Mother Talkers

That's MRS. Chancellor to you, buddy.

by sangfroid

Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 09:07:20 AM PDT

I know we've discussed the Mrs. vs. Ms. debate before. Here is an interesting twist from the Wall St. Journal's Wall St. Journal's Style and Substance Blog:

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is to be Mrs. Merkel in second references in our pages, at her request, as an alternative to Chancellor Merkel. We had been using Ms.

Her staff indicated that she was following the model of Mrs. Clinton in choosing Mrs. over Ms. or Miss. Unlike Mrs. Clinton’s, however, her surname is that of a previous husband; her current husband has the surname Sauer. Of course, she is also Chancellor Merkel.

The Germans themselves don’t have a problem in deciding between or among honorifics for a woman nowadays because they have generally adopted the use of Frau for all women.

I didn't know that Sen. Clinton had a preference, and I find it interesting that Mrs. Merkel would put out the effort to change her honorific in English language papers. One reader offered this pro-Mrs. argument that I'd not heard before.

"Women are differentiated by marriage because marriage was traditionally a profession for women. Even today, married women do most of the work of managing their family. I believe "Mrs." is a mark of respect for that.

What do you think? Does "Mrs." have superwoman implications? Has our society advanced enough to truly understand the work involved in managing career, marriage, family and household?

Poll

Does "Mrs." mean more than it used to?

6%10 votes
23%38 votes
29%47 votes
23%38 votes
17%29 votes

| 162 votes | Vote | Results

Tags: female politicians, Mrs, vs, Ms (all tags)

Permalink | 15 comments

  • I think Mrs. (0 / 0)

    tells people that you are married and want people to know it. Period. I object to it because there is not a simliar honorific for men.

    I'm not strident about it when people use it for me but I would never use it in reference to myself or anyone else, except my son's kindergarten teacher who has resolutely insisted that we all call her Mrs. So-and-So (doubly strange for me since she is about eight years younger than I am).

    by mpg on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 09:59:49 AM PDT

  • Well, I use my last name (0 / 0)

    And I don't wear a wedding band, so the only time I get "Mrs." is when I'm with my husband.  I'd prefer it if people would just get on with it and call me, "Your majesty" or "Your most excellent queenness", but it's hard enough to get people to say my first name right.  I'm not going to trip over Ms. vs. Mrs.  I do draw the line at Mr. though.  Maybe I should dress more girly.

    Blogging While Brown Convention Atlanta, GA July 25-27, 2008

    by fabooj on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 10:56:04 AM PDT

  • I actually like Miss (0 / 0)

    I'm a huge fan of Miss Peggy Lee, and she always insisted that she be called Miss Peggy Lee.  I fail to see why my marital status, but not my husband's, should dictate my courtesy title.  In several languages, the equivalent of "miss" is only used for young girls (much like "master" can be used for boys).  Women, married or not, get an adult courtesy title.  That is what I would like to see.  In the meantime, I think women should be able to be called whatever they want, although I'm happy WSJ defaults to "ms" rather than "mrs."

    In the meantime (and in the absense of "Dr." or "Your Greatness"), I like "miss" because it isn't anyone's business if I'm married or not.  I started out a miss, I didn't give up my family name, so as far as I'm concerned I'm still Miss M.  

    by cynmill on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 11:34:44 AM PDT

  • I use Mrs. Lastname (0 / 0)

    with kids, and Lisa with adults. The thing I really don't want to be is Mrs. Husband's First Name Lastname. I took his last name but not his first name.

    by Lisa in Austin on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 11:59:49 AM PDT

    • OH WORD! (0 / 0)

      This is my biggest pet peeve. I told my DJ, if you introduce us "Mr and Mrs. Todd..." I will NOT come out until you correct it. He was careful.

      Close friends send correspondence / invitations with the "Mr.& Mrs. Todd and Melissa..." because they know my rage. DH's grandmother still sends stuff "MRS. Todd Ernst." GAH! I refuse to open anything she sends, I wait for DH and tease him "why does your grandmother think you're a Mrs???"

      by lilianna28 on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 09:08:23 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • not qualified (0 / 0)

    marriage was traditionally a profession for women. Even today, married women do most of the work of managing their family.

    I'm married, but this statement sure doesn't apply to me.  My marriage isn't a job or profession and DH does at least as much home / child stuff as I do.  So maybe I don't qualify for the M.R.S.  I also don't wear a wedding ring.  My personal relationship status is just that: personal.

    by mamacita on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 12:04:03 PM PDT

  • Mrs. should go away (0 / 0)

    I really, honestly think it should be Mr. and Ms. Why there continues to be a designation based on marital status boggles the mind. Seriously boggles the mind.

    by GiGi on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 12:08:33 PM PDT

    • Totally Agree (0 / 0)

      I always check Ms. on forms, and I can't understand why they even bother asking the question.  Mrs. makes me think of my grandmother, especially Mrs. HusbandFirstname HusbandLastName.  I cringe when I get that.

      by coobert on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 12:19:06 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • ITA too (0 / 0)

      I always go with Ms. "Missus" is even hard to say, especially with my last name, it just gets blurred together.

      I wonder if some women like to use that because it does remind their male coworkers and peers that they are also women and pehaps mothers? I only think of this because of a conversation I had recently with a woman who became a partner in a heavily-male law firm recently. She was talking to her new-father coworker about babies (she had two) and he had a revelation-- oh my gosh, you're not just a lawyer, you're a mom . . . you do all the cooking and cleaning and child care just like my wife does . . . it had seriously never dawned on him before, since he was so conditioned to thinking of her only as a peer and not as a mom or a wife . . . maybe a glimpse into why some workplaces continue to be so unfriendly to working moms. Just a random thought.

      by minnmom on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 01:06:49 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • eh (0 / 0)

    I'm a Mrs., but I don't care if someone calls me Ms. As Cynmill notes, Miss versus Mrs in most foreign languages has an age component; after awhile, all women are called the "Mrs." equivalent. Very few unmarried older French women, from what I've seen, object to being called Madame.

    I know that words carry symbolic weight and have a meaning, but a lot of me just doesn't want to get hung up on words; I'd rather deal with the substance of sexism and class difference than argue with someone over Ms. versus Mrs. But that's just me and I'm not passing implicit judgement on anybody else by saying this. I'm always super-careful to ask people how they prefer to be called; I don't really think it's rude to ask people what their professional titles and names are. Far worse to make assumptions and be wrong than to ask the question and get it right!

    by Rachel on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 01:05:24 PM PDT

  • Slightly OT (0 / 0)

    but since you bring up Mrs. Merkel, I have to say that I will always adore that lady for her honest, genuinely funny reaction to Bush's manhandling of her at that G8 conference in, what, 2006. Mrs. Merkel, a lot of us wish we could do the same thing to Dubya!

    by Rachel on Tue Feb 05, 2008 at 07:43:17 PM PDT

Permalink | 15 comments