From Play Dates to High School Parties

Today’s open thread about play dates reminded me about this FUNNY STORY. A friend has a high schooler and is now dealing with the parties. She wanted to host one at her house. I warned her, you are going to have a house full of hormone influenced teenagers, are you sure you are ready for that? She was determined to make her oldest child happy. She purchased a Hula Girl Pinata (you can see the picture with that link)! My jaw dropped when she told me. I said this is a high school party not a kids party. She insisted it would be fun, and to my surprise, they loved beating the crap out of that pinata. Poor Hula Girl :(

Here is the funny part: All was going well until they decided to “get low“. You know, the hip hop inspired dance where they booty shake and get as low as possible. Well turns out one of the guests decided she would wear one of her tightest and oldest pair of jeans to the party. Once she decided to “get low“ those jeans only lasted a few rounds before…RIP! huge tear in the crotch area and oh the irony. She was wearing Hello Kitty underwear. AND…


She was so embarrassed. I am sure people are still talking about it at her school. I felt bad for her, but maybe this will lead to better decision making next time?

Do you have any similar experiences?

Where you embarrassed, did you see someone become embarrassed?

What advice do you give your teenage children in regards to parties and attire?

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Sunday Open Thread

Happy Sunday everyone!

I’ll be working yet another weekend shift today, but still floating on a cloud after yesterday’s exhausting yet exhilarating events. The Day of the Dead celebration was crowded with thousands of people and I’m tired as heck today, but I will be treasuring the memories for the rest of my days.

Have you ever looked at your child and thought: I can’t believe I had a hand in creating this amazing being?

That’s how I felt when watching my daughter on stage yesterday, dancing her heart out to “Guadalajara, Guadalajara” with a smile permanently affixed to her face. My mom and aunt were both in tears afterward, and I was grinning like a loon.

Less than a block away, my cousins stood guard by the altar we created in memory of our dear departed loved ones, mostly grandparents. But there was an unexpected addition this year: my husband’s nephew Ben, who was killed in a car accident last June.

I asked my very gifted cousin Sophia to create a calaca representing Ben, and what she came up with had me and DH in tears.

That’s DH’s dad on the left, Ben on the right, and some Butterfingers in the middle… Ben’s favorite candy. This was a small detail of the ofrenda we set up.

I also set out two pictures of my Tata (Gloria’s father) along with a tiny bottle of his favorite tequila. I’m so tired today, but my heart is very full.

What’s everyone up to? Chat away!

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Dance your life’s work

Recently, Science magazine sponsored a contest for PhD students that had geeky scientists from all over sporting their more creative side.

Dancing scientists

Watching some of the videos (the fantastic, the horrible and the just plain weird), I found myself musing on how I could have represented my PhD through dance. And how I could represent my current work through dance.

While the title of the contest was actually “Dance your PhD”, not all of us were foolish academically inclined enough to go down that road!


Breaking down your intensely complicated life (whether it be a research project, your daily grind at the office, or your intense schedule with the kids) into an easily understood concept…and then representing that concept through something entirely different, brings clarity to what you’re doing.

My PhD dance:
Lots of people wiggling like fish, all in rainbow colours. Two break away to another corner of the room (only dressed in red). More dancers enter and join the two, all in shades of red. They then separate into darker reds in one corner, lighter reds in another corner, and purply reds in another.

The end. That’s my PhD on evolutionary genetics. Like it? :)

My current work…that would be a lot darker. I’m not sure how one represents heroin users and alcoholics without going into dark interpretive dance!

How would you dance your work? Do you think that this sort of departure from the usual presentation of what you do brings clarity? Would it help people understand you better?

ps: My favourites: Selection of a DNA aptamer for homocysteine using systematic evolution of ligands by exponential enrichment, and the slightly more unusual Mechanism of Integration of NBU1, a Bacteroides mobilizable transposon. But the decidedly strange and interpretive The negotiation of contributions to public wikis is worth a view, just for the danced version of a flame war!

And I’ll end with my son’s favourite youtube video of all time. He knows all the moves and all the words. Yes, I’m raising little geeks.

UPDATE:

Oops. Lyn says that the videos aren’t visible. Here are a few on vimeo. Hopefully you can see them!
biology winner
physics winner
social sciences (the public wiki/flame war one)
a chemistry one that I just like

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Saturday Open Thread

It’s the weekend, y’all! What’s up?

It’s a big day in our household: our daughter’s first “official” dance recital! She has danced with her folklorico dance troupe several times, usually at an outdoor festival. But today’s recital will feature moves that are more ballet and jazz-inspired, along with props, a set, and lights. She was a doll at yesterday’s dress rehearsal. Next Thursday, she will graduate from preschool.

