started kindegarten young, and he was always a little immature compared with his classmates. He did well academically, but my mom always wondered if she should have waited out the year. Now that she is a teacher, she says she should have kept him back. It may have benfitted him socially.

IMHO, I think it really depends on the child. I know that boys tend to take a little longer to mature than girls. I worry about my boys getting left behind as it is. Jack is so high energy that I worry that he'll have trouble sitting still in school when he gets older. I'm hoping that pre-school will help prepare him for that. He's only 2 and I am already thinking about it. Sigh.

17 when I graduated high school and when I started college.  I have always been super young.  I didn't ever have any problems with it.  I actually really liked it.  However, perhaps there is some gender related issues as well.

I am good friends with a couple who have two children 14 mos apart.  They  had to hold the eldest child back in kindergarden, thus holding up the younger child because they didn't want the two in the same year in school.  I think everyone will turn out fine.  However, the younger child is MUCH more ready to be in a school program than the older child (due to developmental delays).  I think they planned to put the younger child in some sort of all day pre-school program.

He started kindergarten at age 5 but he was always nearly a year younger than most of the boys in his grade.

At that time--18 years ago--most parents were holding their boys back if they had summer birthdays.  My son was ready academically and socially but he did have trouble with writing and art projects.  Also, the other boys being a year older had an advantage with sports and this became quite evident when my son was in high school.

I don't think I would do anything differently but it does seem to make a difference if a boy is younger than his peers.

... everyone was 5 years old.  By the time my children were, half the class was 6, rather than 5.  (My daughter went from being the tallest -- in her age-only pre-school class -- to being only average in K.) It was astonishing how much more they learned than when I was in K.

My first 2 children were born in May and June.  But the third was born in September.  His pre-school teacher (a credidentialed teacher), nagged us the whole year to NOT put him in kindergarten at age 4.  But we did.  I think we should have listened to her.  He did seem to be more immature than the others.  Although he had no trouble with the academics.

There is so much more than academics to kindergarten.

I graduated hs at 17,didn't turn 18 until my second semester in college and never had a problem. My husband on the other hand has a May birthday and wasn't quite 18 when he graduated and wishes he had been held back a year.Academically he did really well,and physically he was as big or bigger than most classmates(he's 6'3)he just hated being the youngest and wasn't really mentally ready for college in general let alone West Point where he went to school. Carter will be 5 Tuesday (another April Fools Baby) and we have decided to send him to Kindergarten next year. Had you even asked me in December,the answer might have been different. He's smart as a whip,can read and write,is funny,does well in social situations,adapts easily,has lots of friends and loves school but until recently he just flat out refused to stand up for himself in any way shape or form to the point that his teachers and I all had concerns about sending him to K next year. I don't know what changed but one morning he woke up and wasn't afraid to tell child X(the class bully but one of Carter's good friends)"no" anymore or disregard his(kid X) "rules" about not playing with other children X didn't like,telling appropriately when X hit,shoved,pinched etc. so who knows I guess all of our discussions about thinking for yourself,being a friend to everyone and standing up for yourself just clicked one day or Carter just decided he didn't want to play the game X decided everyone would play that day. I think it just depends on the kid.

Around here the cutoff is late August, so with Simone (January) there is no question that she will start kindergarten at age 5.  Milo's birthday is in late September, so he gets to be one of the oldest kids in his class just due to the hand he was dealt, and I'm glad of it.

I don't know why anyone would rush into putting their kids in kindergarten, and find that I am instinctively bothered by our need to hurry our kids out of their early childhood.  My personal philosophy is that for a good long time (I would prefer eight or nine but will settle on kindergarten, as convention dictates) kids should play, explore any interests that emerge and not be pushed into things they have no interest in.  I'm proud of the things that Simone has educated herself about (mummies, snakes, dinosaurs and death have been the big ones) and make no apologies that she has zero interest in reading or writing.  She will get there.  It gets me very hot and bothered that kindergarten is the new first grade.  I feel strongly that kindergarten should be a transitional year that gets kids ready for school.  IMO, we don't need a new first grade (we already had one); we need an old kindergarten.  I prefer a play-based preschool, but I know that if her preschool was 100% play-based my kids would start kindergarten already behind, which would not feel good, so I have Simone in a school with a more balanced philosophy.

