Mother Talkers

Monday Open Thread

by Elisa

Mon May 12, 2008 at 06:05:59 AM PDT

As I mentioned in Dana's Mother's Day thread below, Markos and Eli have been in El Salvador with Markos's grandmother who is gravely ill. They spent this weekend with her and will be coming home tonight.

I was reminded how much I miss them when advance copies of Markos's new book, Taking On The System: Rules For Radical Change In A Digital Era, arrived in the mail. Please allow me a hokey moment. I've only read one chapter as I spent too much time reading the acknowledgements and telling people about it. He dedicated the book to me and the kids and gave us two whole paragraphs in the acknowledgements section! Completely unexpected. I love that man.

Thank you for letting me gush. Now onto the serious political stuff: We have six more contests left and Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are expected to win three each. Probably most importantly, the Democratic National Committee is meeting on May 31 to determine the fate of Michigan and Florida's pledged delegates. I am wondering if we want open threads for some or all of these events? I have noticed that they have died somewhat, so I will poll your preferences. Thanks!

What's up with you?

  • ::
Poll

Do you want more primary open threads?

53%21 votes
43%17 votes
2%1 votes

| 39 votes | Vote | Results

Tags: open thread, Taking On The System, book, acknowledgements (all tags)

Permalink | 38 comments

  • Sweet (0 / 0)

    Aw, that is so sweet!  He seems like quite a romantic guy.

    by NJmom on Mon May 12, 2008 at 06:25:02 AM PDT

  • So sweet (0 / 0)

    Wow, Markos took off to El Salvador with the baby by himself?! That's cool in itself. Then, to hear about the book dedication ... wow again!!! :) I'm so glad you found him.

    I'm sorry, though, to hear about his grandmother. How is she doing now, have you heard?

    by Kay on Mon May 12, 2008 at 07:31:44 AM PDT

  • I Voted "Some" (0 / 0)

    ...meaning, if there are particular controversies or highlights.

    I am sorry to hear about Markos's grandmother.  

    http://www.tacomamama.com

    by jenyum on Mon May 12, 2008 at 08:06:30 AM PDT

  • I'm a junkie so bring them on :-) (0 / 0)

    Even if I don't post in all the open threads, I lurk around all of them.

    It's a shame that we think it is so amazing that a dad would travel over seas with his 1 year old alone, but...hey...that IS pretty awesome that he took Eli to meet her great grandma. I am sorry it was to say good byes though.

    Sounds like the book dedication was a pretty nice Mother's Day gift for you. I can't wait to read it!

    Trees, Flowers & Birds SanDiegoDem on all other blogs!

    by Christina on Mon May 12, 2008 at 08:33:42 AM PDT

    • Traveling w/a 1 year old (0 / 0)

      It's a shame that we think it is so amazing that a dad would travel over seas with his 1 year old alone

      Hey, I'd be pretty impressed with myself if I did that alone!  Nothing to do with his being a dad, but traveling with very young children is kind of an ordeal.

      Katherine

      by pat of butter in a sea of grits on Mon May 12, 2008 at 10:16:52 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • Sometimes, American culture makes me mad. (0 / 0)

    I've got a friend here who had a baby 5 weeks ago, unplanned c-section. She's had rotten luck, because it got extremely badly infected, and she spent the last week in hospital, and while she's home now, she still has a shunt in draining into a bag. It needs removed Wednesday, and her husband's used up all his paternity/sick leave (which is a whole other rant), so I'm going to go to the hospital with her as an extra pair of hands.
    So here is what's making me mad: the level of gratitude I'm getting for going with her. I mean.. I had to rejig my work day, but I'm part time, I'm not going to miss any work time, it'll just happen at another time of the day. I mean.. I'm not making a sacrifice, she's a friend, and she needs the help. This should not be a big thing. Any friend that comes without the willingness to help out if you've been hospitalized and it won't adversely affect their life in any way should be returned to the manufacturer for a full refund. This is basic friend stuff.
    I think we've mentioned before the lack of willingness Americans sometimes have to ask for help, and it just struck me that this was a case in point. It makes me mad both that there's an assumption that most people wouldn't do this if they had the time, and that I think most wouldn't ask for the help when it's so clearly needed.

    "You're never more alone than when you're alone in a crowd."

    by Expat Briton on Mon May 12, 2008 at 08:53:09 AM PDT

    • Wow (0 / 0)

      That's so touching and interesting for me to read.  I tend to think of England (a place I've never been) as more independent and stiff upper lip then here.  It doesn't surprise me that we may be more so, though.  

      You do sound like a great friend, though.

      by Erin on Mon May 12, 2008 at 09:57:30 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Could in part be geography? (0 / 0)

        Culturally, there's a big difference between England, especially south east England and the London area, and Scotland where I'm from. We're a lot more socialist, and maybe more willing to call on others for help?

