Mother Talkers

"Mommy, you rock!"

by AnnieJo

Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 08:44:57 AM PDT

I've got it in writing, on an evaluation form, no less.  I officially "rock" according to my kindergarten daughter!

This irreplaceable, suitable-for-framing document came about in this way:

I ring handbells with a semi-pro auditioned community group.  It takes a great deal of time and commitment, but every semester we pull together a concert program of varied, challenging repertoire.  We've just finished with this spring's concerts, and my husband and daughter attended as they always do.

Mommy undergoes quite the transformation on performance night.  These are among the few occasions that I actually pull out the makeup and the curling iron.  Then there's the tux shirt & bow tie, the sequined vest, the white gloves -- and the onstage actress/musician persona emerges, so different from the daily mommy-routine of scrambling to pack the backpack and nagging about brushing teeth.

So as my daughter was sitting in the audience listening to the music and watching me & my colleagues put the bells through their paces, she was busily filling out the feedback form included in the concert program.

Her feedback was:

I like the consrt.
I love your cloth's.
I love you!!!!!!  
Mommy you rock!

I'm under no illusions that I'll "rock" forever.  In fact, I only occasionally rock right now.  And I imagine that in a few years, as she hits pre-teen-hood, I'll become terminally un-cool, not to mention downright embarrassing.

But as of the other night, I rock.

How about you?  Do you rock?  Are you an embarrassment?  Or both?  At what age do you find that such transitions hit?

Tags: kindergarten, music appreciation (all tags)

Permalink | 18 comments

  • Oh yeah (0 / 0)

    I rock- at least as far as the 4 year old is concerned.  DS6 would just as soon I were abducted by aliens.

    by Laura on Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 09:04:35 AM PDT

  • I think (0 / 0)

    we rock off and on for years. I distinctly remember, even in the midst of teenage angst having moments of button-bursting pride over my Mom.

    Right now my DD loves me, pretty much exclusively, but she's only 5.

    by Suzanne77 on Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 09:27:19 AM PDT

    • Did you tell her, though? (0 / 0)

      Or would that have been too un-cool?

      I'd love to rock at least a little bit during the teenage angst years.  But I'm guessing I won't hear about it.  I hope I gave my mom more positive feedback than I remember giving her... I did voluntarily take an English class my senior year in highschool that she taught, but I may not have been as affirming about it as I could have been!

      Now, my husband, who plays a mean lead guitar in a rock band, probably has a good chance of rocking in one sense or another right on through highschool.

      by AnnieJo on Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 09:43:51 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Yes, I told her (0 / 0)

        actually I told my teacher and my teacher told my Mom. My HS gifted teacher asked us who our "heroes" were, kids said, scientists, explorers, atheletes etc. I said "My Mom is my hero. Basically she is very different than I am, she can cook like a pro chef, fix cars, roller skate backwards, she's an artist, terrific at drawing, she can paint ahouse or a picture...basically a Renaissance woman. Then I said, she might also be a poet. She has the most unusual, colorful and metaphorical vocabular I ever heard, she once told my Dad, while they were fighting, "Tony, you are a weasel-assed bastard and you are obviously on the f****ing rag, so go chill out and take a Midol." I thought the internal rhyem scheme of "weasel-assed" and "bastard" was just awesome."

        My Dad did not have a come-back for that. My Mom just shut.him.down.

        So yeah in parent teacher conferences, my Mom asked how I was doing and the teacher told her, "I've never had a student tell me that one of their parents was their personal hero, and you are Suzanne's and here's why..."

        Yeah, Mom couldn't decide if I was in trouble or not.

        by Suzanne77 on Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 02:48:57 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • When my daughter moved out (0 / 0)

          back in the fall, there was a folder of assignments she'd done for one of her composition classes the previous semester.  One was an essay on nature vs. nuture or something similar.  While I know she loves me, I have to admit to almost being in tears over reading how many of what she considered her best qualities she felt she got from me.  

          I never told her I read this.  I never will.  Its just special that I had the opportunity to take a little peak into her thoughts.

          by tjb22 on Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 06:26:01 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        • awesome (0 / 0)

          I thought the internal rhyem scheme of "weasel-assed" and "bastard" was just awesome.