My 92 year old grandfather is a brilliant man who has led a successful life.  But he still has some resentment toward his mother, who worked with him so much during his early childhood that he started school in third grade and graduated high school at 15.  He was bullied in school because he was so much younger.  And at 15, he couldn't do anything but wait three years for college anyway.

have Dec. birthdays so this wasn't an issue for us.

However, my brother and I both have August birthdays. My parents have often remarked on how difficult the first school years were for my brother, as the youngest in class [Aug 17 birthday]. But, I don't think they considered holding him back because 1. that would have meant we were in the same grade or they would have had to hold me back, too, and 2. my parents were teachers with not a lot of money, and holding a kid back meant paying for another year of daycare, not an attractive option to them.

My brother is very  bright and is a physician now, but I think his maturity level in those early years caused it to be a bit harder. I would say that by mid-elementary school he was fine and caught up to his peers.

we decided to let almost all of our children have another year.  For three of them, it had to do with changing schools.  They were going into schools where students were more academically advanced, and we thought thought it better to repeat an early grade rather than struggle through years of trying to catch up.  Our oldest, the twins, have August birthdays and the public school they attended at the time offered a "pre-first grade" that we took advantage of.

One of my daughters did graduate at 17...my twins graduated at 18, and my son was 19.  My other two sons will be a year late, too.  

I have never regretted this.  In the scheme of things, I think allowing kids a little more "kid time" is often a good thing.  You know your son better than I do, but honestly, I can't imagine sending a child to kindergarten be he's five.  

We redshirted my younger son this year.  It was a tough decision - academically and socially he was more than ready for kindergarten.  But his birthday is in October (early Dec cutoff), and he's smaller than most kids a year younger.  Who sends their son to kindy wearing size 2T pants?  In addition to being tiny, he's really really cute - people naturally respond to him as though he were younger than he actually is.

We were fortunate in that a local private school runs a Jr K that is specifically for redshirted kids.  (A recruitment tool, I'm guessing, though it didn't work for us.)  Six months later I'm really glad we made this decision - it wasn't obvious at the time, but it is now clear that this was the right choice.  The downside is that I'm afraid my son may be insanely bored next year in kindy, which is only half day.  I hope that doesn't inspire his troublemaking streak.

Between starting school early and skipping grades, I wound up a full 2 years younger than my classmates throughout most of my schoolin'. Talk about misery. I think my parents were both stoked to save on childcare and flattered by the 'your child is brilliant' evaluation, so I forgive them, but I will never ever subject my (brilliant and gifted, natch) child to that circle of hell.

I think, seriously, that the social aspect of school is as or more important than the academics. While I felt ready to attend college at 16, I certainly wasn't ready to talk graphically about sex at 9, drink behind the barn at 13, or start gettin' busy at 14. You keep up with your peers any way you can, and when you're finally able to actually make friends when things start evening out post-puberty it takes a while to maintain a sense of self amidst the gratitude. I'm just sayin'.

The one common thread to the conversation:  no one we know has ever been sorry about holding back their child, but many are regretful that they didn't hold their child back when they had the chance.

We have a neighbor who held their child back at third grade.  They transferred him to another school, and things have worked out beautifully for him.

My child has an early-in-the-year birthday, so it wasn't an issue for us, but if kiddo had been born in August, I would have had to think long and hard about potentially redshirting the child.

I feel for the third grader in the quoted story.   The problems with teasing, and loosing his friends as they move on a grade is certainly very real.  But I also feel for him in terms of the dullness of having to study the same material again for another year.   It isn't just time spent working more on math and language - it is rereading the same stories, studying the same history, repeating the same science... What a difficult call.

Erin

and was placed in a Developmental Kinder.  It turned out to be perfect for him.  We feel very fortunate that he had three part-time years of play-based nursery school, and then 8 years of elementary in mixed-age groupings.  He'll be 18 when he graduates high school.

To this day my mom regrets being skipped in elementary school.  She was super bright but small, and felt socially very out of her league.  It really is amazing what an impact that can have on some people, and how long it can last.  My older brother was a good candidate for skipping but after her own experience, my mom wouldn't hear of it.

