Mother Talkers

Child Endangerment?

by Erika

Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 11:25:42 AM PDT

I slather my child in sunscreen. Strap a helmet onto her head when she rides her tricycle. Buy organic foods and avoid high fructose corn syrup like the plague.

But if I lived in Illinois, I could potentially be charged with child endangerment, like Treffly Coyne was.

Coyne is a suburban mother of three who buckled her kids into the car last Christmas for a quick jaunt to Wal-Mart. The goal: to give $8.29 in coins collected by her daughters to a Salvation Army bell ringer, take a couple of pictures, and leave.

Her 2-year-old daughter was sleeping and it was sleeting out; Coyne opted to park in a loading zone in front of the store, turn on her hazard lights, lock the car and run to the kettle with her other kids rather than wake the sleeping toddler.

Coyne was 10 yards away, she says, and her car was within sight at all times. But trouble was coming:

She snapped a few pictures of the girls donating money and headed back to the car. But a community service officer blocked her way.

"She was on a tirade, she was yelling at me," Coyne said. The officer, Coyne said, didn’t want to hear about how close Coyne was, how she never set foot inside the store and was just there to let the kids donate money, or how she could always see her car.

Coyne telephoned her husband, Tim Janecyk, who advised her not to say anything else to police until he arrived. So Coyne declined to talk further, refusing even to tell police her child’s name.

When Janecyk pulled up, his wife already was handcuffed, sitting in a patrol car.

  • ::

And the woman's other children? Were later found sitting alone inside the store, huddled together in fear. Way to protect these kids' safety, coppers!

While Illinois state law makes it illegal to leave a child unattended in a car for more than 10 minutes, I think most would agree that common sense should apply to each individual case, and the Crestwood Police overreacted in this one. But they are digging in their heels, and Coyne will stand trial today on a misdemeanor charge of child endangerment and obstructing a police officer:

Crestwood Police Chief Timothy Sulikowski declined to comment about the case. But he did not dispute the contention that Coyne parked nearby or was away from her car for just a few minutes.

He did, however, suggest Coyne put her child at risk.

"A minute or two, that’s when things can happen," he said.

Oy. So it turns out that those times when I have left Maya buckled in her car seat while I pumped gas, grabbed cash from the ATM or ran back in the house to fetch something I forgot, I was endangering her safety. OK then.

I don't think Coyne endangered her child in this case. It wasn't hot out, nor does this rise to the level of
the Arizona woman who left her toddler in a hot car while she took her lapdog shopping at Neiman Marcus. But apparently life in Crestwood is so idyllic that police are free to spend their time focusing on moms who take their eyes off their kids for a couple of minutes.

What do you all think? Did this mom endanger her child? Is it ever OK to leave your kid sitting in a car? Could this whole mess have been avoided with a stern lecture or a small fine? Who should take more blame in this case, the stubborn police or the indignant mom? And what would YOU have done in Coyne's situation?

UPDATE: Prosecutors just annouced that all charges against Coyne will be dropped.

Tags: child endangerment, police, Treffly Coyne, Illinois (all tags)

Permalink | 38 comments

  • You beat me to it (0 / 0)

    I heard about this on the radio! Crestwood is... so not idyllic. South side suburb, and I don't exactly get the point they are trying to make with her. They couldn't pick a WORSE case- giving money to charity, taking pictures, etc.

    I have been known to pay for gas or drop something off with a sleeping baby in the back- I know better now.

    Those poor kids. I mean, who are we pretending to protect here? It makes all other cases seem diminished to people, you know?

    by lilianna28 on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 11:30:24 AM PDT

    • Yeah (0 / 0)

      now you know there are overzealous cops with no common sense at the mall.  

      This is bullshit.  Plain and simple.  I was going to write about it too but it made me so angry I couldn't see straight.  

      I childproofed my house but they got back in somehow.

      by lonestar canuck on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 11:33:53 AM PDT

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  • oh christ (0 / 0)

    I rarely leave Jess alone in the car, mainly because she's rarely asleep in the car! Pumping gas once or twice is probably about it.

