Mother Talkers

Weekend Open Thread

by Elisa

Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 08:19:37 AM PDT

Update on my ongoing drama to get Blue Shield of California to pay for my epidural: As I had mentioned before, it cost $1,500 to get an epidural to deliver Eli. Our provider, Blue Shield tried to get me to pay for it saying the anesthesiologist was “out of network.” (As if I were in a position to ask him!)

After some haggling, I received a shmarmy letter from the company that for this time only it would graciously pay for it. (As if our premiums have not doubled in the last few years.)

I thought this was settled as BCBS agreed to call the hospital and settle this. Except I received a phone call from a bill collector yesterday, telling me to pay up or deal with the credit bureau instead. UGH.

So I wasted another 45 minutes of my life, waiting on the line to speak to either the bill collector or BCBS. The bill collector especially was rude. I told her that the insurance company was supposed to call her -- she had no such record and treated me as if I were lying about the whole thing. Infuriating -- and then I confided in her, “Excuse my language, but last time I spoke to them (BCBS), they told me that they were sending small checks here and there so that your doctor would drop his fee as a ‘courtesy’ to them. They are dicking you over.”

Bill collector: “Maam, we are not the hospital. We just want to collect the bill. You need to call the insurance company.”

Once I finally got through to someone at BCBS, I demanded a three-way conversation with the bill collector to settle this. Turns out, BCBS had a record of the conversation with the bill collector, but the bill collector did not. The bill collector lashed out at me, “Elisa, I sent you a bill with some notes on what BCBS would pay. You should have responded!”

Me: “Well, you told me that you were going to take care of this! It’s been almost six months and this still has not been settled!”

The BCBS rep told me she would send payment to the bill collector but asked her to put a “30-day hold” on my account. The bill collector grudgingly agreed. Sigh.

I have a feeling this won’t be the last time I will hear from either of them. This is so aggravating.

  • ::

I love reading those personal “My Turn” essays in Newsweek, which probably explains why I love blogs, too. The other day I was perusing the magazine’s “online only” My Turns -- there are more of them online than in the magazine! -- when I came across this intelligent essay by formula feeding mom Laura Cook-Crotty: Formula is Fine.

While she pointed out that “breast is best,” and she tried her hardest to breastfeed her daughter for four weeks, she said the breastfeeding campaign has had an unintended consequence.

There is now a very desperate sense of guilt and failure attached to bottle-feeding, which for many women is the only option…

Notwithstanding the fact that it was physically impossible for me to breast-feed, there were moments when I felt like an utter failure as a mother. For weeks I was guilt-stricken, anxious about my baby's health, and worst of all, jealous. Everywhere I went I saw women who had absolutely no trouble breast-feeding. And yes, some of them seemed to have no trouble glaring at me with what I perceived to be utter disapproval when I bottle-fed my baby. The worst feeling of all was the silent resentment I had for my own friends' successes with breast-feeding.

At my most bitter stage of bottle-feeding grief I fantasized about the witty comeback I'd give the next well-intentioned stranger who told me with a smug tone: "Don't you know how much your baby would benefit from breast milk?" Perhaps I'd even give her the shock of a lifetime by flashing my breast-feeding battle scars right there in the church social hall. I even debated starting my own campaign: FORMULA IS FINE.

Good for her. I could totally relate to the pain she suffered from cracked bleeding nipples and multiple bouts of mastitis. It hurts. Thankfully, this was not my experience with Ari, which is why I stubbornly stuck with it for Eli. I hope Cook understands that every baby is different so she shouldn’t fear trying again with a second child -- if that is what she wants.

Yes, Eli still loves the boob above all. I have noticed though that when she reluctantly accepts formula -- the organic dairy-based Horizon -- she gets gassy and grunts like she is constipated. Could something there not agree with her? I’ve been debating trying a soy-based formula or sticking with the Horizon since she rarely receives it.

She does love pears though. The other day I was eating a pear and she tried to grab it. I let her gum it and she kept whining for more! I bought her those Earth’s Best First Pears and she is eating it up. Whew! I thought I would be exclusively nursing her for a year. She is finally showing interest in food.

