Apparently, the more fortunate families hire discipline coaches averaging about $100 an hour when their children act up, according to Parents. But don't despair. The magazine recently aggregated the responses of four top discipline coaches to help all parents:

Predicament: My child refuses to go to bed.
Cathy Cassani Adams: You might try telling your child that you'll come into her room up to three times, but after that she needs to go to sleep on her own. To reinforce the idea, tape three pieces of paper to her wall, and remove one each time she calls for you. Within a few nights, she'll start cooperating.
Dr. Maureen O'Brien: State firmly, "It's time for bed. Here are two books. Which one do you want Mommy to read before I turn out the light?" Don't ask open-ended questions, such as, "Are you tired?" That invites negotiation.
Jennifer Wolf: Be consistent with your child's routine. Give her a bath at the same time every night, and play, read, and cuddle in the the same order. That should help prepare her for bedtime. And if it doesn't, try turning the TV off after dinner. Watching television may seem like a soothing activity, but it actually makes kids' brains more alert.
Kim-Tai DeMars: If your child keeps getting up, calmly put him back to bed. Say something like, "You've got a playdate tomorrow, and if you get a good night's sleep, you'll have a lot more fun." If he's old enough, try to explain why sleep is so important: "When you get enough rest, your brain feels better, and it helps your body grow."

Predicament: My kid gets "the gimmes" in stores.
Cassani Adams: Talk to your child about the purpose of the shopping trip. If you're picking out a birthday present for a friend's party, explain before you enter the store that you're there to buy only one thing. And let him know how you expect him to behave.
Dr. O'Brien: Say something like, "No, we can't buy that toy. But you can put it on your birthday wish list, and maybe someone will get it for you." You might also suggest that your child start saving her allowance or earning money so she can buy it herself one day.
Wolf: If you want your child to be able to delay gratification and become aware of the value of money, practice saying "No" when he gets the gimmes. Once you stop giving in to his whining, he'll stop asking for things.
DeMars: State the rules before you go shopping: "If you keep asking to buy something, we're going to leave the store." Give your child one reminder, then leave if it continues. Avoid criticizing or scolding your child. You'll only have to do this once or twice before she stops behaving this way.

I am so proud of Ari. We had a birthday party on Sunday and we stopped at one of Ari's -- and Mami's! -- favorite stores, Target, to pick up a couple Tranformers for his friend. At first, Ari grabbed two figurines and said, "This one is for me. This one is for Ethan."

I gently explained to him that we were going to Ethan's birthday party -- and not his. "When it is your birthday, we can come back and you can pick out a toy for you." We bought both figurines for Ethan and left the store without any drama. I puffed up with pride. My boy is growing up.

Now onto other issues I still contend with:

Maybe this is normal. Maybe not. Either way, this seemed like a good place to ask.

My girl has an iron will. It's something I like about her and something I recognize in myself and remember from childhood. She's 2 1/2, so I understand it's a difficult time for most people (ha), but this morning really took the cake and worried me.

Karina entered a biting phase when she was about three years old. I didn't know how to deal with it and HATED it. She bit like a dog. Sometimes provoked, but most times unprovoked. She bit as a way of protecting herself. Have you ever dealt with a dog that had its nose all wrinkled, growled a little, and proudly displayed all its teeth? That's how Karina was when I attempted to discipline her. Scary.

When I read Dear Prudie, the memories all came flooding back.

Dear Prudie,
During a visit with my brother-in-law's family, I was sitting at the table chatting when my 3-year-old nephew ran up, screamed, "I am a dragon," and bit my arm. Shocked and in pain, I ended up hitting him and knocking him over. He started crying and ran to his room. My brother-in-law said, "I know it was almost a reflex, but you can't come in here and hit my kid." I totally agree and feel terrible that I struck his son. This is not the first time I have been bitten by this nephew, and he has been sent home from day care because of biting. I now have a bruise where he bit me through my jacket. I have apologized profusely, but I still feel like a monster. How could I have better resolved the situation without resorting to violence?

—Flustered and Hurt

Here's Prudie's advice:

Dear Flustered,
Next time you visit, you could wear one of those mesh suits used by deep-sea divers searching for sharks. Or maybe you could borrow a whip and chair from a retired lion tamer. Of course you feel terrible about inadvertently striking your nephew, but getting smacked is what happens to people who sink their teeth in your flesh like a rabid Doberman. I'm against corporal punishment, but your unintentional hit may turn out to help this 3-year-old absorb a visceral lesson: "Bite uncle on arm, get whacked in head." Sure, it was an unpleasant situation for everyone, but you didn't need a lecture about not hitting children; your in-laws needed to apologize for the nephew's behavior and assure you they have been working hard to break him of this habit. Stop fretting, and next time you go over, be vigilant about your nephew entering your personal space until he outgrows his cannibalistic tendencies.

