Mother Talkers

Monday Open Thread, Vacation Edition

Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 07:17:00 AM PDT

This Thursday, my little family and I (along with my father) leave for my much needed vacation to New York. I've never been, so I'm very excited. We have tickets to see Gypsy (with Patti Lupone) on Friday evening, and plan to visit the museums, central park, the Empire State Building, and the Statue of Liberty. Any other suggestions?

How's everyone today? What's up with you?

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  • I love NYC. (0 / 0)

    With kids I would totally go to FAO Schwartz...heck, I am 26 and I still enjoy it there.  Also, my hubby and I went to a tour of the UN a little while back.  While the enhanced security measures are a bit intimidating, it is actually pretty awesome when you are touring around it.

  • have a good trip (0 / 0)

    What a great time of year to come to New York!  The weather here is wonderful now, not too cold, not too hot, all the trees are blooming.  Bring warm coats though, it's still chilly (one day is 75, today is 45).  Have a wonderful time.

  • art galleries (0 / 0)

    We love wandering in and out of all the galleries in Chelsea.  If you like art, that is.

    The Museum of Natural History is amazing.  There are parts that haven't been updated in 30 (or 50) years and there are brand spanking new exhibitions.  It's just an amazing place.  

    We just love walking around the Village and SoHo, it's just such a great walking city, in contrast to where you are coming from!

    Will you be there next weekend?  I'm going to be in the City overnight with a girlfriend. We're running the Lincoln Tunnel 5K on Sunday morning!

  • Been to NYC in summer (0 / 0)

    But DH claims I've seen nothing until I've been there at Christmastime, so we plan to do that someday.

    I'm hosting a baby shower on Saturday, so I'm spending the week giving my house the long-overdue spring cleaning (like, about three springs' worth of cleaning).  My friend is having a girl, so we're all so excited, because the last five years or so, it's been about five to one for boys.  DH has six high school friends with whom he's still good buddies.  Among the seven of them, there are 12 children and only one is a girl, and she's the last child of a guy who had three kids.  Three are expecting again, but I still think the odds of a group of guys having so many sons is kind of weird.

  • jealous! (0 / 0)

    gloria, have a great time.  here is a list of my faves...and when people visited where we took them when i lived there:

    1.  circle tour of manhattan. i always recommend this as best place to start. you get a great view quickly of the island.  you  go past statue of liberty. and you get a great view of the bridges.
    1. little italy. great on a warm night. good food spots and lots of knockoff handbag places that i bet both you and your dd would like.  a unique nyc neighborhood.  
    1.  you could spend a day down in soho which is fun and then head over to little italy..closeby. you could also hit chinatown, although not one of the best ctown's  imo.
    1.  the central park zoo.  it is a lovely small zoo inside the park. a wow polar bear exhibit.  and central park isn't to be missed. the bronx zoo is one of the country's best if you have a near day to spend.
    1. Times Square...but sounds like you have that covered with theater tix.
    1. St Patrick's Cathedral in midtown.  You can hit that if you go to Museum of Art.  Also shopping 5th Ave, Trump Plaze, Waldorf and I really like the Oak Room at the Plaza for a drink.  Might not work with the kiddos.
    1. Museums:
    • Natural History..big dinosaurs :)
    • Museum of Art..not to be missed, great impressionist collection and Egyptian
    • Museum of Modern Art...great too
    • The Guggenheim.  i particulary like this one
    • The Frick..although maybe not too interesting for the kids
    • The Cloisters...this another fave of mine, but may be out of the way
    • the Library..not a museum but beautiful. If you are wandering midtown you can at least walk past it.
    1. Wall Street.  Interesting architecture.
    1.  The Village: just cause i have as #9 it is high on my list.  Great place and fun to walk...lots of bookstores and  more.  Also if you want another theater, don't dismiss off Broadway.

    Hints:

    1.  good walking shoes! i wouldn't wear flip flops.  best way to see manhattan is to just walk it.
    1.  taxis:  if you find yourself downtown, soho, village, little italy...be aware that taxi shift change is at 5pm so anytime after 4pm, forget about hailing a cab.
    1.  subway:  but do take the subways.  cheap and easy and if you are downtown in late afternoon, only way really to get out unless you hoof it.

    there is so much more and i am sure everyone will add more. you and family will have a blast!