What are you up to this weekend, MotherTalkers?

Tags: Blue Cross Blue Shield, insurance company, epidural, formula, breastfeeding, health care (all tags)

Permalink | 52 comments

  • It's the county fair! (0 / 0)

    This weekend is DD's birthday and it's also the weekend of the county Fair. The Fair is a big deal around here, because most families in our area are participating in some way - showing an animal, perhaps a fleece, a craft, whatever. This makes it a little hard to have a birthday party and have people come. But, it's a fun place with a carousel and other portable rides and lots of stuff going on. Downside: if you're not careful, each ride adds up and it starts to approach Disneyland for expense but not nearly as good.

    by shenanigans on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 08:30:25 AM PDT

  • Fun with insurance (0 / 0)

    Elisa, I don't know if this would make a difference or not, but I've found that the insurance companies treat group members much better than individual members. Since you and Markos both work for your business, you can probably set up an employer group of 2. This might give you some more options.

    Our insurance has high deductibles, but they've been good about paying the part that they owe. I can't say that I recommend it, though, because our company (Pacificare) just got bought by the (likely evil) United Health, and they're forcing us to have a United Health plan for the fall. I expect to be whining big time when they finally get around to showing me what the new plan/premium options are.

    by shenanigans on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 08:37:17 AM PDT

  • Speaking of insurance. (0 / 0)

    Our dental was carried by Weyco, however, a couple of months ago we were informed that Meridian had taken over/merged with/bought out our coverage.  My daughter had some dental work done back in the late spring.  Actually, two of my daughters did.  Well, they have yet to pay for one daughter's work.  She's "proven eligibility" several times over, and each time, has been told that the bill will be taken care of right away.  Well, yesterday, another bill from the dentist, and guess what?  Not paid yet!  Ugh...

    You know, I had to supplement with formula with my twins.  With my last baby, I had to give up breastfeeding at about six weeks due to medications I was taking.  Neither time did I feel the least bit guilty.  Ofcourse, there were those who told me last time that it would be ok to continue nursing despite the meds I was taking....but you know, some of them were quite nasty and I just couldn't see putting those into my baby's system, no matter how safe LaLeche League said it would be.  Ofcourse, I had successfully breastfed before, so  maybe that's why I didn't feel guilt or failure.  

    I had to use soy formulas.  My babies just didn't tolerate milk based formula at all.

    by tjb22 on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 08:50:28 AM PDT

    • Just curious... (0 / 0)

      Have you noticed and significant differences your kids' health as a result of breast vs. formula? I breastfed #1 exclusively for 6 months, then began adding bottles until she was exclusively on formula at 11 months. With #2 we've been giving him 1 bottle of formula at night since he was 2 days old, and I'm breastfeeding the rest of the time. In all honesty, I'm not one of those people who love breastfeeding. It took me three weeks to get over the pain with #1 and almost 5 weeks with #2 -- he actually did more damage resulting in very badly cracked and bleeding nipples, and I had a plugged duct with him, too. If it weren't for the guilt I feel about formula I would switch over completely in a minute. Especially considering that I'll never get thanked for the efforts (I know I never thanked my mom for the 18 months she breastfed me!).

      The more I started to think about it, I couldn't see any major differences in my adult friends -- some breastfed 100%, others bottle fed 100%. Some have allergies, some have asthma, but it's a mix of how they were fed.

      Since you have a small control group in one household, I am wondering if you've noticed any difference (increased colds, allergies, ear infections)?

      by jenna on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 01:46:10 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Allergies (0 / 0)

        Not to jump in your question to tjb but I just saw this this week regarding infant feeding and allergies/asthma.

        http://www.time.com/...

        by NJmom on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 01:51:20 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • My kids were breastfed (0 / 0)

          DS #1 nursed for 14 months and DS #2 nursed about 20 months.  Both of them have food allergies.  DS#1 is allergic to peanuts and recently outgrew an allergy to eggs.  DS#2 is allergic to peanuts, eggs, and soy.

          by music teacher on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:13:27 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        • That's a tough one.. (0 / 0)

          because babies are often born with food allergies... and that's the way it was for my kids.  I don't know that breastfeeding will keep a kid from developing allergies, but w/my case avoidance of the foods kept the reactions down and now they seem to have grown out most of it.  

