Tuesday Open Thread

Happy Tuesday!

I’ve got summer on my mind. This will be my first summer as a SAHM, and I am panicking a bit about keeping 6-year-old DD engaged and happy.

I have been looking at day camps, a private school summer program, and week-long mini camps sponsored by the city. I am hoping for variety and fun, but don’t want to burn her out. I also want plenty of wide open days so we can laze by the pool or head to the beach. How do you plan for summer? Any tips?

This is yet another example of just how different things were back in the day. I never attended summer school, camps, day camps or anything organized during the summer. I remember sleeping in, watching TV and occasionally running through a sprinkler. My parents sure didn’t spend time worrying about keeping me “engaged” and “active.” But here I am, plotting out my kid’s summer vacation more carefully than I planned my wedding (we eloped, in case you’re wondering :-)

What’s on your mind today? Chat away!

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Tuesday Morning Open Thread

What’s up?

I am sorry to start on such a sad note, but here is a letter that recently appeared in Michelle Singletary’s column, “The Color of Money”:

SAD CHRISTMAS
My husband and I both lost our jobs, have run through our savings and now face losing our home. I’m worried about celebrating Christmas on a zero budget with young children who do not understand why they will not be getting presents, and not feeling bitter because we both did everything right (our spending and saving habits would have made you proud) and now we have lost everything. It’s hard to start over at 41 and 43, and it may not even be possible.

MICHELLE SINGLETARY
I’m so sorry about your situation. And it would be easy for me to say suck it up and explain the kids how tough times are. I hope you have reached out to family, friends or any church, religious or community groups you belong to.

Now it not the time to be too prideful to ask for help in at least getting some gifts for the kids.

And as for yourself and your spouse, try to remember that even if you lose the house you still have your family.

Good food for thought. Thank you, Michelle Singletary.

In related news, MSN had an article on how more and more people are walking away from their mortgages. Their homes are underwater, and it doesn’t make sense for them to empty their savings accounts to only face foreclosure later on.  

MSN recently doled out 15 tips or “fun and inexpensive ways” for fathers to bond with their children. But I didn’t see why moms couldn’t do these activities, too.

The California chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW) is suing Hooters for catering to children, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.

What else is in the news? What’s up with you?

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Midday Coffee Break: Summer Fun Edition

Now that it’s late July, can we officially declare these the dog days of summer?

What are you doing to keep yourselves (and your kids) cool and entertained? This question is especially relevant for our little family, as two very special visitors arrive today: our 11-year-old niece and 15-year-old nephew are visiting us for the first time, and seeing California for the first time. SQUEEEEE!

So the pressure is on. While I’m sure they would be happy to just chill, we want to show them the time of their young lives, especially because they just suffered the tragic loss of their older brother. If we can help them forget their pain just momentarily, we will count the visit a success. And we want them to have so much fun that this visit will be an annual tradition, just like it was for our dear nephew Ben.

Here are a few possibilities (along with a few money-saving opportunities, for any of you SoCal residents):

1. Beach and/or Water Park. I can honestly say I’ve never been to a water park, but we happen to have one just a few minutes away. Plus, Wild Rivers is offering $5 off general admission tickets.

Here’s the rub: it is unseasonably cool in SoCal right now. I’m talking high 70s through next week. Not exactly let’s-peel-off-our-clothes-and-cool-off weather, if you know what I mean. So maybe we’ll just people-watch at Venice Beach instead…

2. Circus! Ringling Bros. is in town through Aug. 8th, and it has become a yearly tradition for our family. Maya LOVES the clowns, which puzzles me because I’ve always found them terrifying. Go fig.

Tickets start at $15 and you can get $4 off each one by using the code “MOM” at Ticketmaster.com. Not too shabby. But will a 15-year-old boy be drawn to the Big Top?

