Sleep training update…Thank you so much for your advice, support, and sympathy. I’ll be brief and say that after stalling a couple of days and fits and starts in my willingness, the babe seems to have taken to Weissbluth’s approach very nicely.
The first night sucked and we had decided ahead of time that we’d give it one good night before re-evaluating. He cried just under 45 minutes (with DH doing 2 checks at 15-min intervals) and slept until 6:30. He awoke rested and in a great mood. The next night DH had to work so I did it myself–after 10 minutes of crying I was cursing him and missing my baby–but 8 minutes and one check from me later and he was asleep. Last night? Under a minute of crying, a few minutes of cooing to himself, and another STTN!
We’ve been bringing him in bed to cuddle when he wakes up and I still take his morning nap more or less with him. All in all we’re happy with things, though I NEVER EVER thought I’d go this route. The world seems so different now that I’ve had a couple nights of near-normal sleep, and DS has never slept so well. I suppose I’ll always be a bit conflicted, though.
Thanks again, ladies. Really.
Hi, ladies…By way of introduction, let me just say that I’m a 32-year-old, dissertation-writing, left-wing, slightly flighty mama to a 7-month old “surprise” little boy. I’ve been reading y’all for a long time, but I think I’ve posted a total of one comment. About diaper cream or something. I’m so impressed by the sense of community here and excited to be a part of it.
The reason I’m writing this diary is to (I hope) get a little advice or at least some commiseration. It is so time to get Peanut sleeping in his crib and in a way that’s more efficient than our current extended nursing/singing/tiptoe away/repeat as needed routine.
When he was born, we wanted to co-sleep but had him in a bassinet mostly because he seemed so teeny that we were afraid to have him in the bed. This lasted about two weeks until we became intentional co-sleepers. This lasted until he was five months old and a real wiggle-worm who wanted to nurse all night long. Now he sleeps on a futon mattress surrounded by pillows because I can’t nurse him to sleep in the crib. But he’s mobile enough now that this isn’t a good solution anymore.
I haven’t read all the books, but I’ve read plenty. From Sears to Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution to SleepEasy to The Baby Whisperer to Happiest Baby on the Block to Ferber to Weissbluth.
Anyway…this has been weighing on my mind so heavily lately. It takes such a long time to get him to fall asleep to the point where I can sneak away whether it’s for his morning nap or at bedtime (he’s in daycare in the afternoons where the naps are utterly random) and I feel so overwhelmed sometimes. Especially because with the nursing to sleep, his sleep is all-me-all-the-time and I’d really love to share that with my husband.
So after much thought and discussion, we’re set to try Weissbluth tomorrow night. On the one hand, it seems so harsh, on the far end of the spectrum opposite the loving Dr. Sears–I mean we’re really supposed to just shut the door and not come back until his single post-midnight feeding? But on the other, in a way it seems kinder than Ferber because the idea of going in there at 5, 10, 15 minutes seems like it teaches him to cry for progressively longer and it seems like such a tease if we aren’t supposed to pick him up.
I really like Elizabeth Pantley’s perspective and tone and everything, but (I am so ashamed to admit this, especially to people who don’t know me) I just don’t think that I’ve got the mental resources left to be as gradual as that approach requires. I’m so tired.
If you have the time and inclination, what I’d really love to hear is some of your experiences with sleep training:
If your baby(ies) slept in his/her own room and crib, how did that happen? When did it start?
If you used Weissbluth, Ferber, or something similar, how long did it take? Did you do naps and bedtime all at once or just one or the other? Did your child seem more clingy or upset the following day?
If you had it to do over, would you do it the same way? What would you change?
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I’m glad to be here.