        "You're never more alone than when you're alone in a crowd."

        by Expat Briton on Tue May 13, 2008 at 07:50:00 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • Perhaps (0 / 0)

          You'd know much better then me.  I didn't even realize you were from Scotland; for some reason that changes everything in my mind!  I do think geography comes into play in the US.  If you've mentioned where you live in the past I can't remember, but I live in the northwest, and it is a place where you are expected to mostly keep to yourself.  I think maybe in the south things would be different, although I'm not sure.

          I completely agree with you that , to paraphrase Bob Dylan, doing for others and letting others do for you should be the norm.

          by Erin on Tue May 13, 2008 at 09:33:16 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    • I do think it's a big thing (0 / 0)

      And I'm so glad you're able to help. Yes, we Americans suck at asking people for help about such things.

      by shenanigans on Mon May 12, 2008 at 10:23:38 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Shouldn't we view this as a problem, then? (0 / 0)

        That people don't call on friends for these things? I mean, I'd like to live in a culture where this is normal. I feel like it ought to be normal, not special. Of course, how you go about changing things (more understanding bosses would be a start...) I don't know, but for people to feel secure, I think having that support network from friends is essential.

        "You're never more alone than when you're alone in a crowd."

        by Expat Briton on Tue May 13, 2008 at 07:41:50 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • nevertheless (0 / 0)

      it is a very supportive thing for you to do, EB. Well done. I'm so sorry your friend has had such a fouled up recovery.

      by Rachel on Mon May 12, 2008 at 11:26:17 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • car seat safety (0 / 0)

    More data today reminding us that if we were truly good parents, we would all seat all of our children in the center of the back seat:

    The center position was the least popular, but the safest. The reason, in part, was that children in a centered seat were better protected during a side-impact crash

    Unfortunately, only 28 percent of children in their study were sitting in that position at the time of the car accident, the researchers report in the journal Pediatrics.

    I get really annoyed by articles like this, written in a tone that suggests that anyone not following the recommendation is negligent.  This article helpfully points out that some of us are too lazy to reach into the middle of the car.  Hello, has anyone considered SIBLINGS?

    The information that's missing:  how many of these 'safer' 28% had a sibling injured in the accident?  It is intuitively obvious that sitting farther from the door might be safer in a side crash.  But I don't prioritize my children.

    by lyn on Mon May 12, 2008 at 08:59:11 AM PDT

    • And rear visibility? (0 / 0)

      Those child seats are big. How much safer is a child in one in the center if the parent doing the driving can't see behind them?

      "You're never more alone than when you're alone in a crowd."

      by Expat Briton on Mon May 12, 2008 at 09:08:57 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • That was (0 / 0)

      such a source of anxiety for me.  When my son was born I put my daughter by the window because she's older, but I hate the feeling that I'm throwing her to the wolves in case of an accident.  However, I have no choice.   I don't have a mini van in which I can put both kids in middle seats.

      by Erin on Mon May 12, 2008 at 09:59:51 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Also... (0 / 0)

      I drive an Outback, so I have room for 3 passengers in the back.  I could potentially put one of my two children in the middle and the other on the side, leaving one side free.

      But seriously.  Has anyone ever experienced what happens when you cram two kids right next to each other in the back seat?  I am not about to leave the side open and squish the two kids right next to each other, only to hear them constantly poking each other and fighting as we drive down the road, when I can leave that middle seat open and give them a little space.  I'm betting the parental distraction and irritation of dealing with the squishing would be a significant risk factor for crashes.

      Katherine

      by pat of butter in a sea of grits on Mon May 12, 2008 at 10:20:39 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Right on. (0 / 0)

      Those negligent parents, daring to drive around more than one child at a time.

      Heaven forbid you might transport an adult in the back, too. Ever tried to squash in between a child seat and the door?

      Also, the larger seats (once you graduate to booster) require shoulder belts, and many cars only have shoulder belts on the window seats.

      by shenanigans on Mon May 12, 2008 at 10:26:45 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Precisely! (0 / 0)

      Siblings is an obvious problem, but frankly, my back can't handle putting a kid in a car seat in the center of the car.  All that bending and reaching would kill me.

      And Expat Briton has another excellent point--I can't see over the carseat already!!!  JEEZ.

      All these guilt trippers can suck it.  I've had that kind of day, dammit.

      by tessajp on Mon May 12, 2008 at 05:45:04 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • That is (0 / 0)

    so darn sweet of Markos (the book).  I'm also so very sorry about his grandmother.

    by Erin on Mon May 12, 2008 at 10:19:18 AM PDT

  • Big Chinese Earthquake (0 / 0)

    I expect damage will be considerable. :-(

    by shenanigans on Mon May 12, 2008 at 10:27:44 AM PDT

  • It is cool to have a book dedicated to you! (0 / 0)

    My DH did that with his last one and I like to open it periodically just to see. I'm looking forward to reading the book - when will it be out officially?

    It's pretty nice to have a partner that you love and respect and are proud of, isn't it? Kudos to him and you.