3. Orange County Fair. What could beat rides, neon lights and deep fried food? A colleague of mine at the OC Register compiled some money-saving tips. My favorite: all rides are $1 before 7 p.m. on Fridays. This just might be where we’re headed tonight :-)

Maya starts kindergarten on August 25th, so we’re really feeling like we’ve got to make these last few weeks fun for all of us. What are your favorite summer activities? How do you like to entertain out-of-town visitors? When all else fails, we tend to end up at In-N-Out. :-)

What else is on your mind today? Chat away!

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How to Keep Them Busy (and you sane)

As a former preschool teacher and fresh off my recent foray into teaching VBS (vacation bible school) I have a whole slew of activities for the three to six year old crowd. My 6 y.o still gets a big kick out of most of these activities and hopefully she will like them when she’s 7 too. But of course YMMV!


My main goal in any child activity is that s/he is able to do the activity with minimal adult supervision/interaction. I tell people I am fostering her independence, but the truth is I am super lazy. :)

Idea 1: Super-duper craft time! — I save tons of paper towel tubes, toilet tissue tubes, small cardboard boxes, oatmeal containers, pieces of yarn/ribbon, tape, glue/paste, rubber bands from produce. Dump all supplies on a preferably outdoor table or blanket in the yard with child safety scissors, place myself near by with a book or a laptop with wi-fi and let the kid go to town.

Idea 2: Rainy Days and Mondays — Sometimes weather or mood not permitting I will not go outside in the heat of the day. I run an inch or two of water in the tub and let the kid climb in with all their bath toys and a scrub brush and a generous slug of Mr. Bubble. Child can “clean” the toys, walls, their bodies whatever. Mom lays on floor or bed adjacent to tub area and reads a book. Slight variation: Spray a small amount of cheap foaming shaving cream on the walls and let them “finger paint”.

Idea 3: Sidewalk Fun — On any concrete or outdoor tile surfaces let kids loose with a variety of sizes of paint-brushes and cups of water. They can paint all over to their hearts content. Mom sits in a lawn chair near-by and reads a book. Slight variation: Kids can use sidewalk chalk instead and Mom reads a magazine.

Idea 4: Story time at the local library, or not. Sometimes we go to the children’s section during an “event” like story time or a puppet show (and memorably once a snake show), sometimes we just go hang out. My library has coloring pages and crayons available as well as all the, well, books. Mommy sits in the comfy armchair and reads… a children’s book! I read the entire Mary Poppins series this way, as well as some super awesome Zilpha Keatley Snyder’s I missed during my first childhood.

I am sure you all have your own cool ideas and I’d love to hear them!

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What Is Your Kid Into?

Because Eli likes to sing and dance, I recently looked into introductory dance classes for her. As it turns out, there is a group ballet class for 2 to 3-year-olds, which I hope she will attend.

But as I have done with Ari, if she chooses not to participate, or clearly doesn’t like it, I will withdraw her immediately. While I want my children to be exposed to extracurricular activities — something I wish I had had as a kid, but we did not have the money — I also don’t want them to spend their free time doing something they hate. I am fine with letting her sing and dance in her room to her heart’s content.

You could say I was perturbed by this essay in Brain, Child magazine about a mom who, like me, is fine with paying for music lessons even if her children do not excel in it. The idea is to expose them to activities they may enjoy and value as adults — not necessarily to raise the next Mozart or Mikhail Baryshnikov. Yet, here is the response she received from at least one mother:

Recently, another mother asked me what my endgame was for Henry’s violin playing. That was the word she used—endgame. I was stymied. I babbled some nonsense about the value of learning an instrument, but it wasn’t until later that I really thought about it. It’s clear he’s not going to be a famous soloist—the old joke about practice and Carnegie Hall is inapplicable. I never thought of an endgame. I’ve heard that our local high school and middle schools have decent music programs, and I’m pretty sure he’d enjoy playing in an orchestra.

“But what if he gives it up after high school?“ the endgame mother asked me. “Wouldn’t that bother you? All that money for lessons down the drain? All those years?“

After high school? I can’t possibly think that far ahead. What about the now?

