I've only ever had female doctors give me gyno exams (in the UK and Australia, it's done by the GP; gynos are for referrals for abnormalities) and I've only ever had positive experiences. I never specifically asked for a woman; it's just how things shook out. I like the two GPs I see at our practice (my main GP is on maternity leave, so this other one is seeing to us in the interim.), so no complaints

However, I was talking to my sister about this and she told me that she didn't think much of the whole issue until she switched gynos in DC from a woman to a man. Her quote? "I'll never go back to a woman." Funny.

I was much more interested in finding a doctor/attendant who was willing to work with me in achieving the kind of delivery I wanted.  I had a great Amish doctor who compared me to his wife at every turn...which was truly a bit bizarre at times.  I later had another male OB that I really, really liked...he was really laid back and shared my weird sense of humor.  During one pregnancy, I saw lay midwives then needed to find an OB.  I visited one that I liked personally, but she had recently had her first baby and really seemed intent upon imposing her own labor experience on me...and I was expecting my sixth baby!  I graciously thanked her for the appointment, then found another doctor...another woman who worked out fine.  During my last pregnancy, I used a certified nurse midwife, and she was fine, too...other than her becoming a bit flaky at the end.  Kept talking about "vibes" a little too much for my taste, but I'd recommend her to anyone.

The one horrible experience I had was with a male OB...he was the type that I truly believe entered this field of work because he had something against women.  I think the jerk rather got off on control and his ability to inflict pain.  Not surprisingly, he was the president of his state's "right to life" chapter at the time.

when DS was born, I asked for a woman and ended up with someone who was totally unsympathetic.  Stripped my membranes without asking when he was late, gave me an episiotomy because she wanted to get home and I was taking too long, stitched me up badly and left me with horrible granular tissue that made it look like an octopus was trying to crawl out...it was a nightmare.

DD introduced me to the love of my gynocological life- Fletch.  I loooove me some Fletch.  He was kind, funny, totally took my concerns seriously and even comiserated  when my least favorite member of the group ended up with the actual delivery. ("Yeah, he can be a jerk.  Sorry about that...") I will NEVER NEVER NEVER go back to a woman.  Sexist?  Hell yes.  But once you've had Fletch, you never go back...

When it came time to get pregnant, I went to a male doctor who had a very "let's solve this problem," proactive attitude. He sent me for tests and prescribed drugs and I firmly believe he helped me overcome my infertility much more quickly than I would have otherwise. However, his bedside manner was rather detached and clinical. Once I was pregnant, I sought a female ob/gyn.

My reasoning was this: I wanted a delivery that was as painless and complication-free as possible. I would say one of my biggest fears was needing an episiotomy. I did NOT want one unless it was absolutely necessary. In my head, I believed a female doctor would be less likely to jump the gun and insist on an episiotomy; I figured a woman wouldn't do anything to me that she wouldn't want done to herself, unless she HAD to. This was just my personal feeling.

I found my doctor through referrals from colleagues; she happened to be Latina, so I felt a kinship. Once I heard that she delivered my friend's twins vaginally with no episiotomy, I was sold (my friend also happened to be over 40). The doc assured me she would do everything possible to avoid an episiotomy and a c-section. Plus I liked the vibe of her fellow docs, NPs and staff. It was a wonderful experience all the way around.

I have since moved and am a little freaked out by the prospect of going through a future pregnancy without Dr. Mendez.

In the end I think it comes down to the individual; but I have found that in comparing make and female pediatricians, the females have been much warmer and more attentive to my daughter, whereas the men are much more business-like. Just my individual observations, but Gloria, that first woman you saw was a grade-A asshat. PLEASE don't assume that all female gynos are like that!

I've had docs of both sexes, for various reasons (and usually a different one every time).  The only major discomfort was inflicted by a male, and I think the women were overall a bit better.  I actually find my preference is more toward NPs over MDs, rather than by gender.  Nurses are just so much better with people.

My favorite was when I said "ow!" during the scraping part, and the NP said, "the textbooks say there are no nerve endings there".  I replied, "That's because the textbooks" (and her she joined me in unison) "WERE WRITTEN BY MEN!"  She laughed and said every single patient she told that to had the exact same response, word for word.

I'll confess to just a teeny tiny bit of discomfort wondering why a male medical student chose gynecology in the first place.

for two reasons - having worked with doctors, I think male doctors are the worst combination of ego and god-complex, and I like to support women in business. I've had myriad female doctors and only 2 were bad. Easy enough to switch. I would not trade my female Internist for the world. DH even goes to her and loves her.

always chooses female primary doctors for the same reason you see a male gyno.

