Mother Talkers

Teaching Empathy

Fri Jan 18, 2008 at 09:41:41 AM PDT

Cross-posted at Fussbucket

How do you teach your child to really care about others? Some use books. Some talk about how a friend feels when another friend does something hurtful. According to this feature in ParentMap magazine, one program that's just starting in ten Seattle schools begins with learning to care for a baby.

The program [called Roots of Empathy] is elegant in its simplicity. Every three weeks during the school year, a baby and parent, recruited from the community, visit the classroom (kindergarten to eighth grade) with a certified Roots of Empathy instructor. The instructor helps the students learn about the baby’s development, celebrate the baby’s milestones, and learn about what it takes to raise a baby.

Over the course of the school year, the students watch "their" baby reach its first milestones. The article says the children in the program become totally engaged when the baby visits, focusing intensely on the infant. Along the way, they develop feelings of protectiveness and love.

That love is key to developing empathy, and to refusing to allow others to be mistreated. "When a child becomes protective of a baby, the next level is the child doesn’t want anyone to hurt that baby," says Wendie Bramwell, a Roots of Empathy instructor at Sacajawea Elementary School in Seattle. "So why is it OK with a classmate?"

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The hope is that fostering these kinds of feelings might be a way to stop kids from bullying. According to the article, a recent National Institute of Child Health and Development (NICHD) study found 29 percent of students  had been involved in bullying, either doling it out or sucking it up. And most of the time (as much as 85 percent), when bullying occurs, other students are standing around watching. Ouch. A 2004 study by the Centers for Disease Control found that each day, as many as 160,000 children stay home from school because they’re afraid of being bullied. Double ouch.

And if that's not enough of a reason, other research suggests that social and emotional skills contribute to academic success. Researchers at the University of Illinois at Chicago recently completed an analysis of 300 research studies. They found that fully 50 percent of academic success is dependent on social and emotional literacy; the other 50 percent on traditional intelligence, the article says. Simply put: Raise your kid’s social and emotional competence, and you raise his test scores.

"We do know that kids with higher levels of empathy have more satisfying relationships in life and tend to be more successful in the workplace," says Miriam Hirschstein, a Roots of Empathy instructor at Seattle’s John Stanford International School and an educational psychologist at the University of Washington’s Center on Infant Mental Health and Development. "Everything is intertwined. Kids who do well academically are better socially, more empathetic, happier."

"If you foster empathy in a child, you have created a gateway to finding the humanity in another person," says Mary Gordon, founder of Roots of Empathy. "That is the core of human relations — the core of parenting. We are all wired to become competent loving human beings through our key relationships."

What do you think? Do you think the nurturing feelings kids get from caring for a baby can translate into being more considerate of their peers? It's an interesting idea.

Tags: Roots of Empathy, character education, kids and babies, teaching empathy to kids (all tags)

Permalink | 19 comments

  • I'm so glad this is getting press lately... (0 / 0)

    it's really an amazing program. I wrote an article on it a few months ago if anyone wants to check it out:
    http://depts.washington.edu/...
    Sacajawea Elementary is in my neighborhood here in Seattle, and so far the program is really popular. Thanks for the post on this...

  • hello to you too Stacey (0 / 0)

    and all the other Seattle mamas!...
    Yes, this program is really cool. Hopefully we'll have some funding to spread it around to more schools in the future. The kids really love it. Raj Manhas is currently involved with the program that sponsors ROE in Seattle, called Seeds of Compassion. With all his school board experience I'm hoping he's working to get the program into more schools.

  • What a cool program! (0 / 0)

    My four-year old is very protective of his new baby sister.  We'll have to follow through on his feelings for her and work on him learning to care for others.  He is a kind soul though so I think he will do well in that regard.

  • I find this interesting (0 / 0)

    because my DH and I talk all the time about how incredibly kind and compassionate our older son is. In fact (if I may brag a moment) his kindergarten teacher told us in his conference that he is a role model of kindness in his classroom and that children who are at odds and ends and need someone to play with will seek Tommy out because they know that he will play with them.

    Although I adore my younger son (who is almost 3) we can already tell that he is different and will need a lot more coaching to be empathetic. We do see him imitating his brother a lot, which is fantastic. But I don't think the feelings of empathy come quite a naturally to him.

    I love the idea of using children to teach children. Tommy's school (which is a K-8 charter school) uses the Olweus Bullying Prevention program, which is designed to help kids not only not bully, but to take positive action when they see another child being bullied. I have been pleased with what I've seen of it so far. But I don't know that it has the kind of power that the program described in this post might have. I know that Tommy would respond very well to something like this.

  • I've no idea if this'll work, but I hope so. (0 / 0)

    I was bullied constantly through High School, my parents transferred my from my first school because the principle basically said there was nothing he could do to stop it, there was just something about me that made me a target. 90% of children with Asperger's Syndrome are bullied daily, and there are cases of them leaving High School with PTSD because of the bullying. The few efforts I saw to try to reduce bullying just made me better at hiding what was happening - the school talking to the protagonists and their parents made things worse, not better. Heck, just typing this makes my head hurt, I feel lightheaded and my stomach's churning. As Attwood, one of the foremost Asperger's researchers says, if an adult acted the way many teenage bullies do, he'd be jailed.

    So.. this is an approach I've not heard of. I think I'm probably doomed to look at these things in a pretty cynical manner, but I've also realised that I just don't learn and process things the way most other people do, and that's doubly true of at school age. So I'm utterly unable to give a realistic assessment of whether this strategy would be an effective one, but I hope it is.

    "You're never more alone than when you're alone in a crowd."

    by Expat Briton on Fri Jan 18, 2008 at 01:37:28 PM PDT

  • Hope so (0 / 0)

    Hmmm.  This assumes that most kids don't live in a family, where they learn to have empathy for others, including siblings, cousins, etc.  Hope it works.

    I think bullying comes from two places: insecurity on the part of the bully and lack of adult supervision.

    I think K-8 schools are better for keeping tabs on bullying.  I think smaller schools are better as are smaller classrooms.  I don't like the whole middle school concept.  Kids are too young, puberty is starting, insecurities abound.  The more secure kids are, the less likely they are to bully and we set them up into structures that are insecure that are ripe for bullying.

  • I wonder if (0 / 0)

    having a younger sibling would have the same impact?

    • I thought about that- (0 / 0)

      But, the dynamics of the sibling relationship are probably different from that of a baby that isn't related to the child.  That's not to say that children can't learn empathy from their sibling relationships.  But, not all children have younger siblings.  

      "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

      by 1plain1peanut on Sat Jan 19, 2008 at 08:37:46 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • I've been thinking about this (0 / 0)

    every since I read your diary last night.  I think it's a wonderful concept.  I'm all for anything that helps teach empathy, curbs bullying, and helps a community.  It's a win-win situation for the school and the community.  The students get to learn about empathy, and the community becomes intertwined with the school.  A mother that brings her infant into the school will probably be more likely to support the school in the future.  

    I would love a program like this in my area.  I looked on the Roots of Empathy website and saw that it's based in Canada with no US contacts.  I plan on e-mailing the contact on the ROE website to find out more.  

    "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

    by 1plain1peanut on Sat Jan 19, 2008 at 08:34:07 AM PDT

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