          That was amazing. lol. Made me think of a conversation my daughter and I had not too long ago, in which my daughter was discussing some of the more "colorful" come-backs she had used against derogatory comments hurled at her by kids at school. I told her that I wished she wouldn't use profanity, and instead urged her to rely on her "writer's mind". My favorite insult, which she delivered in her budding freestyle poet's sense of rhythm was:
          "LOW-brow, knuckle-DRAAAAGGING TROG-lo-DYTE"

          by two sevens clash on Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 11:59:02 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  • I think I still rock (0 / 0)

    My DS8 (almost 9) is still strong in the mommy-love phase.  He's a sweetie who still loves and needs his hugs and kisses, and almost every day he tells me how much he loves me.  He does, however, like to tease a little, which I think is a way to begin the distancing that he'll need to do over the next few years.

    My DD16 and I are very close.  I am certainly an embarassment on many days, but I'm also the one who listens to all the venting and drama of her life, and just yesterday she was talking about how much she likes coming home to dinner, doesn't understand her friends who never want to go home to their parents!  I guess the "mom you rock" and "mom you're an embarassment" aren't an either-or thing for us - they sorta both co-exist.

    by Sue in Queens on Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 10:55:27 AM PDT

  • I like the co-existing comment (0 / 0)

    I think I rock, and also don't rock, at the same time for my DS16.It's been that way for years.

    I exclusively rock, though, for my DD1. Ah, the good years ... when they can't talk back yet. ha!

    by Kay on Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 02:23:33 PM PDT

  • I think we still rock, by and large. (0 / 0)

    Our kids seem to go out of their way to tell us how much they like just hanging out with us.  

    One of my daughters was rather competitive with me when she was younger.  We'd be going out somewhere and I'd be in the bathroom getting ready and she'd say things like "you just want to be prettier than me!".  I just let it go.  The upside is they always liked it that other kids liked me.

    by tjb22 on Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 06:22:11 PM PDT

  • pendulum (0 / 0)

    The other night when we were staying with friends, I took the opportunity to jump on their trampoline.  DS walked over to me and made an urgent, nonverbal "stop that this instant!" plea, which I ignored.  Then I lost track of him for a while and I thought maybe he was running away from home because he has the World's Most Embarrassing Mother.

    In private he is lavish with the "I love yous" and the hugs, and today I scored big by buying a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos (rare here).

    by mamacita on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 06:43:23 PM PDT

    • Every now and then its fun, isn't it? (0 / 0)

      Sometimes I purposely try to weird my kids out a bit...nothing like doing the unexpected or telling them about something you did when you were their age!

      by tjb22 on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 07:59:14 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • well (0 / 0)

    i suspect my son feels like i am a bit boring.

    example: mom, when is dad going to pick me up? (two hours after he was dropped off.)

    why honey?

    there are more toys there, mom.

    um, ok. i suppose right now i come across as a bit more stern and disciplinarian than his father. and right now, at five, he is WAY into his daddy. and he and his father have a wonderful relationship, for which i am SO grateful, as neither of us had good relationships with our fathers.

    so i am willing to take a back seat for now, because i know that eventually he will be the doting son. hehheheh

    We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. - E.R. Murrow

    by lorin on Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 07:05:29 PM PDT

  • I keep steeling myself for the inevitable (0 / 0)

    day when I no longer "rock" in my kid's eyes, but it hasn't happened yet.

    Since she was about eight or nine, my now 13 year old DD, has referred to herself as "Little Annie" after me (though at 5'8" she's nearly as tall as I am) and proudly states that she is just like I was at her age . . . which isn't exactly true. She is far more self-confident, true to herself, and socially and politically aware than I ever was at that same age. Even on an off day, she can out feminist me without even really trying. ;-) I try desperately to embarrass her (as I feel it is my motherly duty) but my efforts are usually met with "oh my goddess, mom. you are so cool!"

    Things are a little different with my 14 year old son. He knows that I love him, adore him, that I am his biggest fan, the core of his support network, and his safety net, and always will be, but those that "rock" in his eyes, are the men in his life - his father, his grandfather and great-grandfather, my brother, and my SO. Still, he never walks away or ends a conversation with me without saying "I love you" (and he almost always says it first) and never rolls his eyes when I give him a hug and tell him what an amazing person I think he is. That's good enough for me.

    by two sevens clash on Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 11:43:43 PM PDT

Permalink | 18 comments