I mostly go to my primary doctor for routine gyn stuff and my primary doctors are always women, but the gynos I've seen have been much of a muchness.  

is they have smaller hands.  After having Dr. Man hands TRY 3 or 4 times to manually remove my placenta, I will only have female doctors.  Everything else, it's about the person, not the gender.  My doctors have been females and males, and I've had good and bad in both categories.

But that was 20 years ago.  As soon as there were more female doctors, I switched.  I have also only taken my daughter, now 20, to female doctors and she now as an adult, has chosen yet another female doctor.  In fact, for her, it would be completely weird for a male to be giving her a check up.

On the other hand, both my 22 year old son and husband have male doctors and they are more comfortable with them.

It is great to have a choice.  As a young woman, I did not.

DH has recently developed a theory that every doctor should have to go through whatever medical procedure they are going to perform before performing it on someone else.  This is based in part on the fact that my sister is an ob/gyn who doesn't have kids, and from time to time her "bedside manner" with me is, well, gruff.  Unintentially, and I think it's more because I'm her sister than because that's her bedside manner since she doesn't tolerate bad bedside manners in colleagues at all.  To be clear, she's not my ob/gyn so this is more in response to the battery of random questions I shoot at her.  Still, DH now claims he will not have a heart transplant unless it's done by someone that, at the very least, has had their ribcage cracked open by power tools.  

For my ob/gyn, I selected a practice pretty randomly but 10 years and 1.5 kids later I still really like them all.  It's a practice of ~7 ob/gyns, maybe 4 women and 3 men, and they are all wonderful and share a low intervention approach that I appreciate.  FWIW the most friendly is one of the men (IMHO), and the most prickly is one of the women.  

They also work with a group of 5 midwives that I will be using for #2.  The midwives also vary a little in bedside manner but I would recommend them to anyone, too.  As we've met the midwives DH has grilled them all on whether or not they have kids, based on his new theory -- they all do.  Thank goodness, I'd hate for him to hold my knees together because the midwife didn't meet specs...

--R

When I was in my 20s I used to get such awful cramps that I would end up imobilized for a couple of days.  My female gynocologist prescribed ibuprofin (before it was OTC) and then opiates.  But then I read some feminist gobbledy-gook about embracing moon cycles or some such thing and tried relaxation techniques and what do you know, it was the only thing that worked.  Years later it turned out to be exactly those same relaxation techniques that allowed me to have two relatively painless unmedicated childbirth experiences.

Over the years I've had enough bad experiences to be very, very reluctant to accept any kind of medical care if I'm not actually sick (and I don't consider menstruating or being pregnant "sick").  For my second child I hired a lay midwife because my experience with hospital ObGyns led me to believe they know plenty about how to do surgery, but they don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies.    

So I think the issue is not so much male or female doctors as that no conventionally trained medical doctor would ever have spouted the feminist gobbledy-gook that offered a workable solution to my problem.
The problem with the whole ObGyn specialty, no matter who practices it, is that an underlying premise is that femaleness is a disease.

from the pain during a gyn exam was with a female doctor.  I think she closed the speculum on some part of my insides where there were nerves.  I will never forget what that felt like.  I agree the female doctors I have met have been less sympathetic and less gentle. The female midwife and physician's assistant were fine, however.

I have a male ob/gyn and while I don't need him for the "ob" part of it any more (he did deliver my son but wasn't at the hospital when my DD was born at 3am!), I do see him for all of my "gyn" needs.  He's a spectacular physician - I couldn't ask for a better doctor for myself.

When my daughter is ready for a gyn, I really hope I can get some recommendations from other moms.  I wouldn't want someone who would hurt her or say something snarky. How unnecessary!

I just took DD (16 yrs old) to the emergency room for severe menstrual cramps.  My DD is tough, not a whiner at all and she was lying on her bed last weekend in a ball, crying in pain.  I've never had any trouble with my period, but the women in my family have, so I took her to the ER.

We had a wonderful female doctor who was sympathetic, caring, gentle and thorough.  It turned out to be an ovarian cyst and the doctor explained that sometimes during the menstrual cycle they can burst and be quite painful.

I've always had male doctors as it just worked out that way, but my experience with DD makes me think I might switch to a female doctor.

We have an appointment in June for DD to get on the pill as it will help with her periods, plus I would rather have her on it.  She has a boyfriend and nothing has happened yet, but my guess is it will be soon.  

and get the HPV vaccine. If that had been available when I was that age, I certainly would have opted for it; genital warts are one of the most common STDs out there.

