As I mentioned in Dana's Mother's Day thread below, Markos and Eli have been in El Salvador with Markos's grandmother who is gravely ill. They spent this weekend with her and will be coming home tonight.

I was reminded how much I miss them when advance copies of Markos's new book, Taking On The System: Rules For Radical Change In A Digital Era, arrived in the mail. Please allow me a hokey moment. I've only read one chapter as I spent too much time reading the acknowledgements and telling people about it. He dedicated the book to me and the kids and gave us two whole paragraphs in the acknowledgements section! Completely unexpected. I love that man.

Thank you for letting me gush. Now onto the serious political stuff: We have six more contests left and Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are expected to win three each. Probably most importantly, the Democratic National Committee is meeting on May 31 to determine the fate of Michigan and Florida's pledged delegates. I am wondering if we want open threads for some or all of these events? I have noticed that they have died somewhat, so I will poll your preferences. Thanks!

What's up with you?

When I got pregnant, my only close friend who had already been through pregnancy and birth was Elisa. She gave me a trove of books, including "What to Expect When You're Expecting," which has been the ubiquitous pregnancy book for more than two decades.

With almost 15 million copies in print, I figured this would be my go-to guide. But soon after cracking it open, I decided I hated the book. I found it alarmist and tone-deaf; far from reassuring me, it made me worry about ridiculous things. And their dietary recommendations? Are you freaking kidding me?

This article explored the book's genesis and evolution, including some of the complaints:

Despite the huge success, mothers like to debate the book's advice on message boards, and mock titles have emerged such as "What to Freak Out About When You're Expecting." On urbanbaby.com one can still find references to the book's warnings, toned down in later editions, that common fetal hiccups could signal a severe umbilical cord problem and that oral sex on a woman could in rare cases cause a fatal embolism.

Turns out author Heidi Murkoff has heeded the criticism and revamped the book, inside and out. Check the new cover: gone is the mousy woman in the rocking chair. She's been replaced by a hip mama decked out in designer jeans, high-heeled boots and a form-fitting blouse:

This new edition, largely rewritten, is a chance to present a version that's "more reassuring, more positive, more empathetic than ever," its author says.

But the revamping raises a larger question: Can this iconic tome ever be as relevant as it once was? Can any book? When "What to Expect" was launched in 1984, it was the only thing of its kind out there — a guide written not by doctors but by women, for women.

Now there are lots of others. But there's also the big wide Web world out there, and it's not just all those sites offering medical information. This is the age of the message board, where a woman who has a strange ache or pain at 3 a.m. can fire off a cyber-question: "Late-night cramps at 5 months pg, dh asleep, what do i do?" Answers come within moments.

"It's this whole new community," says Susan Kane, editor in chief of Parenting magazine. "Women are starting to trust one another and not listen to the experts so much."

Murkoff has adjusted to this new reality as well, launching WhatToExpect.com three years ago. Apparently it's wildly popular, with 1.7 million page views per month, second only to BabyCenter.

What do you all think? Did you love or hate "What to Expect"? Would you give the revised version a second chance? Do you appreciate the hip new cover mom? And would you still turn to old-fashioned pregnancy books in this age of instant feedback on the Internet?

I grew up with very twisted views on sex. In fact, I've discussed them here before, and SWORE that I would be open and honest with my kids about whatever topic they wished to discuss. I'm happy to report that so far, so good.  We've discussed the appropriate names for body parts, what their functions are, what changes they were to expect during puberty, and what having sex means. Easy enough...or so I thought.

Last week, Cristian asked me "What does masturbate mean?" Um...how the hell was I suppose to answer that?!?!?

Well, I managed to get my hands on a copy of the book, "What's Love Got To Do With It, Talking With Your Kids About Sex" by John Chirban, Ph.D., Th.D. and let me tell ya, it has been a life saver. I haven't read it cover-to-cover, but have used it sort of like a Bible of "uncomfortable subjects". I use the appendix on topics that are relevant to me and my kids.

So, how did the book advise on answering difficult questions?

To help you move forward, you may want to ask your child a few questions. Start by asking what led him to the question. Ask him if he has any ideas about the answer. You want to avoid answering a question that's not acutally being asked, thereby overwhelming or misleading your child.

So, I asked Cristian, "Where did you hear that word?"
He answered, "It's one of my spelling words."

Huh??

"Let me see the list. OH!! M-A-T-U-R-A-T-E!!

I was SO relieved. I dodged that bullet...this time.

So, I wanted to see what Dr. Chirban had to say about Masturbation:

The ability to distinguish between private thoughts and actions, sexual secrets, appropriate bounderies, and inappropriate acts develops over time. It's especially difficult when sexual images and information bombard our kids left and right. If we are to strengthen their confidence and minimize confusion and unnecessary guilt, it is imperative that we as parents provide information to help children sort things out. For example, even if you don't have a problem with the idea that your child may masturbate you may want to inform him or her that some people masturbate and others don't - or that some maturbate at one period of their lives and not in others. You should also explain that although masturbation is a private way of experiencing sexuality, privacy doesn't mean that it has to be a secret or that it's wrong; rather, privacy is merely respecting one's own boundaries and those of others.

This book tackles everything in an honest, heartfelt, open, and sometimes funny way; and now that Karina is 13, and entering that period in her life where boys are no longer "yucky", I'm guessing that my book is going to get a heck of a lot of mileage!

So, when the going gets tough, this mother leans on her fellow MT's, or reaches for this book on her bookshelf!!  :)

Have you had to answer difficult questions about sex? If you haven't yet, how are you preparing for that inevitable day?