Because Eli likes to sing and dance, I recently looked into introductory dance classes for her. As it turns out, there is a group ballet class for 2 to 3-year-olds, which I hope she will attend.

But as I have done with Ari, if she chooses not to participate, or clearly doesn't like it, I will withdraw her immediately. While I want my children to be exposed to extracurricular activities -- something I wish I had had as a kid, but we did not have the money -- I also don't want them to spend their free time doing something they hate. I am fine with letting her sing and dance in her room to her heart's content.

You could say I was perturbed by this essay in Brain, Child magazine about a mom who, like me, is fine with paying for music lessons even if her children do not excel in it. The idea is to expose them to activities they may enjoy and value as adults -- not necessarily to raise the next Mozart or Mikhail Baryshnikov. Yet, here is the response she received from at least one mother:

Recently, another mother asked me what my endgame was for Henry’s violin playing. That was the word she used—endgame. I was stymied. I babbled some nonsense about the value of learning an instrument, but it wasn’t until later that I really thought about it. It’s clear he’s not going to be a famous soloist—the old joke about practice and Carnegie Hall is inapplicable. I never thought of an endgame. I’ve heard that our local high school and middle schools have decent music programs, and I’m pretty sure he’d enjoy playing in an orchestra.

“But what if he gives it up after high school?” the endgame mother asked me. “Wouldn’t that bother you? All that money for lessons down the drain? All those years?”

After high school? I can't possibly think that far ahead. What about the now?

Exactly. I would hate to think parents view all the recitals and concerts they attended as a waste of time and money. Considering, the Mozarts of the world are not even a dime a dozen, that is a lot of disappointment. Jeez.

Are your small children enrolled in structured activities? What are they? How did you decide upon that activity?