your son is mature beyond his years. I'm very impressed with his response!

If your children are well balanced and you're monitoring his friends well enough, then there's not a lot else you can hope for. It's depressing and gross. The things I could tell you that DH has told me... God.

I'll share one. His school had a problem-child in a girl who actually slapped a teacher last year. His fellow teachers were in an uproar since it was handled far too quietly to appease her equally verbally abusive parents.  SO she started high school last week. Apparently, her English teacher asked the class to name something they learned over the summer. Little Miss Thang raises her hand and has the gall to say, to her teacher, in front of the class: "well, I learned to give really good blow jobs this summer." Yeeeah.

Thank God the teacher had the presence of mind to say "Well, thanks for sharing. Please go to the office, as you've just flunked this class and are no longer welcome." Little Miss threw a shit fit and they called the Dean. She's flunked her first high school class in 4 days and word from the school is that they told her parents that it's too damn bad if they aren't happy, they should talk to their daughter. High school at least has the ability to do stuff like that. DH's jr. high teachers felt slightly vindicated.

it must have felt lousy to hear that your son had to deal with that. it's wrenching to send them out into the big, ugly world. i'm wondering where a kid that age is hearing a word like pussy. it's a pretty advanced curse word, in my book. do you know anything about his parents? are they the kind of people who would say that in front of him or would they be mortified to know he's going around using that word? if it were my kid, i'd want to know so i could wash that word right out of his mouth!

our kids from hearing things we'd rather they not hear.  Well, unless we want to be like the right wingers who homeschool and don't let their children mix at all with others.  This kind of name-calling and  general meanness just seems to be part of childhood.  There were kids like that when I was a kid.  Your son seems wise in being able to overlook an occasional taunt such as this.  I will overlook it if happens on occasion, but if my child is being bullied constantly, I will say something to teachers.  Sometimes it helps, and sometimes, it doesn't.  

Sometimes, however, we do better to leave it go.  While I've said something if it becomes problematic, I don't become involved myself in these matters.  I have a dear friend who does, and quite frankly, this hurts her daughter more than it helps.  

Cristian is an amazing kid. That was a wonderful comeback.

I tend to agree that unless you become a homeschooler, your kids are going to hear this stuff because their friends hear it, or see movies with it, or have older siblings to say it. Whatever you've been doing so far, you're doing it right because not only was his comeback great -- so was his last line "nah, you can tell me when I'm older."

He handled it maturely and it is wonderful that he chose to talk with you about it.  I would celebrate!  I always hope that in such situations my kids will: 1. know how to act responsibly, and 2. feel comfortable talking with their parents (& teachers) about it.  Also, I always hope that I will clearly articulate my values around the situation, to help them feel clear and validated at home.  Good work Gloria!

I go with the others in saying that I'm really impressed with Cristian's mature response. I thought it was really funny, first of all, and wow, how interesting that he'd choose to show he can't be pushed around without retaliating or responding in kind. I also like that he wanted to tell you about it, without wanting you to do anything about it. You're doing a great job with him, Gloria!

I also go along with the others in saying that it's not worth your time to wonder about the state of society; it's too depressing to get bogged down in it. I have to say, "fag" was a curse word when I was in 5th grade (20 years ago). However, I was such a naif that I thought they were talking about small pieces of kindling (the old-school definition of faggot) and why that would be a curse word. Wasn't until I asked my babysitter what it meant that I was enlightened.

I do think that kids are exposed to more, and hear more things than we used to.  I'm sure my DS8 hears stuff, even in our relatively innocent family conversations, that I never thought about at this age.

The bullying thing is the part that makes me the saddest - the name calling, the rock throwing - I know it's not "new", that bullies have been around forever - but still.....

My DS had a class bully in 1st grade and the saddest part was him learning some hard lessons about friendship - at an age when he's still got a million best friends and is open to everyone - but then to learn that not everyone is a good or trustworthy friend.

i'd love to hand over some great wisdom, but i'm young and don't have any yet. my DD has the gall to tell the kid's parents (with her parent standing next to her) all about what their kid said and she will go so far as to tell them that their own mothers would be made ill to hear that their grand babies were talking that way.(her friend once said the "B-word" and my DD said "i can't believe how horribly uncouth you are!" and walked off.)    
 But again, we are quite lucky that we are southern and my mom smacked the mouth of plenty of neighbor boys for saying such things before turning them over to their own mothers who would then dole out endless yard work and maybe even a switching if they said something really awful...like the "F-word." which i swear i thought was actually "fudge" until i was about 13.
 if i were you, i'd be thrilled about 2 things. that your son doesn't put much stock into what people think of him and also that he's educated well enough to point out someone else's good pluralization. ;) that made me laugh very much...i was a lot like that at 8...i knew who i was and was very comfortable with it...sounds like you've raised a good one!

with my son's kindergarten class! At his birthday party, his two best friends of the moment were whispering naughty words into Sean's ear, and Sean would shout them out. He had no idea what he was saying (though his friends did) or how he was being manipulated. One of the words that has come up repeatedly is "cabeza de caca", which I gather does not have quite the same effect in Spanish as the English equivalent--but I was shocked. He thinks it's funny because to him it's bathroom humor. I set him straight on that one, and  haven't heard the word since. I am also gently trying to encourage other friendships without actually saying anything bad about the potty-mouthed kids. So far, so good.

The whole episode made me realize that even when I used to swear a lot (early 20s--typical), I never used words to put people down. Situations, yes, but I would never, ever have called anyone that.