Mother Talkers

Weekend Open Thread

by Elisa

Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 06:33:00 AM PDT

Here is one of those odd Berkeley Parents Network letters. In this case, a mom, who happens to work in the environmental field, does not want to bring a second child into the world because of environmental degradation. (Join the club!)

I'm the mom of an absolutely adorable 18-month-old and love almost every minute of being a mom. Lately my husband and I have been thinking about having a 2nd child but I am torn about having another one for the following reason: I am absolutely terrified about the future. I work in the environmental field (educating others about climate change) and every day get bombarded with news about melting ice caps, scarce resources, water shortages, etc. I simply feel like it would be irresponsible to bring another child into this world knowing that their future could quite possibly be rather miserable. I didn't had these thoughts quite so much when planning to have my first child, but now have been obsessively thinking about whether or not to have another one. Of course I would love to adopt another but that's easier said than done (and my husband is not as excited about the adoption alternative as I am). My question is: is anybody else out there as terrified as I am about the future, and thinking about not having other children because of this?
worried about the future

May I suggest a different job?

J/K! Certainly, this is something that crosses every parent's mind. Never mind the environment, but I am also worried about crime and poverty, which will only increase with environmental concerns. But what I tell myself is we need people who can address these issues, which is why I am trying my best to raise problem solvers.

On a happier note, the cosmetic surgery industry has taken a hit in the recession, according to Slate. Hopefully, this will make us a little less neurotic about our looks.

What's up with you? Have a good weekend all!

  • ::

Tags: Berkeley Parents Network, uncertainty, environmental field, environment, second child (all tags)

Permalink | 103 comments

  • Aren't you in St. Martens? (0 / 0)

    Going to the zoo this morning with the kids and the in laws...hoping my BIL gets his ass out of bed before the rain starts and foils all of our plans! Argh.

    Got into a tiff with my fundie neighbor last night about the  Day of Silence. She is going to pull her kids from school on that day. I took it upon myself to send her the Heterosexual Questionnaire as well as this:

    First they came for the Communists,
    and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
    Then they came for the Jews,
    and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
    Then they came for the homosexuals,
    and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a homosexual.
    Then they came for the Catholics,
    and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
    Then they came for me,
    and by that time no one was left to speak up.

    Hope she's still speaking to me this morning...if not, oh well.

    by GiGi on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 06:48:33 AM PDT

    • she is! (0 / 0)

      Elisa prepared the open thread before she left and some kind soul who woke up earlier than I published it. :-)

      Your neighbor sounds like a peach. I am glad you spoke up.

      by Erika on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 08:18:33 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Oooh... (0 / 0)

      Thanks for posting that, Gigi... I had not heard of it before.  Good for you for speaking up.  Is your daughter's school doing something to honor the day?  This made me think of a bumper sticker I saw once:

      Don't pray in our school and I won't think in your church

      Man I wish I had the guts to put that on my car, but I'd probably end up getting my tires slashed.

      Hope you got your zoo trip in.  It was rainy/stormy off and on here yesterday and today it's like winter again.  Cold and in the 40's.  Yuck.

      "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

      by 1plain1peanut on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 06:35:42 AM PDT

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      • Only the high school (0 / 0)

        is participating - unless stupid folks like my neighbor put enough pressure on the superintendent...she kept saying, "My kids aren't going to school on a day that honors the homosexual lifestyle." I nearly lost my mind! I told her that her terminology is  inflammatory and inaccurate and then got into a mini-discussion with her twin 16 year olds about sexual orientation (that part was good, actually). They both think that you don't know if you are gay or straight until High School. So I asked both of them if they had 'decided' what they are since they are sophomores. That's when their mom nearly blew a gasket. Very funny!

        I had a Keep Abortion Legal bumper sticker on my car when we first moved here and our mailbox ended up crunched. Coincidence? I think not.

        Zoo'ed for about an hour before the down pour...oh well.

