Sorry to inundate you with so many items from the Berkeley Parents Network newsletter. But it really is interesting and helpful -- and conducive to some of the discussion here.

Work-life balance is something we discuss a lot here. What do you deem "enough time" for your children? Check out this letter:

I have a very socially demanding almost 3-year old. She wants non-stop conversation, and it wears me out. She receives a LOT of attention, from my partner (who is a stay at home mom), from her preschool teacher (she goes to preschool 18 hours a week), and from me (I spend time with her before work as well as from 6:30-9:00pm weekdays and all day weekends), yet it is never enough. We have two other children who aren't as demanding (and who sleep more) who also need attention, and it would be great for my mental health (and for my partner's) to get some time to myself/ourselves (which we never do). And the less attention the almost 3 year old gets, the more she acts out. We're willing to put limits on her, but I'm not sure where the limits should be. What is the balance between putting my kids first and keeping my sanity? I feel guilty for time I have ''free'' that I'm not spending with my kids, yet I often end up resentful. (I should note that I love spending time with them, but as an introvert I also love time to myself.) So I ask you, kind advisors, how much time do you think the working parent should spend with his or her children each week, and how much time does the working parent actually spend with your children (if you could note how many children you have that would be helpful)?
-introvert parent of an extrovert

I feel this writer's pain. Eli is already 13 months old and her daily 6 a.m. wake up call has gotten tiresome. She still doesn't walk, but demands to hold my hand and walk around the house. Sometimes for an hour. If I don't comply? Watch out! Zero to three is rough -- at least it is for me.

Nonetheless, I do take time for myself even if it's for only an hour so I can work out. My husband usually takes the kids on a walk and I repay the favor so he can get alone time, too. I figure as long as we eat together as a family in the evenings -- when we can, meaning DH is not gone on a business trip -- and the quality of the time with the kids is interactive, quantity is not the be-all, end-all. What do you think? How do you break up your time between work, kids and personal downtime?

God I love the soap opera that is Berkeley Parents Network. Remember that letter I published last week about the husband who had an affair that resulted in a pregnancy? The wronged wife wrote BPN, wondering how they could fit the child into their lives.

Well, the responses have started trickling in...

i believe G. Getty had a secret family. i hope you are VERY wealthy. you found out a few weeks ago? um, this is a lifetime commitment. i am an optimist but this sounds disastrous unless you and hubby and the other mom are the coolest folks on earth. when our relationships are rocked we all seek an explanation. in my humble opinion you are in the denial phase. consider your needs as you work through this.

This is EXACTLY what I thought when I first read her letter! She sounded way too calm, as if she were numb and in denial. Here are more responses:

I admire you, for your selfless perspective, thinking first  about the baby and the families' futures. From your letter, however, it seems that your husband and his mistress are as concerned to keep their relationship as the baby. Be wary of this! But for the baby, what should be decided first is for him or her to live in a single family, preferably with a two-parent family. One of the following needs to be decided: whether you and your husband adopt the baby, or whether the mistress (assuming she's single) gives the baby up for adoption to another family. If you adopt the baby, it is the birth mother that will be driving the long distances for occasional visits. Either way your husband will need legal recognition as father. You have already decided that you and your husband should not divorce - presumably because there are other children that should not live without a two parent family. You have already done the right thing for your children, and hopefully your emtional strength will help your husband's child as well!