          It would be interesting to know whether or not the breastfeeding moms in the study did that (identified and avoided the offending foods).  Eczema is a hallmark of dairy allergy... especially in infants.  Also, environmental allergies tend to be worse in people who also have food allergies.

          "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

          by 1plain1peanut on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:26:11 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • I agree (0 / 0)

            I think, for the most part, babies who have allergies are born with them.  Those babies might need their moms to do special elimination diets, or they might need a specialized, hypoallergenic formula if they are FFed.

            Pretty much everyone I know who has allergies has a family history and everyone I know who doesn't, doesn't have a family history.  

            by NJmom on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 12:24:02 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            • Not necessarily with food allergies (0 / 0)

              My first son didn't present his allergies until well after he was weaned.  I may have exposed him with low levels of allergens unwittingly while bfing but there were no reactions.  He was the first child on both my side and DH's side of the family to have allergies.  I did watch my diet while pg and bfing #2 and the same allergies still developed in him with the additional soy allergy.  

              From what I hear this is not all that uncommon.  More kids with no prior family allergies are developing food allergies than ever for whatever reason today.  My suspicion is that bfing really has nothing to do with protecting or causing it.

              by music teacher on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 02:12:56 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              • that was my experience, too (0 / 0)

                I bf and supplemented with formula. There's a big history of food allergies in my family, so I avoided a lot of those foods so as not to pass them on in my breastmilk - peanuts and other nuts and citrus fruit being the big ones. Jess weans and pops up with the one food allergy no one in my family has ever had - egg. Go figure.

                by Rachel on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 03:08:37 PM PDT

                [ Parent ]

      • I've sat here for awhile thinking about this. (0 / 0)

        Trying to recall all those long ago childhood ailments.  And honestly, I can't say I can find any difference.  My  son who was breastfed for 18 months is the only one to have even mild allergy problems.  In fact, he was the child who had the most bronchial/respiratory problems in his first year...while he was treating me like a drinking fountain.  

        My youngest daughter, conversely, has probably been my healthiest child.  She's rarely sick.  No allergies.  And as a proud momma, can I also add that she's brilliant?  Ofcourse, maybe it has little to do with how she was fed...maybe, being the seventh child, she just built up an excellent immune system.  At the time she was born, I had kids attending at least two different schools, neighborhood kids in and out of my house daily, etc.  My older kids?  Well, that obviously wasn't the case.  

        I enjoyed breastfeeding.  I was one of those women for whom it was extremely easy...much easier than messing with bottles and formula.  However, while I do believe there is probably a small benefit provided by it, I don't think its the be-all, end-all of determining later health.  You know, I look at people my age.  None of us were breastfed.  Then I look at people my parents' and grandparents' age...all were breastfed.  They all seemed to develop the same age related health problems that we boomers are now encountering.  The only difference being that we treat them now.  

        by tjb22 on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 03:22:46 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • With the issue of meds (0 / 0)

      There's a very good book out by Thomas Hale that always has the latest info about meds and breastmilk that I found very valuable.

      One of the shifts that has occurred that I think is valuable was that there was always the assumption that any medication would be bad for a nursing situation - without any regard for the benefits of breastmilk. It's always got to be a case-by-case decision, but I'm glad to see people rethinking that particular risk-benefit analysis.

      by shenanigans on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 01:57:47 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • You know, it would be interesting to read... (0 / 0)

        but I gotta tell you, when you're looking at your tiny baby, and thinking about the nasty side effects this or that drug is causing you personally, well, it puts things into a different light.  At that point, I was being given several different drugs and was told that the "experimenting" to find the right drug combo could take awhile.  Many drugs also effect the body's ability to even produce milk in the quantity needed.  Ill health itself can drastically effect the ability to produce.  

