The Mamasource newsletter of Berkeley recently ran a thread about a first-time blended family adjusting to life together.

Here is the original letter posted by a mother of 4:

Ok so here is my delima. I have a step-daughter that can get away with anything with her father. She is 12, still sitts in her father's lap, still calls him "daddy" whenever he leaves the room, she is following him, asking where he went, hangs on him when we go shopping, very annoying behavior..and he devulges such personal information to her that I dont believe a 12 yr old needs to know. It has gotten to the point that I dont even want her to come out to visit us. My husband also treates my son who is 14 (his step son) with so much disrespect. He does not treat them the same. He gives his daughter all these privileges while my son is restricted to the same things..I have spoken to him about all these problems and he just says..."ok, dear". I am thinking I made the wrong decision to marry him, we havent been married 1 yr yet. He is isn't really open to getting marriage counseling either..What else should I do? Oh and 1 more thing. The girls mother talks "trash" about me and my son, and my husband does nothing about it.

The responses ranged from leave his ass to "establish a good relationship" with your stepdaughter. Have any of you been in this situation? How did you make sure all the children felt part of the new family?