        Winter weather here today, too. Joy.

        by GiGi on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 06:43:49 AM PDT

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        • LOL (0 / 0)

          I bet your neighbors love you just about as much as mine love me hahaha!

          How sad about your mailbox.  Stuff like that never ceases to amaze me.  I see people with crazy right wing bumper stickers but it would never occur to me to do anything nasty to them.  But, I've been flipped off, almost run off the road (with my kids in the back seat, mind you), and had chewing gum put under the door handle in a parking lot.  I'm guessing it was all because they didn't like my bumperstickers.  My friend had a Pro-Choice bumpersticker on her van and her tires got slashed.  It scares me that these people are so filled with hate.  :-/

          "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

          by 1plain1peanut on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 06:55:11 AM PDT

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          • Funny thing is (0 / 0)

            she and I are pretty good friends. She has a good heart, but is stuck in the conservative christian mind trap.

            The trouble with peeps like that is that they don't think they are filled with hate. Ceases to amaze me. I often tell my neighbor that it's not very christian of her to hate gay people. She says the standard "love the sin, hate the sinner" for which I also give her a bunch of crap. But, honestly, how much headway can one make with someone who does not believe in evolution and who thinks that a man's god given place is as the ultimate patriarch: leader/head of his family? Ugh. Bleurgh. Blech. Yuck.

            by GiGi on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 07:30:06 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  • The future for our children (0 / 0)

    I remember when my friend was 8 months pregnant on 9/11/01 and I thought she'd be the last pregnant woman I would know.  Who would bring children into a world where that could happen?  Well, looking at the full kindergarten classrooms at my kids' elementary schools, I'm not sure the birth rate dropped at all in 2002.

    Yes, the environmental damage being caused by humans is overwhelming.  And sad.  And frustrating.  I personally wouldn't bring more children into the world - easy for me to say, I have one healthy child of each gender.  If I had one and wanted another, I would probably do it- but not without reservations.

    Maybe if we get a tough Dem in the White House things will look up for the environment?  And health care for all.  What a boon to all children's futures.

    On a personal note, I am in excruciating pain.  I think I gave myself whiplash.  On Wednesday I was trimming a tree on a ladder, trying to get branches far out of my reach.  Perhaps I over-extended myself, or when a clipping would fall toward my face, I suddenly shifted my head out of the way, all the while trying to keep from falling.  My neck muscles are bitingly painful and stiff, even with round the clock Advil, heat packs, and an old muscle relaxer I had in my medicine cabinet.  The only thing that seems to help is Biofreeze, but only for a few minutes.

    Should I go to a doctor?  This was not caused by "trauma" such as a car crash, so I don't need an X-ray.  I'm afraid all the doc would do is tell me to take Advil and prescribe a muscle relaxer- which I am already doing.

    by MsMarvel on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 07:09:33 AM PDT

    • Try a chiropractor (0 / 0)

      I would definitely go to a chiropractor for the pain. The relief could very well be immediate.

      by RachelD on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 07:19:16 AM PDT

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    • GO to the doctor! (0 / 0)

      It's been a few days, go and don't take that as an answer. Maybe if your insurance allows, bipass all that and go to a licensed chiropractor. Generally they do x-rays and the like there and take you more seriously when you say "this is really painful"

      But go, and quickly, because you do not want to be sitting there on Sunday, move too quickly or something silly like that and find yourself in the ER because there are no doctors!

      by lilianna28 on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 07:19:42 AM PDT

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      • Alas, no insurance for chiropractic care (0 / 0)

        or acupuncture, or massage therapy.  Just a plain ol' HMO.  So a stock answer and a scrip for pills are practically guaranteed.

        I did read this article last month which scared the heck out of me.  It's about the risk for women to have strokes following a chiropractic adjustment or having their hair washed at a salon!

        by MsMarvel on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 07:50:14 AM PDT

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      • I agree (0 / 0)

        The doctor can also make a referral for physical therapy.  DH has back issues and PT made a difference for him as the PT taught him several back stretches and exercices.  So it might help you feel better, faster.

