Mother Talkers

The Beauty Industry Takes Aim at Little Girls

Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 12:41:02 PM PDT

If you're a mother to a little girl, hang on to your hat: the beauty industry has set its sights on your 6 to 9-year-old, according to this New York Times article. The goal: to create ever-younger consumers:

Traditionally, young girls have played with unattended M.A.C. eye shadow or Chanel foundation, hoping to capture a whiff of sophistication. In the recent past, young girls have also tagged along on beauty expeditions by their mothers and teenage sisters.

But today, cosmetic companies and retailers increasingly aim their sophisticated products and service packages squarely at 6- to 9-year-olds, who are being transformed into savvy beauty consumers before they’re out of elementary school.

“The starter market has definitely grown, I think, due to a number of cultural influences,” said Samantha Skey, the senior vice president for strategic marketing of Alloy Media and Marketing.

The "starter market"? Shudder. How exploitive. How utterly shameless.

I first blogged about this issue back in 2006, when the notion of little girls tagging along to the spa to indulge in pampering rituals seemed, to me at least, misguided but relatively harmless. But it seems that the beauty industry has ramped up its efforts since then, responding to a growing demand for the luxe life:

In a study last year, 55 percent of 6- to 9-year-old girls said they used lip gloss or lipstick, and nearly two-thirds said they used nail polish, according to Experian, a market research company based in New York. In 2003, 49 percent of 6- to 9-year-old girls said they used lip gloss or lipstick.

Youth market analysts say this is part of a trend called KGOY, “kids getting older younger,” and cultural observers describe a tandem phenomenon, more-indulgent parents.

KGOY. Am I the only one who finds this "trend" desperately sad? I know my little girl won't stay little forever, but the thought of her feeling like she needs a "makeover" at the tender age of 5 makes me want to scream. Even event planner Tracy Bloom Schwartz, who makes a living planning parties like these, sees the absurdity. "Sometimes I want to ask, 'makeover what?'" she said.

Rosalind Wiseman, author of the Mean Girl survival manual "Queen Bees and Wannabes," perfectly captured my discomfort with this phenomenon:

“Mothers and fathers do really crazy things with the best of intentions,” she said. “I don’t care how it’s couched, if you’re permitting this with your daughter, you are hyper-sexualizing her. It’s one thing to have them play around with makeup at home within the bubble of the family. But once it shifts to another context, you are taking away the play and creating a consumer, and frankly, you run the risk of having one more person who feels she’s not good enough if she’s not buying the stuff.”

What say you, ladies? Is Wiseman right or is she making much ado about nothing? When did your daughters first show an interest in makeup or pampering? Is it too much too soon nowadays?

As for me, I was always fascinated with makeup, and loved to watch my mother fix herself up. But while she let me play with her makeup, she set strict limits. I wore lipstick at 11 and snuck a little eyeliner when I was 12, but made sure to scrub it off before coming home from school. Today, I wear lipstick and a little powder 90 percent of the time, and that's it. I love MAC cosmetics, but hardly ever take the time to actually wear them.

As for my own 3-year-old daughter? She is obsessed with trains and I have to wrestle her just to cut her toenails. I am hoping it stays that way for a while.

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Tags: beauty industry, preschoolers, pedicures, grooming, marketing, cosmetics, KGOY (all tags)

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  • 14 (0 / 0)

    was the limit my own parents set for serious makeup, and even wearing black!  I was 14 in 1981, and that was the year I got my ears pierced.  

    I remember lip gloss and fingernail polish being common among 5th grade girls, though I met 8 year olds who wore more in public.  I got a set of floral perfume, powder, and lip gloss in 6th grade.  I just never cared for nail polish, though I and both my kids (both under 7) like to wear toenail polish in the summer.

    Frankly, I think 14 wasn't a bad limit.  If you're seriously making yourself up, you're putting on a sexual display, no matter how you kid yourself about 'fashion' and 'peer pressure' and 'personal self-esteem'.  And if you aren't old enough to stand up to and sort out the consequences of that display, you shouldn't be making it.  