    I feel so bad for Ms. Coyne - imagine having a criminal record for this!?

    by Rachel on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 11:34:28 AM PDT

    • agree (0 / 0)

      Part of me says, this mess could have been avoided if the mom had just said, "Sorry, my bad!" and showed some remorse. But part of me knows I would not have reacted well to an officer suggesting I was a neglectful mother.

      And it sounds like the cop had an ax to grind or something...ugly all around.

      by Erika on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 11:48:26 AM PDT

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      • I would've been scared out of my mind (0 / 0)

        that by saying anything, the cop would've called social services and taken the kids away. I don't blame her for taking her husband's advice to not say anything.

        by Rachel on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:20:24 PM PDT

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  • That's what she gets .... (0 / 0)

    ... for going to a WalMart -- even outside.  But seriously, this is ridiculous.  Look at cops -- they need to get their quota of arrests, tickets, etc.

    When did this start?  Cops have become money-raisers, not to keep the populace safe.  It stinks.

    by Shell on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 11:52:27 AM PDT

  • I hate these rules (0 / 0)

    I'm sorry, but you know what? There are a lot worse places for kids to be than locked in a car.

    Obviously, if you leave your kid for hours, or it's extremely hot, that's an issue. But, sometimes a sleeping child needs to sleep. Running inside for a quick errand under the right circumstances is not so terrible.

    Things happen. Things can always happen. Instead, you could carry your two year old in, trip over the curb, fall, and give her a concussion. You could be holding hands and the child could pull away from you in a busy parking lot.

    by shenanigans on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 11:57:16 AM PDT

    • Agreed! (0 / 0)

      My older DS is a wild man.  He is a danger to himself!  In that situation, he very well might have been safer asleep in the locked car than wandering through a slippery parking lot at night.  I often put him in the car...or should I say, strap him down to his car seat...before I get his brother in and collect everything we need.  It's that or him running down the driveway as I try to load up the car.  

      by coobert on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 05:40:24 PM PDT

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  • Not endangerment (0 / 0)

    She didn't even enter a building!  I leave my kids in the car when I pump gas or grab some cash out of the ATM.  I take my keys and put them in my pocket, and I am within earshot of them every moment.  They're safe in the car during these activities (barring the unlikely possibility the parked vehicle could be struck by a moving one).  Coyne was basically doing the same thing as going to an ATM - not entering a building.  

    My DH knows of a family - one of his good friends - whose car was tragically hijacked at a gas station.  The thief hopped in the car, found the keys in the ignition, started the car, and sped away with the child in the back seat.  The child was killed.  DH is adamant that we take the keys with us.

    by MsMarvel on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 11:58:42 AM PDT

  • My worst nightmare (0 / 0)

    I guess I am surprised this woman is white.
    I don't get how a child you can see is unattended.
    I guess she was not properly deferential to the cop?
    Somebody should charge the cop for endangering the other kids.

    My son ran away in the grocery store one.  They announced his presence on the intercom.  It was a matter of maybe 2 minutes.  And I was so damn scared someone would call CPS.  I would rather have a criminal record than have them take my child.

    by lonespark on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:01:16 PM PDT

    • We seem to be on a streak (0 / 0)

      of punishing mothers these days.  To tell you the truth, I'd be scared to death to have an infant or small child now.  

      by tjb22 on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:03:05 PM PDT

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      • And yes, I'm surprised she's white, too. (0 / 0)

        Several years ago, a white woman in my city came home and somehow forget her baby in the car for several hours.  One of her neighbors became concerned as she thought something might have happened to her once she got into the house.  The mother, supposedly, wasn't feeling good and went into the house and fell asleep.  Half hearted investigation, but no charges pressed, either criminally or through children's services.  I can almost guarantee that if this had not been a white, middleclass woman in an upscale neighborhood this would not have been the case.

        by tjb22 on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:07:34 PM PDT

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  • Ridiculous. (0 / 0)

    Just read about this in my newspaper.  I thought it would make its way here for discussion.