        Jen

        by MrsPastor on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:49:16 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • terror sex (0 / 0)

      do you remember the spate of "trend stories" about terror sex in the wake of 9/11? As in, terror was driving people into each other's arms for release and comfort? They predicted a baby boom because of it...not sure whether that ever came to pass.

      by Erika on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 08:19:52 AM PDT

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      • funny you should say this (0 / 0)

        Just this weekend, someone told me that there is a boom of kids that are about five years old and younger who were conceived after 9/11. There's a problem of too many kids that age and not enough spaces in local kindergartens here in Seattle.

        by Stacey on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 10:18:54 AM PDT

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      • My co-worker (0 / 0)

        My co-worker at the time was married for several years, but she and her husband both had children from previous marriages, so they weren't really considering having their own.  After 9/11, she told me they changed their mind, she immediately got pregnant, and had their daughter in the summer of '02.  So I think it did happen at some level.

        by cynmill on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 11:59:38 AM PDT

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  • strange week (0 / 0)

    wow, this has been an irritating week. but a good one, in some regards.

    The good: I've pretty well decided I'm going to pursue the Speech Pathologist path. I'll take a slower road, but I've got the "full-time student" thing on the table with DH and we have a monetary goal we have to reach for me to get there, and in the mean time I'll get the Assistant's degree at night school. I already sent an e-mail to the head of the department at the community college. I am very excited! yay!

    The annoying: unfortunately there's more in this column. My route to work has somehow changed by like, 20 minutes, which means I have been late almost every day despite leaving on-time early. What is UP with that?

    The second most annoying thing right now is that, for oh, about 5 years now when my DH completely missed my 25th birthday, I've been telling him, please, I really would like to have a party for my 30th birthday that I do not need to plan myself. It's not about presents or anything, it's about getting my friends together because they are kind of all over the map and it's fun to hang out with them. I'm seriously talking, grill at my parents house kind of thing. No bars or halls or planning necessary really.  WELL, I should have known better. My DH is the king of good intentions. He INTENDS to do a lot. He thinks about doing a lot- like, he actually comes home from stuff and says "hey, I thought about getting you flowers yesterday when you weren't feeling well". Oh. Great honey.
    Then there's my BFF who is awesome, but OVERplans everything. They are not playing nice together. DH is avoiding phone calls, BFF is complaining about it and I'm over it. Whatever. I don't even care, I didn't want a lot. Come on people. The whole thing just feels like a silly request on my part now, I feel stupid about even wanting something and yeah, that's that.

    by lilianna28 on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 07:17:18 AM PDT

    • My husband does this alot! (0 / 0)

      "Hey Hon, I thought about buying you a book I saw that I know you wanted..."  And that's it, he just trails off and looks at me.  At first I was like thanks for nothing, but now I just give thanks that he thinks about me during the day and he knows what I would like.

      For his 30th, we just bought tickets to fly down to Washington DC.  He is Australian, but has always loved American history and politics, so off we go.  We got a steal on tickets and know so many people that we aren't paying for lodging.  I thought about throwing him a party, but unlike you, we don't have very many friends in our new area.

      You shouldn't feel silly for wanting a cool party!  Turning 30 is a good time for a big celebration!  Maybe your parents can run interference as the party is going to be held at their house?

      by MoanaLiz on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 07:38:05 AM PDT

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    • mine does this too (0 / 0)

      I used to be very blase about holidays -- just wanted, at some point within a month of my b-day, x-mas, valentines day, to get something thoughtful.  Didn't have to be big or fancy or expensive, didn't have to be on "The Day" just something.  