Exactly. I would hate to think parents view all the recitals and concerts they attended as a waste of time and money. Considering, the Mozarts of the world are not even a dime a dozen, that is a lot of disappointment. Jeez.

Are your small children enrolled in structured activities? What are they? How did you decide upon that activity?

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Summertime!!!

With all due respect to MTers in colder climates, here in Florida, spring is a myth. We have a season we call winter (borrowed from the English) and then we have HOT. It is getting hot down here and invariably we start doing all of our cooking out of doors to keep a little bit of cool. Even if there are rumors of snow flurries in your neck of the woods, or you really do have a full season of pale green leaves and blossoming buds, can you think ahead to some of your favorite summertime recipes, traditions and past times?

Yesterday we went to a festival held in a cypress and mahogany hammock. (A hammock is what we call the woods I guess.) There were hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill, live bands were playing and there were free sno-cones! After the festival we went to our friends house for more grilling, lemonade, salads and carrots and celery with hummus, YUM! The kids played outside all day, while we parents lounged in some truly awesome hammocks and talked. If you have a better way to spend a day, I’d like to know about it!

What are you going to do with all this nice weather? How about when the kids are out of school? Do you hate summer? What are your tips and tricks for getting safely through the season?

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Boys and Girls Clubs Closing

This is sad. Four Boys and Girls Clubs in the Washington D.C. area are closing due to the recession, according to a story in the Washington Post.  

On the flipside, the closings are also a sign that children are in other extracurricular activities and not just hanging out in the streets, according to the Post. It sounds like the Boys and Girls Club is having an identity crisis like the Boy Scouts.

The Boys and Girls Clubs of Greater Washington, one of the region’s largest youth organizations with a long history of helping underprivileged children, will close four clubs, sell others and lay off one-sixth of its staff as part of a major restructuring to cope with a $7 million deficit, officials said yesterday.

The group’s budget woes are in part a result of the recession, which has cut into government and private donations. In addition, the region’s 22 Boys and Girls Clubs have experienced declines in membership as students abandoned civic organizations in favor of video games, competitive sports, music lessons and other activities.

The changes reflect a movement away from outdated gymnasiums toward more modern clubhouses with state-of-the-art game rooms and computer labs.

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Rookie Moms

Heather Gibbs Flett and Whitney Moss, the Berkeley moms behind the Rookie Moms blog, now have a book with 250 activities for first-time mothers and their babies.

In a recent book signing in Berkeley, they revealed their three favorite activities:

#1 Postpartum Yoga
#2 Movies, particularly “baby brigade” nights for the whole family.
#3 Go out just for dessert. Actually sit down and request a menu.

I actually went to a lot of the suggested places in the book as I thought I would go nuts staying indoors. With both my kids, I had to leave the house by day 5. I needed sunshine on my face.

I never shied away from taking Ari to the movies, nursing him quietly. I would go on strolls to the mall, the park — anywhere but home.

Also, I can vouch for the value of postpartum yoga. I was able to bring Ari and do specific exercises to get my abs back. A year after I had Ari, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight and my abs were close to normal. (I don’t remember as they are very flabby now!)

What other things would you do with your baby while on maternity leave?

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Let’s Keep Them Busy!

Everyday I work hard to keep DS busy. He’s a high-energy toddler and always on the move. Up until recently, our schedule was filled with things like music class, library story times, nursery school and play dates. As my belly swelled and his tantrum level kicked up a few notches, I scaled back our agenda. So now I needed to find new things to keep him occupied. This month’s issue of Parents magazine was a godsend. One of the featured articles is 100 ways to keep little kids happy. Thank you oh wise editors! It couldn’t have come at a better time.


Now I am not a mom that is afraid of messy stuff like painting or cooking together. Some of my fondest memories are of Jack smearing brownie batter all over him and our kitchen table. Its only brown batter, right? Messy? Yes. Fun for a toddler? You bet! A pain to clean up? Of course. But he had a blast that afternoon.