    Look, is this any different than leaving your little one inside the  house, in his/her crib napping while you sit on the front porch, or even venture down to your mail box?  Heck, even just go downstairs to the kitchen?  And yes, I've left a baby in the car, running, while I went back into the house for something...or, I've taken things into the house and left the baby in the car until I was finished.  

    Hmmm....I wonder who was watching this cop's kid(s) while he's out saving the world?  

    by tjb22 on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:01:22 PM PDT

    • They're strapped in! (0 / 0)

      They can't get much safer!

      Reminds me that my grandmother says she used to leave my mother, who was a terrible sleeper, sleeping in the car while she attended church.  Windows open on mild Vermont spring days, and she could see her through the window.  

      by lonespark on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:04:00 PM PDT

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      • Yes...strapped in...I always (0 / 0)

        figured the kid was safer strapped into the car while I brought in groceries than he or she would have been trying to get out the door of the house while I went back and forth!  Shows you what I know, huh?

        There's almost 10 years between me and my next brother.  My parents were without a baby for a long time.  I remember what time we were going some place or other, and made it close to a mile down the road when my mother realized that they had FORGOTTEN my brother and left him home in his crib!

        by tjb22 on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:12:32 PM PDT

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        • yeesh that was my recurring nightmare (0 / 0)

          just after giving birth and for 2 years i had a recurring nightmare that i left the house and awhile later "remembered" i was a mother and had left dd unattended.

          cops with tudes are dangerous.

          by parentalunit1 on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:58:01 PM PDT

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    • btw tjb22... (0 / 0)

      so nice to have you back :)

      by parentalunit1 on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 01:01:53 PM PDT

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  • I've been so tempted (0 / 0)

    A number of times, I have been sorely tempted to do this exact thing, and not even to give to salvation army, but to selfishly run into my favorite coffee place and get a coffee. If I were to get a spot right in front, I would only be about 30 feet from my car at all times (yes, I've really thought about it!). But I am too afraid someone would call the police, or a police would nail me and call CPS. Now I realize that it wasn't just over cautiousness on my part, it could really happen. Damn. I'm glad the charges were dropped.

    by RachelD on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 12:33:55 PM PDT

  • This is shocking I know (0 / 0)

    But I have left my children strapped in while sleeping in a shady spot in the driveway with windows and doors open while I've done some weeding right near them in the front yard.  There coming for me any day now I suppose.

    by music teacher on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 01:02:35 PM PDT

  • If this had been a father... (0 / 0)

    I bet you ten bucks nothing would have happened.  Not even a warning.  Our society loves to punish mothers.  If you look at how the cases in which a baby left in a hot car dies are handled, mothers are given much stiffer sentences than fathers, as well as differences in race and class.

    by Inky on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 01:18:07 PM PDT

  • Not as extreme (0 / 0)

    but something similar happened to a friend of mine about a year ago.  We had a playgroup lunch, and her two year old was having a meltdown.  She also had a newborn and was pretty close to the end of her rope to start with.  She ordered her food to go, took the kids out to the car, and pulled around while they finished the order.  The restaurant didn't have curbside, so I brought her the bill, and, with the car parked RIGHT in front of the door, she walked inside to the lobby to hand the waiter the money and to take the bag.  A woman waiting to be seated apparently worked for DFCS and she went absolutely ballistic. It was an ugly, ugly scene, and my friend, already sleep deprived and having a bad day COMPLETELY fell apart.  Luckily, it didn't go any farther, but it was an awful, awful scene.

    by K C on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 02:02:56 PM PDT

  • this just pisses me off. (0 / 0)

    i angers me every time i read about it.  i've done it.  and i've done it to go get my coffee and the dang organic milks the kids love at starbucks.  i've done it when my son was a babe and they both fell asleep in the car and i had to take one at a time into the house.  i've done it when my daughter screams about how she left her picture in the house, or needs a particular baby doll.  certainly done it when i forgot the dang cell phone, wallet or whole purse in the house.

    and get this:  i'm not a neglectful mom.  but have had to promise DH not to do it again, since it came up.  (damn!)