      DH, on the other hand, had to have a card on the day, even if we had celebrated earlier.  e.g., if his b-day was on a Tuesday and we went to a big dinner the previous Saturday and I gave him a gift and card at that dinner, it in no way absolved me from having to have a signed card ready for him when he awoke on his birthday.  I was in the doghouse for days if I didn't do so.  

      Fast forward a few years -- I'm completely trained up and have cards ready on the day, sometimes with a gift and sometimes not, but there is always, ALWAYS a card.  And he has backslid to where your DH is: I wanted to get you/thought about getting you something really nice, but it was expensive so I didn't want to spend the money without you but I wanted to surprise you so I kept putting it off...

      I'm still waiting for my valentines 2008 gift.  Or card.  Or $1.99 bunch of daffodils from Trader Joes.  The bar is quite low at this point.  

      --R

      by Rocky on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:01:37 AM PDT

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    • You should get your party (0 / 0)

      Don't feel silly for wanting to celebrate.  30 is an excellent milestone and you should celebrate it.  And it's not bad for you to ask DH to do the planning.  

      Jen

      by MrsPastor on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:53:28 AM PDT

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    • oh that makes me mad (0 / 0)

      tell your BFF and DH to get it together, and STOP involving you! Even if all DH has to do is send your BFF names and addresses and she is happy to plan everything else, they need to do this without complaining to you. Tell BFF to find another outlet for this topic. :-)

      by Erika on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 10:43:19 AM PDT

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    • argh! (0 / 0)

      I totally, totally empathise - I wrote at the time that DH forgot our wedding anniversary this year, even though it's the day after his birthday. Worse, now he tries to claim he didn't "forget", but because it was on a Saturday, he was going shopping later in the day anyway. Whatev. Then, on my birthday, he didn't want to bake a cake. I told him repeatedly in the week leading up that I wasn't too fussed about the present, but I wanted the cake, because a.) who doesn't like cake? and b.) Jess likes making cake and I want to instill in her a tradition of celebrating big days. Fast forward to the big day, no cake forthcoming. 7 p.m. Jessica asks, "Daddy, where's Mummy's cake? All birthday girls have cake." That's right- the 2 1/2 year old took control of the situation. I got my damn cake.

      DH argues that I'm pushing him into unfamiliar territory because his family never celebrated birthdays and I'm forcing him to conform to my family's standards. I say, ok, fine, next year I take it you don't want a cake and presents on your birthday then? Suspiciously quiet husband checks to see if cake is baking ok.

      Long story short, don't feel silly. It's important to you, you've given plenty of notice about it and damn it, you deserve a birthday party!

      by Rachel on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:41:09 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • Happy Friday all (0 / 0)

    Things with me are good. Looking forward to the weekend that is for sure. The big news is I had my ultrasound yesterday and everything looked great. Plus we found out... it's a girl! Apparently it was very obvious:) My MIL had her fortune read in Thailand and knew it was going to be a girl so I guess it was fate:). I am feeling very relieved, it was so nice to actually see the baby and all her parts. She looks great and the doctor said everything with me looked fine so I guess I can relax for at least a couple of days:) We also got the room painted and ordered our crib so I am really excited. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

    by Kalikat22 on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 07:53:58 AM PDT

    • congrats! (0 / 0)

      on your girl news. room painted and crib ordered already? you're in great shape!

      to me, the pregnancy never felt "real" until that ultrasound, as I didn't have any pregnancy symptoms. I burst into tears when I saw her moving around in there!

      And even though the medical professionals said the gender was obvious, I never could see it...

      by Erika on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 08:07:20 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Yeah, I know:) (0 / 0)

        I am a bit of a planner/control freak:) I go through periods where I think we have plenty of time and then turn around and start panicking that we are not doing enough. I feel good about where we are now so that is nice. I feel like we are working on getting stuff done in a good way so that is nice. Good luck to everyone working on the job front!

        by Kalikat22 on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 10:40:26 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • 20 wks? (0 / 0)

          Is that how far along you are? DH and I thought that the pictures of DS #1's ultrasound pictures kind looked like an alien until the DR told us what we were looking at. LOL! This time around we were both in awe of how much better the picture quality has improved in just 2 years. Or maybe we just knew what we were looking at this time around.

