I can't think of a better way to say this. I had a truly crappy Mother's Day this year.

I think Anna Jarvis would understand. Inspired by her own mother's life, she started a campaign in 1907 to recognize mothers for their contribution to society. She was successful in making Mother's Day a national holiday, but then spent the rest of her life fighting its commercial exploitation. She died in an asylum when she was 84.

A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world. And candy! You take a box to Mother—and then eat most of it yourself. A pretty sentiment. —Anna Jarvis

The New York Times reports on the results of a study by Finnish psychologists that found that if you (parent!) are burned out at work, then it's probable that your kids are burned out too.

The evidence that burnout runs in families comes from a study of 370 ninth graders from 11 schools in Finland as well as one or both of their parents. Researchers have developed measurement tools to assess the level of burnout in workers and students, with burnout defined as feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by work and school demands, feelings of cynicism about job and school work or feeling inadequate and powerless.

Interestingly, the link between parents and kids is strongest between mothers and daughters:

...a particularly strong association between work burnout in mothers and school burnout in their teen daughters.

Any MT-ers out there with teen daughters care to confirm or deny this association? What about tweens?

Of course, this is another one to blame on the recession...according to the study results, "family finances predicted a higher level of shared burnout among parents and teens."

Gotta go. I'm exhausted and feeling overwhelmed. Time to pick up the kids.

FYI: Work-out-of-home mothers, especially, should be careful not to burn out. CareerBuilder.com had an article about how working mothers are really feeling the pinch from the economic downturn because they are working more hours -- for no additional pay -- and are afraid of losing their jobs.

Then they come home and have to take care of children and a houseful of chores.

• Thirty percent of working moms whose companies have experienced layoffs in the previous 12 months are working longer hours than they used to.

• Fourteen percent of surveyed moms have taken second jobs during the last year to make ends meet.

• Combining family needs, financial woes and busy schedules, it shouldn't come as a surprise that 34 percent of moms admit to feeling burned out these days.

Here were some tips doled out by CareerBuilder:

I nodded in complete agreement with this Good Housekeeping article on how to avoid volunteer burnout.

Check out these statistics:

Volunteers' selfless efforts power America's schools, churches, and civic organizations, but many women eventually come to feel that, far from being meaningful and rewarding, their efforts to give back are exhausting and unappreciated — and maybe not even worth it. Women, especially working moms, are more likely than men to sign up (in 2007, 29.3 percent of women gave time to a cause, compared with 22.9 percent of men), but turnover is high for both sexes: 21.7 million Americans (nearly a third) who volunteered in 2006 didn't continue in 2007, reports the Corporation for National & Community Service (CNCS).

What goes wrong? "Many groups are like leaky buckets," says Robert Grimm, director of research for CNCS. "They can't keep volunteers, mainly because they don't use them very well. People show up to help with an event that's poorly organized, or they're given some trivial assignment. And they think, Why am I wasting my time?"

But part of the problem may lie with us. Sure, we want to make a difference, but many of us let ourselves become overcommitted. We may feel that we don't have the right to refuse a worthy organization, or it may just be hard to relinquish the belief that we're absolutely essential, speculates Anne Wilson Schaef, Ph.D., a former psychotherapist and the author of Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much. "Women really worry that without them, the rummage sale won't happen," she says.

After three years helping establish Ari's independent Spanish immersion school, my term on the board expires next month. I have never served on a board before so I was grateful for the valuable work experience in fundraising, media outreach and setting education policy -- particularly in bilingual education. But man, am I relieved to be done! I will not miss board meetings that run until 11 at night. I will not miss the number of committee assignments that required more meetings on my part. I will not miss the actual fundraising and writing press releases. At times it felt like a full-time unpaid job, but I felt that I could not walk away because the school was new and I really wanted the experience for my children.

As you all know, I had a career crisis about a month ago and inquired about becoming a nutritionist. After soul-searching on a trip and reading through your supportive comments -- which meant more to me than you will ever know! -- I decided to do...nothing.

I took inventory of my time and realized I have none. I am not willing to abandon MotherTalkers or cut into my time with my children. I did cut back on childcare for Eli, which means I am actually busier.

I spoke to several people about nutritional sciences and it sounds like I would have to go back to school for at least a Bachelor's to pass the exam, which is heavy on science. The only science I took as a journalism major at BU was geology. Ugh.

I haven't ruled it out in the future -- I am still intrigued -- but, realistically, I do not have the brain, time nor energy to study for biology and chemistry tests right now. Also, I am waiting for Eli to start school in another couple years, which will free me up a bit. I just don't have time.

