REO Speedwagon's Kevin Cronin wrote a column for Newsweek about his son Paris's drug addiction. While Paris has been sober for two years, Cronin claims it was "tough love" and his son's own determination that helped him get back on track.

The turning point for me came one cold, dark winter's night, as my wife and I rested in the peaceful mountains of Ojai, Calif.

When the telephone rings at 1 a.m., it is rarely good news. The voice on the line that night was that of a fearful, obviously shaken Paris Cronin calling from the Burbank city lockup. My head pounded and my stomach sickened. He had been busted for possession of heroin, and would spend the next four nights in jail ... unless someone bailed him out. The thought of my son's sitting in a cell scared and alone, going through narcotics withdrawal, was unbearable. My immediate instinct was to drop everything and run to his aid. How could I leave him in such horrible circumstances? But a deeper part of me knew that if I really wanted to help my son, I must turn him down. When a parent is racked with guilt, it helps to have someone with a more detached perspective by one's side. One look into my wife's eyes reassured me that this heart-wrenching decision was the right one. It was time for some serious tough love.

Paris would survive the ordeal. But from that point on we would no longer enable him in any way. And after a five-year battle, complete with relapses, alienation, hitting his "bottom," a final trip to rehab, family therapy and sheer determination on his part, Paris is now a sober young man.

It has got to be so hard to see your child hit rock-bottom. I am sure it took a lot of restraint for this man with a lot of resources to withhold financial support, too.

What do you think? Have any of you dealt with addiction? What did you do to weather the relapses?

The U.S. Supreme Court will listen to a case this week whether the death penalty should be applied to heinous criminals who do not commit murder, or in this case, child rapists, according to Newsweek.

Patrick Kennedy was convicted in 2004 for the rape of a child, his 8-year-old stepdaughter, and the state of Louisiana contends that his crime is tantamount to murder and worthy of death. Nobody in this country has actually been executed for anything other than murder since 1964, although five states, including Louisiana, have laws on their books permitting capital punishment for the rape of young children. Several others are considering broadening their laws to do the same. So the court must determine, in Kennedy v. Louisiana, whether the Eighth Amendment's prohibition of cruel and unusual punishment bars the execution of someone who didn't commit a murder, but did violate a young child.

The article went on to say that executions are on the decline, hitting a 10-year low of 52 in 2006. In a Gallup poll, two-thirds of Americans said they support the death penalty for murderers, but slightly more supported life imprisonment for these criminals rather than capital punishment. Confidence in state executions have been shaken due to 127 exonerations and "pervasive evidence that racism still taints the capital-sentencing system," according to Newsweek's Dahlia Lithwick.

Lithwick contended the Supreme Court ruling could either extend the death penalty to rapists or help it see its  "last gasps."

I certainly hope it is the latter as there is no evidence that capital punishment deters crime, makes us safer, and there is always the small chance of executing the wrong person. That's not where I want my tax dollars spent, although I could certainly understand why the victim's family would want to mete out such revenge.

Newsweek's Kathleen Deveny recently wrote a funny confession of the lies she tells her children, including Santa Claus and this gem on the Eliot Spitzer scandal:

When my daughter asked me why it was embarrassing that former New York governor Eliot Spitzer was involved with a cowgirl ring, I didn't hesitate. "Bad lariat tricks," I explained. She looked a little confused, but let it drop. I know that I'm not supposed to lie to my kid, but I didn't feel like explaining prostitution to a 7-year-old.

Like all parents, she admitted it isn't the first whopper she's told her daughter. In her column, she examined when it was appropriate to lie to children, which made me cringe at some of things I've told my son, but validated my other fibs like Santa.

