My daughter will be 13 in August, but unlike other kids her age, my daughter is very much 12 and in no rush to grow up. She hasn't asked to wear make-up, but will sport the raccoon eyes on the rare occasion.  She hasn't asked to date, but has mentioned "crushes" she has. She has a cell phone, but has NEVER gone over her minutes and it isn't permanently attached to her ear. I consider myself lucky...so far.

My daughter, however has friends that ARE in a rush to grow up. They're developing bodies and feelings that they don't know how to handle and are getting involved in relationships that are WAY OVER their heads. Take one of my daughters friends for example, who is a few months shy of her 13th birthday and has been with the same boy for 2 years. The boy controls her life. Not in the way a man can control a woman, but more than any boy should be able to control a girl.

When I was Karina's age, I wasn't allowed to date or even talk on the phone. Make-up? Forget about it! When I was 15 years old, I forgot I had lipstick on for picture day and freaked when I saw the pictures. How was I going to explain ruby lips to my parents?

I don't want my daughter to be as sheltered as I was, but I also don't want her to think that it's ok to be in a "relationship" and have a boy dictate how she's going to dress, who she can talk to and where she can go...like her friends "relationship".

Her friends relationship, and others like it scare me. I remember being 25 years old, unhappily married with a little girl and feeling stuck; unsure of how to get out. Now imagine being 13 and feeling stuck; unsure of how to get out. At 25, I didn't know who I was, or what I wanted. How could a 13 year old possibly know?

So I had a talk with Karina, who was very receptive to everything I had to say. I explained that a "boyfriend" or "relationship" at this age is a bad idea. I expressed my wish that she have several boys, who are friends and that if she liked a particular boy, group events would be arranged. I told her that I wanted her to have an idea of who she was, so that she never feels stuck and unable to get out.

So now I pose the question to you, fellow MT's...how young is too young to date? What's the appropriate age for serious dating? How old were YOU when you started dating? And, knowing what you know NOW, would you have wanted to start dating sooner or later?