    I'm feeling like I've been totally out of touch with MT lately. I just got back from a week-long business trip during which I didn't have time to even check e-mail. I'm just trying to get through to the end of DH's semester (and all of the kids' end-of-school stuff) and hoping I'll have a bit more time then. It feels like months since I've written anything, and even my lurking has been at a minimum. But I will be back!

    by mpg on Mon May 12, 2008 at 10:50:04 AM PDT

    • I wondered where you got to! (0 / 0)

      Figured real-space life got in the way! Hope you had a productive trip!

      by Rachel on Mon May 12, 2008 at 11:23:15 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Good question... (0 / 0)

      The book comes out in September.

      It's good to "see" you again, MPG! I was wondering what you have been up to.

      by Elisa on Mon May 12, 2008 at 11:56:18 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Oh I've been up to the usual May stuff (0 / 0)

        picnics, field trips, field days, graduations, meetings, lunches, dinners, the big charity event of the year at our church (which DH is chair of) - and the annual convention of the association I work for.

        Where was all this in March when we were all bored? It seems a shame that all this activity gets saved up for the end of the year! :)

        by mpg on Mon May 12, 2008 at 06:15:10 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  • aaawww (0 / 0)

    I always love reading those big, chunky acknowledgement pages. Fantastic. Can we order the book? I'll have it next to Storming the Gates. ;-)

    I'm really sorry to hear that Markos' grandmother is doing so poorly and glad that she did get to see Eli. Very important. Are you enjoying the one-on-one time with Ari as well?

    by Rachel on Mon May 12, 2008 at 11:25:00 AM PDT

    • Yeah... (0 / 0)

      Poor Ari has not had nearly enough of my attention since his sister arrived.

      Well, he'll be getting more as Markos called to ask for permission to stay in El Salvador until Wednesday. His brother arrived and he wants to spend some time with him, too. I'm like, "Hey, I'm not the one traveling with the baby. Knock yourself out!"

      My MIL has been helping him. So he is getting some downtime. And me.

      by Elisa on Mon May 12, 2008 at 11:54:06 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • ENOUGH! (0 / 0)

    Enough enough enough enough enough.

    Brother went to the hospital again last night, because he has shingles!!!  Yippee!  My mom, as a lovely capper to her year to date, spent her Mother's Day night sitting in yet another ER with a family member.  My family has just had the most ridiculous string of hospital stays over the past four months, I just want to scream.

    DD gets up this morning with diarrhea and a fever.  No day care for her today!  I have the seriously huge project at work which is already overdue, so DH stays home.  

    Then I have a stupid stupid stupid, aggravating, infuriating day at the office.  At last count, I want to kill three, possibly four coworkers.  The amount of slackitude and PISS POOR ENGLISH SKILLS is seriously impacting my life, and it annoys me.  I finished my part of the project, but it doesn't mean that much because every other frickin' part needs serious rewrites.  Luckily, not my problem, because tomorrow is my day to stay home with DD.  I have never been so happy about diarrhea in my life.

    One idiotic trip to the food store later, and I get home.  DD, thrilled to see me, only wants to sit on my lap.  And somehow, she manages to completely miss her diaper and diarrhead ALL OVER ME.  THE PERFECT FRICKIN' ENDING TO MY DAY.

    I want martinis.  Many martinis.  Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

    by tessajp on Mon May 12, 2008 at 05:26:36 PM PDT

    • ooooh, hugs, Tessa! (0 / 0)

      What a bear of a day. Ack.

      by Rachel on Mon May 12, 2008 at 05:39:41 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Shingles are the worst! (0 / 0)

      I think they have a vaccine for them now though, that will hopefully mean your brother won't get them again (and your mom won't have to spend more time in the ER).

      Sorry about the crapitude of your day and in your lap. It truly never rains...

      by mpg on Mon May 12, 2008 at 06:00:12 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Oy (0 / 0)

      Time to take a knock-out pill and try again tomorrow?

      Sorry for your awful day!

      by mamacita on Mon May 12, 2008 at 08:31:07 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Oooph (0 / 0)

      Hope you're having a better day today. And what a bummer you couldn't have the martinis - you'll have to make up after the baby arrives (or after you stop nursing every few hours).

      by SwissClogs on Tue May 13, 2008 at 12:03:09 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • I was incredibly tempted at the store... (0 / 0)

        ...to buy some wine.  I subscribe to the theory that one glass once in a blue moon won't hurt.  But I restrained myself.

        Today is much better.  DD is feeling better, and we had a ton of fun dancing in the kitchen, and planting seeds outside.  Yay!

        by tessajp on Tue May 13, 2008 at 12:06:53 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • I can imagine! (0 / 0)

          I'm happy to hear today is good! And I also don't see to much harm in an occasional sip of whatever - it's just that I find it easier to not drink at all (still, now that bf DD2) than to drink the odd glass. I can see how you almost got some wine yesterday - it would have been most deserved! Now I'm off to nurse again, and then to bed.

          by SwissClogs on Tue May 13, 2008 at 02:14:53 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

Permalink | 38 comments