My baby girl is so not a baby any more, and as sad as that makes me, it’s a joy watching her grow into a clever, graceful, goofy, affectionate and imaginative little girl.

Did you hear about the 11-year-old girl who wanted to raise money to help save birds affected by the Gulf oil spill?

Her teachers knew she loved to doodle on her tests and homework, but no one thought Olivia Bouler’s drawing skills would raise more than $110,000 to help birds affected by the Gulf oil spill.

The 11-year-old wrote to the Audubon Society and told them she had an idea that could help raise money.

“I am a decent drawer, and I was wondering if I could sell some bird paintings and give the profits to your organization,” the letter said.

Kids like Olivia leave me humbled and awed.

Who cooks the meals in your house? My DH does the lion’s share of the cooking, because he works from home and it’s easier for him to get dinner started rather than wait for me to get home from the office. Now that I’m on maternity leave, I usually have my arms full of baby so again, he’s cooking the dinners.

Apparently, this makes us a rarity. According to this msnbc.com story, just 13 percent of home meals are cooked by men, and that number has dropped in recent years.

A new study just published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that moms who work full-time are more likely to have overweight or obese kids, with fewer family meals cited as a key reason why. Meals prepared and eaten at home are almost always more nutritious than restaurant fare, typically more balanced and lower in calories, fat and sodium.

But why do working moms get singled out when working dads routinely get a pass in the kitchen?

Good question, eh?

Speaking of fathers… anyone have any last minute Father’s Day gift ideas to share? Any special outings planned?

What’s everyone up to this weekend? Chat away!

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5th Grade Ballroom Dance

Wednesday was the culmination of a 3 month project in DS’s school – the Ballroom Dance Extravaganza!  This is a program in over 100 NYC schools that was inspired by Pierre Dulaine.   If you saw “Take the Lead” with Antonia Bandares (sigh, yum!), you saw the beginning of this program.   The actual school based program was in a movie called “Mad Hot Ballroom” and the year the movie was made DS’s school was the “returning champions” so they’re featured in the movie.

Anyway, all this is to say that this is a big deal in our school – the younger kids know for years that in 5th grade they have ballroom.  Some kids dread it, but my DS has been looking forward to it, and has said for 2-3 years “I can’t wait for 5th grade”


This program is so wonderful.  The Dance Teacher (the beloved “Miss Stacee”),  has been trained on how to teach kids to dance, the classroom teachers help them practice, and their social studies and ELA curricula overlap.  They learned 6 dances (tango, rumba, swing, fox trot, waltz, polka), learned about the history of each dance, learned the importance of form and discipline, and wrote about their experiences.

The performance was amazing.  Not only was my DS adorable (of course!), but every single kid learned these dances.  The visual of 60 10 and 11 year olds dancing in synchrony is breathtaking.  And, not taken lightly, they danced with the opposite sex – boys and girls had to touch each other, look each other in the eye, and stay in form – a big deal at 10, when that’s still a big ewwwwww.  DS said he liked his partner because she knew how to maintain eye contact without being giggly – and “in dancing it’s very important to keep eye contact and form with your partner.”

Everyone at school asked me if I cried – and there were some moms in tears – but I just beamed, and laughed, and clapped.  

These are the moments I treasure as a mom!

Now – for the super indulgent part of the diary – here is DS’s final poem about this experience.  Keep in mind that he “hates writing” and “is not good at it”.  He wrote this mostly on his own, with a few suggestions and spelling corrections from mom.

The Experience

We enter the quiet room,
filled with people,
all the eyes,
staring at us,
all we think is,
do good,
do good,
do good.

We start the quick and easy dance,
the Merengue,
turning three times,
like we want to,
get dizzy,
fireworks light up the show,
like the fourth of July,
and then
it begins,
again.

Next we start,
the most chi chi fu fu of all,
the Fox Trot,
with a rhythm of,
slow slow quick,
slow slow quick,
slow slow quick.

Then we rhomba,
we make two boxes,
then we walk,
forward,
then backward,
then another box.

T-a-n-g-o T-a-n-g-o,
we dance the Tango,
serious but deadly,
we walk around the gym,
corte like swordsmen,
and turn into scorpions.  

Next we Waltz,
we make boxes,
then we do the progressive,
after we make a “T” shape,
and switch.

Everyone’s favorite,
the Swing,
the girls turn,
like tops,
out of control,
then the boys turn,
go through,
the bridge,
in invisible limos,
we boogie walk,
like clocks gone mad,
everyone’s favorite,
the Swing.

This new experience,
opens new doors,
so we can,
do more,
it was fun,
but now,
it,
is,
over.

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Weekend Open Thread

It’s the weekend, y’all! Hope you have half as much fun as the kid wearing red is obviously having…

Gotta say, makes me want to get my groove on…sigh. I don’t dance enough any more!

