Mother Talkers

What's your dream?

by Erin

Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 08:18:21 PM PDT

I, and I suspect many of you, have about 20 alternative lives in my head.  Different paths I could have taken but, for whatever reason, didn't.  Not necessarily better or worse, just different.  

When I started grad school, I made a list of all the things I probably wouldn't be doing with my life now.  I decided to make a shadow box shrine to each of these things (which I never did...).  One thing on the list that looked accessible was delivering flowers.  It wasn't about the money or the status, I just really wanted to surprise people with flowers.  I got a job I didn't particularly need and, considering that I worked for minimum wage, didn't have time for, delivering flowers at a shop owned by a crotchety and somewhat abusive old man and his sweetish, eccentric wife. I learned that delivering flowers is much like delivering pizza, only with no tips and you have to see dead bodies.  People rarely act delighted--mostly suspicious.  In addition, everyone else in the room is gravely disappointed.  I think people are happier to get their pizza.

But I digress.  At the top of my list, my long cherished dream has always been to be a trapeze artist.  When I was a child and a young teen, I assumed it was my bad luck for not having been born into a circus family.  At the time, I was probably right.  But now, I see that I'm not the only one who's been nursing this fantasy.  There are trapeze schools in major cities all over the country, including Seattle.  Yay!

The cost looks prohibitive, and I think I may start out with adult gymnastics at the YMCA, which are free with my membership.  But I'll have to get to that trapeze school sometime soon.  It would be arrogant and foolhardy to spit in the face of a dream that I once thought would be completely impossible.  At 31, I don't plan to become a professional.  All I want to do is fly through the air.

It occurs to me that another accessible dream that I will probably get to one day is riding in a hot air balloon.  Funny that these two are both on my list, because I'm terrified of heights.

Do you have dreams that you haven't yet and may never gotten to?  What are they?

Tags: goals, dreams, trapeze, hot air balloons (all tags)

Permalink | 28 comments

  • sing (0 / 0)

    ever since i was four i wanted to sing.
    i currently perform music as a deejay and have been recently singing ad-lib over my friend's sets.
    i want to write at least one album and perform that music live.

    i would also like to write a book, not sure exactly what kind, but most likely personal essay type or memoir, though the latest craze on those makes me hesitate. i have more of life to live for that to be feasible, really.

    We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. - E.R. Murrow

    by lorin on Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 10:17:57 PM PDT

  • party planner (0 / 0)

    Sometimes I think I missed my calling...I am a frustrated party planner! I LOVE making lists and taking care of details and coordinating and decorating. When I throw a birthday party or a baby shower, I get a little crazy...but it's SO much fun for me.

    I would also love to be a competitive ballroom dancer...I picture myself in a shiny, short dress, moving my hips to some scorching salsa.

    Erin...we vacationed at ClubMed Ixtapa, a family resort in Mexico. They have a full-on trapeze school, included in the vacation package! I tried my hand one day. It was a huge rush. Some visitors did it every day they were there and were doing flips and catches by the end of the week. The instructors are experienced and it is safe. The bets part is there is on-site day care for the kiddies...so you can drop them off a couple hours while you go flying.

    And if you're ever in the OC, we have a huge tethered helium balloon that is absolutely free...kind of a tourist attraction. It's not hot air and it doesn't travel, but it goes REALLY high and really gives you that sensation...with great views. Come visit and we'll take the kids!

    by Erika on Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 10:31:04 PM PDT

    • You (0 / 0)

      would be a fabulous party planner!  I wonder if that's hard to break into?  It seems like there might be a lot of demand for that in LA, but on the other hand a lot of competition.

      I'm going to check out that vacation at ClubMed.  That sounds amazing.  The safety issue is good, too.  Jeremy and I had the following conversation this morning:

      "I want to go to trapeze school!"
      "If you must..."
      "You know trapeze is my dream!"
      "You falling 15 stories to your death is my nightmare."

      I must say, it touched my heart.

      We were seriously considering an OC vacation this summer, but decided on a southern Oregon/Redwoods vacation instead.  I think Disneyland will be more fun when Milo is older, but we don't want to wait until they're too old, either.  We are for sure planning on it, and it occurs to me that we could either celebrate or console ourselves after the presidential election.

      by Erin on Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 11:14:50 PM PDT

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  • Bed and Breakfast (0 / 0)

    not as "lofty" as trapeze artist LOL, but I've always wanted to own a wonderful B&B in some amazing location.  I'm not naive about the hard work involved, but when I stay in B&Bs I love talking to the owners about how they came to do this, how they manage the work and their time, and all the cool people they meet.

    Funny thing - it ends up that this is one of my DH's dreams too!  When he first said "I'd love to own a bed and breakfast in an amazing location", I laughed - who knew he harbored this same idea.  Now we joke (half joking?) that this is our retirement plan - it may come to be.