I loved some of the suggestions in the article such as opening a petting zoo with stuffed animals, camping out in the living room, listening to books on CD in the car, dancing on bubble wrap, and wiping down the kitchen. We actually did the wipe down the kitchen activity yesterday. I had to clean and I could tell he was bored. It is amazing how a spray bottle filled with water and a dishtowel will mesmerize a 2 yo. He happily sprayed the cabinets and wiped them dry. His little face beamed with pride when we were done “cleaning”.

A few of the suggestions were clearly geared toward older kids, but I plan to keep some of those stashed away for later use. One of my good friends actually has a rainy day activity box. Using a plastic take out food container from the craft store she filled it with little pieces of paper that each contain an activity. She pulls it out on rainy days and her son loves to be the one to choose the activity from the box.

There were a few suggestions on the list that I questioned. The author suggested dry erase markers for drawing on fitting room mirrors while mom is busy trying stuff on. For DS that would be a NIGHTMARE!! We’ll skip that one. And we’ll skip blowing bubble in the Dr’s office waiting area/or while shopping.

While I only have 2 years of doing this mommy thing under my belt, I have a few fun actives that weren’t included on this list.

  1. Styrofoam packing peanuts – ok, they are an environmental nightmare, but DS had a blast breaking them up into smaller pieces, putting them back into the small box from which they had come, counting them, etc. They kept him occupied for at least an hour. I also thought it would be fun to use them in an art project like glue them to construction paper and paint them. I also discovered that most of them would link together and make a chain. DS thought that was cool.
  1. Blowing bubbles in the bathtub – Great for cold or rainy days.
  1. Bathtub crayons – pain to clean, but DS LOVES them
  1. Making Pizza – we use store made crusts, I spoon on the sauce, he spreads it, he puts on the cheese (then proceeds to scrape the cheese and sauce off and eat them until they are gone and we start all over again…), then I bake.

OK, MTers, anyone out there want to share their favorite fun ways to keep toddlers busy? I’m always on the lookout for fun things to do.

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I’ll Put That on my Schedule.

I think I have discovered how children become over-scheduled. Their mothers don’t mean to overtax their children, or at least that’s not how it starts. Before my child care leave I was a fifth-grade teacher for four years. It was a highly demanding, but also rewarding job. I went out two weeks before I delivered. The first couple of days were fun but then I found myself twiddling my thumbs because all my friends and family were at work. I delivered my daughter in May and in the beginning was consumed with learning to be a mother. But after awhile I started to go stir crazy–you can only stay in your house for so long before it feels like a prison. When my husband and teacher friends went back to work in September I felt a little lost.


My saving grace was joining Stroller Strides and the Luna Moms Club. It gets me out of the house Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings and there are other moms to talk to about this crazy mothering business. Then I found a music class for babies on Tuesdays through my community parks and rec. When I joined Stroller Strides I got a coupon for MyGym (I’m not getting any perks for mentioning these organizations but I’m willing to put a decal on my car if they want to comp my memberships:) So I started my daughter on Wednesday afternoons and met some more cool moms and got invited to play dates. After that a friend of a friend invited me to join her book club so I could have some adult time. It took a couple months but now I have stuff to do! Now I actually look forward to Thursdays because I don’t have class and can choose to do nothing if I want.

This is a good balance for me now, but I recognize that as my daughter gets older I can’t let my fear of too much downtime interfere with her need not to be dragged around everyday. As a teacher I found it frustrating when a parent would complain that it was hard to complete homework with tennis, gymnastics, basket weaving, scouts, and interpretive dance after school. I definitely think its important for children to have extracurricular activities and ways to explore their interests, but there has to be some way to recognize when you’ve gone too far. Like maybe if your child has troubling recognizing her siblings or the family dog.

How have you handled balancing downtime with activities?

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