        by tjb22 on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 03:28:19 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • Definitely (0 / 0)

          I found the book a lifesaver because I was in that situation, with a serious infection that landed me back in the hospital with a biohazard sticker. My health was so fragile at that point, and the hormones so out of control, that I was terrified to change one more thing in my body, and I very much wanted to keep breastfeeding. There was a med that they wanted to try with me that one doc said was incompatible with nursing, but when I did more searching, the feeling was that it was OK. It was my choice, but it helped me make an informed choice.

          And thank goodness, because we didn't want to use a milk formula (DH is allergic to milk) and the soy formula was awful. So I pumped and dumped in the hospital (ironically, very hard to stay clean in a hospital, plus of course no patient-accessible refrigeration) and went ahead and resumed after.

          by shenanigans on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 01:44:42 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • If it would have been short term, (0 / 0)

            I probably would have done the same.  And surprisingly, I had a couple of very enlightened doctors who didn't come out with the "you absolutely can't breastfeed" line.  I would have resented that more than a little.  One of the meds was very, very nasty and they were a little iffy about it...and I was more than a little iffy.  

            On the other hand, 15 years ago my sister in law ran into the old-school standard practice...when needing a series of test involving dyes, etc., a neurologist just called and informed her that she had a week to quit and that she might as well because she'd be sure to need some kind of medication in the future.  

            by tjb22 on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 04:22:19 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  • Silly Elisa (0 / 0)

    Don't you know our health care system is the Best in the World??  Perhaps if you had set up a Health Savings Account like Dear Leader told you to, you wouldn't be in this situation.

    As we speak, DH is driving around town looking for a store that carries generic Zofran for the terrible horrible morning sickness I have been having. We are able to afford 10 pills as even the generic costs over $700 for the whole prescription.

    I work at HUGE corporation and should have GREAT insurance but it sucks and it is sooo expensive. I have no prescription drug coverage.

    F-ing insurance companies.

    by minnmom on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 09:32:08 AM PDT

    • Right? (0 / 0)

      LOL!

      by Elisa on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 09:46:58 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Don't I wish (0 / 0)

      We have an HSA and a high deductible policy and oh my god has it been a nightmare.  Nobody has a spare 15K lying around in their HSA.  We have no maternity coverage, except for all those weird complications clauses.  Pre-eclampsia, not covered; it's an inconvenience, not a complication.  Have a few seizures and we'll talk.  I ended up having an emergency c-section with Sam, and a medically necessary one with Ben.  I really think the only way that I was able to get Ben's covered at all was because I went into labor at 5AM on the day my c-section was actually scheduled.  (I TOLD my OB I wanted the early slot, not the noon one!  He said they were booked, but the chick in active labor wins!  SCORE!)  Luckily OB was somebody that we know quite and was very patient and went to bat for us repeatedly.  Even though I had a letter from our insurance company assuring me that future c-sections would be covered, I kept getting told that previous pregnancies have no bearing on their decision making process.  Dude!  My pelvis didn't just magically widen by a few inches!  Too small is too small!    Anyway, both of my kids were well over a year old before they were "paid for".  

      by K C on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 12:48:04 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • oh no! (0 / 0)

      I'm so sorry to hear about the horrible morning sickness!  $700 for generic Zofran???  That's insane!  that's price gouging, someone should prosecute...

      by tessajp on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 01:08:13 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • But...but...but... (0 / 0)

    Bill O'Reilly and John Stossel told me just last week that universal health care doesn't work!  That systems like Canada's are terrible...you should be thankful that you live in a country where you have choices...if your doctor takes your insurance...B'ah.  