          I was way more of a control freak when DS #1 was born. Let's just say MIL and I did a few Saturday cooking sessions to stock the freezer with a month plus worth of meals which did come in handy. I organized and reorganized his baby clothes. Oh, I could go on. But I realized that I went a little overboard. We've been a little more low key this time around.

          Jen in NJ

          by littlepear on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 11:10:08 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    • Congrats! (0 / 0)

      That's very exciting!  And you're already a pro at getting prepared -- I've got less than 3 weeks to go, and we still need to install carseat, buy diapers, wash the sheets, etc., etc...

      --R

      by Rocky on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:03:56 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Car Seat (0 / 0)

        We did that two weeks ago. DS was a little confused at first b/c we moved where his car seat was. But he's ok with it now. And last weekend decided that it was finally time to make room in our bedroom for the pack n play which we're using as a bassinette.
        I made a few meals that I froze, washed all the baby clothes/blankets etc. Cleaned my pump. Packed my bag. So I think we're ready. Which is good, seeing I as of my OB appointment yesterday I have reached 1cm, and 50% thining. So....my OB said it could happen anything. I keep telling myself, not to stress too much because DH/MIL/and my mom will all be here to help.

        AH, and we are supposed to close on our house next week!

        I am sure that you will be ready for BabyR's big arrival too. It will all get done.

        Jen in NJ

        by littlepear on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 11:02:52 AM PDT

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    • how exciting! (0 / 0)

      Congratulations and happy nesting!!

      by Stacey on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:27:08 AM PDT

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    • Great news! (0 / 0)

      Good to hear all looked well on the ultrasound. And a girl - sweet!

      by SwissClogs on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 12:04:40 PM PDT

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    • congratulations! (0 / 0)

      so glad to hear that your little girl is healthy!

      by Rachel on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:42:36 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Congrats! (0 / 0)

      My SIL is due in July... she's had a few ultrasounds and each time my brother e-mails them to me.  I love it that he's so excited!

      Girls are fun... enjoy decorating her baby room.  :)

      "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

      by 1plain1peanut on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 06:38:45 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • last day of work (0 / 0)

    Today's my last day before my leave starts.  Hopefully the little one will give me a few days next week to get organized and catch up on sleep before showing up.  

    Also looking forward to some good soul searching on the job front, I think it's time for a change and have no idea what that means.  

    --R

    by Rocky on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:06:24 AM PDT

  • On the job front (0 / 0)

    Since this seems to be a running theme of this open thread...

    I have my first job interview today. I'm nervous. I haven't been sleeping well. These life changes are tough!

    by Stacey on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:29:42 AM PDT

    • Buena suerte... (0 / 0)

      I'm sending you great interview vibes!

      by Erika on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:37:35 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • thanks! (0 / 0)

        The job could be a great fit for me. I get the sense that the guy who is doing the hiring and I both feel that way.

        My big fear about the interview is that I'll freeze up in mid-thought and forget what I'm saying. I don't usually get too nervous in those situations, but I am feeling a lot of anxiety about making this transition from being at home with my kids to being a working mother and I feel like those feelings might mess with my professional exterior. Trying to take deep breaths...

        by Stacey on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 10:14:32 AM PDT

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        • if you do freeze up (0 / 0)

          don't get nervous. Say, "That's an interesting question. Give me a moment to phrase this correctly because I feel it's an important point" or something of that ilk. That way, you seem contimplative and you're subtly flattering the interviewer on his good questions.

          by Rachel on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:45:38 PM PDT

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    • big, good luck! (0 / 0)

      hope you have a great interview and you like what's on offer!

      by Rachel on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:43:58 PM PDT

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      • thanks! (0 / 0)