    now, i've never done it in the summertime when it is hot, but good grief.  have we truly gotten to the part of society that people can't use their F'ing heads?  i think the officer had something large wedged in her ass.  

    by momEEE on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 02:46:44 PM PDT

  • I was afraid it would happen the other day (0 / 0)

    when I left my two five year olds in a car out side the grocery store while I ran in. Now, they could see their father as he finished the kiddie gymnastics class with their sister and had my cell phone at hand to call him. They knew where I was, they were locked in and you couldn't really tell they were there unless you looked close as it was dark, but then so are the windows of the minivan. This was the first time I tried letting them sit by themselves for a few minutes. So I sprinted through the store to buy the yogurt for their school lunches and went back out to find them fine and read their books. They didn't see me. So I went to the gym class and watched their sister through the window while I also watched the van with them.

    I felt like someone was gonna pounce on me any minute. When the police car drove up I about had a heart attack but it stopped at someone locked out of their car.

    They had really not wanted to go into the store and I didn't want to ruin a good evening as they had been exceptionally patient with things earlier.

    The thing is my mother never had this guilt. She left us in the car all over the place no problem. I rode my bike 12 blocks to kindergarten. I walked at least a mile to every other bus stop or elementary school I went to. I had to have a safety check of could I cross the big streets at first but  then it was pretty much free reign. I hate this need to shadow  my kid that is the norm now.

    by Mythhuner on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 04:43:04 PM PDT

  • crazy (0 / 0)

    I feel like this is one of these things that our sense of what is safe is so far off base from the hype out there.  I really can't see any danger in this situation, but somehow we're convinced it's wrong.  

    Two stories:

    My husband was taking our toddler to the drug store, and I asked that he take our newborn (weeks old) too since maybe he'd fall asleep in the car.  My husband ran the errand, and when returning to the car in the parking lot, realized he had forgotten the baby in the car!  He was asleep the entire time, and never knew the difference.

    When I was growing up, we were left in the car all the time.  Once, my parents left the three of us all in the back seat, left the car unlocked, and went into a store.  We were probably elementary school aged.  A similar car was parked in the next lane over.  My siblings and I were sitting in the back when two people approached our car and got inside.  We were stunned and silent in the back seat while they tried to figure out why their key wasn't working.  You can imagine how they felt when they turned around and saw three kids in the backseat of the car!  Lots of screaming (by all parties), then some laughing -- no permanent damage.

    by Treena on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 04:52:55 PM PDT

    • a little off topic, but (0 / 0)

      I went to the wrong minivan after dropping my son off at nursery school.  It took me a few minutes to figure out why my key wasn't working too.

      by music teacher on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 08:17:31 PM PDT

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    • I think what has happened (0 / 0)

      is that there have been a handful of incidents where someone has just gotten all righteous - "THERE OUGHTA BE A LAW" and pummeled all the rest of us. The article includes this:

      Yet statistics show thousands of children are injured and dozens die every year after being left unattended near or inside vehicles.

      “I am talking tens of thousands of people who leave their kids in the car for any period of time all around America,” said Janette Fennell, founder and president of Kansas-based Kids and Cars. “People don’t appreciate the dangers of leaving a child alone in the car.”

      The thing is, kids get injured and killed every year doing practically everything kids do. Kids die being driven in cars. Kids are hurt or killed at home. Kids get hurt riding bikes, climbing trees, roller-skating, riding horses, petting dogs, swimming... you get the picture. The LA Times Magazine ran an article several years ago about societal overprotectiveness and illustrated it with a photo of a baby wrapped in bubble wrap. I wrote in pointing out that bubble wrap today is covered with warnings to keep away from children.

      I can't tell you how many times I was carrying my daughter down  steps, or in other places, took a misstep, and thought, oh, that was very nearly a Very Bad Day. When I was pregnant, people were twitchy about me riding horses - but no one was worried about me driving to work, arguably far riskier. Shortly after DD was born, I did get hurt at the barn - I tripped on a concrete walkway and faceplanted. That would've been a Very Bad Day if I had still been pregnant, but no one told me not to walk on sidewalks - and a good thing, too, because lack of exercise also hurts babies and women.

