Packing My Bags
Fri May 04, 2007 at 06:55:59 PM PDT
For those Mters that know me due to this wonderful site, you may remember that I have long been challenged by a knee joint without any cartilage in it. When I was 16 years old I underwent a surgical operation that removed most of my cartilage due to damage from athletics and other pursuits. More than a few decades later, I have come to the end of the road with regard to using my right knee.
So, I am packing my bags to head to the hospital on Monday to, yup, you guessed it, get a new knee! On the one hand (or knee), I am grateful for the possibility of a new knee, but on the other, I confess I am mortified at the thought of surgery. I've had several major surgeries and while I'm thankful, the drugs and the recoveries are not a walk in the park. Some of the reasons for that mortification are rational and others, well just plain old irrational fears. Nevertheless, I am headed to surgery in the a.m. on Monday.
I called my son today and told him I was planning on taking something of his with me along with something of his sister's so that I could feel them with me. He is in San Diego at college. My daughter is in high school locally.
I was planning on taking a medal he had won that brought back fond memories of the days when he ran cross country in high school. When he ran in meets for his team, those days are some of my fondest memories of him during those four years. Cross country provided him a wonderful outlet and connection to a great group of friends. The locations of the meets provided a pristine backdrop of rolling hills and dirt trails over which the runners would compete. All the spectators were challenged to find a vantage point to take in the familiar landscape of their own child running the distance, mile after mile. No racquets, or balls, or pads, or nets, just shorts and top, a pair of shoes and the earth beneath them. The medal I was going to take was a particularly special one that he had earned and symbolized something very emotional and unique that I had come to understand about him and his choices to run cross country. It was a favorite of his.
But he said to me "Mom, you can take my medal, but why don't you take my Boo Bear, it will be so much softer for you to hold...you know the one I mean, that your childhood best friend (also named Boo) sent you when I was born? It's in the playroom. It's always been a favorite of mine."
Well, you can guess what I just packed.
What I am taking to have my daughter's spirit with me is a scrapbook she made for me titled "like mother, like daughter"....she put together photos and quotes and a letter from her to me. She was going to give it to me for Mother's Day, but she said she couldn't wait.
I love knowing I will have those parts of them like talisman with their spirits imbued inside and infused with memories and love. I can feel their healing properties even in typing these words.
So, I'm here at home counting down the last couple of days until I bid a fond fare-thee-well to my right knee. If you think of it, give a shout out in your hearts on Monday morning around 10:30 PST...as they wheel me into the operating room, I'll be all the better for it knowing the full power of the MTer community is with me. I sure would appreciate it.
If I don't get back online before Mother's Day --- May you all enjoy a happy one.
UPDATE*** I'm just wanting all MTERS to know how much my heart lifts when I read the comments posted up on my diary. I will take your MTer spirit with me Monday a.m. Thank you for your support!
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