I completely agree with this writer:

I'm sorry to hear about your story. I also realize you are asking for advice on how to make this work. I kept on thinking and realized there's no way for this to work and let me tell you why: your husband has a pattern of cheating and there is a pattern of you forgiving him. You even say you are not too caught up in the affair right now. He's going to therapy bc. he's scared of what's ahead. But my gut feeling is that once he gets out of his shock he will go back to his old ways. The woman is in another city; he had an affair with her two years ago and again a few weeks ago. How do you know he won't cheat on you again when he goes there in the future? Why have 'they' decided to keep the child without asking you, the wife and mother of his current child? If the woman is pregnant that means he didn't use protection: he didn't mind putting you at risk of getting a disease, he didn't mind that by putting you, and himself, at risk, your child might end up with sick parents...or no parents at all. How are you going to explain to your child what happened and how are you going to explain you condoning that? We judge people by their actions, not their words. And, up to now, his actions tell you he's very likely to cheat on you again and maybe get someone else pregnant. What will you do then? I honestly do not judge you bc. I believe that for you to put up with something like and allow him to do that to your child it must be bc. you are scared to be on your own. I'm hoping it's not that he makes a lot of money and you don't want to lose your current position. I am divorced myself and it's scary but it's very possible and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. If he's willing to be responsible, then he will support your child after you divorce him; if not, then he will not be responsible while you are married to him either. I worry bc. this is not a new thing: he consistently cheated in the past: it's not shock that's making you forgive him. Have you considered doing some therapy? Do you have family, friends in the area? I feel really bad for you but a million times worse for your child. Pls, sit down calmly and with as much hope as you can think of and think of yourself, but MAINLY, of your child: you have to; he's obviously not thinking of either of you. I trully wish you good luck and the strenght to do what's right for your child and yourself.
It takes strenght

I grew up with a lot of machismo and saw many wronged wives suffering in silence. This husband put his wife at risk and has clearly shown what he thinks of her. Where is this woman's pride? Grow some cojones and move on, mujer!

Yet another stay-at-home mom asked Berkeley Parents Network that million dollar question: Where is the part-time work?

While I expected everyone to unilaterally respond with a "join the club" shrug -- and one fellow SAHM did -- there were some great and helpful suggestions:

Yes! Nursing has worked great for me. I have a LVN licence and work 20 hours per week. If you have any interest in health care it is a great way to go. And in high demand.
Mary

Have you thought about substitute teaching? I know many people are scared to do it because of their own childhood memories involving abusing subs. I did it for 3 years, and I found it to be the easiest, most flexible, and least stressful job I've ever done. You only take jobs when you feel like it, and since it's now all done through an automated phone system, you don't even need to talk to a person when you select jobs. You only accept the jobs you want on the days you want. If you market yourself successfully, you become the regular sub for some sweet and easy classrooms. Give it a try - You don't even need to ''quit'' if you don't like it, you simply stop accepting jobs.
anon

I have worked in Human Resources and recruiting for years. I would apply for any jobs that seem interesting to you, even if they are advertised as full time. If they are impressed with you, they might hire you for hours that suit you., or might allow you to work part time from home. Another thought...Craigs list has part time listings, contractual listings, occasional listings etc. which might help you ease back into work slowly. There are lots of firms that hire people for market research work and you usually have a choice of dates and times in which to work. Don't limit yourself....go for what looks good even if if seems that part time might not be an option. Companies will flex for the right candidate...
Recruitment specialist

One dad of teenagers reminded the mother that she already has a "real job;" that perhaps she was looking for other opportunities on top of her current position.

So, my advice (you asked), think about what you want to do for ''other'' work in addition to the ''job'' you already have. Acknowledge that a ''real job'' provides satisfaction in other ways: intellectual challenge, camaraderie, monetary gain... and so does your current job as a mom. Then, attempt to integrate all this into your life. Start your own business, seek job sharing in a progressive company....
~ former corporate geek enjoying life as a carpenter

What other advice would give this mother looking for part-time work options?

The death toll in Burma after a vicious cyclone hit the country this past weekend could reach 60,000, the number of people reported dead or missing, according to the Washington Post.

Because the country is headed by an incompetent, despotic regime, the people are not easily receiving aid. MoveOn.org passed around a link to donate to Burmese monks, who in turn, have been giving food and shelter to the country's poorest people.