        Interview's over and I didn't freeze at all. It went very well and I am definitely still interested in the job. One of the best things I learned is that they are very flexible about hours and even working from home. Yay!! This means I can get to work early and be home by 4pm and still have time to hang out with my kids and even still plan playdates with our friends. This means a lot to me. So I'm hopeful the salary will be decent (we haven't discussed that yet). I still need to jump through a couple of hurdles before they make an offer, but I think right now both sides are feeling positive.

        by Stacey on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 08:01:28 PM PDT

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  • You know, (0 / 0)

    back when we were deciding to start a family, there were those who said much the same...only they didn't know if it was wise to bring a child into the world when a nuclear war was likely to obliterate the human race.  Having  children is always a dicey proposition...we never have assurances that life will treat them well.  I suppose I could say that those seeking such assurances probably shouldn't have children.  They might not be of the right temperment.

    by tjb22 on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 10:57:04 AM PDT

  • We're leaving this wkd (0 / 0)

    I'm looking forward to a nice, relaxing (I hope ...) vacation. Leaving this wkd for Florida, and taking the baby on her first flight.

    Anyone know anything about earplugs for babies on flights? I have some waterproof earplugs for her at home, because she has eartubes and can't get her ears wet ... I noticed on the package it said something about babies wearing them on flights, but there's no explanation other than you're supposed to take them out before descending.

    Can you help?

    by Kay on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 11:16:15 AM PDT

    • Earplugs? (0 / 0)

      Nope, never heard that.

      We did a fair bit of flying when DD was little - most of the time she'd either sleep or nurse. If possible, it is useful to have your girl drink (nurse or bottle, doesn't matter) during ascent and descent, because the regular swallowing will help keep her ears depressurized.

      Have a great vacation!

      by SwissClogs on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 12:11:50 PM PDT

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      • agreed (0 / 0)

        just make sure she's swallowing something while the plane is going up and down. The only reason I can think for earplugs is for noise.

        by Erika on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 12:26:46 PM PDT

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      • bring a lollipop, too (0 / 0)

        Drinking during descent is a good idea but trust me, the little monsters don't always go along with the plan.  When the little darling starts shrieking her lungs out in the middle of the flight you always cave in, and then of course she'll refuse to drink anything on the way down when her ears hurt.  A lollipop - which if she's never had one may be the most interesting thing she's ever put in her mouth - will keep her swallowing when she needs to.

        by lyn on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 01:04:20 PM PDT

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  • Great day yesterday, rough today (0 / 0)

    We had lovely spring weather yesterday and I cycled (4.5 miles, and back) to  a friend who is also due next week - it was very nice to catch up. I felt great (if slightly tired) after that - enjoyed the nap I took after that.

    Then apparently I ate something wrong at dinner (can't quite figure out what, because DD and DH had no trouble), felt a bit miserable for most of the evening (slightly sick and the baby was very active - I actually thought the delivery was starting). I spent a miserable night in the bathroom, and most of today in bed, which isn't all that confortable anymore. Luckily DH could stay home to take care of DD because I really wasn't up to that. I'm improving again since late afternoon, so that's the good news. Had a checkup with my midwife too, who said the baby is growing well and all is fine, as long as I could start eating again - I have, since.

    We have s quiet weekend ahead - unless the baby is born....

    Have a good weekend all!

    by SwissClogs on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 12:55:06 PM PDT

  • All dressed up and nowhere to go. (0 / 0)

    We're trying to sell our house in this horrendous market. We're getting more walkthroughs than most, but that's not saying much this year.

    I can't believe how clean it is around here! We should have taken care of all the house care details a few years ago, when we first bought the place. It's pretty pleasant. I just wish more people would come look! Before we lose the magic touch from the clean fairy.

