DH has had 2 hernia surgeries in the 8 years I’ve known him...both abdominal.  Then, a few months ago, he began to feel a familiar bulge and pain in his lower abdomen.  Yup, another hernia.  So he had to schedule some time off from work and set up a surgery.  

So, he goes in on  Friday morning (6 am, you bastards!), and is out of surgery  around noon.  He’s a total wuss when it comes to anesthesia, so he’s out of it almost the whole day.  Today, he’s suffering (and being a little bit of a baby since at this point after my Cesarian section I was walking around in downtown Berkeley, carrying my daughter and trying to clean house for my obnoxious lin-laws) as well.  

The problem is that I’m 32 weeks pregnant, have dislocated my hip TWICE in the last 2 weeks and can barely move.  However, now I‘ve got him to tend to, my 2 year old to amuse, the house to unpack and laundry to do (made all the more a bigger job since I’m going through pants at a rate of 3 a day (peeing on them...damn pregnancy!)) so I don’t trip over crap in the middle of the night and die.  It’s ALL on me, and I’m on the verge of getting shunted to bedrest anyway because of my hip.

So, how does this work for everyone else?  Do other people just suffer like I’m getting to?  Are there people to hire?  Dh’s folks work (thank God) and my mom won’t come up 400 miles to help out (and he POS she’s married to wouldn’t have it, anyway).  I just don’t understand what other options there are than sleep deprivation and pain (if any).  We do have a roommate (my younger brother), but he’s got no experience with kids, can’t unpack for me, and is trying to find a job, so he’s busy himself.  He’s done all I could expect (and more, really...emptying baby-crap filled potties is WAY out of his range of responsibility)..but I know this is wearing on him.

Then, to add to all the surgery fun, there’s the issue of time off.  DH’s got only 6 hours of sick time left (DD’s surgery ate a LOT of it) but has 65 hours of vacation time stored up.  The company won’t let him use it since it’s "vacation" time and has to approved before use, so he’s supposed to go back to work on Monday morning, even though his discharge papers say 7-10 days before a return to work.  On the one hand, if the hospital had told him this before, he may have been able to get a "vacation" approved, but on the other hand, WTF?  He’s not adult enough to be allowed to use his earned time off to heal from surgery?

::sigh::  They’re going to love it when they find out that he’s taking 4 weeks FMLA leave off when DS is born, huh?

The other big issue in my life is my (and DH’s) worry over my C-section.  I am trying to have a VBAC this time, but can’t be induced  (not safe) and am not supposed to go past my due date.  However, my midwife won’t let me schedule my c-section (in case I don’t go on my own) because she’s afraid that doesn’t encourage positive thinking, and the OB in charge of the birth center has said she’ll let me go over to 41.5 weeks before she’ll do a section.  So, my choices are either to give birth, via scheduled section, on Dec 3rd, or wait and see what happens?  I’m half tempted to just schedule the thing so I can know when he’s coming and avoid the drama of "hoping" for labor, but on the other hand, I really want to birth my son (I feel like my daughter was just sort of ripped bodily from me).  Just thinking about doing the whole hospital, waiting, being ignored thing again makes me either angry or terrified (or both, on the fun days) and sends me into near anxiety attacks (which doesn’t go well with being the only ambulatory person in my house).

So, at my 34 week appointment, I’m going to try to talk the midwife into scheduling a section on 12/17 for me (2 days past due) so that I can breath easy knowing he’ll be thereby then, and then talk to my doula friends (still haven’t found one to hire, dammit, and the most promising one hasn’t gotten back to me) about "natural methods" for inducing labor, which I’m going to start trying, in earnest, at 36 or 37 weeks.

Thoughts, tips?