Mother Talkers

Do Kids Bring Happiness?

Wed Mar 05, 2008 at 04:18:18 PM PDT

Here's some crazy crap for you: According to a new documentary film making its way through politically conservative circles, there's an ominous decline in childbirth rates around the world such that if we all don't start procreating fast, armageddon is surely afoot. The movie is called "Demographic Winter: Decline of the Human Family." This is from the promo web site:

Almost all of the developed countries of the world are now experiencing fertility rates far below replacement levels. Birthrates have fallen so low that even immigration cannot replace declining populations, and this migration is sapping strength from developing countries, the fertility rates for many of which are now falling at a faster pace than did those of the developed countries.

According to the film makers, this decline in human reproduction will lead to failed economies and social mayhem.

Huh? Whatever, I'm not in least bit concerned about this. But I write about it here because of a discussion it raised on this post on Reason Magazine.

The Reason writer wonders if the reason people aren't having more kids is because parenting ain't all that much fun.

Demographic Winter asserts that "every aspect of modernity works against family life and in favor of singleness and small families or voluntary childlessness." And surely they are right. Modern societies offer people many other satisfactions and choices outside of the family. In particular women find that their time becomes more highly valued in occupations outside the home.

In light of this children have become "consumption items to be enjoyed for their own sakes, more akin to sculptures, paintings, or theatre," he says. "But that's just the problem—according to happiness researchers, people don't really enjoy rearing children."

 

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"Economists have modeled the impact of many variables on people's overall happiness and have consistently found that children have only a small impact. A small negative impact," reports Harvard psychologist and happiness researcher Daniel Gilbert. In addition, the more children a person has the less happy they are. According to Gilbert, researchers have found that people derive more satisfaction from eating, exercising, shopping, napping, or watching television than taking care of their kids. "Indeed, looking after the kids appears to be only slightly more pleasant than doing housework," asserts Gilbert in his bestselling, Stumbling on Happiness (2006).

I think we're comparing apples and oranges here. Shopping? Napping? Watching television? These are not activities that compare with raising children. Raising kids is work. Those other things are leisure.

And anyway, not everyone agrees that raising kids breeds misery. The author notes that in a 2007 Pew Research Center survey people insisted that their relationships with their kids are of the greatest importance to their personal happiness and fulfillment.

Am I happy every minute of the day? Nope. But at the end of the day, when the kids are asleep and I've gotten a chance to watch some TV and veg out, I always turn to my husband and start telling him about all the funny, amazing, ridiculous things our children did that day. And in those moments, I'm pretty damn happy.

What do you think? Are you happy being a parent?

Cross-posted at Fussbucket

Tags: parenting, happiness and parenting, Demographic Winter (all tags)

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