(Psychologist Alan) Hilfer assures me that Santa and the tooth fairy are not (necessarily) the stuff of future therapy sessions. Instead, they fuel kids' imaginations and make holidays more magical. Children long to believe in these stories, and parents like me are only too happy to accommodate them. Coaxing children to lie in order to spare someone's feelings—"tell Grandma you love the pair of socks she knitted for you even though they're really scratchy"—is also perfectly acceptable, according to the pros. In fact, the ability to understand these kinds of "pro-social" lies is a positive developmental milestone for children, according to Victoria Talwar, an assistant professor at Montreal's McGill University and an expert on children and lying. It shows they have developed empathy and have begun to understand that there is a world beyond them.

OTOH, experts disapproved of so-called "lies of convenience," like telling your four-year-old in the middle of a tantrum at Target that there's no money for another Transformer -- I don't know anything about this -- or calling Santa on his cell phone to tell him your four-year-old is misbehaving (again, not me).

Even though I think that what most parents lament about this particular white lie is that it can be employed effectively during only a few short months, it actually represents abdicating parental responsibility. "That's asking Santa to do your job," says Wendy Mogel, a child psychologist in Los Angeles. "That's asking Santa to do your job. Santa's job is to get down the chimney and eat the cookies. You have the courage to say 'no' to your own child."

The other lie of convenience Mogel disparaged was false praise. Praising every single one of your child's works takes away self-motivation, Mogel said. She recommended asking children about the process -- for example, why they chose the colors that they did for an art project -- rather than praise every single thing that they do.  

With so many charities, non-profit organizations, political candidates, family, friends and others asking him for money, billionaire Peter G. Peterson wrote an admirable column in Newsweek on how he plans to give away his fortune to tackle the country's most pressing political and economic problems. He simply wants today's children to have a shot at the American Dream as he and his Greek immigrant father had.

I have lived the American Dream—I went to college, worked in the corporate world, served in government and became an investment banker. And that led to a second turning point, on June 21, 2007, at 9:30 a.m. That was the day the Blackstone Group—a private-equity, asset-management and financial-advisory firm that I cofounded—went public. In an hour I became an instant billionaire.

What to do with so much money? I have much more than enough, and there seems little prospect that I can take it with me. So again I turn to my father's example. When he had built a modest net worth, he gave generously to his old home in Greece and to the less fortunate in his beloved new home. Tears would come to his eyes when he sang "God Bless America." He so loved America for its possibilities.

I believe today that those possibilities are shrinking, endangering the American Dream. Personal myopia, political cowardice, fiscal fantasy and journalistic neglect are all at work. So I have chosen to put much of my wealth ($1 billion over the next several years and much of my remaining estate) into a new foundation, one that I hope will explain the undeniable, unsustainable and yet politically untouchable long-term challenges we face. Headed by The Honorable David M. Walker, who served as the comptroller general of the United States from 1998 to 2008, the foundation will propose workable solutions and build up the public will to put them into effect. I cannot think of anything more important than trying in this way to preserve the possibilities of the American Dream for my children's and grandchildren's generations, and generations yet to come.

The three problems as he sees them are the aging of the baby boomers and unattainable costs of social security and Medicare, record trade deficits passed onto future generations, and our staggering health care costs, which offer neither the best services nor coverage.

These challenges all require sacrifice. That means everyone. We fat cats will have to pay more taxes. The government will have to spend less. Everyone will have to save more. I'm not sure if we remember how to give up something for the long-term general good. Nor do we hear calls for sacrifice from our leaders. Our lawmakers are enablers, either joining us in the state of denial or trying to anesthesize us. But if we can learn to face the future realistically, everyone will benefit from a more robust, sustainable economy.

Pointing out that the "Greatest Generation" overcame a depression, Peterson is confident that today's youth will find solutions to our most pressing problems. First, we need to educate them on what those challenges are.

In case you missed it, Newsweek had a cover story on surrogate mothers. It was balanced and offered a lot of new information such as the disproportionate number of surrogate mothers who are young, military wives. They have health insurance that covers the procedure. Also, surrogacy allows them to earn money and help someone.