    I know someone whose 12 year old daughter wears full makeup, and tight miniskirts with tank tops and heels under the guise of 'fashion'.  My father and husband can hardly stand to look at her she's so overtly and inappropriately provacative, and you can see the mothers staring.  And to add to our discomfort, she's totally clueless about the image she is projecting to any older males inclined to go there, from the 15 year olds on up.  Okay, and her father makes comments about preschool-aged boys looking at the panties of little girls on the playground.  Extreme case.

    If you have no real clue about the realities of sexuality and not even a menstrual cycle, no tarting up for you, say I.  Lots of sex ed first, starting well before 12 (get it in while they still believe I know what I'm talking about).  But 14, fine.  By 16 I will be trying to back off seriously, in preparation for them being dependent on their own judgement in a couple of years.

    Green hair, I'm up for that earlier.

  • This bothers me too (0 / 0)

    What really gets me are the Baby Gap ads that I've seen in Cookie magazine and Martha Stewart with the pretty little baby girl who is very obviously wearing lipstick.  That is really disturbing to me.  Who the hell puts makeup on a baby?  I won't shop there now.  

    Putting little girls in makeup is sketchy to me although I can see the play aspect.  My mom let me play with some of her makeup and I can remember having some kind of Crayola fake eye makeup when I was about 7.  I can also remember having glitter nail polish around that age too.  Aside from the nail polish, I couldn't wear any of it in public.

    Spa trips don't seem too harmful.  I can remember how much I loved having my haircut as a kid because I like the way that it felt.  I think going to the spa for pampering is as much about that as about the cosmetics.

  • I don't see the big deal (0 / 0)

    with lip gloss and nail polish. My DD wears both on occasion -- if by lip gloss you mean Bonne Bell lipsmackers. But she doesn't wear real makeup [I really don't consider lipsmackers to be makeup -- more like a shiny chapstick]. I don't think either of those things are beyond what's appropriate for an 11 year old.

    just my 2 cents

    • Yeah, even old (0 / 0)

      dinosaurs like me wore nail polish as a little girl!  

      My daughters all liked nail polish...but after a very unfortunate accident with one of my daughters at age 4, I was very, very careful to keep it hidden.  

    • that's what I was permitted too (0 / 0)

      my folks were pretty strict about this as well, so while I could wear lipgloss and have fingernail polish, makeup was strictly verboten until I was in high school. Of course, I sneaked makeup where possible and scrubbed it off before going home! But by the time it was permissible, it was 1991 and grunge was setting in so who wanted to wear makeup anyway?!

    • Yeah, I don't see the big deal either (0 / 0)

      with nail polish. Both my girls love it. Santa even brought them nail polish in their favorite colors lat year ... blue and silver!

      Neither of them are interested in makeup, which is great. My older daughter came home from her friend's house with some on about a year ago, but it was clearly kind of a "let's have some fun playing with this stuff" kind of thing.

      I think what has helped us a LOT, in this as well as in other areas, is that we simply do not watch TV. Like, ever. I don't get the sense that they watch TV when they are at friends' homes, either. And the idea that they will be out of step with their friends as a result of not knowing anything about Hannah Montana or American Idol? Hasn't happened yet. And my older daughter is turning 10 in two months. I feel really lucky that we've made it so far without imbibing all those noxious images. I mean, she's made it through the first decade of her life without taking in all those subliminal (and not-so-subliminal!) messages! She's a strong critical thinker, too, so I almost have this sense that we're out of the woods. At the same time, she's still very much a kid -- likes to play with stuffed animals and her 5-year-old sister -- as well as read books like The Golden Compass series and other fairly serious stuff. We've been able to give her a childhood full of books and play, and I don't think we would have been able to do that if TV was a part of our lives.

      • Sure you could (0 / 0)

        I have a 10 year old who has had and is having a childhood filled with books and play and tv.   It's cool that you're tv free but I think your child's development is more about what's going on in your house over what's not going on in your house it's not just based on one thing.  You're obviously doing more than that to help her along.

        "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight"

        by lonestar canuck on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 04:15:38 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  • But if your little girl stays that way too long (0 / 0)

    She will be at a real disadvantage in society.  On the one hand I love that I grew up with no awareness of fashion or pressure to look a certain way.  But also feel socially retarded, and one step away from being my mom, who has anxiety attacks if she has to shop for clothes.  

