Mother Talkers

Passing on political values

Sun Apr 08, 2007 at 11:02:04 AM PDT

I didn't read pat of butter's diary until today. I really enjoyed the comment thread that got going. Love to read about all the different types of families, and the converging circumstances that lead people down one path or another...
-Amy

I started thinking about this question because a diary on DailyKos asked how people grew up to be a progressive Dem.

My father's political views have changed quite a bit over time (he's gone from left to right - long story), but my mother was born, raised, and remains a Democrat.  She is really the source of my political views and values; and her parents were the source of hers, particularly her father's.  She remembers her mother crying when FDR died.  We talked all the time growing up about politics, and we continue to talk about it to this day.

My husband grew up in a generally Democratic family, although his dad is something of a Reagan Democrat, but his family never really discussed politics growing up.  

We talk a lot about politics at home - with each other and sometimes directly with the kids if they ask (i.e. my 6 year old; the 3 year old isn't asking much about it yet).  It's way too early to tell, of course, whether our beliefs will "stick" with them.  I want to raise independent thinkers, but on the other hand it would be tough if they grew up to be right-wingers.  I guess that's part of the whole "Question authority ... except for mommy" idea!

How did you become a progressive?  Did your parents discuss politics around the dinner table?  Are your views similar to theirs?  Are you planning, or attempting, to pass on your political views - if so, what are you doing (or planning to do) to achieve that?

Tags: children, politics (all tags)

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  • Mom was a registered Republican, (0 / 0)

    Dad was a Democrat, and both encouraged us kids to question authority of all stripes. I guess that's why my political leanings don't fall neatly into one party or another.  My folks tended to debate "right vs. wrong", not "right vs. left".

  • Life experiences changed me (0 / 0)

    I was raised in a Republican household, practicing what would be considered an alternative religion, in the heart of very red Orange County Calif. That combination early on created a pretty socially liberal Republican voter. My parents, especially my father is almost more anti-Democrat than he is a loyal Republican. He hates unions with a passion! It's really amusing sometimes.

    Back to me - as I moved through my adult life, my own life experiences drove me politically more and more to the left. I saw the value in government intervention in businesses forcing environmental regulations on them. I  benefited from government aid as a pregnant college student and then very young mother with minimal income. I've watched friends without insurance suffer medically and financially. By the time I was in my early 30s, I knew I could no longer support the GOP. I consider my political identity to be constantly evolving, but the trend is definitely more and more to the left!

    As far as my kids - I really don't talk politics too much at home. My oldest is 21 and first registered to vote independent, but voted for Kerry in '04. His initial political views are just very distrustful of the government which is kind of a typical teen/post teen attitude. The 10 year old has only recently asked questions about things outside of his little world :-) I am conscious that my ex identifies as a Republican which is truly odd given he is a Swedish citizen! He's not a wingnut though - we totally agree on no religion thankfully! Therefore I am being cautious to some extent. I try to provide both sides, then tell Alex how I feel, but then also tell him that I know his dad might feel differently and that he should discuss it there too. My goal is simply to make sure Alex learns that there are two sides to most every story and never to rush to an opinion without complete knowledge.

  • Jesus's daddy was a union man (0 / 0)

    I love this subject and may post more on it later.
    To be (kinda) brief, I was a raised a liberal Christian (UCC) in Massachusetts by pacifist educators.  My mom is pastor's kid who grew up in VT.  My dad is a midwestern farmboy from a long, long line of teachers and union folks.  He was a concientious objector.  

    They met at Oberlin.  They travelled the world together (and not) and didn't have kids till my mom was 33.  They speak foreign languages for a living.  They have friends from every inhabited continent.  A good number of my childhood friends were different colors, nationalities, religions, although I grew up in a white, white Irish/Italian Catholic town.

    I also grew up in Thailand (2 yrs.) and in a minivan and a tent, travelling the US every summer.  I'd visited Asia, Africa, Central America and 45 states by the time I was 18.