    • Thank you! (0 / 0)

      Such great suggestions! I had never heard of the whole taxi situation, so I'm very grateful for the bit of information!

      I'm hoping to get as much in as I can. But it sounds as if I'm going to have to plan another trip...soon!

    • I love The Cloisters. (0 / 0)

      And not only is the museum cool for those of us who have a history fetish, the setting of the museum is really beautiful, too.  

      The weather is really right to do the walking tour of downtown, too.  I think a map can be picked up that designates all of the colonial and revolutionary sites.  

      When in Greenwich Village, be sure to hit The Strand...one of the most awesome bookstores ever.

      And ofcourse, when you go to Central Park, Strawberry Field is a must...if you're a Beatles fanatic like I am, anyway.  And this isn't far from the Dakota building where John Lennon was shot.  Yeah, its kind of gruesome, but we have photos of all of us standing in the place he died.

      Little Italy in the evening, absolutely.  I love just looking at all the pastries displayed in the windows.  

      I mentioned Coney Island in my post below, too...not sure what's open there now, but it's not going to be there much longer.  

      And the subway system is great...and very easy to use.

    • Great List (0 / 0)

      The only thing I would add is a place off of Time's Square called "Bird Land". One of the oldest jazz spots in town with top notch acts. I don't know what the age limit is though. I think it's named after Charlie Parker, whom they used to call "The Bird", but don't quote me on that. Anyway, it's a fun place if you like jazz.

      Love NYC. Almost moved there then I met my SO. I had to make a choice and on most days I think I made the right decision. :)

    • No, no (0 / 0)

      No flips!  Ouch!

  • Have a great time! (0 / 0)

    I got to see a panel discussion with the Dalai Lama in it on Friday, after all.  I thought I had signed up too late, but at the last minute a friend called with an extra ticket.  It would have been great, but I got the worst migraine I've ever had as I was sitting and trying to listen.  Still, I'm glad I got to go.

    Saturday the same friend and I took the kids to the Skagit Valley tulip festival.  Hours and hours in the car just to walk amongst tulips for maybe 20 minutes, but I'd do it again next year.  I'd plan it better, though.

    Just drudgery this week, though.  Off to swimming lessons in an hour, but I do like swimming lessons.

  • We had family visiting this weekend (0 / 0)

    Which was great since we were still celebrating the Jayhawk's national championship.

    We went to the parade downtown and you can actually see my family in this photo along with about 80,000 of our closest friends.  ;-)

  • Have a great visit (0 / 0)

    I echo the recommendation for the Museum of Natural History - something there for everyone and too much for one day.

    Times Square is a must-see, of course, and there are almost no New Yorkers there lol, it's tourists from around the world, but how can you pass it up?  There is a HUGE Toys-R-Us there that has an indoor ferris wheel, and tons of other stores etc.

    There's a cool new exhibit at the Guggenheim.  I haven't seen it yet, but Seth says it was really fun.  There's an "exploded" car hanging in the foyer.  The exhibit is the first by a Chinese artist, where it's all his stuff.  http://www.guggenheim.org/...

    Two warnings for you

    1. next week is NYC School Vacation week - every single place where there could be kids will be PACKED!  AMNH, for example, will have lines out the door to get in and will be filled to the top.  It's a huge museum, so it can handle the crowds, but their cafeteria (which is actually a good value for reasonably good food) will have waiting lines.  Don't let it keep you away from anything, but just know there will be kids everywhere!
    1. The Pope is visiting NYC Th-Sun.  He'll be at the UN on Friday and at Yankee Stadium on Saturday.  There may be some road closings to watch out for.

    The weather is predicted to be good, but this time of year, it's rare to get above 65-70, and still cool/cold at night.

    Have a great time!

  • Oh, you're lucky! (0 / 0)

    And this is my favorite time of year to go to New York. We're trying to possibly plan a trip for this summer, somewhat against my better judgment.  We went a couple years ago in July, and I was pretty much house bound the entire time.  I went down to the little carry out store one time that was just next door to the apartment we rented and I passed out.  We were able to go out more in the evenings and at night however.

    Not sure what the weather is going to be like, but if you get the chance, you might want to get down to Coney Island one last time.  Its really cheezy, but you know, my kids really kinda liked it.  

