Finding What Motivates My Inner Party Planner
Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 08:46:08 AM PDT
Editor's note: A timely topic for me, as we threw a 2nd birthday party for my daughter on Saturday...a simple affair with homecooked Mexican food, soda, beer, cake and lots of Elmo decorations. Of course, my family is huge, so we had to feed about 80 people...God bless my hard-working mom! -Erika
When I was growing up birthday parties were simple. (Well, honestly, I never had a birthday party. I was born on Christmas Eve. But that's another story.) I went to other people's birthday parties. I remember only cake and games. No fancy decorations, no gift bags, no one spent what they spend these days.
For my son's first birthday I did what I thought was normal. Cake, food, fun, relaxed. Boy, did I feel inferior over the next year when we went to other parties! So then I tried to do the same. I rented out a facility, I had gift bags, we had structured games. It was stressful and expensive.
Today in a local newspaper I saw an article about this group formed to help parents bring birthday parties back to the basics. I know that some parents really enjoy the process of throwing a really extravagant party. Not me. I, for one, will welcome this change if more people jump on board.
The truth is that it's not just birthday parties. The Mommy Wars run through every parenting choice: everything from designer tags on equipment and clothes to your choice of pediatrician. As they get older, it seems to get worse. I know that we've discussed this before and that there was a recent article in Brain, Child about it but the war of the birthday parties really got me going.
I recently attended a party for a 7-year-old girl. I know her parents well and I know that they have been having serious money issues. I've been very worried about them and have been trying to learn from their situation and scale back my own spending. The party was over the top. As we were driving home, my husband even commented that the party was a statement to the other parents. The children certainly didn't notice. I had to wonder if the other parents were impressed.
So, MTs, are you an over the top party planner? Do you do it because you truly love to plan parties? For some other reason? Are you doing it to keep up with or to outdo the other party planners? I, for one, have decided to take stock in why I have participated and only do what I enjoy at future events.