    I've had some very rough times with my parents over the years, but I admire them and the worldview they helped shape for me.  

    I'm not a Christian.  I'm not a union member.  I'm not a pacifist.  I'm not even straight, heh.  But I'm them.  Fairness is my holy grail.  Equality of opportunity for everyone, and soul-deep patriotism that respects the rest of the world.  Whatever else I lose or gain, I have that and I hope to hell I can pass it on the my kids.

  • My parents were both democrats. (0 / 0)

    Very FDR-pro labor-liberal types.  However, I think it goes beyond being simply a politically partisan type question...my parents were the type of people who do not suffer fools lightly.  We were always encouraged to think for ourselves and to be very wary of blindly trusting any particular institution.  I was always encouraged to question EVERYTHING...growing up, my parents routinely "talked back" to the evening news...if they didn't believe what was being said, they said so.  They were, and still are, incredibly nurturing people as well...long before anyone emphasized the importance of helping children have high self esteem my parents did so.  They also threw out all the old ideas about how babies, children and parents should relate to each other...for instance, I can't imagine my mother ever letting a baby or child "cry itself to sleep".  We had few hard and fast rules and judgment was emphasized more that simply following rules.  

    My husband, on the other hand, came from a very conservative republican family.  His upbringing was very different than mine.  He was taught to always "follow the rules", "listen to his betters" and accept the status quo.  He and his siblings were brought up so rigidly that they literally had a difficult time making even mundane decisions as adults.  My late sister in law once told me that she had a difficult time even knowing what kind of clothing she really liked or preferred.  My husband, his brother and his sister all left home by the time they were 18.

    Because of our different upbringings, I think my husband was at least partly drawn to me because I had few hangups or issues...he's always been kind of envious, in fact.  We've worked to bring up our children in much the same way as I was brought up.  Not only do I truly believe its the right way, its also the only way I know how to do it, quite frankly.

    So far, my kids are politically very liberal.  I actually got a lecture from my 20 year old daughter today about still buying the local newspaper despite their recent shabby treatment of their workforce.  My 19 year old son describes himself as a socialist.

  • Life experiences here, too (0 / 0)

    My parents are very apolitical - although my father is a wealthy business man so tends to vote Rethug. He's also a 'recovering Catholic' (his words) so we were raised not necessarily atheist, but anti, anti, anti organized religion.

    I came to progressive politics through vegetarianism, and then feminism, which I came to via a lesbian relationship. I then went to a very progressive, liberal arts college which cemented my views and helped nudge me toward a more socialist view of the world.

  • Good question (0 / 0)

    Wow, good question.  I really don't know what my parents were growing up.  I like to think I came into my own thoughts about politics on my own but I'm sure I didn't.

    I actually think that growing up Catholic made me a Democrat.  Caring about the poor, constantly being told about love your neighbor as yourself.  

    The nun yelling at us when we all wrote that we wanted to be rich in our 8th grade yearbook, yelling that she was so sad none of us wanted to help someone, teach someone, do something good for the world.

    • silent parents (0 / 0)

      This is a great question.

      My parents never spoke of politics, ever. In the 5th grade we ran an mock-presidential election in our school at the same time as the national election. I was SO excited by the process that I went home and asked my parents who they had voted for AND THEY WOULDN'T TELL ME!

      As I grew up and realized that poltics were going to be a large part of my life, I started to talk more about it with my parents. After all the not-talking, turns out I ended up just like them as loyal democrats.

      My son is 8 months old and I have yet to decide how I am going to handle this question. I love that my journey was not dictated for me, but I just don't know if I am going to be able to help myself!

      My son's laugh - the best way to start a day.

      by Lenina Carton on Mon Apr 09, 2007 at 01:35:54 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • My parents were active in progressive politics (0 / 0)

    Growing up, my sister and I spent our weekends leafleting, stuffing envelopes, marching in rallies, and protesting.