—Prudie,

What do you think? Did she give good advice? What if the parents of this three year old hadn't done anything to break him of the habit? Did you have a biter? Are you dealing with a biter? What would you recommend?

Regarding Karina's phase...I tend to block out things that were unpleasant, so I really don't remember how we got her to stop. She's no longer a biter...thank God! Now, she's a well adjusted, completely cool 13 year old girl that I am proud to call my daughter. So, there IS hope!

As a parent, I try to be authorative, loving and fair. I want my kids to know that I mean what I say and say what I mean. If my children break the rules, they KNOW that there will be a punishment.

So, why do I find it SO hard to follow through on punishments? Because my kids are SO darned cute, that's why!

Case in point:

Last Saturday, I bought Cristian an early birthday gift...Rock Band for his Xbox 360. The video game comes with a drum set, a guitar, a microphone and the disc, and cost a little under $200.  On Monday night, I had plans to go out to dinner and so left my kids in the care of my father. While I was gone, Cristian invited a neighbor friend over (something he's NOT suppose to do), and they proceeded to play with the video game. At one point, Cristian moved the drum set, which was still attached to the Xbox and dropped the console, which opened and spit out the disc. Now, the disc is unreadable. TWO DAYS!! That's how long the game lasted him. I was pissed...

I got home, heard what he had to say...then punished him. No Xbox for two weeks. Period.

His tear brimmed eyes (which resembled the eyes in those velvet paintings) looked up at me as I handed down his sentence. He was then sent to his room. A few minutes later, he came into my room, and said he had written me a note on his Magna Doodle. He left it for me to read...

(See the note after the jump)

Gloria wrote a post last month about an Illinois girl who got slapped with detention for hugging at school. And her own daughter served detention after an "older man"- her crush from a neighboring high school- came to campus and gave her a squeeze.

Well, a school here in good old Orange County has managed to top that: they SUSPENDED two students for hallway hugging.

Their crime? Being repeat, serial huggers:

Students who continue to hug after at least one warning violate the state's education code for defiance of authority, according to Principal Tracey Vander-Hayden.

The Hewes Code of Ethics in students' handbooks states a "hands off" policy, specifically citing no "hugging, holding hands, etc."...

The type of hugging that can result in suspension, Vander-Hayden said, is "full frontal hugging that's chest to chest and hip to hip." The policy applies to both mutual and unwanted hugging.

Parents and students picketed outside the school this morning with cute, homemade signs bearing slogans like "Hugs don't make thugs."

What say you, ladies? Will we be sending our children to school in large, plastic bubbles before we know it?

My ex-husband and I hardly agree on anything. In fact, that was one of the reasons we broke up. He wanted us to stay together and I...disagreed.

Now, this problem is affecting the way we're raising Karina. He doesn't want her talking to boys. Period. I think he's being unrealistic. He thinks that Karina getting in trouble for hugging a boy goodbye at school is enough to call her a "whore". I think he's WAY out of line. He thinks he has a right to go to the boys house and put the fear of God into him AND his parents. I want to get to know the boy and his parents and offer myself as a chaperone. Don't get me wrong, I still think that Karina is too young to officially start dating one person, but I also think its a BIG mistake to try and prevent her from going through something that is COMPLETELY NORMAL.

I was raised to think that boys and sex were BAD, unless of course you were about to get married. Which really did provide for some serious sexual hang-ups! I want to avoid Karina having to go through the same b.s.

So, what do I do? I've tried talking with my ex-husband, but he's a man that really can't be reasoned with.

How about you? How do you come to some middle ground when you vehemently disagree with the way your partner is doing things?

As some of you are aware, Karina, my 13-year-old daughter got lunch detention when a boy hugged her goodbye. She told me all about it the moment she got home and asked if I thought the punishment was too harsh? I thought about it and was a bit conflicted. What I ended up answering her was, "Yes, I did think it was too harsh, but the rules are there to protect you." She seemed satisfied with my response.

But I wasn't sure I was...

What if she had hugged a female classmate? Would the punishment be the same? What if my daughter wasn't sure of her sexual identity? There are a lot of variables. But, this morning, I realized that Karina isn't alone.