These People Scare Me: I was recently perusing the responses to New York Times Magazine's green edition, when I came across this gem:

(Michael) Pollan asserts as self-evident that a small carbon footprint is always a moral good. But suppose a child is very sick and the nearest hospital is 50 miles away. You can ride a horse and the child might die, or take a helicopter and ensure the child lives. In that case, using more fossil fuel is clearly a moral good. Offering this same sort of choice, if played out less dramatically, is why the green movement may fail.

Pollan is asking for human beings to deliberately make their own lives harsher, duller, perhaps even shorter for the sake of an abstraction. Whatever your belief in the merits of cutting carbon emissions, it’s easy to see why this neo-Romantic argument may not win many converts.

Especially inane, though, is Wendell Berry’s suggestion that “specialization” has been bad for humanity. Division of labor has allowed man to rise from savannas and caves to cities, to feed multitudes and to cure deadly disease. Specialization is precisely what will produce the experts who will ultimately figure out how to make cheap energy without fossil fuels. That process, not some Arcadian fantasy that all humanity will voluntarily regress to a semi-industrial state, is the way to a cleaner world.

HAMPTON STEVENS

Kansas City, Kan.

Okay.

Other Strange Encounters: Here is another one of those quirky Berkeley Parents Network letters, although I bet this woman's situation is not as uncommon as we'd like to think:

My husband recently had a one night stand with a woman with whom he previously (about 2 years ago) had a longer-term affair. The one night stand resulted in a pregnancy, and they've decided to keep the baby. The woman lives in another city so he will be parenting from afar - we also have a child together. We started marriage counseling a couple of weeks ago and, at least right now, we both think we'd like to stay together. We definitely have issues outside of this one that we need to work on, and are both committed to doing so. I'm honestly not that hung up on the affair at this point - it's the realization that there will be another child in his life, with another woman, and that child will likely be incorporated into our family in some way, shape, and form in the future. Plus, the fact that the child will be in another city means he will probably spend time away from us, which is hard to handle. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? This is all very fresh and new and I know my feelings will change over time (because they already have a million times in about 3 weeks!) but I need a little long-term perspective on how this situation might ever really work...thanks!
anon

Whew. This woman sounded remarkably calm for what her husband did. Can't wait for the responses...

Leaving Foster Care: The Washington Post followed around this remarkable young woman as she was leaving the foster care system. At 21-years-old, Marie Willis is learning to live on her own, and is handling it with such aplomb.

What else is in the news? What is on your minds today? Have a good weekend all!

While I did not see the original letter, based on the online backlash I can more or less guess what the reader had asked. One of my favorite online forums, Berkeley Parents Network, recently ran a (rightfully) overwhelming visceral reaction to a mother who wanted to send her three-year-old to a boarding school in India. Hands down, a dozen or so readers said a three-year-old was too young to travel across the world alone and be separated from his parents.

I'm going to assume that there are some cultural differences in this question (meaning you are from another country where this does not seem odd). I have know asian couples who have sent their young infants to live w/ grandparents in their home country for long amounts of time and although I personally would never consider this since my personal values are more based in Western norms, it is hard not to pass judgment on your question. If I understand correctly, you want to send a 3 year old overseas by themselves to a boarding school w/ strangers (not family). I'm unclear what kind of fabulous school this may be that a 3 year old would benefit in any way from this experience and to what advantage or need this would serve. I cannot imagine a scenario where this is a good idea for a child this young unless they were an orphan without a loving family to raise them and they need to be in some type of group institution to meet their basic needs like food and shelter. Otherwise I think this is a ridiculous idea. Your child will not understand being sent away. I wouldn't recommend this for a child who was younger than a teen and then only if they really wanted to go.
Not a good idea

Crazy. Then again, I have never understood the concept of boarding school, especially since I grew up in a Latino family where we all lived on top of each other. I couldn't imagine being separated from my parents so young!

Have any of you gone to boarding school? Would you consider it for your own children? Shed some light for this clueless MTer.

