Mother Talkers

Mother Guru

by Amy

Wed Jul 18, 2007 at 11:11:35 PM PDT

Years ago I was involved with a man who was a guru-phile. He was always looking for God in human form, someone to worship and stand in the presence of. Someone to set up little altars for. I didn't share his psychology; my cynicism is like a mothball around the neck, keeping me guru-free. For awhile my boyfriend glommed onto Sai Baba, a goofy orange-robed guru with a 'fro who performed miracles. His miracles--like making great quantities of ash billow out of an empty urn--didn't seem useful to me. If God were to manifest as a human, surely he wouldn't waste his time performing lame magic tricks. Like, who needs ash?

Later, my boyfriend moved on to Amma, a superstar Indian guru who gives power hugs. People wait in line for hours to get hugged by this roly poly smiling woman who sits on a stage. An Amma camp was set up in the hills outside of Santa Fe, NM. We sat with hundreds of other people who were singing kirtan, a religious tradition of repetitively singing the same line from a Sikh hymn over and over and over again. I figured that it was supposed to be transcendant, but I was restless and bored, a tag-along non-believer who didn't know the words. I went wandering in the woods while the people formed a giant queue to get huggy with Amma. Strangely, I don't remember whether I got a hug. I only remember the white tents, the circular music, and the crowd of weeping or beaming mostly middle-aged white people. She definitely had something they needed. Or thought they needed.

Today I came across an article about Amma at Salon. The author was granted a brief interview with the guru and she explained her work, the heavy work of doling out over 26 million hugs and counting:

"I'm trying to awaken true motherhood in people, in men and women, because that is lacking in today's world. Today there are two types of poverty. The first is a lack of basic necessities. The second is a lack of love and compassion. As far as I am concerned, the second is more important because if there is love and compassion then the first kind can be taken care of."

  • ::

The author lined up to experience the embrace firsthand:

Then it's my turn for some subjective experience. I'm a Californian, so I'm down with hugs, but it is rare to meet a master. As a VIP for the day, I get an E ticket that enables me to skip the hours-long line. I feel kind of lame about taking cuts, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the wait, as is so often the case in this world of desire, amplifies the fun. But there I am, a minute later, headlocked by a perfumed lady who maybe, just maybe, is the mother of the universe.

She rubs my back with her hand as she mumbles into my right ear, a string of syllables I first take to be some esoteric mantra but that gradually reveal themselves to be the homeliest of addresses: "Darling, darling, darling, darling..." I receive no shivering blasts of shakti, the feminine energy cultivated by yogis and sought by devotees. But a warm, childlike nostalgia seeps into my heart, and I have some vague sense of being in the middle of the ocean at night. Then I'm back in the light of the day with a smiling Indian lady handing me a chocolate...

There have been many times when Jude has gotten hurt and come to me wailing,"Momma momma momma..." On a few occasions, I have comforted him and yet he continued to call out Momma as if I were not the person he was seeking. Like I was a pale imitation of the the absolute comforter he was crying for. I have done this myself, when I've been really sick or in pain--called out for Mother, yearning for the feeling of "Mother" rather than the real person who was my mom. I wanted to be encompassed, subsumed, taken back to a warm, dark, safe place of connectedness.

Amma's devotees find that place in her sweat and tear-smudged bosom. Although I still don't have much use for a guru, the world could definitely use more mother love!

Tags: Amma, guru, spiritual, devotee, compassion, god, love (all tags)

Permalink | 22 comments

  • asdf (0 / 0)

    Amma sounds cool.

    The guru thing sounds weird to me, but I guess we all have our figures that we turn towards for guidance in our own way, whether it's a musician, or a writer, or an artist.

    by NJmom on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 05:29:40 AM PDT

  • All I can think is (0 / 0)

    ...i'm in the WRONG businesses and there's a sucker born every minute.  Seriously.  waiting hours for a HUG from a stranger?   What do you guys DO out there on the west coast? Don't any of you have jobs? LOL... ;-)

    by MKatherine1966 on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 05:59:07 AM PDT

    • the west in general (0 / 0)

      I dated this guy when I lived in Colorado, but it does seem like there is a greater concentration of new-agey people or seekers in general in the west.  

      From the article, I liked this quote from one of Amma's devotees:
      "She's taking money from crazy housewives and giving it to widows and disaster victims in India. These Westerners are actually having dramatic benefits in their lives, and they in turn are actually housing and feeding the people in India who need it. What a great compassionate way to take from the rich and give to the poor. Even if it were shallow and false, it's still beautiful."