    It's fun to catch up with everyone, at least superficially, here on the openthreads. There are a lot of babies coming, eh?

    by tarantula on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 01:24:00 PM PDT

    • Good luck! (0 / 0)

      I hope you'll manage to find good buyers soon!
      And indeed: there are four MT babies due in the coming 2.5 weeks. There's a bit more here.

      I'm off to bed.

      by SwissClogs on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 01:31:10 PM PDT

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    • st. joseph? (0 / 0)

      we buried a st. joseph statue in our front yard, upside down, facing where we wanted to move to. Three weeks later we sold, but i'm a crazy catholic, we believe anything. :)

      by lilianna28 on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 01:43:34 PM PDT

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      • St Joseph worked for us too. (0 / 0)

        and I'm not catholic - so it works for protestants too!  

        We sat on the market for 4 months in 2005 and sold in 10 days in 2006.   Of course, we'd added French doors to change the house from a 3 bedroom to a 4 bedroom and changed realtors and did the new light fixture thing but I still go with the st Joseph.

        "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

        by lonestar canuck on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 02:29:51 PM PDT

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    • where are you moving? (0 / 0)

      I know you have wanted to move for a while, hope you're headed somewhere awesome!

      by Erika on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:08:39 PM PDT

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      • We are moving to (0 / 0)

        Humboldt County, Hooray! It's really awesome. Now, if we could just sell the house...I'm gonna try St. Joseph. If it'll work for Protestants, maybe it'll work for an agnostic.

        by tarantula on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:37:46 PM PDT

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        • Oh man, Humboldt County!! (0 / 0)

          Humboldt County is one of my favorite escape from Silicon Valley fantasies. Talk about two places that are nearly opposite in so many ways.

          I spent many summers as a kid in Trinidad and environs, and I love love love that place.

          Congratulations. I didn't realize where you were moving.

          by RachelD on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 07:22:04 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        • Good luck (0 / 0)

          And welcome to the Emerald Triangle, where, as my daughter would say, the trees touch the sky. :-)

          by shenanigans on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 12:42:55 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Thanks, shenanigans. (0 / 0)

            I've gotta read more about the schools in the area. I'll go back and look at your posts, too.

            Tallest trees in the world, eh? Yippee!

            Who calls it the Emerald Triangle (very appropriate)?

            by tarantula on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 06:13:11 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

        • I love it there (0 / 0)

          In fact, I proposed the area for our family vacation this summer.  I love to camp in the redwoods.  However, DS vetoed it.  He is a city boy.  His one and only criteria for destinations is "a really nice hotel."  

          by mamacita on Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 12:12:28 PM PDT

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          • sounds like my dad (0 / 0)

            my dad (going on 70.) served 2 years as a draftee in the late 50s on the Korean DMZ and has never touched a sleeping bag or a camping bed since. Camping for him is a two-star hotel.

            [totally ot, but may now I take the time to point out from the above that my dad's a better patriot than Dick Cheney - my dad fulfilled his draft duties.]

            by Rachel on Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 09:09:30 PM PDT

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            • My dad is the same way! (0 / 0)

              He was in the Army in the early 50's.  Was drafted during the Korean War, but didn't have to go.  Served his whole time in Norfolk, Virginia.  However, even that cured him of any notion of "roughing it".  My dad also hates parades and doesn't like guns.  Again, military association for him.  What's really funny, though, is my dad has rather fond memories of other aspects of his two year service.  He and a group of his old army buddies still get together once a year.

              by tjb22 on Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 10:02:42 PM PDT

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              • my dad was kinda the (0 / 0)

                Radar O'Reilly of his unit - company clerk. Like your dad, he enjoyed some other parts of it, too, but decidedly un-military aspects; he taught GED maths classes to other on base and he's often said that he enjoyed teaching that particular bunch (most were very interested in learning and were looking forward to furthering their education) so much that he wouldn't mind teaching again at a community college or voc tech school.

                by Rachel on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 12:12:24 AM PDT

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          • Would this place count? (0 / 0)

            There's a B and B right on Trinidad Bay:

            Trinidad Bay B and B

            Note that two of the rooms have private entrances for those of us who don't like the chatty chat breakfast experience. A group which might also include teenaged boys :).

