2) WERE YOU EVER WORRIED THAT TAKING A YEAR OFF TO TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD WAS A SELFISH ACT?
What is it about the American obsession with productivity and responsibility that makes it so difficult for us to allow ourselves a little time to solve the puzzle of our own lives, before it’s too late? That said, yes – I did worry a great deal about selfishness. But after three years of despair and depression, I had come to believe that living my life in a state of constant misery was actually a pretty selfish act. Who would be served by a lifetime of my sorrow? How would that enrich the world? Going off for a year and creating a journey to pull myself back together, to rediscover joy, to face down my failings and rebuild my existence, was not only an important thing for my life, but ultimately for the lives of everyone around me. And it’s not just my family and friends who are better off now that I am happy; it’s everyone I encounter. Because the reality is that we human beings are constantly leaking our dispositions upon each other. When I was in such a dark state, everyone I passed on the street had to walk through the shadow of my darkness, whether they knew me or not. I remember once, during my divorce, crying uncontrollably on the subway in New York City. When I look back on that crying young woman, I feel great compassion for what she was going through. But I can also feel pity now, in retrospect, for those poor, weary New York commuters, who had to sit there after their own long days at work, watching this sobbing stranger. I didn’t want to be that person anymore. Saving my own life (through therapy, medication, prayer and – most of all -- travel) was something I did for my own benefit, yes, but I can’t help but think that it was ultimately also a little bit of a community service…
5) HOW CAN I POSSIBLY GO ON A JOURNEY LIKE YOURS, GIVEN THAT I HAVE A BUSY LIFE OF MARRIAGE, KIDS AND WORK RESPONSIBILITIES?
The last thing I ever want to become is the Poster Child for “Everyone Must Leave Their Husband And Move To India In Order To Find God.” My path is hardly a universal prescription. It was my path – that is all it ever was. I drew up my journey as a personal prescription for solving my life. Transformative journeys come in many forms, though, and often happen without people ever leaving home. Divinity is available everywhere, at all times. People find their way to God during wars, in the middle of traffic jams and in small prison cells. (Though I would submit it's easier for a prisoner to find time to meditate in a jail cell than it is for many of my working-mom friends with young children to create time for contemplation.) The first question you can begin to ask yourself, though, is: “Where can I find a small corner of stillness?” Because that’s where it all begins and ends. God resides in these pockets of silence. So where in your day, where in your home, where in your mind, is there some opportunity for a moment of silence? Or maybe even a few moments, during which you can start asking the questions you need to ask in order to find what you need to learn. Can you find the time to get out of your own way and try to step into your own light? As a dear friend of mine put it: “To change your life, the important thing is not necessarily to travel; the important thing is to SHIFT.”
She never spelled out the reasons for leaving her husband. She seemed to brush over it in the book and not mention it on her website. My feeling is she is protecting her ex’s privacy, or perhaps there was more to this divorce than she let on.
While I agree that her marriage and life did not seem that bad -- based on what she revealed in the book -- I actually enjoyed the book more than I thought I would. I do want to visit Italy and taste that irresistible pizza in Naples. I wouldn’t mind taking a dip in the water in Bali. And I do believe in the power of prayer.
And while having children has enhanced my life, I do not think it is the only way to live a joyful life. One of the lines in the book that stood out to me is sometimes people have children “in the absence of choice.” I agree.
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