  • New York (0 / 0)

    I enjoyed NY a lot- I would say everything listed above is groovy! I liked the double decker bus trip I took too.

    I am cranky. Need to calm down. So my boss comes out today with a jar and says that if we want to, we as an office (that is FOUR people now) can start a thing where if we're here "late" meaning, past 8:00 am, we have to put $.50 in the jar, and then the person who put the least amount of money in the jar gets it.
    Let me just say, it is construction season. It takes me an hour and 10 minutes to get here, and I have a kid, so sorry, no, if I walk in at 8:05 like I did today, that is not LATE. Essentially, I will have to start the whole morning 15 minutes earlier so I can get here EARLY, because traffic is easily 20 minutes unpredictable, give or take, plus I am the only person in our tiny office with a kid who has to do a drop off. So it feels like a penalty. Seriously, if Lily wants me to stay and help her eat breakfast for 5 minutes, I will now have to pay for that privilege.

    WHICH, ok, I am calmer now and I realize that if the 8am start time is really important to my boss, than fine, I will adjust the whole shebang and morning, which means the whole family gets up 15 minutes ealier (btw, when I hired on, I tried to negotiate starting at 8:30 b/c of my morning drop off and it was a flat "no"). I will do it, but it feels like a mommy tax, because mornings are tough. BUT, if this adjustment has me here at 7:50? I'm leaving at 4:50. It wouldn't bug if I wasn't here 30-50 minutes later, on average, every day than 5. Gah. With gas costing me over $40 a week to get here, I can't deal with another $10 for being 2 minutes late, you know? I'm just bitter.

    • Bitter?! (0 / 0)

      No wonder you support Obama. ;-)

      Seriously though, that would bug me too. It seems like a really passive aggressive way for your boss to single you out. Not cool. If boss REALLY wants you there at 8 a.m. sharp every day, the right thing to do is take you aside and tell you so, not come up with some BS "late jar" ploy.

      And the hour-long commute just sounds awful. My commute is much shorter and I'm still feeling the sting of the gas prices. Times are just tough. I'm ITA with Obama on that.

      • :) (0 / 0)

        yes, I'm a bitter obama supporter! :)

        What's funny is the other younger guy has traffic issues too sometimes. I just can't get around the 8am being THE line when we all stay later than the boss does... morning traffic in chicago is unpredictable!!!

    • I agree... (0 / 0)

      it just sounds like a way of singling you out. Normally employers have a grace period (don't they?), where it's not considered late if you arrive 5 or 10 minutes after your scheduled arrival time and anytime after that is considered "late". Review your employee handbook and see what the grace period is, and then see if you can work around that.

    • Hmmm (0 / 0)

      There are pros and cons to working for a small startup.  Typically the benefits suck, but usually one of the things to make up for this is fewer rules and more freedom.  But it sounds like you got the worst of both worlds.

      How about flipping it around?  Tell your passive aggressive boss this is a GREAT idea.  In front of everybody, describe how very important that one last hug can be for a toddler, what a huge difference it can make for both your day and hers.  Then cheerfully drop a $10 bill in the jar as an advance on the month.  

      $10 to buy yourself out of the stress of absolute punctuality is a serious bargain.  If the boss decides maybe this wasn't the response she was hoping for you've at least made your point.  But I'm sorry to hear that this job isn't sounding like the great fit you were hoping it would be.

      • That? (0 / 0)

        is brilliant. I second that idea -- perfect!

      • that is a sweet idea (0 / 0)

        actually, I was thinking of getting a roll of quarters for my desk, but money in the jar in advance sounds even more snarky :)

      • Reminds me of something I read (0 / 0)

        It was in the book "Freakonomics".  A day care started charging for late pick-up as a way to discourage it. But many parents were happy to pay for the extra time, so the new policy increased late pick-ups instead. Paying the fee eliminated the guilt factor.  

        • Maya's old day care (0 / 0)

          had a $1 per minute late fee. I never did have to pay (I squeaked by) and don't think anyone else did, either...in fact, I was always one of the last people there picking up my child! Made me feel bad but I went into work later than most.

