Mother Talkers

The Dog Beach

by smuchie

Sun Jul 15, 2007 at 10:44:24 PM PDT

 I was looking for a subject that I thought would appropriately introduce me to this site.
I was tempted to start in on politics, or environmental concerns for my first diary.  However, something happened to me today that I thought would be perfect to share.
I took my family to our closest dog beach today.  We go every Sunday to treat our wonderful Rottweiler who has been diagnosed with lymphoma.  We always have a great time and so does he.  I usually strap the baby to me in the Baby Bjorn, and my husband and toddler run and play.  We all take turns throwing the frisbee for our dog.
 Today as we were romping around, a couple with two small dogs off leash came walking by.  As they passed us, one of these little dogs came at my toddler nipping and snarling.  My toddler loves dogs, and was confused and scared.  My husband scooped her up and checked for any bite marks.  We were calming her down when, without so much as an apology, the couple promptly put that dog on a leash and walked down the shore away from us.

Here's the point.
 From an ideological standpoint, I have always considered myself a pacifist, for lack of a better word.  My whole life I think I have forgiven people a lot in the way of rudeness, offensiveness, exploitation etc etc.  This is also coupled with the fact that as a child I was never taught to stand up for myself.  In fact I shyed away from confrontation because there was so much of it in my house growing up.
Today, however, I watched this couple and thier dogs casually make thier way down the beach.  The further they got, the madder I got.  I felt my heart start to pound and my teeth were gritting together, and something inside of me said "No. Not this time. I'm saying something.".  I made my way down the beach with a strong stride.  My husband called out to me, knowing what I was going to do.  I didn't listen, I just trucked down the beach to catch up with the couple. When I got within earshot, I called to them "Excuse me!".  They turned around.  I then proceeded to sternly tell them that thier dog needs to be socialized with children before they let him off his leash at a family beach.  I then told them that thier dog didn't break my child's skin, but it frightened her and they need to be aware of thier animals tendencies.  They apologized.
 Afterward, I felt like a real mother.  This sort of thing is completely out of charecter for me, but when it came to sticking up for my daughter, my hackles had no problem ruffling up.  No matter what my past hang-up's were, no matter what boundaries I had put on myself, once again motherhood proves that I could dig deeper, try harder and ultimatly change who I am just to be better for my children.  Just to turn the wheel around for them, and teach them how I wish I had been taught.

Tags: motherhood, changes (all tags)

Permalink | 9 comments

  • small dogs play by different rules? (0 / 0)

    Welcome to MT!
    Your story reminded my of an experience I had a local park that has a play area for toddlers. A mother chained her HIGHLY strung and barking little lap dog to the fence surrounding the toddler play area. My son walked by the dog and it lunged and bit his arm. It didn't break the skin, but it scared my son. I was mad.

    The dog's owner was sitting in the grass, leisurely talking with her friends. I approached her and said, "Your dog just bit my son." She smiled up at me and said leisurely, "Oh, I'm sorry." Then she casually went back to her conversation. I was stunned and left the park with my crying kid. I didn't really know what to do next. As I left the park, two other women told me that they had seen what happened and that it was really screwed up.

    It made me wonder if some owners of small dogs see their dogs as less threatening and more benign, and therefore sort of forgiven for any transgression. They can't do damage like a bigger dog with a stronger jaw, so they play by different rules. Whatever. I couldn't fricking believe she chained the animal up in the toddler play area.

    by Amy on Sun Jul 15, 2007 at 11:20:02 PM PDT

    • Can't even imagine (0 / 0)

      your anger at that. Oh.... I would have had a FIT. She's SORRY? You could call the police on her, break the skin or no. I don't get people who are so irresponsible.

      I have a very bossy dog with some dominance issues. We were so careful when we trained her to make sure you can take food out of her mouth while she's eating, make her sit and lay down with a hand gesture and have to consistently reinforce that we are her pack leaders. We've taken her to training courses and learned a lot- that said, she is a big dog and gets hyper when new people show up and still likes to jump on grown men for some odd reason. She can also knock my daughter over in a second with her enormous butt. If she even so much as gets too friendly with someone, invades their personal space or anything like that, we are so quick to correct her behavior. It is unbelievable to me that a dog would bite at a kid and an owner would ignore it. Crazy. I'm mad FOR you.