    My mom was a Democrat, feminist, NARAL chapter leader, and campaign manager for a state legislator (twice) and school board candidate.  My dad was a Democrat, active in Common Cause, and is still very active in politics today.  My mom's side of the family is very progressive (and I see them regularly), and my dad's side of the family is mostly made up of conservative fundamentalist Christians (and I have very little contact with them).

    DH's parents were also liberal but they were an anomaly in the family.  His grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins are wealthy corporate conservatives.  Everyone gets together for family events and we just don't talk about politics.

    Our 8 and 5 year old children are very aware of our views about the current administration.  We try to emphasize that a lot of people are working hard to improve the situation by voting, changing laws, speaking out, etc.  Their own "activism" so far has only been at the local and state level; marching and stuffing envelopes to increase school funding.

  • conservative upbringing/radical leftie kid (0 / 0)

    I grew up in East Texas, small town with conservative parents.I think I just was always more tolerant and outside of the mainstream views. I would go to church(a moderate church - United Methodist- with conservative members there) and wonder why it was segregated. I know in high school my friends used to be careful of their language around me because I did not like the casual racial slurs that people used there unthinkingly. I was a hippie in the 60s and I think to this day, my family wonders where I came from.(like what planet!)

    My parents were Democrats when I was young, but conservative who moved Republican. The thing I most throw back at my mother now is that when I was young she explained segregation to me as God's will to not have different groups "mixing." I remind her that if I had listened to her I would not have my wonderful son, who was adopted from China and who she thinks is the most adorable in the world. Of course, she thinks of him as "white." Really.

    I will say, I was taught personal kindness and generosity on an INDIVIDUAL level - my dad would go out of his way to help someone, black or white - if he knew them and they asked. Still, in broad view, he was plenty racist.I could never reconcile that.

    • Wow (0 / 0)

      When I read the beginning of your comment, I thought "did I already comment on this?"

      I grew up in East Texas, small town [Longview] with conservative parents. Also went to the Methodist Church.

      [okay, here's where my story takes a different turn]

      I did buy into the conservative message while living at home. The first election I could vote in was Reagan/Carter and that was pretty one-sided in a lot of places. And, at that time, I still living at home [jr. college] and getting a one-sided commentary on politics.

      Fortunately for me, my education taught me to think and be rational, which led me to a much more progressive viewpoint. Growing up, I always heard Democrats equated with being almost Communist. Then I read a book of MLK's sermons where he talked about why he thought communism was wrong. Well, honestly, I felt lied to by my family, and it made me truly question everything I'd ever been taught about politics. By the time Iran-Contra happened, I was fully on the other side. The fact that I worked for the state human services agency, seeing folks all the time who really needed food stamps, AFDC, etc., not these "cadillac welfare queens" that the Republicans spouted off about, helped that progression a lot.

      Having gay friends was probably the biggest influence to get me to a more progressive faith than what I had been raised in. While I was raised Methodist, which can be fairly traditional or quite liberal, I was definitely raised in the traditional kind of church.

      So now I'm the only liberal in my family of origin and we just don't talk politics. DH came from a very apolitical family, conservative Democrats mostly, who became Reagan Democrats, but really not engaged in politics at all. He went to business school and heard a fairly Republican economic perspective, but came to the progressive side about the same time I did [although we barely knew each other at the time]. We don't really talk politics with his family, either, because his parents view leaders in a fairly simple and trusting way.

      We do talk politics a lot in our household, and our 10 year old twins certainly know where we stand on the current administration. We always tell them, though, that they have family who feels differently than we do and it is important to always examine both sides of an issue and not just blindly take a side. Of course I would be devastated if they grow up to be Republicans but I think that they are learning [unlike I did] to think about the issues and not just blindly follow one person. I also think they are learning how our religious beliefs shape our faith, and how there is a consistency in what we believe about God and how we think we as a people should treat others.

