So, yes, I confess to pushing my tomboy ways on my daughter.  I attribute a lot of my strengths to being a tomboy--I don't have body image issues, for one.  But primarily I just had an irrational hatred of all things girly girly.  Pink was BANNED at both of my showers.  I deliberately shopped in the boys section for cute clothes, especially for career-decorated clothes like little bear astronauts (since all the girl clothes had flowers and hearts on them, puke).  I send her to day care in jeans and sweats and rough and tumble clothes.  The one time she came home from being babysat with polish on her toenails made me vaguely nauseous.  (That could have been the morning sickness though.)

Disney Princesses in particular embodies everything I hate about girly girlness.  Perhaps the perfect marketing packaging adds to my hatred, but I have strong reactions to the sight of Belle, Aurora and Jasmine.  Makes my skin crawl.  MIL has been pushing the girly girl from the day DD was born, leading to some wonderful arguments between me and DH, and awkward phone conversations between him and MIL.  I have fought her with all my might on this.

Well, it was all for naught.  I have been defeated by a three year old.  

This morning, my daughter ran away from me as I tried to convince her to put on her formerly beloved Elmo panties.  As we stood in the kitchen, I tried to convince her to put on the panties, she shook her head NO and said "Don't want it!  Want Ariel panties!"  Given the typical toddler pronunciation mangling, it took me a minute to even figure out what she had said.  As soon as I realized what she was saying, I literally screamed out loud, and put my hands on my head.  Oh. my. god.  She wants Disney Princess underwear!  Once I expelled the demons in my head, I calmly and reasonably point out that we don't have any Ariel, or any princess for that matter, underwear.  To which DD says "In my purse!"

The Dora purse she carries to day care every day.  The Dora purse that should have been the final sign that I had lost the battle, because in the store I offered DD the choice of a Dora baseball hat and the Dora purse, and she picked the purse.  Sure enough, I look in her purse, and there is indeed Disney princess underwear in there!  Its Aurora, not Ariel, but really who cares?  The more pressing question, of course, is WHERE THE HELL DID SHE GET THIS HORRID CONTRABAND???

That would be from Jasmeen, her little friend at daycare.  Who is wearing a tiara and princess skirt EVERY SINGLE DAY when we get to school.  I still don't really understand the logistics of how Jasmeen got Aurora undies out of her bin and put them in my daughter's purse, but life is full of eternal mysteries.  Jasmeen seems to have inordinate influence on my daughter.  DD came home from school wearing her new shoes about a month ago calling them her "princess shoes" and insisted on only wearing those shoes for weeks straight.  We don't watch Princess shows; we don't even watch Dora, we watch Diego, the Backyardigans, and Kai-lan (a tomboy if ever there was one, yay!).  So she has to be picking up the princess fascination at school.

How do you explain not following the pack and blazing your own trail to a 3yo?  How do you teach her to question gender stereotypes?  You don't.  You look at your naked toddler, and then at the clock which is telling you you are running ridiculously behind, and you open the city of Paris to the invading hordes.  You take the nice, clean princess underwear and let DD wear them, and then get her dressed.  You explain to her in the car that this is the only pair of princess panties she has, so she has to be really good about going on the potty or she'll have to wear the Elmo panties instead.  (And then you hang your head in shame when DD brightly explains from the backseat that Mommy can go to the store and buy more princess panties, because you know you've instilled this rampant consumerism in her.)  And then, when she's NOT careful, and she's peed all over your couch after a long day at work, you solemnly promise her that if she will JUST START USING THE POTTY, you will go to the store and buy her lots and lots of princess panties.

Call me Marshal Petain.

So, I have a girly girl.  a girl who always wants to wear skirts instead of pants, and wants to be a princess.  I need to sit down and seriously examine my assumptions and biases about girly girlness, and figure out why exactly I think it's so bad.  WHY do the Disney Princesses bother me so much??  Especially when the fact that Ryan at daycare wears Spiderman clothes every single day doesn't bother me in the slightest.  What's the difference, really?  Why do I think its okay to gender stereotype the boys and not the girls?  If this new baby is a boy, am I going to go out of my way to dress him in pink and flowers just because I resent the fashion edict that boys must like lizards?  No, or course not.  My husband would kill me, for one thing.  So, it looks like I have a double standard.  Not good.  It takes a toddler to make me realize this.  God, I hate the thought of admitting this to my MIL.

I'll just have to hire someone to teach her about makeup.