I have struggled with this some with our second DS.  The problem for us is that we are affected by what people around us do.  DS will be 5 at the end of April.  The cutoff here just got moved to Oct 1st (had been Sept. 15) so theoretically he should be fine to start kindergarten in the fall - he'll be 5 and 4 months when school starts.  The problem is that around here just about ALL the summer birthday kids wait a year so suddenly my child will be one of the youngest in the class.  It seems like no matter when they set the deadline people will push it and create a new artificial one, because nobody wants their child to be the youngest.  Well, somebody has to be, I guess, so this time it will be mine.  I hope we're doing the right thing for him.

is a July birthday.  We sent him to K when he turned 5.  I never at the time would have imagined that would not be an appropriate decision.  However, in some ways, and I think perhaps particularly because he plays most of the time with his significantly younger brother, I think he is a little socially immature for his grade.  Being on the younger side is part of this.  He is in a combination-age class at school and tends to play and work more often with the kids in the younger half of the class.  So in retrospect sometimes I think it might not have been a bad idea to hold him back.  But he is performing several grade levels above his academically so maybe not.

I guess I'm of two minds on this, but I can now see more of a reason for red-shirting than I did before.

My DS will be 5 next January. He has been in pre-school for the past 1 1/2 and has been doing great. For months now I assumed that he would be starting kindergarten this August. I was excited for him, because "I just know he's ready,", but I was also looking forward to using the money I spend now for the private pre-school on a personal trainer for myself. So, I went to the elementary school a few weeks ago to get the enrollment packet only to learn that the cut-off date is Dec. 2. At first I was really disappointed, more for him than for myself (the personal trainer can wait). After I talked to his pre-school teacher she was so positive about it, she basically said, "Good. Kids do much better in school when they start older." I felt a little better after speaking to her, but wasn't 100% about it. I ended up enrolling him in a pre-kindergarten class in the same private school. After reading everyone's posts I feel much better about having to wait. Dominic will be turning 6 just a few months after he starts kindergarten next year.

The one common thread to the conversation:  no one we know has ever been sorry about holding back their child, but many are regretful that they didn't hold their child back when they had the chance.

This really drove the point home for me (Thanks Exurban Mom).

we had the choice of having them be the youngest in their classes or the oldest.

Ultimately, we chose holding them back, and think we made the right choice.  

that cut-off dates vary so much. Our cutoff date is September 1.

my girls were both four when they started kindergarten, and I really have no regrets.  The oldest, a freshman, is a little immature emotionally, but is doing wonderfully.  My younger one, in sixth grade is freakishly mature and bright, so I look on starting her when we did as skipping a grade without the hassles.  (our school system makes is almost impossible to skip kids ahead, this in spite of an AG program in name only.)

Do I think this is universal and all late birthdays should be started?  No.  But look at the child, not just the birthday.  

I spent 2 years lobbying my school district to enact a policy that would allow children to skip a grade.  My daughter has a Sept. birthday, and our state has a Sept 1 cutoff.  She missed by 2 weeks.  She came to me in 1st grade begging to be allowed to skip - she was bored out of her mind.  After she made the skip, I saw her blossom both academically and socially.  She is currently in 4th grade, and her group of friends are primarily 5th graders - on average, 18 months older than her.  She fits in just fine.  

A grade skip or an early start isn't right for every gifted kid, but it certainly was for mine.  (Research on grade skipping is available at www.geniusdenied.org)

will turn 18 in September of his senior year. He's 16 now, and when it was time to start him in school, the cutoff date was Sept. 10 in Illinois. So, he missed it by three days. I remember researching at the time and deciding, like many of you, that it would be better for him to be one of the oldest boys in the class instead of the youngest.

So, we waited until he was almost 6 to go to kindergarten, and I'm glad we did. He seems fine with it now, too. :)

My daughter is a candidate for grade skipping. So far, the consensus at our home is: as long as she is sufficiently academically challenged, why skip a grade in happy, friendly, warm elementary school? If you're going to skip a grade, how about skipping a year of that hell known as Junior High? Personally, I would have liked to have skipped Junior High entirely; maybe thay's why I've erased it from my memory.
As for Ari's situation, it seems plenty reasonable to me (though possibly expensive) to keep him in preschool while he's 4. A lot of public schools won't take kids into kindergarten until they turn 5, anyway.