What’s everyone up to this weekend? Other than a trip to the pool, we’ve got nothing planned. Maybe we’ll have an impromptu dance party…

Chat away!

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What Is Your Kid Into?

Because Eli likes to sing and dance, I recently looked into introductory dance classes for her. As it turns out, there is a group ballet class for 2 to 3-year-olds, which I hope she will attend.

But as I have done with Ari, if she chooses not to participate, or clearly doesn’t like it, I will withdraw her immediately. While I want my children to be exposed to extracurricular activities — something I wish I had had as a kid, but we did not have the money — I also don’t want them to spend their free time doing something they hate. I am fine with letting her sing and dance in her room to her heart’s content.

You could say I was perturbed by this essay in Brain, Child magazine about a mom who, like me, is fine with paying for music lessons even if her children do not excel in it. The idea is to expose them to activities they may enjoy and value as adults — not necessarily to raise the next Mozart or Mikhail Baryshnikov. Yet, here is the response she received from at least one mother:

Recently, another mother asked me what my endgame was for Henry’s violin playing. That was the word she used—endgame. I was stymied. I babbled some nonsense about the value of learning an instrument, but it wasn’t until later that I really thought about it. It’s clear he’s not going to be a famous soloist—the old joke about practice and Carnegie Hall is inapplicable. I never thought of an endgame. I’ve heard that our local high school and middle schools have decent music programs, and I’m pretty sure he’d enjoy playing in an orchestra.

“But what if he gives it up after high school?“ the endgame mother asked me. “Wouldn’t that bother you? All that money for lessons down the drain? All those years?“

After high school? I can’t possibly think that far ahead. What about the now?

Exactly. I would hate to think parents view all the recitals and concerts they attended as a waste of time and money. Considering, the Mozarts of the world are not even a dime a dozen, that is a lot of disappointment. Jeez.

Are your small children enrolled in structured activities? What are they? How did you decide upon that activity?

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Firemans’ Dinner Dance

X-posted at Medicine and Mishaps

Right after the dress got delivered on Saturday (go here to read about our clothing adventure), Andy’s friend and attendant, Miss Manhattan, came over.  She helped him get ready and walked the dog while I fought with my hair, bathing the kiddos and all the usual big-event prep.  My folks got ready at their hotel while Pablo arranged the drop-off and pick-up of the kids with our babysitter Brad and his girlfriend Laura.  At last we were dressed and ready to head out.

More, and pictures, after the flip


We arrived at the church and were greeted by Andy’s work-buddy, Jason. We presented our tickets and came inside to find a silent auction going on to support the random Acts program, as well as firefighters serving drinks behind the bar.  We spoke to Larry Hendricks, one of the organizers* of this big shindig, and then got Andy comfortable at the table we’d be eating at, away from all the hustle and bustle of the crowd.  My father got a few pictures before the program started, including one with Andy and our very proud Mama.

Then we got a few with Andy and Miss Manhattan.

And Miss Manhattan and Julian

Then Andy’s other ladies arrived.  First, Dr. K-, and then Andy’s ICU nurse.  Dr. R- was willing to come out from her conference, and offered to drive the 4 hours, spend 3 with Andy, then drive back 4 hours to go back on shift, but we all told her that was crazy.  So, Dr. K- asked Andy’s favorite (and most frequent) ICU nurse to come instead.  When she arrived, Andy and I realized that we had melded Dr. R- and this nurse into one person, and he vaguely remembers asking her where her glasses went back in July.  We’ve affectionately named her “Thing 2.”  So, Thing 2 wasn’t at work the day he showed up at the hospital a few weeks beck, so this was the first time she’d seen him since they wheeled him up to the 5th floor TCU full of tubes and flat on his back.  She was, shall we say, pleasantly surprised to see how well he was doing.

Andy and his dates:

During dinner, Brad and Laura brought Rory and Julian to the church, and we seated them in comfy laps around the table:

Jealous, Julian made a move for the doctor and nurse himself:

And Rory got to cuddle with our neighbor, friend and sometimes-nanny, Elfay:

Anyway, dinner went well and then they started the tribute to the Oncology ward at Children’s hospital.  If you want something to make you cry, that’ll do it.  I’ve said before how much the kindness of the Children’s nurses meant to us, but those are such good, strong people that take care of cancer-kids day in and day out.  While they were doing their presentation, Andy, Rory and I crept to the back of the hall.  Then we waited while the guys from Engine 16 recounted their memories of the call that day, bringing us toys and a wheelchair and how touched they were by Andy’s relationship with my daughter, and mine with him.

They showed pictures of the two of them before the accident, her visiting him in the hospital, and of the accident (including the one of them moving him from out from under the stairs) while they talked, and then called us down.  Rory hopped onto his lap, and I pushed him down the center aisle with a spotlight on us.

