I know I do!

This morning I received an email from Miles's Drama teacher.

Well, it's happened. Our refusal to subscribe to cable has ruined my second grader's chance of getting into Princeton.

Miles got a zero on an assignment for Drama class because he couldn't find a humorous television commercial to describe. I told him to explain that we don't have cable, therefore we don't get any commercial stations, therefore, he really couldn't view any commercials. The teacher didn't like that explanation.

Good topic, Madwoman! What say you, MotherTalkers? -Elisa

My dear stepdaughter (DSD) is 14. There are four of us adults (both divorced parents have new long term partners) spoiling her. We do talk amongst ourselves and have a united front, but we're usually united in indulging her.

This afternoon DSD wanted to go to the mall after school, and the group of four friends decided to see a movie, and what with one thing and another she didn't get home until 8:30 (bedtime is 9) and her homework was very rushed and she didn't get to bed until 9:30 - and this is a girl who very much needs her sleep. We HAD a "no movies on weeknights" rule (from the last time I took her to a movie on a weeknight and it went badly) but we forgot.

We have also let her go to concerts on school nights - if it's a band she really likes and that's the only night they are in town. The next one is next Monday. My partner has heard from other families (at parent teacher night) that they don't approve and our rules look slack compared to theirs. Do other parents of teenagers, or those of you who used to be teenagers yourselves :), have any advice?

Bay Area Parent magazine recently doled out advice on how to teach middle school children self-reliance so they do basic things like turn in homework on their own.

It is a much harder transition than most elementary school parents expect, says former fifth grade teacher Andre Gensburger.

In elementary school, students -- and their parents -- are used to a safe environment of hugs, fun, non-fatal mistakes and lots of room for parents to shadow their children, sharing the joys of school by being parent helpers and extending the safety net of home into the classroom. Like learning to ride a bicycle, the early years of school involve training years, and parents firmly grasping the bike rack. By fifth grade, however, most students master the basic concepts of balancing and already want their parents to let go.

Middle school requires a realization that growth from here on out demands a lot of self-motivation from the children and, while parents can still run behind the bicycle, they are no longer encouraged to hold on. But they can help their children develop skills to cope with the demands of middle school.

What does Gensburger suggest? The following:

1.) Teach Self-Reliance. Unlike elementary school, middle school is when children find themselves responsible for class schedules, the demands of multiple teachers and graded homework. They are identified by student ID numbers and not their quirks and special talents. It is easy for students to identify “good” and “bad” teachers, but Gensburger suggests parents adjust their children’s attitudes instead.

2.) Get Organized! In middle school, there are daily homework assignments and long-term projects that cannot wait last minute. Gensburger suggests parents read their children’s log or homework planner and remain atop of due dates for homework assignments.

3.) Neat Handwriting Because more children have computers, they often don’t pay attention whether their hand-written assignments are neat. Help them understand the importance of legible writing as well as appropriate spacing on a page.

Yesterday, when I was picking my kids up from school, I had a discussion with my son's fourth grade teacher.  She is an experienced, qualified teacher.  Up until last year, she had been teaching 2nd grade at the same school.

Now, overall, my son is doing fine, but I was expressing some of my frustrations when he comes home with his "homework packet" and tells me he had never heard of some of the questions before.  I KNEW the teacher wouldn't do that, and told him it just means that he wasn't paying attention in class.

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Should parents be required to revisit their high school years? My initial reaction reveals my uber-geeky nature: "Sounds fun!" But I might feel differently if actually forced to do this...-Erika

Today's New York Times had an interesting article about a teacher who assigns homework to the parents of his high school English students. They are expected to write essays on the same topics their kids are studying. If they don't comply, their kid's grade suffers.

The point, he said, is to keep parents involved in their children's ' education well into high school. Studies have shown that parental involvement improves the quality of the education a student receives, but teenagers seldom invite that involvement. So, Mr. Frye said, he decided to help out.

''Parents complain about never getting to see their kids' work,'' he said. ''Now they have to.''

Some parents, he added, seem happy to revisit their high school years.

''There was one parent last year who would write pages and pages of stuff. It was great, so good to read,'' said Mr. Frye, who graduated from Montclair High in 1994.

Others are more resistant. ''When my daughter told me about the homework, I looked at her and said, 'You've got to be kidding me. I graduated. I'm done,''' said Lydia Bishop, a local real estate broker whose daughter Vanessa was in Mr. Frye's class last year. ''I did it very resentfully, but I did it.''

For those MTers with little ones not yet in grade school, here is a glimpse into the fun you will be having in a few short years. My Alex is 10 years old and in 5th grade. Every year since 2nd grade, he's had issues with keeping up with assignments. The child would have straight Es (Excellent) and As (starting in 4th grade) is he only turned in all his assignments on time. He has at least one 0 in every subject in each grading period. Read below to find out about the 5th grade version of this saga.