Despite some people denouncing it as exploitive, it made me think the opposite: I would consider becoming a surrogate for my closest family or friends. Also, if I needed the additional income, I could think of many worse ways to make money than give this wonderful gift to another couple.

An Effed Up Story: This is unspeakably tragic. Despite his wife’s protestations, a Maryland courtroom ruled that a mentally ill man was entitled to see his children. The man in question, Mark Castillo, went to a hotel, drowned the couple’s three children and then tried – unsuccessfully – to kill himself, according to the Washington Post.

He is in custody now. But what troubled me about this story was his history of making threats to his wife, including killing the children. I think I would have skipped town before handing over my children to this man. I can’t imagine what is running through that poor woman’s head right now. Shudder.

What Patient Rights? I was dismayed at the personal conduct of the gynecologist mentioned in this reader’s letter to New York Times Magazine’s “The Ethicist” column. Her gynecologist has asked her to waive her right to sue in favor of a “binding arbitration to settle any potential disputes,” or the ob-gyn will not treat her. Here is why the practice is unethical, according to ethicist, Randy Cohen:

The law may allow it, and (except in an emergency) medical ethics permit doctors to choose their patients, but a doctor’s criteria for choosing are still subject to scrutiny. Your doctor has instituted a dismal policy that compels patients to surrender a basic legal right in order to receive medical care.

If a single physician were so skittish about malpractice suits (or so uncertain of her own skill) that she would see only patients who would forgo access to the courts, no problem: you could walk down the street to another practitioner.

But if all, or nearly all, doctors make the same demand, there’s nowhere else to go; a fundamental right is eradicated. Conduct that is merely inconvenient if pursued by a few people can become intolerable when widely adopted.

Universal healthcare anyone?

Last night my friend's daughter, who is a student at UC Berkeley, was nursing a cold and a couple broken toes. Seeing her sick and rundown made me think of my college days and shudder. "Man, am I glad I am not there anymore," I told her. Between working three jobs, studying full time and always, always, looking for money, I was constantly sick. Then there was the debt. Because my alma mater, Boston University, stopped taking credit cards for books, that left the children of working class families like me in a bind. I literally would go to the bank and ask how much cash I could get from my credit card. If it was $500 I would take the full $500. If it was $200, ditto. By the end of my four years, between my husband and I, we racked up at least $20,000 in credit card debt on top of student loans. We were literally working day jobs just to pay for rent and debt. It was miserable.

And it is endemic of our generation. As Newsweek writer Eve Conant pointed out, our generation "racks up debt the way our grandparents used to squirrel away pennies."

As talk of recession and belt-tightening makes headlines, I wonder where and how I lost my grandfather's sense of thrift. Like many young professionals (I'm 36), I embraced the lessons of my seniors about hard work. Yet my generation racks up debt the way our grandparents used to squirrel away pennies. A study by the Journal of Consumer Research to be released next month, titled "Tightwads and Spendthrifts," finds that people ages 18 to 40 are most likely to say they're spending beyond their comfort range. While my grandfather refused to take out a mortgage, I bought my first two-bedroom condo (in a marginal neighborhood) for $450,000 two years ago with 5 percent down and an interest-only loan for the next seven years (note to boss: please don't ever fire me). Though mired in debt, I still manage to sleep most nights. "Your generation has a completely different attitude about going into debt," says George Loewenstein, professor of economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon, who says the availability of cheaper goods, as well as Internet shopping and longer store hours, make it far easier to waste money. "It used to be that the simple opening and closing of store doors exerted some control on spending. That's all gone now," he says.

My generation grew up just as home-economics classes were being phased out and credit cards were being ushered in (the general-purpose credit card took off in the late '60s). Yet even though we're saddled with debt, I have heard more conversations about avoiding carbs than I've ever heard about hoarding bread crumbs. We discuss our sex lives more than our bills. How often do the words "frugal" or "thrifty" come up in conversation, especially as a compliment? The words have a distant ring of the 1930s to them.