A fellow 13-year-old student named Megan Coulter, also got two days of detention after two hugs for violating a school policy banning public displays of affection.

District Superintendent Sam McGowen said that he thinks the penalty is fair and that administrators in the school east of St. Louis were following policy in the student handbook.

It states: "Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved."

Really? Is it REALLY poor taste to give someone a hug? I remember when I was in middle school, hugging was HUGE! We hugged hello, we hugged goodbye, we hugged for EVERYTHING! How can hugging be bad? If these rules would have been in effect when I was in school, I would have graduated in the detention room!

What do you think? Are hugs really in poor taste? Reflect poor judgement? Bring discredit to the school and to the persons involved? Share your thoughts!

Recently I have noticed the subject of dealing with 3 & 4 year olds popping up here at Mothertalkers. As the parent of a 3.5 year old girl, it has been nice to know that I am not the only one struggling with this age. My daughter seemed to become a different kid overnight when she turned 3. We'd never had tantrums before that, and even though she would get upset at things easily, she was always respectful. Over the past 6 months, and especially over the past two months since we have a new baby in the house, she has become so much more difficult. Backtalking me, being rude, throwing her body on the ground having tantrums, etc. Dinnertime is a disaster -- I've come to the point where I will only serve us all the same thing, and if she doesn't want to even try it, fine. She can leave the table and sit quietly with a book.

At three in the morning, I heard a knock.  This was followed by cries of "mommy!  mommy!"  My three in the morning self could think of two possibilities--one, that there was a murderer in the house who didn't have the decency to kill me first.  Two, a nightmare.

But there was a third possibility that hadn't crossed my mind.  I entered Simone's room and found that she apparently woken up some time ago and smeared an entire tin of bag balm over her entire room.  

This article about a kindergarten teacher appeared on my local news website today.  The teacher, Ms. Fellner, will be fired unless she takes her case to a third party judge.  Apparently she hasn't been treating her students very well...

Bailey says people have witnessed Fellner physically grab students, yell at them, threaten to call the police on misbehaving students, and in some cases, make students stand with their nose against a wall as punishment.

UPDATE: Would YOU drug this baby with Benadryl? ;-)

Ok, another mommy was thrown off a plane because her child was being "disruptive". I know we've heard these stories before...but for some reason, this one really got to me.  

According to this story, Kate Penland, along with her one and a half year old son, Garron were thrown off a plane before take off. This, after an 11 hour delay. It happened last month, in Houston on a Continental ExpressJet plane.  

So, what happened? Bye-bye, plane; that's what happened.

The one and a half year old repeated 'bye-bye, plane' all through the flight attendant's safety speech.

"As she finished, she leaned over the gentleman who was sitting next to me, and she said, 'OK, it's not funny anymore. You need to shut your baby up,'" Penland said.
Penland explained Garron would likely fall asleep soon. The toddler wasn't crying or throwing a fit.

Penland told Eyewitness News, "She said, 'It doesn't matter. Regardless, I don't want to hear it.' And she said it's called baby Benadryl and (made a drinking motion.) And I said, 'Well, I'm not going to drug my child so you have a pleasant flight.'"

After the "disturbance" the flight attendant announced they were returning to the gate and Penland would be removed from the plane.

So, what do you think? Did the crew member go too far? Are you just as upset as I am in reading this article?

If you are, feel free to contact the airline:

http://www.expressjet.com/...

How many times have you made excuses for your child? He throws a tantrum? You say, "Oh, he's just tired/hungry/not feeling well..." I know that I've been known to be guilty of it! When is it no longer acceptable to make excuses for your child? When should we start teaching them accountability and responsibility? Should they be 3? How about 5? Or...perhaps 25?

Nicole Richie, 25, Reality TV-Star and Paparazzi Magnet is due to stand trial for a DUI for driving THE WRONG WAY in the carpool lane on the 134 freeway in Los Angeles. Her father Lionel Richie thinks it's no big deal:

He said in an interview with the USA Today newspaper: "She keeps apologizing to me. I told her, 'You're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing to your father at this age.' "

He additionally said:

The pop legend also thinks today's stars are subject to far more scrutiny than he ever was when he shot to fame in the 70s with Motown band the Commodores.

He said: "There's just so much information out there right now - MySpace, cell phones, the internet. If we had had all that when the Commodores were around, God only knows what my mother and father would have seen."

Hmmmm...

So MotherTalkers, what do you think? When do we stop making excuses for our children and make them take responsibility for their actions/mistakes?