What else is on your minds, MotherTalkers?

Here is one of those odd Berkeley Parents Network letters. In this case, a mom, who happens to work in the environmental field, does not want to bring a second child into the world because of environmental degradation. (Join the club!)

I'm the mom of an absolutely adorable 18-month-old and love almost every minute of being a mom. Lately my husband and I have been thinking about having a 2nd child but I am torn about having another one for the following reason: I am absolutely terrified about the future. I work in the environmental field (educating others about climate change) and every day get bombarded with news about melting ice caps, scarce resources, water shortages, etc. I simply feel like it would be irresponsible to bring another child into this world knowing that their future could quite possibly be rather miserable. I didn't had these thoughts quite so much when planning to have my first child, but now have been obsessively thinking about whether or not to have another one. Of course I would love to adopt another but that's easier said than done (and my husband is not as excited about the adoption alternative as I am). My question is: is anybody else out there as terrified as I am about the future, and thinking about not having other children because of this?
worried about the future

May I suggest a different job?

J/K! Certainly, this is something that crosses every parent's mind. Never mind the environment, but I am also worried about crime and poverty, which will only increase with environmental concerns. But what I tell myself is we need people who can address these issues, which is why I am trying my best to raise problem solvers.

On a happier note, the cosmetic surgery industry has taken a hit in the recession, according to Slate. Hopefully, this will make us a little less neurotic about our looks.

What's up with you? Have a good weekend all!

Thankfully, this is an area I have no personal experience, but a recent writer to Berkeley Parents Network sought advice on how to explain her family's history of depression and suicide to her daughters.

My husband and I both have a family history of depression and suicide. My older brother (age 19), my husband's mother (age 42), and my grandfather--long before I was born--(50-ish?) all took their own lives. Our daughters, ages 6 and 10, don't know about this yet. They have asked questions from time to time about my brother's death (they have seen his pictures) and my husband's mother (they love his father's current wife, their Grandma). So far, we have only explained that they died from illness, and didn't go any further than that. How and when do we explain suicide to our daughters? I should mention that our daughters are both adopted, so our family's mental illness is not part of their health history. Our 10-year-old daughter in particularly is extremely sensitive, and doesn't like to hear sad and painful stories. But we don't want to keep "secrets" (my own family did that when my brother died, telling lies--and asking us to tell lies--about his death to all our close relatives and friends, including many of my siblings who did not find out for years). My grandfather's suicide was always a secret, and would have remained a secret -- until one of my siblings found a death certificate with suspicious language. What do you think -- when is the right time, and how to talk about it?
--Still grieving after 35 years

The BPN moderator offered a link to a previous discussion and the advice seemed sound. Most people who responded recommended the mother seek professional advice on how to broach the topic with her children and help them cope with both the information and possible mental illness. All of them said she should tell her children who may blame themselves for the death of a loved one or, when they are older, feel resentful for being left in the dark. Also, secrecy only intensifies the stigma of suicide, at least one reader said.

I know this is a sensitive topic, but what pieces of advice would you offer this mother? At what age is it appropriate to tell a child?

Recently I mailed in my re-enrollment form and deposit for Ari to attend a third year of preschool. While some parents of Ari's classmates his age, 4, have decided to put their children in kindergarten -- the same private school, BTW -- my husband and I were adamant that he be at least five years old to attend elementary school. My husband, who graduated high school at 17, said he was miserable being the youngest guy in junior high and high school and always swore he would never subject his own children to the same "torture."