Also, how do you really know your daughter is a virgin? Even if you have a great relationship, they might not tell you. And I have to be honest, I don't think it's really your business. Even though the legal age of adulthood is 18, people start experimenting with adult activities much earlier. Even "good" girls.

he's been with me through a cervical cancer scare in the early 90s, my pregnancy, he delivered Liza, he performed my recent hysterocopy and D&C,  he was there through my divorce, my sisters death, my mom's death, and my coming out.  He's been through my real adult life wiith me and he's never made me feel rushed or that I'm just a name....I will NEVER give him up LOL .

I have no preference on gender when it comes to this.  I've had some great doctors who were women, some great ones who were men, and some real doozies of both genders!

I have to say though, the worst encounter I ever had was with a midwife.  I called this doctor's office and they seemed to be trying to switch their regular patients to midwives, since they also did a big business in infertility treatment.  So, I was like, ok, sounds fine.  I'm easygoing like that.

Anyhow, she had to take blood, couldn't get it out of my arm, then proceeded to take it out of my hand, which was so painful I cried.  Then, she starts hugging me and rubbing my back, saying, "It's ok, lots of pregnant women are emotional," as if I am having some sort of existential preggers crisis and she didn't just jab the top of my hand 10 times.  I actually walked out in the middle of the appointment and went to a new OB office instead.  Then they called me back to tell me she didn't get enough blood and could I come back to give more? Yeah right.  

I did hear she left midwifery sometime soon after that, thank goodness.

the sentiment that it is much, much less difficult to see the OBGYN when you're a bit younger, before you're sexually active. So much female health has to do with issues that have NOTHING to do with sex (read all the cyst stories) and I am glad that I began going before I had to look at it as a "sex thing." It made me more comfortable going in by myself AFTER I became sexually active.

As for the doctor thing- I loved my obgyn group. All of the doctors were great- I had preferences, but I had my favorite guy and my favorite girl. My least favorite was a woman but that's because she wasn't very nice when I measured "big" at 36 weeks and she sent me in for a 3d ultrasound and freaked me out about brain damage for a good 4 days. So I go into labor, and my fav. female doc was just coming on duty. My LEAST favorite female doc was just coming OFF duty. She decided to stay on for my baby, because apparently 4 of us went into labor within hours of each other. SO I had least favorite doc coming off a long shift... she went and took a nap (thank god) and came back in a better mood, and it all went really well- her aloof attitude wound up working really well with mine in the labor room, and when we got caught up, she was positive and nice about it.

the difference has been the individual, not the gender. My OB who delivered my kids [female] was wonderful, but so was the fertility specialist I saw for three years [male].

My kids' pediatrician does an adolescent practice as well with pelvic exams. I think this will be the best location for my DD's first gyno exam, if she is still living at home when she needs it. I know they have smaller speculums and are used to examining younger patients. Plus I think the comfort level with the woman who has been her doctor all my DD's life would be easier than seeing a stranger.

I will say, though, when I was younger, I was much more comfortable talking to and asking questions of a female doctor rather than a male.

As a side note, my son sees a female pediatrician and I am thinking that at some point I should tell him if he had rather see a male doctor, just let me know. If it were a male doctor I would want my DD to be able to switch if she were uncomfortable.

The weird doctors I've had, both male and female, were all the same brand of awkward and hesitant.  It was just strange.  But my primary care doctor is now an awkward male, and I'm learning to like him.

Simone was born with female nurses and a midwife and doctor who were all wonderful and sympathetic.  With Milo, my female ob-gyn was just...weird and awkward.  I don't think I would see her again with another child.  When I was in labor, she asked if I would mind having an intern in the room.  I assumed she meant a female intern, cause, y'know, interns are girls.  Wrong.  A male who I don't think had ever seen a birth.  It was okay but I wouldn't do it again.

I've had friends say the same thing about female ob-gyns as you do, though, Gloria.  There are just too many people out there who use their own experiences as the measuring stick for everyone else, which seems like the major problem.

overall, but obviously a sympathetic, competent doc is better than a jerk, regardless of gender.

My first "pelvic" exam was performed at age 11 to diagnose a yeast infection. My pediatrician (a sweet man I still love) performed it. However, I cried throught the whole thing. I mean my Mom was there, and he didn't hurt me or anything, but I was just too embarassed. I think that is where my preference for female docs emerged. I was from a house of all girls, we just had an instinctive "girls only" mind-set.

and even my midwife was horribly rough.  My male gynos...great.

My male GP is a mysogynist a-hole, though and I love his "second", a female.

Go figure.