The guys came down the stairs from the stage, surrounded Andy and thanked him again for his heroism.  They re-presented him with the plaque he’d received in the hospital, and shook his hand.

Now, those of you who know Andy know that he was a very quiet, shy guy even before the accident.  This has only become more apparent.  However, somebody needed to talk and say thank you, so they asked me to speak.  :)  Hey, if they insisted, who am I to say no?

I thanked them the best I could, trying to put all that these people have done for us and meant to us into less than five minutes, and then I told them a secret.  

When we’d come to the fire station in October, on Halloween day, they were the first outing we’d done since the fall.  It was a TREMENDOUS amount of work, for both Andy and I, but we managed to wrestle his big electric wheelchair out of the car and tie on his firetruck “costume” to go see them.  And they were SO happy for him, so happy to see him up and moving around in his chair.  And they told him that next time he came to visit, they wanted him to walk through the front door.  And you know what?  They were the first people to use the word “walk” without the phrase “you’ll never” in front of it. And they were so pleased with all of his progress, including his weight loss and transition to a manual chair.  So, for the last 6 weeks, we’d worked on a chance to give something back to them, and we’d kept it a secret.  My parents didn’t know, his doctors didn’t know, and none of the firefighters knew.  

So, once the speech was over, I reached into his wheelchair bag, and removed his polio crutches…




…and he stood up.  

Now, he’s wearing leg-braces under his pants and we’ve done NO exercise for days because of how much this wears him out, and he can’t really do more than get up and turn around, but there you go.  He managed to turn his body towards the firefighter and say thank you, and was smothered in hugs for his trouble.

We’d wanted to give the firemen who saved him, who encouraged and helped him, a happy memory to go along with this story.  I like to think we did.

Then, they introduced the band, and everybody got on the dance floor.

Rory got to dance with all the guys from Engine 16:

And even Andy got in some good moves:


Oh, and the Albuquerque Firefighters’ Random Acts group (inspired by our Oakland group) gave him a shirt, so now he’s got LOTS of firefighter paraphernalia.

The dinner was amazing, and I am humbled and touched by these wonderful people and all they have done for my brother.  I mentioned it in my speech (will get a video of that at some point), but I’m amazed that these men, who do heroic acts and save lives on a daily basis, have gone so far out of their way to honor and encourage Andy.  Truly, truly amazed.  These men have been a source of inspiration and hope for both Andy and Rory since the day of the accident, and we are without a way to express our gratitude.  

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to all of the Random Acts people, all the volunteers, all the strangers who came up to my brother, in tears, and told him how moved they were.

We did forget to get pictures of Pablo and I, Pablo and the kids and I, or the five of us my mom and dad together.  I don’t think we got a single photo of Pablo all decked out at all, since he was playing camera-man, but that’s not too shabby, I think.

————————————————————————————-
He prefers anonymity, but that’s because he’s a very sweet, humble guy who doesn’t want the limelight taken away from the fire-fighters.  I both get and appreciate that, but he and his co-organizer Cindy Chin make the whole Random Acts thing possible, so he’ll have to pardon the shout-out

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Snoopy Dance Goes Global

This is one of the happiest things I’ve seen on YouTube. It’s called Where The Hell is Matt 2008 and it’s just beautiful.

According to his website, Matt quit his job and went traveling in 2003. During the trip a friend filmed him dancing his special dance in Hanoi and put it on the internet. The dance floated around the internet for a while and now…

Now Matt is quasi-famous as “That guy who dances on the internet. No, not that guy. The other one. No, not him either. I’ll send you the link. It’s funny.”

The updated, 2008 video is five minutes of this dance with people all around the world. Take a look and see if he’s danced in your part of the world.

What do you think of his unique dance? Did Stride gum do a good thing when they financed his travel? My answers are: I like it, and I think so.

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My dance turned out great

I mentioned a while ago that I would be competing in a local version of “Dancing with the Stars” as a “celebrity” representative of the newspaper I work for as a reporter. I even included a snippet of video that showed me practicing.

Well, the dance was Sunday night … AND I WON. I still find this stunning, since I’ve never thought of myself as a dancer and never had trained as a dancer before in my life (even as a kid).

If you’re interested, please go to one of my blogs on our Quad-City Times newspaper Web site and watch one of the videos of the dance. The one my husband took (which is on YouTube, but linked from my blog) is actually a little better, because he includes the awards ceremony. The videos are fairly short,  but (I think) they’re fun to watch.

I’ve been OBSESSED with preparing for this thing, along with covering a major flood and other work and family issues, so I’m sorry I haven’t been a regular contributor here lately. I’ve missed MTers, and hope to visit with you more now that the dance is behind me. :)

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