    That's kind of far afield from the post, sorry.  Yes, it's sick, in general.  I'm not sure it's obviously sexual, but leading girls to overvalue their appearance younger and younger.

    Damn, am I glad to be a scientist, and a geologist at that.  Nobody expects me to know how to look good.

    • I don't think she'll be at a disadvantage (0 / 0)

      It's not a disadvantage to be able to resist all those consumerist messages. She'll be better able to think for herself.

      I have a mom who bought into all the consumerist crap, was a shopaholic and tried to raise me to be the same way. I have no idea how I resisted. But I did. And now I'm probably a lot like you -- I hate fashion and would in some ways also describe myself as "socially retarded." In my case, I think that has more to do with being an introvert in an extraverted world. Those of us who march to the beat of a different drummer will continue to do so, even if we hear the siren song of our consumerist society.  

      • Well, yes (0 / 0)

        I'm an introvert in a technical field, so I can't say it doesn't work out.  But I think being better aware of how to present yourself opens more opportunities.  It's a part of confidence and salemanship (er, saleswomanship?  sales?).  You certainly don't want at the expense of self-image or sincerity.

    • haha (0 / 0)

      "Damn, am I glad to be a scientist, and a geologist at that.  Nobody expects me to know how to look good."

      That's like me!  I was a tech writer, mostly working with geeks.  As such, no one expected me to be sociable.

    • Hey, me too! (0 / 0)

      I'm another non-fashion-conscious geologist waving from across the Atlantic. It's fun to shock people (on very rare occasions) by wearing a dress, but as you say, I'm certainly not expected to.

  • I don't have so much of a problem (0 / 0)

    with nail polish or "Lipsmackers", but I'd draw the line there.  I'm personally repulsed by a couple of women I know who applied make up to their 10 or 11 year olds.  And frankly, I dislike marketing aimed at young children for any particular product.  

    You wanna hear something really gross?  When I was at WalMart a while back, they had padded bras that would fit four or five year olds.  WHY???

    • to make your tank top stick out.... (0 / 0)

      My daughter's grade 4 class changes for gym this year and there are more girls with bras (or sport top things) than without.  I had to tell her that while that was nice I have a strict "no boobs, no bra" rule.   These girls don't need bras (well, a couple of them do) they're just wearing them.  

      "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight"

      by lonestar canuck on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 02:18:54 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • I don't even have so (0 / 0)

        much of a problem with cute little bikini sets for little girls...but I'm talking honest-to-God padded bras.  Fairly heavy padding.  And these came in size 3-6X.  Who would buy such a thing?

        • Do I get to make a "Walmart Shoppers" (0 / 0)

          joke here or is that elitist?  :)

          "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight"

          by lonestar canuck on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 02:26:05 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Personally, (0 / 0)

            I'm hoping that such items are confined to WalMart...I'm afraid they probably aren't.

            And yeah...make all the jokes you want.  Maybe I'm "elitist", too, but we were at WalMart trying to buy a gallon of paint...now why it would take us close to an hour to get someone to come back and actually get the paint mixed is beyond me.  I expect better service, but you know how we Elites are...

        • I see this here in Australia (0 / 0)

          and it just makes me want to cry. I've seen them in a couple of higher-end department stores too, so this isn't a Walmart Shopper thing, either.

        • Heels too (0 / 0)

          I noticed little Easter shoes with heels for little girls when I was at Stride Rite last night with the boys buying sneakers for their wide little feet.  Why would a young child need heels?  And doesn't that seem dangerous to anyone else?

    • Damn, I could have used (0 / 0)

      a 6-yr-old-sized bra.  But to minimize my assets, not exaggerate them.  That's sick, and, unlike makeup, obviously sexualizing.

    • Liza needs a training bra (0 / 0)

      and she has a few but she's chubby so she needs them bigger and the only bigger ones come, you guest it, padded. UGH ugh ugh I hate this.