So I am simplifying as much as I can. Starting over, you know?

Have you ever suffered from volunteer and/or mothering burnout? How did you deal?

I seem to have hit a wall being mommy. Not with being a mother, mind you, but being a "mommy".

If I never set foot in a park again, fine by me.
Mommy and Me programs - shoot me now.
I don't want to draw, paint, play cars, or kick a ball. (Well, maybe draw and paint, a little).
PB&J and apple slices on my person at all times, not to mention all the other obvious stuff - done.
A 6 message email exchange to set up one piddly playdate - times x - I. am. over. it.

You get the picture.

Here is a story for those of you with children undergoing the college admissions process: College applications are expected to peak next year so an increasing number of students are experiencing depression and other health problems related to stress, according to the Washington Post.

Oftentimes, the stress of the children are compounded by the expectations of their competitive parents, the Post reported.

Despite warnings by experts, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, which in 2006 issued a report about the perils of "pressure-filled intense preparation for a high-achieving adulthood," and a recent spate of popular books including "The Overachievers" (which focused on Bethesda, Maryland's Walt Whitman High School), there are few indications that high school students will face an altered landscape anytime soon.

Adolescent medicine specialists say that a primary cause of the apparent pervasiveness of this relentless activity is demographic: The number of applications to the nation's colleges is expected to peak with the class of 2009 and won't begin to decline for several more years. Although there is no precise definition of over-scheduling and little empirical research documenting its impact, pediatricians, psychologists and child psychiatrists say the problem is real.

They contend that some BlackBerry-tethered parents, who equate being constantly busy with being successful in their own lives, compete to see whose kids can cram in the most activities: pre-dawn swim practice, weekend travel soccer tournaments, elite ballet classes, Mandarin lessons, SAT tutoring sessions. Unstructured time, which experts say is essential to figuring out who one is and what one wants, tends to be regarded as laziness or being unproductive.

"Our definition of what makes a kid successful has become unbearably narrow," said California psychologist Madeline Levine, author of "The Price of Privilege," a 2006 book that documented the psychological fallout of unrealistic expectations and packed schedules on affluent teenagers.

The toxic combination of perfectionism and over-scheduling can lead to excesses such as those seen by University of Pennsylvania adolescent medicine specialist Kenneth Ginsburg, author of the AAP recommendations. Ginsburg said his patients have included a teenager who had started studying for the SATs at age 11 and high school students whose parents told them they "didn't need to bother to go to college" if they didn't get into either Harvard or Yale, schools that last year reported record-low acceptance rates hovering around 8 percent.

Wow, is this world just foreign to me. This is so much more intense than anything I saw at my high school -- and I went to a pretty good school. How are you moms with college-bound kids dealing with the pressure? Have your children heard back from colleges?

For Maya's first two birthdays, I threw not one, but two birthday parties each year-- one for our family in Southern California, and one for our friends living in Sacramento. Everyone told me I was insane, but I'm kind of a social animal, which runs in my family. I didn't mind doubling the fun.

This year, we're finally living in Southern California, so I teamed up with my mom (Maya's doting Abuelita) and we threw ourselves into planning a third birthday bonanza.  I took care of invites, decorations, party favors, and the cake. Mom cooked her booty off, making pozole and tacos to die for-- for 80 or so of our closest family and friends.

The skies were clear and sunny, everyone stuffed their faces and Maya pranced around the party in her poufy pink dress. She ate cake, whaled on her Pablo pinata and opened a mountain of presents.

The party was a resounding success and yet...I don't see another big party in our future for a while.

By the time we got to opening presents, we were all wiped out, including Maya. She opened present after present, hardly reacting. What she wanted most was to take one present and go play quietly with it, but she had to keep unwrapping. As for me, the day went by in a big confusing blur. At the end of it all, I took stock: I didn't take nearly as many pictures as I would have liked. I hardly ate any of my mom's delicious cooking. I didn't spend much time mingling with our many guests, and barely spoke two words to many of my friends. Heck, I didn't even enjoy a single alcoholic beverage!

So what the hell was I doing the whole time? Running, fetching, greeting, seating and soothing. As for my mom, she spent days on end chopping, simmering, mashing and frying, and her work continued all through the party. She was, naturally, exhausted.

It was a good run while it lasted, but next year, I am already envisioning an intimate affair with just grandparents and a few other couples with kids Maya's age. There will be cake and presents and Maya will still feel special. But there will be less chaos, less work, less STUFF.

And less will be good.

Have any of you suffered from Birthday Party Burnout? For you moms of older children, what have been the best birthday celebrations, and which have been the worst? Any tips or lessons learned? Please share!