    More mundane - I want to learn to speak Chinese - How cool would it be to go to China and be able to talk to people there?  China is definitely part of the world's economic future - and I'd love to be able to say more than hello (nee-hah).  I guess living in Queens, and having more Chinese neighbors than anything else has fueled this!

    by Sue in Queens on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 04:14:24 AM PDT

  • So many left (0 / 0)

    I have always wanted to own a bookstore, but the market seems pretty bad for that.  I woudl love a coffee shop, too, but I bet you have to get up pretty early in the morning, and right now, one of my dreams is to sleep until 9.

    I'd love to get something published, even just a magazine article.  That may still happen.

    I woudl also like to learn to fly, speak Spanish, and ballroom dance.  I'm in serious need of some skills.

    Sue, your new house is so pretty, you could make that a B&B one day!

    by coobert on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 04:48:48 AM PDT

  • The best circus (0 / 0)

    I've ever been to is Circus Smirkus, and it's all by kids, ages 10 to 18. If your kids are like you, you might want to look into this summer program.

    It's just amazing, and they travel the East coast every Summer.

    I wish I was a published author, but I guess you have to do some writing for that. Grant writing is rewarding and all, but I wish I had a really absorbing book project of my own. I just can't think of one! I envy my sister who lives to paint. Some day, I'll have a burning love of something like that.

    by tarantula on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 07:42:56 AM PDT

    • I would love (0 / 0)

      to send my kids to that camp.  Another one of my dreams is visiting Vermont.  Yet another is being published, but like you, I would have to have written something.  I feel like I'm good with words, but what do I have to say?  I guess spending a week, a month or a year on each of my dreams would help that along.  That would be a great book!  But I would need quite the advance.

      I also envy people who live to do whatever they do.  I envy people who lose track of time.

      by Erin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 02:40:56 PM PDT

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  • recording stories for radio (0 / 0)

    I'm not all that engineer-y, but I love the idea of recording stories told by old people a-la This American Life. I'm so entrenched in science now (and I've got a GREAT interview this weekend with the Environmental Science Institute at UT in Austin) that I'll probably never do it, but it sounds like fun to me.

    Oh, and farming and professional singer-songwriter touring and joining the peace corps and teaching english in korea and well let's face it just traveling/ backpacking in general.

    if you wobba cypress trees then I will wobba you

    by thais on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 07:47:01 AM PDT

    • Good luck! (0 / 0)

      with the interview this weekend. Will you have time to enjoy the city?

      by Lisa in Austin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 09:16:07 AM PDT

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    • Good luck at your interview! (0 / 0)

      This thread is reminding me of so many of my other dreams.  Rock star, peace corps and extensive traveling are all on that list.  And photographer for National Geographic.  

      by Erin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 02:42:26 PM PDT

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      • thanks! (0 / 0)

        we see Austin a lot through the lens of friends; we've volunteered at Kerrville Folk Festival for 10 years and usually fold in an Austin visit or some gigs while we're there. This will be all business, but part of the 'business' is a tour of the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center, so that rocks.

        photographer for NG is a good one.

        if you wobba cypress trees then I will wobba you

        by thais on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 02:59:31 PM PDT

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  • I want to run a doggie day care/boarding facility (0 / 0)

    DH is a cat person. Unless he dies, it ain't happening.

    by minnmom on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 07:51:57 AM PDT

  • "gravely disappointed" (0 / 0)

    I love your take on delivering flowers. Who would have guessed that suspicion and disappointment were part of the job?

    I'd like to jump out of a plane. Like you, I'm terrified of heights. Maybe that's why these things are on our lists?

    Also, I'd like to be a chef, but the chef lifestyle is anathema to the way I want to live my life. It would seriously interfere with my quality of life. But I do wish I could cook and get paid/recognized for it.

    I've thought about offering in-home cooking classes. It seems like most of my friends really don't know how to cook. They are always asking for 'recipes,' but I think recipes are frustrating and limiting (as in "I'd make it, but I don't have this one ingredient!") I think knowing how to cook and stock your pantry are more important than having a list of recipes.

    Thanks for the chance to ramble. I try to talk these things over with the dog, but she's more interested in her own butt.

    by sangfroid on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 08:01:25 AM PDT

    • In home cooking classes! (0 / 0)

      That's a great idea.  

      I've read that the fear of heights is the fear of self--you're not 100% sure you won't jump.  I know that's true for me.  I always imagine that I might have a momentary lack of judgment and just jump.  What scares me is the thought of kicking myself the whole way down.

      by Erin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 02:44:25 PM PDT

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      • Yes! (0 / 0)

        It's not something you want to blurt out at a party, but I know for certain my fear of heights is the fear of jumping. You worry that you'll loose your mind just long enough to climb over the guard rail! My SIL is afraid of driving over bridges for the same reason.

