There is a great article in Ladies’ Home Journal (pictured on right) about a recently divorced woman who attended her 25th high school reunion.

In “Why Can’t I Be You?”, Fernanda Moore laments being surrounded by a rich businessman, still-married uber mothers, social justice fighters and super-accomplished people in general. She jokes that she wants to wear a name tag that reads, “Just Trying To Stay Above Water.”

On the drive home from the reunion I tried to figure out why my good mood had crashed so hard. No one I’d talked to had been condescending or rubbed her success in my face. I liked these people and I wanted to be happy for them. Actually, I was happy for them. So why did I feel so bad?

Moore talked to several therapists for her article, and there was a lot of good food for thought:

“The great thing about being a therapist is that it has almost completely cured me of envy,” (Salt Lake City psychotherapist Julie) Hanks said. “People’s lives are not as beautiful as they seem–or as wonderful as they claim. The inside scoop is very different, I promise you. No one exists without serious loss, disappointment or burdens.”

Another expert I spoke to, Christina G. Hibbert, Psy.D., a psychologist in Flagstaff, Arizona, pointed out that meeting someone at the the top of her game–especially at a class reunion, where everyone is presenting her best self–guarantees you’ll have a skewed impression. “You’re only looking at the great outcome of somebody else’s hard work, not the sacrifices they made in order to be successful,” Hibbert explained. She recommended that I think harder about whether I really wanted everything my classmates had and, if so, whether I was willing to pay the price to get it. “If you ultimately decide their achievements aren’t worth the trouble and sacrifice, that can be tremendously freeing,” she said.

Class reunions really bring out the funny in people. There’s my DH, who despite his success, will not attend any high school or college reunions. But I do know of people who rent fancy cars or clothes just to impress former classmates.

I am somewhere in the middle. Yes, I went to my 10th high school reunion in a nice dress — as all the women did. But I did not feel that the reunion was used as an opportunity to brag about our accomplishments. It was legitimately a way to track down friends pre-Facebook.

My only disappointment is that the cliques still existed and I had to choose between two groups. I went with the group in which DH — who was dragged to the event by the way! — actually knew people. At least one of my high school friends went to college with me and knew Markos.

I haven’t gone to any college reunions because my school was so large that I did not get to know most people there. I opt for the yearly “girls’ reunion” instead. Do any of you attend your high school or college reunions? How are they as the years go by? I’ve only been to my 10th, which was fine. But I wonder if I will be as motivated to attend my 20th or 30th.