As Conant rightfully pointed out, it is high time we make frugal chic. People in their 30s have not had to live through a recession and the consequences of not having a nest egg. Thankfully, the credit card debt from our college days is long gone, although we have a mortgage and student loans. But I am constantly harping on my youngest sister to live within her means and not rack up debt on the plastic. And to their credit, people are starting to tighten their belts. My friend's daughter is attending school and paying for living expenses on a scholarship. "I would not have attended this school if I had to go into debt," she told me. As for the overall economy, high-end stores like Tiffany are seeing slower sales growth and at WalMart, shoppers have been redeeming gift cards for basic necessities like toilet paper and food, and not flat screen TVs and iPods, according to Conant.

What do you think? Do you consider yourself a frugal person? How do you encourage your own children to live within their means?

Newsweek recently profiled the creative home business of a mom in Houston. Lori Pope, mom to 15-month-old twins, rents out toys for kids as old as five years old ala Netflix.

Before you have the same initial reaction I had, which was "eww" to drooled-on, used toys, she sterilizes and shrink-wraps all toys before mailing them out.

Lori Pope pulled some $250,000 out of the oilfield supply business she already owns to launch the Web start-up last fall. With a warehouse of 6,000 toys, BabyPlays.com offers various membership plans that allow parents to rent toys as long as they want, and then send them back for different toys. At $37 a month, the cheapest plan allows families to keep four toys at a time. The most expensive plan is $65 a month for 10 toys.

Pope shops for playthings she thinks are safe, stimulating and sturdy.

Even if she did not have the oilfield business, I would think her idea would not require that much in start-up costs. Lord knows she could have my kids' toys, which are enough to fill an aisle at the toy store! Like the mom who invented the restaurant high chair cover, this story made me think, "Why didn't I think of that?!" Good for her.

A recent story in Newsweek highlighted an unfortunate -- but predictable -- side effect of China's draconian one child policy: Many elderly people are alone and they have no one to care for them.

Family is the bedrock of Chinese society, at least in theory. But three decades of gut-wrenching change are testing those old bonds. More kids than ever are leaving their hometowns—even the country—in search of jobs. This generation is the first to grow up under the one-child policy, rolled out in 1979. They are "more likely to be spoiled and self-centered," says demographics expert Cai Feng. "As adults, children of this generation lack the inclination to support their parents." Forty-two percent of Chinese families in 2005 consisted of an old couple living alone, according to the National Bureau of Statistics.

That's causing even young parents to rethink the meaning of family in China. For centuries a healthy brood of boys was considered the best form of social security. That's still generally true in the countryside; farmers prefer sons who can work in the fields over a daughter whose earning potential—if any—is transferred to her husband's family. But in China's cities, many young couples now say they prize daughters over sons for their loyalty. "Urban couples all think girls are much better than boys. Girls are more thoughtful, especially towards their parents," says Feng Xiaotian, a sociology professor at Nanjing University who has conducted surveys of Chinese families. In a recent China Youth Daily poll, respondents who preferred a daughter (29 percent) edged out those who wanted a son (28.4 percent).

To avoid loneliness, or even worse, a nursing home -- still considered shameful in Chinese society -- many elderly Chinese are "adopting" adult women as their daughters. Young, wealthy urbanites are breaking the one-child policy by having more children and paying a fine. They are also having more children through loopholes in the policy such as bearing children in another country or saying that their older children are handicapped. In the most extreme cases, men are having children by different women.

The Chinese government has no safety net for so many elderly people so it is encouraging youth to take care of their parents. "The Education Ministry has supported a resurgence of Confucian studies, which promote respect for elders," the Newsweek article stated.

This topic resonates with me as I have always been conflicted by culture clash; the American ideal of rugged individualism and the more communal attitude I was raised with by a Latino family. Like the Chinese, there are deep cultural biases against nursing homes among Latinos. My grandmother, whose mental capacities worsen by the day due to Alzheimer's, lives with my parents.

