Here is something we have or will all have to grapple with at some point in our lives: how to care for an elderly parent and manage the household finances.

In this case, Laurie Cook had to quit her day job to care for her 81-year-old mother who has Alzheimer's and her 53-year-old brother who has autism and obsessive-compulsive disorder. MSN Money helped her sort out the legal and financial hurdles as there are laws prohibiting her from taking more than 50 percent of her brother's income. As it turns out, she must borrow $757 a month to support her family.

Because there's no mortgage on the family home, it's possible Laurie could tap the equity to pay bills and reduce debt. The problem is that the home is in her mother's name, and Laurie doesn't have the legal authority to access funds from the house.

Option 1: Have her mother draft a power of attorney, a document that would give Laurie the right to make financial decisions on her mom's behalf. But Alzheimer's disease might mean Laurie's mom doesn't have the mental capacity to give over those rights.

If that's the case, Laurie would have to seek guardianship of her mother, just as she did for her brother. That would cost her about $3,500 but would allow her to make financial decisions for her mother. She could then consider a home-equity loan or a home-equity line of credit.

A home-equity loan would give Laurie a lump-sum payment drawn from the family's equity in the house.

This is an ongoing theme close to my heart as my parents care for my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and it will be only a matter of time before my husband and I are in the same position. There also seems to be an affordable caregiving shortage in this country, as situations like this one of a Berkeley Parents Network writer are all too common:

I am wondering if anyone can suggest resources to help me figure a course of action for my mother who has dementia. She has been diagnosed with dementia in the last few years and the facility threatens to kick her out when she doesn't cooperate as they like. Our understanding when she bought into the facilty and they assessed her finances was that they would care for her for the rest of her life. Since she has been moved to assisted living several years ago her money has been spent more rapidly and she has about a year and a half left of funds. Can anyone recommend a lawyer (specializing in this sort of law) or some other resources to help me figure out if the facility has the right to evict her - they do not have a dementia ward and how we can care for her when her money is gone. I feel quite panic struck by what will happen when her money runs out.
Living with us in our 1000 sq ft house with 2 small children is not an option.
anon

Whew. I feel for this family. Right now my parents share a house with my grandmother and her sister who live upstairs. My grandmother's mental health is declining quite rapidly. While she is home alone during the day -- my parents work -- she can't cook nor can she go outside without getting lost. The other day, my mom dropped her off at a TJ Maxx while she went to the dentist and when she got back she found the store manager with a bewildered Latina customer who was translating what my confused grandmother was saying. My grandmother wanted to go home but did not know her own address. What a mess.

I will be seeing my family in a couple weeks, BTW. They are flying out from New Hampshire for Eli's birthday party, a welcome event especially for my parents.