      We are so bad at assessing risk that we keep our kids inside so they won't be snatched by a stranger (very unlikely) and instead they get obese and type 2 diabetes (quite likely).

      Frankly, I doubt this woman's estimate of "tens of thousands" of people who leave their kids in cars at one time or another. I bet it is millions every year. But it's not something we can admit we do publicly.

      Now that DD is 7, I hope I'm safe from the kid-in-car police. I figure if she's old enough to ride a school bus by herself, she's old enough to cope in a car if that's her choice.

      (If I leave her in there with the dog, is that double the crime or does that make people feel better? Who knows.)

      by shenanigans on Thu Mar 13, 2008 at 09:45:17 PM PDT

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      • Driving while pregnant (0 / 0)

        and walking up and down stairs with squirmy infants, yes, very dangerous, and feels that way, too.  

        I have a hard time with protecting DS from life.  He is an independent little fellow and I want him to keep growing up that way.  I know our neighborhood is not a good one, and I don't let him roam around.  But I do like to take him for walks and bike rides.  Sometimes after dark because it's so damn hot.  DH gets very on edge about the neighborhood and the traffic.  

        I think the traffic is the much bigger risk, but it sesms familiar - after all, you can get hit by a car anywhere.  Whereas, a few blocks away is where the Serial Shooter people lived, and some of their victims were just walking around near our neighborhood.  The idea of being sniped is a lot more creepy than getting hit by a car, somehow.

        by lonespark on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 05:36:56 AM PDT

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  • Joined just to comment on this diary. (0 / 0)

    The NJ Supreme Court had a case a couple years ago, that went like this:

    Woman with toddler whose dad was away (might've been deployed, might have been away on business, might just have been working the night shift), both of them had the flu and the little girl hadn't slept in two days. They were out of cold medicine in the middle of the night. In the winter. And it was sleeting. The mother managed to get the little girl bundled into her snowsuit and strapped into the car. She drove to an all-night Walgreen's quite a distance away (they're not common in NJ), parked in the spot closest to the door, and when she looked, the little girl was finally asleep. So rather than move her and possibly wake her up, she ran inside and bought cold medicine from the display next to the door. I believe the case said she was about 30' from the child for about two to three minutes.

    While she was doing so, another employee (other than the cashier) called DYFS. No charges were ever filed, but DYFS provided services which I'm sure were useful, never took the little girl, but marked the file "Neglect Substantiated."

    Ten years later, with the little girl now in middle school, the mom wanted to go back to work as a pre-school teacher (as she'd been before she had her daughter). Except in NJ you can't work with kids if you've ever had a substantiated abuse or neglect case.

    Anyway, so she appealed.

    The New Jersey Supreme Court not only ordered DYFS to mark the file "Not Substantiated" and delete the mother's name from the database, but also pointed out that the child may well have been in more danger if the mother had taken her out in the winter weather and into the store, given she was sick and the weather was bad and the car was warm and she was bundled up.

    by Sister Q on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 11:59:08 AM PDT

    • nice to have you here (0 / 0)

      and it's also reassuring to hear of at least one other case where common sense ultimately prevailed!

      My heart just bleeds for that mom who was only trying to get some relief for her sick, exhausted baby.

      by Erika on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 03:10:32 PM PDT

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  • Nanny state insanity to the nth degree. (0 / 0)

    Does no one exercise any common sense? I grew up in the 60s and my Mom left us in the car to run a few errands, no big goddam deal. No one said a peep about it. If anything, a cop would have stayed near the car till our Mom came back, all as a courtesy, just to keep an eye on the little darlings. I was the oldest, so I had charge of the brood. Today, Mom would be in jail and we'd wind up in foster care! It was really simpler and happier growing up 40 years ago.

    by mercedes99 on Fri Mar 14, 2008 at 04:03:13 PM PDT

Permalink | 38 comments