Mother Talkers

Decoding “Parentspeak”

by Elisa

Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 02:14:31 PM PDT

Parents ran a hilarious list of parent clichés and their literal translations. The magazine took the list from the blog MetroDad.

(What They Say) Let’s do a playdate next Saturday. (What They Mean) Will you please watch my kid next Saturday so I can get some free time to myself? I’m begging you!

We’re so tired by the end of the day. We haven’t had sex in ages.

We’re not sure when we’re having another. We’re not sure we even want another. The one we have right now is kicking our butts! How do people have more than one kid?

He certainly has a lot of energy! Your kid is a hyperactive monster! He must drive you insane. I pity you.

Looks like you could fit a whole soccer team in that car! Since you have a minivan, will you drive my kids to the soccer game next week?

That’s such a cute age. I remember when my kids liked me. They’ll get older and hate your guts.

LOL!

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Tags: parentspeak, Parents, MetroDad (all tags)

Permalink | 7 comments

  • One I say to my kids (0 / 0)

    "we'll see..."

    Really means:  The answer is "no" but I don't want to deal with the consequences of telling you "no" right now (the fit you may throw) so I'm putting it off.

    Fun topic!

    by hazel on Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 02:40:42 PM PDT

    • DS figured out (0 / 0)

      a long time ago, "Maybe really means 'no,' doesn't it?"  He was probably right about that :)

      Did anyone else see the Roz Chast cartoon about what teacher comments really mean?  I wish I had it in front of me.  Something like, "Your child is unique" = "Batshit crazy," and "She doesn't cause any trouble at all" = "I have no idea who she is."

      Mama to one son, born 12/93.

      by mamacita on Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 05:17:07 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • I've got one (0 / 0)

    "How much did she weigh when she was born?" means...
    "Wow, your kid is ginormous! WHAT are you feeding her?"

    We get this one alot with my DD, who has been off the weight charts and near the top of the height charts since she was 1 month old. :-)

    MotherTalkers moderator and mom to Maya, a 3.5-year-old firecracker.

    by Erika on Wed Feb 06, 2008 at 07:18:38 PM PDT

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