I am so glad you've decided to de-lurk. MT's is definately a place you can vent, share ideas, or ask for help. We have a great group of mothers and future mothers here.

Again, welcome!!

Do you have children now or are you in progress, so to speak?

it's such an awesome group here. hope you stay!

Yes, feel free to ask away. No topic is "taboo" here. LOL!

I am glad you have felt comfortable in posting. There's lots of wisdom to be gained from this place. I am mom of 11 y.o. twins and while I might be a 'veteran' mom to some, I appreciate the wisdom of those with older and grown children -- and love to read the stories of thos with younger ones, where I am just as likely to learn something new!

I live in Texas, the state most associated with our current Prez, so I understand being in a conservative area! [although, in reality, I am in the liberal oasis of Texas!] I look forward to reading what you have to share.

Every day I learn exactly how much of a burden I was to my mother, as I raise my own. She hid it well. I apologize to her a lot these days. :-) She says she's proud of the job I'm doing, but I generally feel like I make a lot of mommy mistakes. I think it goes with the territory. I figure any day where we all survive to try another day is a good day, and some days are a lot better than that.

Welcome! I love this place. Hope you will, too.

I too live in a conservative area (though Minnesota Conservative differs a bit from some more hard-core parts of the country). It has been interesting to watch some of my friends and neighbors change over the past three years from Bushbots to ambivalent "independents" with liberal leanings. I hope it reflects a change happening across the country.

Speaking of awakenings, I have gone through my own revelatory expreience over the past few years as I grappled with a difficult relationship with my mother. I never doubted I wanted to be a mom, but it has been a growth process that has been scary at times-- learning that I am my own person, very different from her, and I can make my own path. My most recent challenge is the little girl I'll be giving birth to in a couple months. I had a boy first, and that helped me gain the confidence as a mother that I will need in order to parent a girl--confidence that I won't infuse my own insecurities and baggage into my relationship with my daughter.

I'm glad that you are on board!

Nice to meet you, hardlyaclue! Thanks for delurking and looking forward to your comments elsewhere!

Hope you'll have as much fun here as the rest of us do. And indeed, fire away...

Glad you're here.  I had an awesome mom, yet didn't have a desire to be a mom myself until it was almost too late...I was 37 when DS was born.  So I think the fact that you realize your mom had her issues and you are your own person means you are clued in to what you can do to be the kind of mom you want to be.

I have quite a lot of compassion for my mother at this point in my life, that's not just a load of politically correct BS. Our failed relationship is part of a much larger problem involving the pressures to achieve the package of success. Sadly, because she can not love or accept herself as flawed (as we all are) she is unable to love anyone else. I grew up being very aware of this and tried to do everything I could with the vain hope that she might learn to love me. There was never a malicious intent to hurt me but I was hurt just the same. She will be given the chance to be an involved grandmother and maybe she will be more successful in that role.

Also, thanks a lot for the welcoming messages and I chose "hardlyaclue" to ground me in those times when I may think I have it all figured out :-).

I'm looking forward to learning more about you and your journey through motherhood.  As you've probably learned by lurking over the past few weeks, you'll love it here!

I too have come to this site to learn from those who have already gone down the path DH and I hope to pursue.  There is so much wisdom and information here that I visit regularly even though our trying-to-concieve date is 5 months away (assuming biology cooperates).

In some ways, I have started cultivating a mother mindset as I look at issues knowing the impact they will have on future generations.  I also am trying to arrange my lifestyle for the health and welfare of a future DS or DD.  Right now I'm taking a crosstraining class to better prepare my body for pregnancy.

It is great to meet another future mother here, and I hope to get to know you better. Do you have a rough timeline of any sort for becoming a mother?  

I have to admit though that having you "soon to be mothers" around makes me feel like I have to behave myself...

Being a parent is incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding.  My husband always says you don't need an entertainment systerm if you have kids -- you already have built-in entertainment.

this is one of the few communities I've found where moms can take off the rose colored glasses and be real -- Congratulations on taking your first steps.....

My big realization as a mom has been that I don't have to be just like my mother. I do things differently.

I identify with being in a conservative area - Orange County, CA is a little stifling. I love the fact that I discovered a UU congregation and I can be myself when I am there.

When my DH and I got engaged in 1993, I informed him that this was going to be a child-free marriage.  I surprised myself when, in 1997, I got the baby ache!  He says he knew I would change my mind eventually. We're now a family of 4, with kids age 10 and 7.

Suzi