    "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight"

    by lonestar canuck on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 09:45:07 AM PDT

    • This pisses me off... (0 / 0)

      I've been told by two workers in the health insurance industry that the healthcare system in Great Britain and Canada suck. What? People actually have health care. Canadians actually live longer than Americans. Sounds like the joke's on us, pal.

      by Elisa on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 09:48:17 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • And I don't know of anyone in those countries (0 / 0)

        who have lost their house and/or life's savings due to  hospital bills.  

        by tjb22 on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 09:53:46 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      • Lived in London (0 / 0)

        I've lived in London, and let me tell you, the system has its flaws, but it's a damn sight easier than the US. I walked into the hospital to have Jess and walked out without any bureaucratic hassling, no bills to pay, and no harassing calls from bill collectors.

        Grew up in the US, lived in Paris, London and now Melbourne. Let me tell you - universal health care is awesome. Awesome, you hear me!!

        by Rachel on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 01:38:12 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      • It's a whole lot of talking out of their (0 / 0)

        @sses, I'm afraid.  I've had 5 insurance related conversations in the past week with people who are pissed off about their service and getting charged for things they thought were covered.   One poor guy has to change dentists all the time because his insurance keeps going to the lowest bidder - how do you establish a relationship with a health care provider when you're being sold to the lowest bidder?  

        As far as Canadian health care goes, it isn't perfect but it's faaaaaaaar less stressful than the US system.   And also the wait times for genuinely medically necessary procedures aren't any longer than they would be in the States where you'd have to get permission to have the procedure done and then get hit with unexpected fees.  

        I get so overwhelmed just trying to take care of my family with insurance (not to mention the 18 months we were on COBRA and had to pay $1000 a month for health care) I can't even imagine the stress of knowing that a broken leg or a heart attack could bankrupt your family.  I don't know how people do it.  

        "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight"

        by lonestar canuck on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 12:11:56 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      • Agree (0 / 0)

        My dad was Canadian and I have tons of familiy up there.

        When my dad was sick with cancer, he received excellent care.  Before he got sick, he also received great general healthcare, preventative and all that.  I had an aunt who had a serious heart condition her whole life and she lived a long and healthy life, although on disability, and also received top notch care.  An uncle had a mild stroke, also received great care and had a home health aide help him out until he was better.  

        My relatives are very proud of the healthcare system up there.  

        by NJmom on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 12:21:32 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    • What a crock... (0 / 0)

      Okay, it's a given that Bill O'Reilly is an ass... but John Stossel is an idiot.  WTF does he know.  Give ME a break, Stossel.

      "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

      by 1plain1peanut on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 11:45:54 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • Me, too (0 / 0)

        I watched part of that John Stossel program, just to see if they would even attempt to deal with people who cannot afford care in this country. The one that really irritated me was the woman from Canada who had gone to Washington for treatment and she said, basically, who cares if they profit, I'm alive?

        Good for you, but obviously you could afford to pay for the treatment you needed. Nothing to address those who cannot and very little conversation at all about insurance companies and the way they screw over both patients and doctors.

        I just had to quit watching.

        by Lisa in Austin on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 12:26:27 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      • Steak vs hamburger?? (0 / 0)

        How about, oxygen vs nitrogen?

        by shenanigans on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:03:41 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  • Weird day... and speaking of insurance... (0 / 0)

    I just got back from the urgent care.  Madeline had a soccer game this morning and I picked her up by her hands after she got her drink and gave her freaking "nurse-maid's elbow".  I picked her up with both hands... not one.  She usually helps out by jumping up, but this time she was tired and cranky after being there early for her brother's game.  We went to the urgent care, DH met us there and began to make me feel worse by complaining about the co-pay.  Ugh... like I needed THAT on top of the guilt of hurting my child.

    Then, I come home to find out that Wes Clark has endorsed Hillary.  I'm not surprised that he's decided not to run, but am I surprised he decided to endorse Hillary.  I guess that's where I'll be throwing my loyalty now.  She's a kick ass nutcracker LOL.

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

    by 1plain1peanut on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 11:44:28 AM PDT

  • Re the formula... (0 / 0)

    There's not much we can do about mom-guilt.  Let's face it... even mothers who breastfeed have guilt about things.  The shitty part is anyone making the bottle-feeding mom feel guilty.  That just SUCKS. Keep your glaring looks and comments to yourselves.  