        • Can't tell (0 / 0)

          how you feel about it, you seem to just be reporting what you read without judgment.  Still, for some reason, I feel compelled to say that daycare workers have lives, too, and have every right to make plans after work that shouldn't be interrupted by late parents.  The fee shouldn't eliminate the guilt factor.  

          I'm not meaning to attack you, and I hope I don't come off that way!  It's got nothing to do with you, I just read that and it looked like one more thing that parents often do at daycare to show how little they appreciate the people who care for their children all day.

          • It wasn't a comment about daycare workers (0 / 0)

            It was a comment about psychology that I thought was interesting and related to her office "tardy jar".  

            I don't think the jar will make people be on time.

            • Caught my attention (0 / 0)

              because of the daycare angle, which is a hot button for me.  But it got me thinking about lateness in general.  

              I don't agree with salaries and honestly think everyone in the country should be punching a time clock.  In reality, the result of flexible work hours is companies stealing hours and hours of free labor.  

              But, since most professionals aren't currently paid by the hour, I think it comes down to common courtesy.  If you are chronically late, do you have the kind of job where you are inconveniencing someone else, or does it just annoy some control freak?  In Melissa's case, it appears to be the latter.  Obviously we all have emergencies on occasion, but they should be infrequent.  It would be nice to be able to rely on common decency on both ends, but alas that doesn't always work.  

              Agree, though, that the late jar is stupid and the "problem" should be confronted directly.

        • our fee (0 / 0)

          Our old preschool, which was a full daycare center too, had a TEN DOLLAR PER MINUTE fee for late pickup.

          I doubt they had many late pickups!

          • I think in the study I mentioned (0 / 0)

            part of the problem was that the fee was $3 per day.  It was too low to be effective.  This is also the problem with the tardy jar.  I think Lyn's plan to pay up front for a month would surely work... and put an end to the idea.  ;-)

            All just interesting psychology in my opinion.  I worked for a non-profit that served youth.  Timely pick-up was a issue for us too and we struggled with this idea of fees as well.

      • LOVE IT! (0 / 0)

        Totally throw it back in her face.  Awesome.

    • justifiably bitter (0 / 0)

      I hate the passive-aggressive boss move.  

      And I know traffic has been torture, we're just moving from "snow" to "construction" season so there's no winning.  

      --R

    • ooooo. (0 / 0)

      I hate managers like this.  Anal-retentive clock watchers.  Does that stupid 5 minutes really matter???

    • God (0 / 0)

      what a condescending control freak.  I like lyn's idea.

    • me, I'd pay the 50 cents (0 / 0)

      It would be so worth having that wiggle room in the morning.

      But I doubt that would go over well with the Boss Man, who should have just come out and told you to get there on time if that's what this is all about.  

      I actually turned down a job with a boss who would check the parking lot every morning at 8:00 and have a cross word for anyone who was late.  I sometimes need a little time to pull things together in the morning, either mommy stuff or health stuff.  But I always do at least my paid hours and usually more, so I want the professional courtesy to recognize that I'm a grown up and I'll get my work done, even if I start a little late.

      • Exactly (0 / 0)

        so I want the professional courtesy to recognize that I'm a grown up and I'll get my work done, even if I start a little late.

        I had a boss who wanted me to write my people up for being late. I never did and told him to back off. I let them come and go as they pleased, and as long as their work was done I was happy. If they took a long lunch, so what? If they left a little early or came in late sometimes, who cares? The culture in the entire office shifted and people wanted to work hard since they knew they weren't being micromanaged or treated like children. Several other managers saw the change in my department and lightened up on their employees, too. It worked really well for my small group - especially once I got my boss to settle down (who, BTW was always late and always left early!). I know, however, this doesn't work for retail folks and other service workers, but in an office environment it should (unless one is the receptionist and then you must be there to answer the phones on time!).

        • yes! (0 / 0)

          That is why it bugs- it treats us like infants.

          Rolled in at 7:59-1/2 with the boss man right behind so yeah, no money today but I almost killed myself weaving in traffic to save those few minute (we are talking literal minutes here, too) AND I left 10 minutes earlier just to get stuck behind school buses, so there you go.

  • Thank you Gloria! (0 / 0)

    We're doing NYC for my husband's 40th in June and this diary is perfect!  