Initially, I was neutral on the topic, but after listening to my husband and other young (male) high school graduates, I wanted to avoid this scenario played out by a recent letter writer to Berkeley Parents Network:

There is a possibility that my child might need to repeat third grade. He is very young in his class, had some neurological issues as a toddler, and has been struggling to keep up this year, despite extra tutoring. The ''experts'' feel he would benefit from another year of third grade to let his brain mature and catch up to his classmates before the jump up to 4th grade. We are very torn up about the decision, even thinking of transferring him to another school (where he would repeat third grade) but wouldn't have to face teasing from classmates. We just don't know the best thing to do and how to help him feel okay about this. Has anyone here held a kid back as late as third grade (I know lots of kids who've repeated kindergarten and first grade)and how did it work out? I'm worried my kid will feel devastated and never regain his confidence. He's overall happy, easygoing, flexible and I think he'll make new friends easily but still, I'm worried about the psychological aspects to retention at this age vs. continuing to struggle in school.
Worried Parent

Wow. I do think parents should do what they think is best for their children and do not begrudge families who want their children to advance academically. But I do not get the rush to skip grades. The kid has the rest of his life to hold down a job and adult responsibilities.

What do you think, MotherTalkers? Do you believe in skipping grades or the other extreme, "red-shirting" (holding them back)? Have any of you had experiences with repeating a grade? What would you do if you were in this mom's position?

For the record: In a recent story about sex education, I mentioned that Sen. Hillary Clinton "has received the endorsement of all the women’s rights groups, including NOW and NARAL." Actually, NARAL has not endorsed anyone for president giving equal credence to the candidacies of Sen. Clinton and Sen. Barack Obama. They both received a 100 percent rating from the organization on their pro-choice stances. Sorry about the error!

The Truth About Racial Disparities: There is still ongoing buzz about Obama's uplifting speech on race, but the non-partisan think tank, the Urban Institute, actually released stats on racial disparities in the country:

• Housing discrimination against blacks persists today, although it dropped significantly during the 1990s. For example, in 2000, black homebuyers experienced discrimination 17 percent of the time they asked about homes advertised for sale, down from 29 percent in 1989. And black renters faced discrimination in 22 percent of their inquiries, down from 26 percent a decade earlier.
• Blacks are much more likely than whites to live in high-poverty neighborhoods. In the Washington, D.C., region, for example, blacks were more than twice as likely as whites to live in high-poverty neighborhoods in 2003.
• Minority neighborhoods, even in the suburbs, generally have lower house values than comparable white neighborhoods, which means a lower property tax base to fund public schools and more limited opportunities for wealth accumulation from rising home values.
• Residential segregation distances minority jobseekers from areas of employment growth and opportunity. Although many minorities now live in the suburbs, these generally are not the neighborhoods that offer the most promising job prospects.
• In Washington, D.C., blacks were considerably more likely to get a subprime home purchase loan than whites (15.4 percent vs. 1.8 percent) in 2004. Rates for subprime refinancing loans were also higher for blacks than whites (17.3 percent vs. 3.2 percent).
• In 2006, the national median household income was $48,201. Broken down by race, the median income was $52,423 for whites and $31,969 for blacks.

Puzzling BPN Letter: Here is one of those unusual Berkeley Parents Network letters:

My brother-in-law's wife, who is 34 years-old, just found out that she was adopted. She's angry and confused and, unfortunately, her mom, who is her adopted mom, and my mother-in-law, are telling her not to vent to her bio mother. Her adopted mom is now announcing to the world that her daughter is now her ''adopted'' daughter, which simply pains me greatly as I see this woman is so much pain. I'm wondering if there's any book any one can recommend that I can give to her. She of course will need to go to therapy to deal with her issues but if anyone can offer any other sort of advice that would be great. I don't want to be another one in the way but I would love to help her in any way I can but I just don't know how. I simply hate seeing her in so much pain.
anon

At 34, this woman is only a few years older than me. I can't imagine not being told of your adoptive status in the '80s and '90s. Does this sort of thing still happen?

What else is in the news? Have a good weekend all!

I said and thought a lot of things. But probably the most cliché of them all was that young children who “acted up” did so because of bad parenting. I did not realize that temper tantrums, shyness around strangers, and asking 200 questions in five minutes eventually came with that 8-pound bundle of joy.