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

    by 1plain1peanut on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 11:55:13 AM PDT

  • set up a group through the non-profit? (0 / 0)

    (Disclosure, I'm an insurance agent. However, I am a) not a broker and b) not licensed in CA and c) don't sell health insurance)

    I don't know if you're in a position to do this now, but you might want to think about insuring yourselves through the 501c-3 non-profit that Markos is setting up as an employer group. If you and Markos became employees of that corporation and if you enroll several other people under it you would be looking at a much better situation. You want to be able to get group rates and be able to pay your premiums with pre-tax dollars.

    A CA broker could help figure out your options, and whether you want to be able to insure employees in other states and how. Look for a small brokerage, because big ones won't usually be as proactive for a small group.

    While you're at it, since you have kids and financial responsibilities, you both should have disability and that's hard to get unless you offer it through an employee group.

    by hungrysarahpillar on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 12:31:35 PM PDT

  • Awful (0 / 0)

    How evil are bill collectors.  Ugh.  Not the people themselves, because I know they are just being told what to do, but it seems that being mean is part of the game.  Crazy.  

    by NJmom on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 01:52:03 PM PDT

    • I hope thay are pretty desparate (0 / 0)

      Bill collectors are trained to be SO cruel. I can't imagine why anyone would choose that line of work unless they were absolutely destitute without any other prospects. I've heard horror stories, and even had firsthand experience with one very awful woman -- when my mom passed away she left a significant amount of debt behind. The bill collectors turned on me for the money (in the US children are not responsible for a parent's debt, and if no assets are left, the debt goes unpaid). Since I was not legally obligated to repay the debt, and my mom had only a matter of a couple hundred dollars to her name (she'd been uninsured when diagnosed with cancer and had to use her retirement and every last penny to pay for treatment and living expenses), they weren't going to get any money. One of the collection agents gave me a speech when I informed her I was not obligated to repay my mother's debt: "When your mother was sick with cancer and none of your family would help her with money, Chase Bank did." !!!! I was livid and hung up and called my husband in tears.

      by jenna on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:15:17 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • That is AWFUL! (0 / 0)

        These companies have no conscience and no soul. Ick!

        by Elisa on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:31:21 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        • Reminds me of a news story... (0 / 0)

          I once read about a woman who lost her son and Fannie Mae -- the college loan guys -- came after her. She actually mailed in her son's ashes as proof that he was dead. Of course, this happened during the anthrax scare, so that's why it made news. Good for her.

          by Elisa on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:32:48 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Ugh...... (0 / 0)

            When my grandmother died she owed a small amount on a credit card to a large retailer. They called us constantly for several months upsetting my Dad every time. I managed to grab the phone one day when they were calling and let them know she had moved. I gave them her new address and phone number. We never heard from them again. I talked with the mortuary when my mother died and they said that they get calls all the time from bill collectors looking for people....The response is yes we have them here, no they can't come to the phone.

            by JRH on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 10:20:55 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

      • Reply, for next time: (0 / 0)

        If Chase Bank had helped her better, maybe she'd still be alive!

        Ugh.

        by shenanigans on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 01:46:44 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  • Coverage of epidurals (0 / 0)

    How often, do you suppose, is a heart surgery patient's anesthesia refused for payment?  Or a patient with prostate cancer, broken leg, etc.?

    Why is it I have the feeling epidurals are probably "special" in this regard?  

    On the other hand, maybe I'm totally wrong and the insurance companies are awful about it no matter what the problem is.

    Katherine

    by pat of butter in a sea of grits on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:18:26 PM PDT

    • I think they're awful about it all the time (0 / 0)

      Anesthesiologists being out of network is something I've heard time and again. I think it's largely because the patient doesn't choose that person and probably never interacts with the anesthesiologist, so there's a lot more chance that an insurance mismatch won't be caught.