        I had that fear on the catwalk in my house, but it was kid related. I'd worry that I would a) loose my mind or b) trip and toss the baby over. I ended up lining the whole railing with plants and tables to make that anxiety go away. Thank goodness their too old to carry around in the night anymore.

        by sangfroid on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 05:26:25 PM PDT

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        • sound boards (0 / 0)

          i have a friend who can't stand next to the sound board (the board with all the volume controls) at concerts because he's afraid he's going to lean over and mess 'em all up.

          if you wobba cypress trees then I will wobba you

          by thais on Fri Feb 08, 2008 at 05:34:33 AM PDT

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  • LOVE it (0 / 0)

    I LOVE your description of delivering flowers.  So true.  Flowers have so many iffy connotations, death, someone who did something mean to you and is trying to make it up to you, etc.  Then whenever I get them, I'm always caught off guard, and I never have cash to give the guy or gal a tip, which makes me feel bad.

    by NJmom on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 08:34:42 AM PDT

    • exactly (0 / 0)

      with the pizza guy, you know when he's coming so you have a tip ready. With the flowers, you're surprised and short of cash.

      But I am always happy to get flowers! One of my favorites ever was when my DH sent me flowers to my office [about 2 years into marriage] that said, simply, "Happy Tuesday!" All the older, longer-married folks made fun of us for that but I was grinning ear to ear.

      by Lisa in Austin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 09:19:12 AM PDT

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    • It's funny (0 / 0)

      One day I saw that I was delivering four or five bouquets, balloons and a ceramic cat to the same woman.  I knew her boyfriend must have really screwed up, and I was right.

      I didn't expect tips-it really was about wanting to surprise people-and I only got one, from a woman who got flowers on a regular basis.

      by Erin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 02:46:31 PM PDT

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  • re:alternate realities (0 / 0)

    good for you, Erin! You stepped up to the plate and found out that the plate was weird.

    After 10+ years as a nurse, I decided to live my dream of working as a cook in a cafe. I was the only woman in that kitchen and at first, the natural target. The pace was frenetic and it was really really hot. Add in multiple knife injuries, grease & hot water burns, and I guess you could say I HATED IT. On the plus side it did teach me valuable skills like being organized in a kitchen and how to cook large volumes of food without being overwhelmed. And how to defend oneself against constant gender-based heckling. And how to talk really really dirty. I'm glad I did it.

    I am also not thrilled with heights and went up in a hot air balloon for my 40th bday. Still don't like heights tho.

    Future things I'd like to do? Perhaps write a book and breed cats? Maybe write a a book about breeding cats? Hmmm....

    by poppygirl on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 09:05:40 AM PDT

    • How did you find that? (0 / 0)

      I was really glad to find that I wasn't missing much by not delivering flowers.  Other than being glad about the skills you learned and the whole experience, were you disappointed that you hated it, or relieved?

      by Erin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 02:49:01 PM PDT

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      • re: the cooking dream (0 / 0)

        In retrospect i am very glad it did it-while i was doing it,though, it just sucked. It was one of those friend-of-a-friend things back in the mid 80's where they needed a warm body to fill in at the bistro. And did i mention that i continued to work FT as a nurse at the same time? What i lacked in intelligence i certainly made up for in energy.

        I have never regretted new experiences-in the long run!

        by poppygirl on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 08:04:03 PM PDT

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  • I have 3 dream jobs (0 / 0)

    One is something where I get to read books all day and get paid for it.  Anyone hiring?

    The 2nd is astrophysicist.  I'm smart enough to know enough about it to be totally fascinated, but don't have the brainpower to actually do it for real.  My 3 semesters of college physics just about did me in.

    Finally, my most favorite would be to be a choreographer.  I danced all through school and loved it.  I was a decent dancer but not spectacular - I'm too shy to be a natural performer I think.  But the little bit of choreography I did I LOVED.  Creating the dance then seeing it come to life on stage was the most amazing feeling.

    My other dream is to restore an old house (a la "this old house") - not actually do the plumbing, carpentry, etc but design and plan it and then live there.

    by hazel on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 09:13:13 AM PDT

    • Book critic? (0 / 0)

      Yet another of my latent dreams, I just don't know how to break into it.

      I'd like to pay to have someone else restore a beautiful old house so I could live in it, but I'd want my own involvement limited.  I admire people who can or even want to do that kind of thing.

      by Erin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 02:51:04 PM PDT

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  • You all (0 / 0)

    are so creative and passionate!  I'm so glad I asked.

    by Erin on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 02:57:30 PM PDT

  • Cool thread! (0 / 0)

    I still fantasize about the coffee house/play area/art studio business.   I think it would be fun, but I can see how owning a business like that would totally suck up all your time.  

    I also love Minnmom's doggie daycare idea.  It's something I have thought about before too.  Yeah, there'd be dog poop to pick up... but it would be fun to spend your days playing with dogs.  

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

    by 1plain1peanut on Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 04:29:28 PM PDT

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