      They may be suckers, but their desperate need for a big hug is building hospitals in India. It's a strange world!!!

      by Amy on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 08:17:09 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • Yeah, I hear you. (0 / 0)

      Ofcourse, I'm not a "hugger"....too into my personal space.  However, I don't need to hug a guru to want to help the less fortunate of the world.

      by tjb22 on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 08:59:33 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • of course we don't have jobs! (0 / 0)

      How else would we have time for yoga, meditation, Kabbalah, Pilates, $5 coffee, beach walks, earnestly gazing into one another's eyes.... If we need money we just, you know, actualize it.  It's a beautiful thing.  You have GOT to come out here and see la vie, c'est fabulous!

      by mamacita on Fri Jul 20, 2007 at 08:57:04 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • Hmmm... (0 / 0)

    Maybe there's so much disconnection in the world that people will look for connection anywhere, including a guru that hugs people.  She does make a good point, though... love and compassion are important.

    "If it's not Scottish, it's crap!" ~Mike Meyers

    by 1plain1peanut on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 07:37:16 AM PDT

  • Many times (0 / 0)

    As I've held DS, who still qualifies as a baby, I've thought it's sort of sad because this moment of his life, which he won't really remember, is probably the most loved, comfortable, secure, and safe he will ever feel.  He may experience it somewhat with a true love, but nothing replaces mama.  If I've done my job, it will be a happy but vague feeling that hopefully will carry him through his days.

    I think of all the stories I've heard of soldiers, who when faced with ultimate fear, can think of nothing except their mothers.  My FIL was a medic in Viet Nam and told me that this was the most common thing the injured soldiers would call out for, regardless of age, race, rank.  They called for their mothers.  So I think I'll go snuggle my little monkey right now!

    by cynmill on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 08:18:15 AM PDT

    • You know, I just think (0 / 0)

      of all the people I know who have lost their mothers.  Fortunately I still have my mother, but my husband lost his not quite two years ago.  I remember my mother's feelings when her mother died...almost all will say that they feel "orphaned" and somehow more alone in the world.  I guess there is just nothing that comes near to replacing that bond.  No one else can make one feel so completely loved.

      by tjb22 on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 09:04:20 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • This story reminded me (0 / 0)

    of something a friend who is a widow once told me. She was in her 70s, her son was grown, married and lived in another state -- and she told me how much it meant to her for someone to hug her. Living alone, with no family nearby, a loving touch from another person was so important to her.

    So I understand, at some level, this need to be hugged. I am a bit mystified as to why so many people would seek this out from a stranger, especially since they are not necessarily "lonely" people. But, then, the spiritual can often be mysterious -- I know my religious beliefs are fairy tales to some, so I guess it's all a matter of perspective.

    My initial reaction, though, was somewhat like MKatherine's.

    by Lisa in Austin on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 09:30:10 AM PDT

  • I'm a big hugger. (0 / 0)

    I love giving hugs. I love getting hugs. I love coming across someone who gives great hugs. Let's face it, so many of us, on any given day, could really use a good hug.

    If this lady is willing to give comfort and people are willing to make donations, and she turns around and uses that money to help others, I have zero problem with it.

    I agree that motherlove is a potent salve. I hope I will always provide my children with as much as they need.

    If you like hugs as much as I do, check out this Dave Matthews video-- it's guaranteed to make you smile.

    by Erika on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 11:26:50 AM PDT

  • I'm a hugger (0 / 0)

    My husband claims he married me because of two key hugs - one on our first date (the ole first date hug :) and another in the middle of a visit to my parents house for Christmas when our relationship was hanging by a thread. So never underestimate the power of a hug LOL.

    Back in the day, I dated a Dutch guy. When we hung out with his friends a couple of times, I would hug them hello and goodbye. They would say things like "You Americans and your hugs". Then one of the guys said that after a year of living in the US, he had grown to really like hugs. But it took some getting used to.

    RachelD

    by RachelD on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 01:50:15 PM PDT

  • gurus good and bad (0 / 0)

    I have a close friend who lives in Europe who is very involved with Amma and her organization. She was at the ashram in India when it was hit by the tsunami. After barely surviving with her life(literally in a building with rising water)Amma put the visitors to work helping the local people. While I don't agree with the spiritual need for gurus(teachers, sure, but not the whole dependent disciple/guru relationship) - it is true that Amma has raised a lot of money for social service projects for the poor in India. There is a big aspect of providing mothers for people from broken lives that is big with Amma - they sell dolls of her, complete with the scented oil she wears - and I just find that creepy.

    Unconditional love is still good. It's my job, in fact.

    by chun yang on Thu Jul 19, 2007 at 05:34:21 PM PDT

  • measles (0 / 0)

    Amma came here...and there was an outbreak of measles amongst the people who went to get hugs. Five children (unvaccinated) came down with it, and one was severely ill.

    How's that for bad karma with the good?!!

    by aussieyank on Mon Aug 06, 2007 at 01:21:36 AM PDT

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