Most recently, I heard this from another dad at the YMCA during my daughter's t-ball practice.  "She's not dating until she's 30, or until she meets a guy who's a better shot then me."  

I understand that this is not meant to be literal.  My husband has said it.  It's something I even hear from men with no children.  But accuse me of being anally PC if you will, it's not a line of humor I find particularly funny.  

It wasn't an appropriate setting for a philosophical argument, so I said jokingly "that means having a daughter at home until she dies.  Moping around in your basement, pasty, depressed..."
"That's fine!"