Now, I can easily tune out even the worst tantrums no matter how close to me. And I think it will be only a matter of time before this mom, recently mentioned in Berkeley Parents Network’s advice column, will arrive at the same conclusion:

A few days ago I was speaking to another Mom who had just returned from a morning of volunteering at her daughter's preschool co-op. In the conversation she frequently labeled kids as 'bullies' or 'bad kids.' The conversation was really disturbing to me because I really didn't like hearing so many negative things about other people's children. And, I really hate kids being given labels at this age (3, 4 &5) that they may never outgrow if they are called it enough. Is there any gentle and polite way to suggest that these kids may need her empathy rather than her criticizing? Or, am I just being naive to assume that most kids at this age are probably going through a 'phase' or have some issues at home that they are processing in a less than positive way?

My world view is generally that most 3, 4 and 5 year olds having a naughty moment (or six months for that matter) are acting out in some way (age appropriate phase) or their behavior is reflecting something that isn't happy at home. I don't look at a three-year-old who has bitten my child and say 'wow...that kid is a bully and some day will end up in Supermax.' I am not saying that I like that my child was bitten, but nor do I think of the biter as a 'bully.' If a four-year-old tells my child that they aren't my child's friend anymore, then I don't think of him as a bad kid or a bully. I think that he is having a frustrating moment.

I guess what I am asking is 1) do you consider it appropriate to discuss other people's children after a playdate or in a volunteering situation. 2) Am I naive to think that most kids termed 'agressive' and 'bullies' before their sixth birthday are actually kids who are just working through a phase of their feelings? 3) If I am not naive, then is there a nice way to tell people who are labeling kids to stop it and be nice?
-just a parent...

Just give this woman time and reality will set in. LOL!

On a more serious note, I would ask this woman something like, “How do you know this child is a bully and not simply acting like a preschooler? It seems rather harsh to label a child that young.” And if she insists that her own child is perfect, like I said, I would let time -- reality -- bite her in the ass.

My mother used to volunteer a lot at my K-8 Catholic School, allowing us to study for free. When I was in elementary school, I loved seeing my mom on school grounds and would go up to her, even as she shooed me back in line. But by 6th or 7th grade, my eye-rolling teenaged self thought, can mom please get a job somewhere else? LOL!

While most mothers were very active at the school, I do not know how work-outside-the-home mothers and fathers felt about it. I was intrigued by this letter on Berkeley Parents Network and wondered if any of you share this concern:

I am just curious about other parent's reactions to the level of parent involvement in the public school classrooms. My child's teacher allows parents to come in to the classroom on a daily basis for hours a day. It is about half of the mothers, which gives it an overall look of a coop, and yet it is not. It is a traditional public school. Parents who don't work spend the day in the kids' classroom, passing out pencils and books. I have to say, I am a bit put off by it. I feel like there is a real potential for favoritism and unequal treatment between the children of working moms and stay-at-home-moms. I don't feel comfortable discussing it with the teacher or principal because I feel my child could be put at risk of being excluded. I do appreciate the support and good work of the parents who volunteer, but can't shake my discomfort as I feel that the parents are not respecting the kids' boundaries. When I was a kid, parents did not spend time in the classroom. Bake sales and PTA -- yes, classroom -- no. Also, a practice in teaching was that a teacher's child was often put in a different school or class so that the kid wouldn't misbehave and would have room to grow. With that reasoning, are the volunteers disrupting the balance of power in the classrooms? Would love some feedback.
Anon

I have been eagerly awaiting responses for over a week now, but I have not seen any. Perhaps most parents -- working or not -- simply do not share this concern.

I do know that parental involvement has often been cited as a factor in student achievement; that parents who donate time and/or money really enrich the experience for all students.

