I think this is my first diary--I'm a lurker, but this didn't feel safe to talk about with my real life friends.  Ah, the anonymity of the internets!

I've been a SAHM since my oldest child was born almost 7 years ago.  I got into it almost accidentally; my dh liked his work, and I didn't.  I also realized (almost to my surprise) after my oldest was born that I just couldn't bear to leave him.  So I didn't, and fortunately, it worked out.

Fast forward to now.  I have 3 kids.  My dh and I faced some martial rockiness, including a short separation earlier this year (thankfully, he's dealing with his problems--yes, they are his problems, won't go into it here, but 12 step stuff and major therapy).  He was also out of work for several months, during which we were both looking for jobs.

Fortunately, we are really working hard on our marriage, and he got a great job with a major increase in pay, title, and responsibilities.  But then last week, I heard back from a place I applied in January, and I am a candidate for the job.  And it is one I really want.

I don't have very many female friends. The ones I do have I've had for over 10 years, and have been with me through thick and thin. But, our relationships are not as "tight" as they once were. I remember the days when I would be on the phone for hours, just planning our next night out. Yeah...those days are pretty much over. We are all in different stages of our lives, and our paths are not crossing the way they once did.

My friends are amazing women, but lately we don't seem to have much in common. We do make it a point to get together a few times a year, but as time passes...it just gets harder and harder to find the time to schedule a night out. I often hear how important it is to maintain outside adult relationships, to assist with the objective of not losing YOU. So, does the fact that I enjoy hanging out with my kids make me a freak? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good "Girls Night Out" as much as the next person. In fact, the picture I've attached is from a recent night out with Erika. We got together to see Margaret Cho's stand up...and we had a great time. So I do manage to get out and spend time with amazing women...but lately, most of these women seem to be members of my family. Is that bad? Do I need to step out of the protective bubble of my family and sustain the relationships I've developed over the years?

What about you? How important are adult relationships to you? How old are the friendships that you've been able to sustain and...how do you do it? Also, how often do you get out without your kids for a "Girls Night Out"?

I thought that I'd write on this Easter day, a day I wish my son was with me (and a day my son should be with me, but that will be reserved for another future blog entitled "Diatribe Against an Unreasonable Dad in a Custody Situation")...but my very first blog will be about  how blessed I feel on this Easter Day to be a mother, and given my situation, how lucky I feel to be a single mom. Here are a few reasons. Read on.

I don't make friends easily.  While people always like me right off the bat, I don't seem to cultivate real friendships.  The ones I've had over the years have faded away as our lives drifted apart.  Now I live with my BFF and I'm friends with his other BFF & his awesome wife, known here as cgisele12 (who sadly lives halfway across the US from us), and I have been "adopted" by my BFF's family who live locally (my family is scattered across the US).  But that's it.  And I'm fine with that.

I know I want better for my DS.  I want to teach him the value of true friendships, and help him develop those friendships (unlike my mom who always undermined my friendships, saying, they don't really like you, etc.-- yes, she had problems).  DS is only two now but I'm already thinking about it.