    I childproofed my house but they got back in somehow.

    by lonestar canuck on Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 10:06:20 AM PDT

  • rough weekend (0 / 0)

    Maya developed a fever Saturday evening; we gave her Motrin and put her to bed with a 100 degree temp.

    She woke up Sunday and she was burning up-- her skin was hot and flushed all over. I took her temp and the ear thermometer said 104.5. It took all my self control not to scream. That just seemed scarily high to me.

    More Motrin and a lukewarm bath got her temp down to 102. With the triage nurse on the phone we were able to rule out the really bad stuff like meningitis.

    By the time we got her to Urgent Care, her temp was normal. No ear infection, negative for strep. Her only other symptoms are slight lethargy, crankiness and mild diarrhea. Today she woke up with a dry cough, no temp, still cranky. She keeps saying she has an "owie" in her mouth, but all looks OK in there. I am guessing it's a sore throat. She's home with DH and I want to be there too, but can't. When she is sick is the only time she specifically wants her mommy. But work calls...ugh.

    I know none of this compares to the medical issues that some of our MTers have to deal with on a daily basis, but I have never felt terror like that. I forget how vulnerable being a parent and loving a small person so much can make you feel.

    OK, done venting...

    • sorry :( (0 / 0)

      yeah, baby in pain is TERRIFYING. I have never known fear like that. I can't imagine what it's like when it's a bigger deal, you know.

      I hope Maya gets better right quick!!!

    • "my mouth hurts" (0 / 0)

      When Liza was a toddler she kept saying that  during one bad cold and I thought she meant her throat. When we took her to the doctor her doctor said "no. she means her MOUTH. listen to your child"  apparently this particular virus could manifest in sores IN her mouth - so it may be worth checking that out with Maya's doctor.  Antibiotics cleared it right up.  

      I hope she feels better soon! high temps are so scary.  Liza is just getting over slight pneumonia in one of her lungs and she still sounds like a 3 pack a day smoker!

      • doc checked her mouth (0 / 0)

        when we went to Urgent Care, said she didn't see any sores and her throat was red but not outrageously so. Sigh. I will take another peek in there tonight...

        And I'm glad Liza is on the mend!

    • O.M.G.!! (0 / 0)

      How terrible! There is nothing scarier than seeing your child "not themselves" and so vulnerable. I remember when Cristian developed a high fever, a few days after his 3rd birthday. He was sleeping all day, and would wake up only to drink water, then go back to sleep. I took him to the doctor, and he was diagnosed with Pneumonia. He was hospitalized for a week. Seeing him with all these tubes sticking out of him was heartbreaking. I wouldn't leave his sight for a minute, and even slept in the crib with him.

      I'm glad Maya is doing better. But don't hesitate to call me if you need ANYTHING!

    • update (0 / 0)

      DH just called to let me know that Maya is back to her normal self this afternoon...energetic and alert and fever-free. (Isn't that strange? Like a 24-hour virus or something...)

      BUT...we babied her all day yesterday so she's demanding 7-Up in her sippy cup and Thomas DVDs. So she's milking it like the mini-diva that she is. Poor kid...I'm sure it's hard to understand why she gets whatever she wants one day and the next, it's back to the grind!

      • Glad she's feeling better (0 / 0)

        so hard to watch them fight it off, but probably good for her in the long run!

        --R

        • thanks! (0 / 0)

          the triage nurse on the phone did make it a point to tell me, "Fever is good, it means her body is fighting the infection." I had just never seen a temp that high. Scary!

          • fevers (0 / 0)

            One of my son's symptoms is a problem with body temperature control (he can't sweat).  It wasn't until I delved into that topic that I learned that much of what I thought I knew about fever in normal children is incorrect.  The following is for a child over age 2:

            Myths and Facts about Fever

            Misconceptions about the dangers of fever are commonplace. Unwarranted fears about harmful side effects from fever cause lost sleep and unnecessary stress for many parents. Let the following facts help you put fever into perspective:

            MYTH: All fevers are bad for children.

            FACT: Fevers turn on the body's immune system. Fevers are one of the body's protective mechanisms.

            Most fevers are good for children and help the body fight infection. Use the following definitions to help put your child's level of fever into perspective:

                  100°F to 102°F     Low-grade fever: Beneficial. Try
                  (37.8°C to 39°C)   to keep the fever in this range.  