But I have at least one friend who teaches in the Berkeley public school system who has complained about overzealous and competitive parents constantly questioning everything she does and stepping on her toes. And while I did see some classrooms filled with volunteering mothers -- no fathers -- I did not think this was the norm and in fact, the school principals would brag about parental involvement since this really is a good thing.

I myself tend to volunteer outside the classroom -- I think this is my strength --  but moms in the classroom do not bother me unless they disrupt the class. Ari’s teacher actually politely pushes parents out the door at 8:45 a.m. since lingering parents tend to freak out kids this age. If one child starts crying, they all start crying.

I am curious as to what your take is on mothers in the classroom. Do you think this letter writer was a tad sensitive? Did she have a point? How do you help out your own children’s schools?

Once again, Berkeley Parents Network ran a couple letters seeking career advice. I will run them here, too:

I am a credentialed preschool teacher with an AA degree. I have worked for the same wonderful preschool for 7 years and love my job. However, I am realizing that financially, being a preschool teacher is difficult. The poor pay-scale of the child care field is becoming an issue as my partner and I are raising our own family and making ends meet in the Bay Area on a preschool teacher's salary is very stressful (my partner also works, but it would help our situation greatly if my salary were more than 30K per year). I am wondering if I should go back to school (this will be financially difficult for my family, but could be worth it if I will make more money with a BS or BA). Or, perhaps there is a career counselor who would know how to transition from being a preschool teacher to something fulfilling that pays more (or is this impossible with only an AA degree)? Has anyone out there made such a transition? Any suggestions are appreciated.
Possible Career Switcher

People who responded recommended seeing a career counselor. (I agree.) One person linked to a government website with information on teaching, including requirements and salaries. Another former preschool teacher listed other possible careers:

I am a former preschool teacher. I loved my work, but was also not making enough money. For my birthday a few years ago, my mother paid for career counseling with Toni Littlestone, who is in the Albany/Berkeley area. I was so confused and conflicted, I really needed coaching, advice, and help, so I went to see Toni and worked out a new life plan. We started with assessment, and I learned so much. One thing I learned is that I am somewhat a physical type of person, and someone who likes to help people. I like to go on hikes, do yoga, and work in my garden. Moving around with the preschool kids worked well for me, and jobs in an office sounded like torture. I know my choice would not be for everyone, but I decided to re-train as an aesthetician and hair stylist. At first, I had value judgments about that, but in the career counseling process, Toni helped me explore my deeper needs and values, not just my snap judgments about people's career status in the world. Now, I make well over $60,000 a year, cut hair for all ages (including kids), do facials, scalp massages, etc, love talking with all my clients, and truly enjoy my work. I could make more money, but I prefer to work only four days a week. I go to trainings and conferences, and like learning new things. I also explored becoming a lab technician, a physical therapy assistant, a baker, a labor and delivery nurse, a child life specialist, and a children's librarian. All those careers sounded good, too. The choice was hard, but I am happy. After my mom paid for all those sessions with Toni, I have to give her haircuts and facials for life, but that's no problem! Good luck with your search.
happy with my career path

As another letter writer pointed out, it is sad that a nanny, who requires no job training, makes more money than a preschool teacher -- at least in the Bay Area. When are we going to bring more respect to traditionally “women’s” work?

In a separate, but similar letter, a SAHM wondered what she could do to work from home:

Hello there~~

I'm the mother of 21 month-old twins and have just recenty gone back to work as a teacher. I thought I would like getting a break from the kids, but just the opposite is true! Does anyone out there have suggestions for working at home? I'm sure most parents are in my position-- once you have the baby life changes and you want to be there for as much time as you can especially in the begining. I've also come down with ulcerative colits since the boys were born which can make even leaving the bathroom hard some days. I have to work at something to bring in at least $2000/month. I've thought of taking in another child, but that doesn't pay much, I'd have to take in several and that feels like a lot with the twins already!
Any suggestions?
Thanks~~
Jennifer

That’s the million-dollar question, Jennifer. What say you, MotherTalkers?