  • Playing dress up is one thing (0 / 0)

    going through mom's make up and wearing the high heels around the house is perfectly normal.  Much like playing dress up in the police costume or the pirate hat - it's just dress up and normal.  

    Creating an industry to make little girls feel like there's something wrong with them that needs to change and they have to buy a product to change that...not good.  

    "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight"

    by lonestar canuck on Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 02:17:18 PM PDT

  • I'm with you, Erika. (0 / 0)

    I hate all makeup.  Hate it.  Never wore it, except on my wedding day.  (I know, weird.)  This is actually the part of parenting a girl I fear the most.  The babysitter put blue nailpolish on my 3yo DD's toes, and I almost hyperventilated.

    I realize, as lonespark astutely points out, that this is going to be an issue later in DD's life, and that I really need to work against passing my neuroses about makeup on.  (I blame my dad, but that's just me.  ;)  But for the LOVE OF GOD, I refused to wrestle with this particular demon until DD hits double digits!  

    From my infamous MIL incident of Christmas 07, we already know it will be an issue on that side of the family.  Maybe I should get counseling.

    • Pro and con (0 / 0)

      I don't know if it goes along with the clothes/makeup thing, but I honestly do not have the self-image issues that so many people talk about.  I have plenty of other self-esteem issues, but I have never had a problem loving and enjoying my body.

      • HA! (0 / 0)

        Neither do I!  Mind you, I am blessed with a fast metabolism (or overactive thyroid, call it what you will) that meant I never had a weight problem, and with good skin and have never had a bad acne problem.  These probably contribute quite a bit to the high self-esteem.  But I was picked on A LOT in grammar school, and spent a lot of high school consciously working on my self-esteem.  I desperately wish I could figure out exactly how I survived being the class pick-upon until 9th grade, and yet am mentally balanced, because I really want to pass it on to my kids.

  • I'm afraid that by strictly banning nail polish (0 / 0)

    I will make my 7yo daughter want to wear it even more.  MY DH and I hate, hate, hate nail polish on women, girls, doesn't matter.  I never saw the point of having a color placed at the end of one's digits.  Nature never put red or blue or purple there, what is attractive about it? (Face makeup is meant to accentuate - redder lips, rosier cheeks, lush eyelashes...okay...blue eyeshadow is not really natural but I don't have the same issues with it).

    With regard to the early sexualization of girls - OMG - this is lunacy.  They simply don't need to be "made up."  My DD is not now, and I hope she won't become, a consumer who bends to every advertiser's whim.    I believe right now she thinks putting on makeup is simply a goofy thing to do at her friend's house.  Entertainment and nothing more.  

    All 6 to 9 year old girls are naturally beautiful, they don't need makeup. A good haircut can do wonders, but they don't need war paint.

  • For me and Liza it's about balance (0 / 0)

    we're theater rats so at not quite 9, Liza can already do stage makeup better than most grown women can do real make up -- but she doesn't wear it in real life obviously. when her dad got married she was allowed to for the wedding day but that was it.

    I had a much older mother who knew not one thing about anything related to beauty products. If I hadn't had an older sister I ould have known nothing so with Liza we focus mostly on the hygeine part - she has bad acne already so we have a nightly face washing ritual,  we talk about how makeup can make that worse so she's steering clear of that but I also confess we've gone for hers and hers manicure pedicures (the nail salon near us does kids manicures for $10) and it honestly was a ton of fun.  We only do it in the summer as nail polis is verboten at St. Catherine's LOL.   Like wiith everything I try to avoid going to extremes -- I'm not gonna let her tart herself up but I"m also not going to write a feminist manifesto on the evils of make up either you know?  

    • oh, I thought theater makeup was an exemption! (0 / 0)

      I have to correct myself then - my mother had no problem with makeup for Halloween, dance recitals or dance competitions (when I got old enough for it). Golly, she was (is) fun about that. Of course, she was an actor in her time as well, so there's a heavy theatrical element to our family life. One could also say we're drama queens. :-P

    • manicures (0 / 0)

      I actually think the occasional mani/pedi as a treat with mom is adorable, and can't wait to do that with Maya some day. At this point, I can't imagine her sitting still through something like that, so it will be awhile!