            I've never stayed there, but it's very popular and the location can't be beat.

            by RachelD on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 08:40:12 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

    • good luck! (0 / 0)

      Oh, good luck!  Yeah, we thought that too, once we got our old house ready to sell, like, "Why didn't we do all of these great things for ourselves?"  Like paint the deck, and powerwash the siding, and plant flowers and clean up really well.  So funny.

      by NJmom on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:31:22 PM PDT

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      • I wonder if the clean living experience will (0 / 0)

        change my habits for the better? Nah.

        It's nice to be so clean, but it's hard to stay on top of it. My realtor said the house looked, "excellent" today. Points for us! But now I'm cooking dinner and stuff...

        by tarantula on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 06:09:19 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • yeah (0 / 0)

      I remember when we sold our flat in London, we had things crazy clean and I was always at full standby for when the estate agent called. Fortunately, Jess was all of 4 months at the time and the clutter was minimal.

      I would hate to have to sell now. OMG. I'd have to do a full scour-and-scrape every bloody morning and basically take us both to the park all frigging day.

      Good luck, too. Now where are you moving? I know you mentioned it, but my mind is like a sieve. Haven't drunk the first coffee yet.

      by Rachel on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:51:05 PM PDT

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    • Isn't that always the way? (0 / 0)

      We should have taken care of all the house care details a few years ago, when we first bought the place.

      It seems a recurring story for most of us - you don't get really motivated to put in the time and money until you go to sell.

      by shenanigans on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 12:44:26 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • Well... (0 / 0)

    I'm married to a climate scientist, and we had similar discussions before conceiving our second kid seven years ago. In truth, what's happening with the climate is terrifying, and although public awareness and interest has increased, we all know no one listens to the scientists on the cutting edge of research until there is a problem. Or it's too late.

    On that happy note, I'm going to bed because we have softball practice, music class, and a picnic tomorrow (probably in the pouring rain and cold snap that's supposed to come and kill off all the apple buds in N.C. again this year--speaking of climate change).

    by Edgy Mama on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 06:33:55 PM PDT

    • yeah (0 / 0)

      I'm studying epidemiology and public health.  Same problem - the potential public health impacts of climate change are so much more scary that most people realize.  But nobody cares about possibilities and probabilities; even if somebody is listening to the scientists and their warnings, no action can be taken until the evidence is overwhelming.  By then, of course, it's far, far too late.

      I spend a lot of time engaged in active cognitive dissonance, pretending that the stuff I hear and read about won't really affect my family all that much.  What else is there to do?  

      by lyn on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 07:52:05 PM PDT

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  • google maps (0 / 0)

    If you put our address into google maps and rotate the image so it points down the street, you can see DS walking one of our dogs.  Freaky!  That's a lot of info from a satellite photo!

    by mamacita on Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 06:37:40 PM PDT

  • Keeping with the job theme (0 / 0)

    I had an interview on Thursday and I observed in the classroom yesterday.  The director of the preschool and I really clicked and all signs were pointing to me getting the job.  Then, she e-mailed me last night to tell me that the other candidate is probably going to accept the job (she was wavering when I interviewed) and that she's first in line because she has a bachelor's in elementary education and she interviewed first.  (My bachelor's is in art).  

    She said the first person still isn't a sure thing and a lot can happen over the summer that can change things with staff.  So, I'm still going to attend the staff meeting as planned and she told me my application/resume is on the top of the pile.  

    I'm bummed, but not deterred from pursuing this.  It looks like I'm first in line should another position come open.  I love the school, and it's just such a perfect fit for me.  It's been a long time since I felt so excited about a job like this.  :-D

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

    by 1plain1peanut on Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 06:46:47 AM PDT

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