But what do you do if you live far from your family? How should the Chinese deal with this aging crisis?

While it's no secret that the American wedding is a big-money-making industry, its average price tag is now approaching $30,000, according to a recent article in Newsweek.

Women are investing more than ever in cosmetic treatments from teeth whitening to botox and undergoing extreme diets, spawning a "wedding weight-loss industry," one nutritionist said.

Today's bride-to-be "wants everything to be perfect," says Heidi Allen, who owns the bridal boutique Weddings Heidi Style, in Ontario, Canada, and is a wedding planner on "Rich Bride, Poor Bride." "They want their hair, nails and makeup all professionally done. They want a beautiful dress. And I hear from their mothers that they are almost all obsessed with their weight." Many customers order their dresses a size or two smaller than what they currently wear, she says, because they're determined to be thinner by the big day. Some go much further than that. "I've had to send some brides who ordered a size 12 to get alternations to make their dress a size 20," Allen says. "Luckily, I know a seamstress who's a miracle worker. But it's absolutely ridiculous, the denial I see in the salon." Ironically, she says, it's often the women with the least to lose who lose the most. "A lot of thin girls get obsessed with being even thinner," she says, "and end up coming in for their fittings looking like a rack of bones."

Researcher Lori Neighbors, an assistant professor of nutrition at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, recently took a more scientific look at the relationship between looming nuptials and weight loss. In a study recently published in the journal Appetite, Neighbors followed the dieting patterns of 272 engaged women who were, on average, six months away from their wedding day. She and her co-author, Jeffrey Sobal, professor of nutrition at Cornell, found that 70 percent of them were trying to lose more than 20 pounds and another 20 percent were closely tracking their weight to ensure that they didn't gain anything. "People take their bodies on as projects, and one of the times you want that project to be the most successful is on your wedding day," says Sobal. The study found that most engaged women choose healthy ways to achieve their goals: they cut the junk from their diet and increase their exercise levels. But the researchers were distressed that more than 20 percent of the women they studied used methods they characterized as "extreme," including skipping meals, going on liquid diets, fasting, or taking laxatives or unprescribed diet pills and supplements. A small percentage even started smoking as a weight-loss strategy, while others began vomiting after meals. "With the current high prevalence of anorexia nervosa and bulimia, the pressure of a wedding is one thing that may trigger this kind of unhealthy behavior," says Sobal. (The National Eating Disorders Association estimates that as many as 10 million women and girls in the United States suffer from a serious eating disorder.)

As one bride in the article noted, her fiancé doesn't care what she looks like on their wedding day. So why do we women put ourselves through this torture? The wedding album, of course! BTW, the photo is of me getting some primping of my own by my MIL's hairdresser in El Salvador. We were married in El Salvador the Thanksgiving of 2000.

Besides watching my weight -- no dieting though -- and getting my hair and nails done, I did no other prep work for the big day. How about you all? How far would you go to look fabulous on your wedding day?

Newsweek's Anna Quindlen recently wrote an essay, which made me stop to savor the time with my two small children. Oftentimes, when we are stressed and exhausted, we forget that these little people do grow up -- and find their own way.

A friend whose children are just a little older than my own told me once that parents fool themselves, pulling away from the quad with an empty SUV and tears in their eyes, that sending a child to college constitutes the great separation. The real breach, she said, came after the car, full once more, left the quad with a mortarboard and a diploma tossed in the back seat.

During college there were those long winter breaks, the occasional weekend, the summers in which the high-school friends reappeared at the breakfast table, if pancakes at 1 p.m. counts as breakfast. But then, college over, real life began. The unfamiliar names of workplace acquaintances. The inconvenient or nonexistent holidays that come with the bottom rungs of the employment ladder. The tiny apartment in the new neighborhood. The frying pan...