      Cause I love pictures:
      Kyla Anne
      title=

      by lilianna28 on Mon Jul 16, 2007 at 09:03:09 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    • OMG. Really. (0 / 0)

      to both of your stories.  Good grief.

      As my Dad always says - You can't make this shit up.  People are so amazing in their disregard for others sometimes.

      karen

      by karen m on Tue Jul 17, 2007 at 05:25:34 PM PDT

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  • Ah Ha! (0 / 0)

    I think you've hit on something there.
    As I mentioned, we have a Rottweiler, and we go through all kinds of breed prejudice every day.  People think he's a monster, even though he is a big black marshmallow who is WONDERFUL with kids.
    The neighborhood we live in is filled with small dogs, and many of them are "bitey".
    I think that Rottwelers and Pit Bulls get all the bad press, even though ANY breed is dangerous if raised by the wrong person.
    I used to be a veteranary technician, and the only times I got bit were a 16 year old toy poodle, and a miniature schnauzer!

    by smuchie on Mon Jul 16, 2007 at 07:51:43 AM PDT

    • Dog Whisperer (0 / 0)

      I love me some Cesar Millan and it always strikes me as funny that 75% of the issues seem to be with small dogs! There is definitely a presumption that since you can pick up the dog and walk away, they don't have to be trained the same way. There is also the confusion with small dogs who are treated like "babies" and wind up thinking they are on equal (or leaders of) the humans that take care of them.

      Good for you for standing up for yourself! It sounds like you were polite and direct and that is all that matters. And welcome. The best dogs at our dog part are two rots names Jake and Elwood. They are ridiculously well trained, well behaved and love to be petted.

      Pit Bulls make me nervous, because there seem to be a lot of untrained ones in our neighborhood. That said, watch Dog Whisperer shows you that it's not the breed, it's the human.

      by lilianna28 on Mon Jul 16, 2007 at 08:57:51 AM PDT

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    • Pit bull owners (0 / 0)

      We live in a quiet suburban neighborhood.  One of our neighbors is about the most irresponsible dog owner ever.  She went through about 3 dogs that either ran away or were given away.  Then she started dating a guy with pitbulls.  It was such bad news.  They were aggressive and could be very dangerous when they escaped her yard.  There were several close calls with neighborhood children and one of them threatened me.  Unfortunately, and even though I couldn't stand these dogs in my neighborhood I felt this was sad as it truly was not their fault, they had to be put down because they became too dangerous.  I think pit bulls tend to get a lot of bad press because too many irresponsible people tend to own them.

      by music teacher on Mon Jul 16, 2007 at 11:41:22 AM PDT

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    • poodles (0 / 0)

      I was about 10 when we went on a trip to see some distant relatives and stayed in their home. They had two toy poodles. If I got into a room with either one they would come at me aggressively and barking. I remember having t tiptoe around, always knowing where the dogs were so I wouldn't run into them.

      It's amazing that my love for animals and dogs was high enough that it didn't put me off all dogs, only toy poodles.

      by shenanigans on Mon Jul 16, 2007 at 05:41:36 PM PDT

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  • Great diary (0 / 0)

    Welcome!  As a dog lover, I liked hearing what you had to say.  Unfortunately, there are apathetic pet owners just like there are inattentive parents.  It sounds like those people maybe have the attitude that your kid should stay away from their pet.  Uncool!  Whether you have children in your life or not, if your dog is out in public, it should not behave badly towards kids.

    Great job on being Mama Bear.  I tend to let louder, more aggressive people have their way, so I'm waiting for the first time that someone messes with my kid and I have to get politely nasty.

    by cynmill on Mon Jul 16, 2007 at 02:54:13 PM PDT

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