      I got a call from my insurance company about 6 months after DD was born, saying 'um, for your hospital visit on (date), we don't have a preapproval... what were you there for?' I could practically hear her turn beet red when I said, "To give birth to my daughter," and I got an apology and no more trouble.

      The only people I know who haven't had a world of trouble with medical bills and medical billing are my dad and his wife. They have Kaiser (he is a retired federal employee) and Kaiser has taken exquisitely good care of both of them. My dad says that his health care benefits paid off way better than my stock options, and he's so right.

      by shenanigans on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:31:56 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      • absolutely. (0 / 0)

        A year and a half ago, my daughter donated a kidney to her fiance.  His coverage paid for her expenses.  However, while she was still in the hospital, two doctors were called in as "consults"...one was an ENT because she was having a problem with her ears feeling blocked.  Can't recall the other...however, neither of these "consults" were covered by the plan covering her care, so she was left holding the bag.  Our insurance wouldn't cover it for her, either, as it doesn't cover the expenses incurred for donating a kidney.

        by tjb22 on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 03:33:40 PM PDT

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        • omg (0 / 0)

          what a wonderful gift your daughter gave her fiance!

          by Rachel on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 01:40:14 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          • Sadly, the results have not (0 / 0)

            been what we were hoping for.  He's a very brittle diabetic and continues to suffer from the complications of being a type 1 diabetic since the age of five.  He also required very high doses of anti-rejection medication.  So high that he had the beginnings of lymphoma back last fall.  He could not tolerate chemotherapy, so the anti-rejection drugs were drastically reduced to eliminate the lymphoma.  Ofcourse, he is in the process of rejecting the kidney.  He will be on dialysis very soon.  He is spending as much, if not more, time in the hospital now as he does at home.  

            My daughter has had to deal with so much in the past couple of years and now she is looking at dealing with   even more.  She is an extremely brave individual, and manages to keep on doing what has to be done, but my heart aches for both of them.

            by tjb22 on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 09:41:37 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

    • I got lucky (0 / 0)

      I had to have my last colonoscopy under general and the anesthesia group that practices at our hospital was not in-network.  However, because they were the only practicing group in the county, it somehow all worked out where the insurance company paid.

      Of course, I didn't find that out until the day I got there and I had a very nervous couple of weeks while I waited for the bills to get paid.

      There's something about insurance, particularly health insurance, that just makes me associate jumping through hoops!

      Jen

      by MrsPastor on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 05:10:29 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • perceptions (0 / 0)

    I understand where the mom in the formula-feeding essay is coming from. But I don't see how she can state with certainty that everywhere she looked, she saw moms who had "absolutely no trouble breast feeding." Appearances can be deceiving. It may have looked like I had no problem, but I too suffered through the cracked bleeding nipples, two bouts of mastitis, etc. I had to supplement with formula until 6 weeks, when my milk supply caught up to my very hungry baby. So even though I may have looked like a serene nursing mom, it took a while (and many tears) to get there. I look back and realize it was pure stubbornness on my part. I'm glad I stuck to it, but wouldn't have felt much guilt if I didn't. For me, breastfeeding was MUCH harder than labor and delivery!

    I also wonder if she isn't reading into people when they look at her. Is it really judgment and disdain? Could her guilt be coloring how she reacts to other people? Obviously when someone comes out and SAYS something ignorant and nasty, there's no mistaking it. But her own guilt could be making her imagine dirty looks that just aren't there.

    by Erika on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 02:33:22 PM PDT

    • Well said. (0 / 0)

      I agree with you on both points.

      by Elisa on Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 04:12:37 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • I agree (0 / 0)

      That essay kind of felt like she was working through her own feelings via writing it.

      As someone who FFed, I can attest that once you become ok with it (which I was from minute one), you never feel bad about it again or think that anyone is thinking anything.

      Now if someone says something rude, which has happened to me, of course you still have the ability to get ticked.  Depending how many people say things (or if you even have one nag in your life that won't stop asking about it or trying to 'help'), it could color your view of the world and you could start to think everyone is thinking something judgemental.

      by NJmom on Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 05:51:54 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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