the classroom. He also supports reading books of the child’s choice. However, even on free-choice reading, he counsels caution on reading logs. He quotes Jim DeLuca, a middle school language arts teacher:

“The best way to make students hate reading is to make them prove to you that they have read. Some teachers use log sheets….other teachers use book reports or other projects….in many cases, such assignments make the students hate the book they have just read, no matter how they felt about it before the project.”

In general, Kohn suggests that at minimum, homework should be individualized to the student, designed by the teacher (as opposed to canned worksheets), and not graded. However, Kohn admits that parents have an uphill climb if they are in a district where homework is the default policy.

In the end, The Homework Myth is a fascinating read, but leaves an individual parent with little actionable advice.

And so, here I am, right where I started. Do I speak up that this homework situation is not working for our family? Or do I keep quiet?

What is your child’s homework experience like? What is your opinion on homework? Have you even spoken out about homework you thought had no value or was too much? What was the outcome?

My kids’ school just switched to the Everyday Math program.  Normally, I don’t get really involved in curricular matters even though I’m and educator.  I’ve always taken the position that the teachers in the classrooms have the best angle on what’s best for all of their students.  I try to be supportive of both the kids and their teachers ’cause I know how hard it is in the classroom- even though I’m not in the classroom anymore.

But I think that’s fixing to change.

I’m mostly of a mind that homework has its place.  It teaches responsibility.  It can reinforce concepts learned in school, if it’s well designed.  I also think the amount has to be developmentally appropriate and I don’t think there are many teachers out there who disagree with me- at least in theory.

But man oh man- Everyday Math requires homework every stinkin’ night.  And the homework itself?  Euphemistically, I’d call it not so great.  Honestly?  It sucks ass.  Harry’s third grade homework was to find numbers around the house.  Molly’s first grade homework?  More of the same- find this or that in the newspaper or whatever  It’s not that it’s hard- in fact, it’s not even challenging- and it’s really not interesting.

It’s freakin’ busy work!  And my kids have decided to present a universal front in their belief that they would prefer to opt out.  To say a respectful “No thanks” to whole lame thing.  So that means that I’m in the nightly position of insisting they do the stupid-ass homework that I don’t even agree with.

You can imagine how it goes down, but just in case…

Me: Kiddos- homework in 5 minutes.
Kids:  Okay.
:::5 minutes later:::
Me: Time to do your homework.
H:  In a minute.
M:  Okay. (She makes no movement towards homework.)
Me:  Come on, do it now and then it will be done and we can watch Fetch (or play outside or eat cake or go buy a Ferrari)
H & M:  Whining noise that cannot be reproduced phonetically.
Me:  Here we go!  Pencils?  Check. (I produce freshly sharpened pencils)  Homework?  Check (I get papers out of their home folders).  Other related materials (newspaper, cans from the pantry, etc)?  Check.
H & M:  Continuation of whining noises, now supplemented with hysterical tears.
Me:  If you don’t do your homework, I’m taking away your video games/ toys/ birthday.  (On really good days I go down the “If you don’t do your homework you’ll end up on the streets or flipping burgers and don’t think for one minute I’ll give you cash for concert tickets or Lego money, buster” road.  I’m particularly proud of those days.)
H & M:  More tears, more shrieking- but movement towards the homework.
Me:  Incoherent grumbles and mutters
:::2 minutes later:::
H & M:  Done.  Can we watch Fetch?

So tell me…how do you make your kids do homework?  Particularly when you’re absolutely certain it’s a total waste of time and energy?