                  102°F to 104°F     Moderate-grade fever: Beneficial.
                  (39°C to 40°C)

                  Over 104°F         High fever: Causes discomfort, but
                  (40°C)             is harmless.

                  Over 105°F         High fever: Higher risk of
                  (40.6°C)           bacterial infections.

                  Over 108°F         Serious fever:  The fever itself can
                  (42°C)             be harmful.

            MYTH: Fevers cause brain damage or fevers over 104°F (40°C) are dangerous.

            FACT: Fevers with infections don't cause brain damage. Only body temperatures over 108°F (42°C) can cause brain damage.

            MYTH: All fevers need to be treated with fever medicine.

            FACT: Fevers need to be treated only if they cause discomfort. Usually that means fevers over 102°F or 103°F (39°C or 39.4°C).

            MYTH: Without treatment, fevers will keep going higher.

            FACT: Wrong. Because of the brain's thermostat, fevers from infection top out at 105°F or 106°F (40.6°C or 41.1°C) or lower.

            MYTH: With treatment, fevers should come down to normal.

            FACT: With treatment, fevers usually come down 2° or 3°F (1.1° or 1.7°C).

    • scary, scary! (0 / 0)

      I swear, high fevers make me totally panicked. I'm glad that it seems like nothing serious and I hope Maya mends soon!

  • Had a great weekend! (0 / 0)

    My parents came for their first stay in our  new house!  The "rain and thunderstorms" predicted for the weekend never showed up, so G & G (as my son calls them) got to see his Little League game.  Mom and Leah and I went flower shopping and found a few things to put in the garden.  And my house passed inspection - my parents love it, slept well both nights, and were able to negotiate the stairs to our guest room (not in the basement, my mom says, in our "lower level" LOL).  It was so nice to have them here in the house, and not in a hotel - more homey, easier, and (last but not least) cheaper!

  • SO JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (0 / 0)

    Patti LuPone in Gypsy!  OMG, that's the Broadway ticket of the YEAR.  I so desperately want to go see that show!!!!!!!!!

    So, so, so jealous...

  • NYC, baby! (0 / 0)

    I'm pretty jealous, and will expect a report upon your return...as I'm going back for my college reunion (NYU) in May and would love some tips to impress my pals with.

    In addition to the wonderful places already listed, let me add a few specific locations:

    1. Peanut Butter and Company, in the Village - this is a great place to take people of all ages.  Sandwiches, desserts, many, many peanut butter options. YUM!
    1. There's a place that is all about Mac and Cheese.  All different kinds, varieties.  YUM AGAIN.  (I'll try to find the location and post again).
    1. 6th Street between 1st and 2nd Avenues - many delicious Indian restaurants.  Pick any one and ENJOY!

    For the love of all that is holy, visit the Strand.  Just heavenly.

  • hope you have a great trip, Gloria (0 / 0)

    you totally have earned it. I don't have much to add to what everyone else has said. My stomping grounds, such as they are, were the village, thanks to a fantastic, fun, extraordinary summer as an intern at the Village Voice. I can spend hours there...

    All good here; nothing of great import to report. Autumn is well upon us, which means all my colder-weather veggies are doing well - we've got broccoli, cauliflower, beets, carrots, parsnips, beans and all sorts of "greens" a-go-go. I love it!

  • Have a GREAT trip (0 / 0)

    It's one of my favorite places to visit.

    Did anyone mention seeing "Ground Zero?" and the Cathedral close by where there are some moving testimonials that were created during that time?  My family visited there and were extremely moved by what we saw.  It's definitely worth the effort.   I copied some info about St. Paul's Chapel below....a must see, imo..

    St. Paul’s Chapel
    St. Paul’s Chapel, an Episcopal church, was home to an extraordinary eight-month volunteer relief effort after September 11, 2001.  The exhibition Unwavering Spirit honors that ministry and its legacy of love and compassion. St. Paul’s Chapel is Manhattan’s oldest public building in continuous use.

    St. Paul's Chapel is located on Church St. between Fulton St. and Vesey St., opposite the east side of the World Trade Center site. For more information, visit http://www.saintpaulschapel.org/...

    Directions to the World Trade Center site

    Interactive map and directions
    Click here for interactive map and directions using HopStop

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