      My post certainly wasn't mean to be a manifesto against the evils of makeup. I happen to love makeup...and pretty shoes...and cute dresses...and designer jeans. It just steams me that marketers want 6-year-olds to feel like they have to buy "stuff" in order to be proper "girls."

      And padded bras for little girls??? Are you freaking kidding me??? Sigh. Maybe I wasn't cut out to parent a little girl in this day and age. ;-)

    • My 11 yo DD (0 / 0)

      and I go for her's and her's manis and pedis every summer.  We have to steer clear of manis during the school year, St Brendan doesn't allow it either. It really isn't so much about how she looks, but how a mani and a pedi can make you feel.  There is something about the foot/leg and hand/arm massage that is really indulgent.  Other than that, she wears BonneBelle lipsmackers and that's it.  She'll ask to wear a colored chapstick for special occasions, but that's about it.  We haven't had a real problem with acne yet, but she had a smattering of little pimples across her nose, and we started her on Proactive.  (We tried just about everything else first)  The proactive works really well when combined with low soda/candy intake and rinsing off her face after exercise.  

      I'm really lucky, my DD doesn't like what she calls "Hoochie Mama" clothes, but still likes to be trendy.  I know there is time for her to "change her mind", but so far, so good.  One of her friends did dress a little inappropriately IMO, but my DD asked her what she was trying to say about herself with her clothes, and asked her if she really needed attention that bad.  My DD was really sweet about it, and apparently it was just a phase for her friend, she's since been dressed more appropriately, and they've stayed friends.

      • i've been wondering about proactive (0 / 0)

        Liza is so young yet that I don't want to OVER do it but she's got quite a little case of acne going on - her dad has it REALLY bad - so I' mnot suprised -- I don't want her to be self concious about it at such a young age. Do you think proactive is to strong for someone so young?

        • can't answer that (0 / 0)

          but I think it's nice that you're addressing the acne thing with Liza. I had a friend who had awful acne from when she was, like, 10. Her mom was totally dismissive of the problem and it made my friend really self-conscious for years. Recognizing that it's something that makes Liza uncomfortable and something that can be addressed is really good, IMHO.

          • We've been using (0 / 0)

            neutrogena oil free foaming cleanser followed by the medicated pads-- then we put a little light neutrogena lotion on her cheeks so they don't dry out (winter in NH plus and oily "T" zone on her face has led to some chapped cheeks) it seems to really help one area thena nother one erupts. They're not bad in that they're not huge pimples but it is obvious and she is quite upset abot them.

            sometimes i look at Liza and I think "God you couldn't have given her ONE break?"  she's about a foot taller than anyone, she's quite chubby, she has glasses and an overbite that just screams braces in her future -- and now the acne.  She's funny andsmart and dramatic and loving but at 8, nearly 9 , she just wants to fiit in and be tiny and pretty with clear skin.   I look at all these little wispy girls who i can blow off my palm with their shinyhair and their perfect skin who still wear jeans in size 6x while liza haunts the 1/2 and plus sizes of Lands end and sears and I think 'ok God you better give her one hell of a great teenage life b/c she's already convinced she's ugly ..." sigh....I tell her so much how pretty she is and how smart and funny she is and she say "you have to say that, you're my mom..." LOL

            • well, you can tell her from me (0 / 0)

              that I've seen her vamping it up in her Halloween costume and a.) I think she's a gorgeous creature and b.) if you have a vibrant personality and keen wit, everything else follows. You can "fake" beauty if you need to, but nobody can fake smart or interesting! The leading ladies that I idolize (past and present) have always been anything but standard beauties - Josephine Baker, Katherine Hepburn, Marlene Deitrich to name three decidedly unconventional women with fantastic personalities!

        • I'm not sure if Liza is too young, (0 / 0)

          but proactive has a lot of different products.  I visited their website to check it out and educate myself with no pressure from a sales lady.  I monitor my Meg's use.  Tonight I told her to skip the toner.  Other nights it's the stuff that makes white smears all over her face.  She always moisturizes, and not necessarily with proactive (that stuff is expensive).  Neutrogena makes an excellent oil free moisturizer, and so does Aveeno.

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