      • sister lisa! (0 / 0)

        I think people in East Texas are all sort of related - for one thing,many of us ARE(if you are like my family - in East Texas since the 1820s land grants) and temperment(ornery). My difference from you is that I had the 60s to question authority(including "Mommy" who I still have trouble speaking to about anything in the world except relatives.)

        I was from south of you, in the Piney Woods of East Texas. And I lived to tell the tale!

        • Yeah, "lived to tell" (0 / 0)

          is right! I look back at my time growing up and think "I am SO glad I got out of there." The people can be very nice but there is a LOT of lingering racism, sexism and general assumption that everyone goes to church twice a week and thinks alike.

          Austin is definitely the place for me!

          And portions of my family have been in Texas since at least the mid 1800s so yeah, we probably are kin somewhere in there! Glad to know ya!

          • same to you! (0 / 0)

            If you are at Yearly Kos in Chicago I will give you a copy of the book I wrote about my Texas sheriff grandfather. You will probably recognize a lot of the old coots!

            I think Texas upbringing gives strengths where it lacks tolerance. At least I feel I have a long view of things, an understanding that things are not as bad as they could be(because they are not the Civil War where great- grandmother Saphronia nearly starved to death!)and a quirky kind of humor. I just wish people there hadn't lost their collective common sense in the last couple of decades.

  • raised a dem by dems (0 / 0)

    my parents were both dems and vocal about politics.  my father instilled a moral value in us that stuck as well.  growing up in kentucky we heard racial slurs.  and a brief stint in decatur illinois provided even worse.  my father ALWAYS corrected us gently as small children and much more forcefully as teens.  i grew up with a sense of fairness and morality about acceptance of all people.

    it will be interesting for my dd.  my ex was raised by republicans and they too were active politically.  however since our divorce my ex has turned into a rather hateful version of republican with a social bent that leans towards non acceptance of immigrants and gays and lesbians.  my 16 yo dd is mortified.  i think teaching kindness trumps all. my father instilled this at such an early age that even with my parents democratic views, the fairness was what took hold.  the same will hold true for my daughter i suspect.

  • dem raised by dems too (0 / 0)

    but one of my sisters is pretty right wing. Reaction maybe? A lot of Neo-republicans had liberal parents.

    • siblings? what happened? (0 / 0)

      As posted above, I share my lefty leanings with both of my parents but my brother has become, at the age of 30, a raging republican.

      I try to blame it on his 3 years spent in the deep south, but in reality, the change was coming long before then. None of us can figure out why.

      My son's laugh - the best way to start a day.

      by Lenina Carton on Mon Apr 09, 2007 at 01:38:11 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  • Raised a Dem. (0 / 0)

    My entire family is Republican -- all conservative, some religious, some not. My grandpa used to tease me by giving me Rush Limbaugh books when I was younger, and calling me a Mush-head. My mom was the only family member who became a liberal democrat, and so that's how I was raised. She wasn't a radical political type of person, and sometimes I wondered if she became a liberal just to piss off her parents. I believe she was more conservative than she let on. I've never identified with any issues on the Republican side, but I'd say my husband is even more lefty than I am. I guess I consider myself left of center. It will be interesting to see how our views rub off on our kids.

  • Another dem/progressive raised by dems (0 / 0)

    My mother is more politically vocal than my dad, and I'm sure I absorbed alot of their opinions.  I don't remember talking politics directly with them, but my  mom has strong feelings about children's issues and health issues, so I think that's where I got pulled.

    My 15yo is definitely a lefty - hard to avoid it between me and DH.  But DH is really trying to help her be an independent thinker - he's probably closest to a true Independent - and is a very critical thinker.