First they are helpless. The rocking, the burping, the bathing, the nursing. The endless nursing. And then they learn to use a spoon, and then a knife, and chopsticks, and the oven, and a panini press. I don't believe food is love, precisely, but I believe everything looks better in the morning if there are eggs Benedict. I learned to cook from my mother, me at the stove, her in a wheelchair, when I was doing a college year abroad in the country of chemo. Her message was pretty clear: a full plate is what you will need to survive...

First they are in your arms constantly, so that your joints go stiff and your back aches. Then they hold your hand, then tolerate an arm around the shoulder, then shrug and pull away. And finally there's that hug that always seems to vibrate with the adrenaline of near-escape. They recede into the distance, leaving vapor trails of memory and dinner for two, a culinary trick I cannot master. After my mother died we had a housekeeper who had been the house mother at a fraternity; she made smothered chicken and pork chops with onions and pepper steak in quantities so enormous that it looked as though Congress was expected to drop by. I merely make enough food for eight, which is what I always did when I was cooking for five. It is a good thing my husband likes leftovers.

Chris still comes for dinner sometimes, for the kinds of meals you can't make in a frying pan: beef stew, short ribs, spaghetti and meatballs. He eats the way you eat when you've been cooking for yourself, with a sigh and a smile. His room upstairs has not changed much, except that it echoes because some of the furniture is gone, and sometimes he goes up there to see if there's anything he's forgotten. But eventually he stands and says, "I think I'm going home now." How would he know how that feels to me? First the cradle, then the crib, the big-boy bed, the posters on the wall, the prom pictures on the desk. And then the U-Haul and the tiny kitchen with the lone pan. His home now is elsewhere.

This piece left me in tears. I love Anna Quindlen! I thought I would share...

Newsweek ran a trend story about ivy league schools lowering tuition and giving out generous financial aid to middle class families. As the experts in the article noted, these institutions ran the risk of taking in only two types of students: those whose families could pay full tuition and everyone else who was forced to take out student loans to obtain an education.

But now that these schools are poised to take in more middle class families, state schools and second and third-tier private colleges will lose their smartest students. Nonetheless, there is a college crunch for the children of baby boomers and less money, overall, for young people to study.

Sex Toys Allowed in Texas: (Editor's Note: This item was corrected.) I did not know this, but a Texas court struck down the state's ban against dildos and "pocket pussies" on, of all days, Valentine's Day, according to Slate. Virginia, Alabama and Mississippi also ban the sex toys.

Phasing Out Plastic Bags: Whole Foods plans to stop bagging in plastic on Earth Day, April 22, according to the Washington Post. It will become the first American grocery store to phase out plastic bags.  

Patrick Swayze Has Cancer: Actor Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer, according to USA Today. While it appears that he is responding to treatment, this bit of news left this Dirty Dancing fan crestfallen.

Update On J-Lo's Babies: It is official. Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony did have twins, a boy and a girl, according to People magazine. As expected, they named them Max and Emme.

The new parents welcomed their son and daughter on Feb. 22. Emme was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and Max followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs.

Don’t gag, but the florescent green mankini made famous by Borat (see pictured), is popular enough that New Zealand police have banned it at a rugby tournament. But what's most disturbing about this story is fans are actually p.o.-ed!

And don’t think the mankini's allure is limited to the Kiwis. John Mayer was recently spotted wearing one on a cruise ship. Ick.

New MotherTalkers Editors: We have added some "new" bylines to the roster. Please welcome Melissa (aka “lilianna28”), Melinda (aka "parentalunit1"), MaggieFrances and Sue in Queens to the front page!

Vibrators at Walgreens: Have you noticed anything different about your local drugstore? Apparently, the big drugstore chains -- CVS, Rite Aid and Walgreens -- are carrying "sexual health" products like lubricants, massage oils and vibrators, according to a story in Newsweek. Considering I spend most of time in the baby aisle, I have not seen them.

Newsweek's headline was funny, too: "Price Check In Aisle Sex."

What else is on your minds, MotherTalkers? Have a good weekend all!