Supreme Lunacy
Mon Mar 19, 2007 at 11:25:04 PM PDT
The case that the Supreme Court debated today must have really strained the justices' sense of dignity and/or the muscles required to retain a straight face.
Somewhere in Alaska, a public high school aspired to be a photo-op stop on the trail of the Olympic torch. Just as the torch runner was about to sprint regally down the street bordering the campus, high school senior Joseph Frederick unfurled a home-made banner that read "Bong Hits 4 Jesus." Funny + stupid = prank.
That's right. Bong Hits 4 Jesus. Now, imagine, if you will, each of the robed justices uttering this phrase.
I can't imagine how or why this case ended up in the Supreme Court. What happened to the prankster is what would happen to any prankster at pretty much any high school. The principal got pissed, tore the sign down, and suspended the senior for ten days. That's what makes a prank a prank – the risk of getting caught, the thrill of pissing off the authorities, the status that comes from getting in trouble.
Unfortunately, this case has morphed into something much greater, with the two sides digging in to unreasonable extremes. Added to that are national organizations aligning themselves with the extreme, untenable positions.
The National School Boards Association, siding with Juneau officials, says administrators should have expansive latitude to stop messages related to subjects such as drugs, guns, homosexuality and abortion. On Frederick's side are an unusual contingent of liberal groups, including the Lambda Legal Defense Fund, and conservatives, including the Alliance Defense Fund — all worried that credible student views will be censored.
I hate to see this prank made into a free speech vs. censorship issue. I also hate to see this made into a War on Drugs issue. It's neither! Kenneth Starr (remember him?) is urging the Supreme Court to let public schools ban signs, buttons or other messages that undercut their anti-drug policy. Even if this was reasonable, it would be impossible because youth slang for drugs is prodigious, sly, and constantly changing.
Equally impossible and unreasonable is to take away a principal's right to discipline pranksters. Having worked in a high school, I know that there would be some unfortunate consequences to teenagers believing that a principle could not take disciplinary action against them if they chose to monkeywrench a school event.
Frederick should have taken his punishment like the generations of proud pranksters before him. This should have never ended up in court. It's a joke.