    One issue that is hard for us (both me in relationship to my parents, and between me, DH, and DD) is the state of Israel.  My parents were raised, and raised me, to be very loyal (unquestioningly) to Israel.  For Jews of my grandparents' and parents' generation, this was the realization of a dream. For me, and even more so to my daughter, Israel is not a dream, it's a real place, and a place that has some difficulties and that is not always "right".  My husband is not Jewish, and thinks Israel is often "wrong".  I find I cannot discuss this with my folks.

  • Another raised by progressive Dems (0 / 0)

    Actually my mom is a Dem, my dad is pretty skeptical of the Democrats.  I remember him voting for Barry Conners (?) in 1980, he voted for Nader in '96 and '00.  (He was sure Gore would win Iowa in '00- he was right but by only 8000 votes - I always tell him he was damn lucky G. did win Iowa or I wouldn't talk to him until after Bush is finished)  He voted for Kerry in '04.  He is the kind of Democrat that makes Kos, MYDD and me crazy although I still respect his thinking.  My mom is your average NPR Democrat.  

    Both my parents were raised in Conservative households and believe it or not my mom changed because of the influence of her sorority sisters in the early '60 at the University of Michigan.  My dad first decided in his early teens that he didn't believe in the existence of God, then that Republicans were full of shit.

    Ironically blogs have brought my dad and I a lot closer.  Our political interests are different, but overlap.  He likes more leftist ideological blogs where I like more "advancing the progressive movement ones".  (We both have Glenn Greenwald, Crooks and Liars and Josh Marshall bookmarked)

    Both my kids say openly they can't stand Bush because he is a liar.  (they can not say that at school I tell them) I could try to have them grow up in a more open minded household but it is hard enough for me to keep profanities out of the same sentence as Bush's name - I just can not keep my opinions out of it.  I called Nixon "tricky dicky" at age 3 and I turned out OK.  I think it gave me a healthy skepticism of government.

    Wow I didn't know I had so much to write about this topic!

  • Dem mostly (0 / 0)

    My dad is a republican (not a bible thumper, just the everybody-for-himself selfish kind). Of course, since he believes so strongly that everyone must fend for themselves, he abandoned us when I was 6 and thus was a non-factor in my upbringing-- except of course to instill in me a strong dislike for the everyone-for-himself philosphy.

    My mom was a Reagan Democrat, but who in the white suburbs wasn't. She liked McCain back when you could call him a "maverick" and not bust out laughing. She also had this thing when I was in college that I was too liberal and mistrustful of corporations, which "do so much good for the community." She's done a 180 on that one, and has almost but not quite admitted I was right. She now says she will never vote Republican again. She has always been socially liberal.

    The rest of my family is all-union: teachers, truck drivers, electricians . . .  And all Catholic too. I never thought there was a conflict between being a Democrat and being a Catholic growing up. Now so many churches say you must be repub to be a good Catholic.  It's still weird to me.

  • Old Chicago Dems (0 / 0)

    My dad was an old Chicago Democrat.  My mom was born and raised in Scotland and basically followed suit and became a Democrat along with him.  Being a Dem in Chicago way back when had it's advantages.  I remember my Dad getting a politician to help bury the electrical lines in our backyard... we ended up being the only house in the neighborhood with buried lines!  It was all about who you knew back then.  ;-)

    In the mid 80's when I turned 18 and was allowed to vote, Much to my father's dismay, I voted for Reagan!  We were living in Florida at the time, and it was sort of conservative.  Many of my friends were Republicans and I think I just caved to peer pressure.  Plus, I think there was a bit of rebellion involved.  That would be the last time, though.  I returned to my progressive roots for subsequent elections.  I didn't really become active in politics until Clinton ran for the second time in '96.  It seems like every election since then, I become more and more involved.  

    DH's dad is a staunch Republican and his mother is a Dem.  Living with me, he's swayed to the Dem side.  My kids will probably end up being Democrats, as they go through the religious education classes in our UU church.  They have many opportunities to learn about social justice, which to me is a progressive value.  

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

    by 1plain1peanut on Mon Apr 09, 2007 at 06:25:12 AM PDT

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