this seems primarily a spiritual thing - I guess whatever floats your boat...

BUT, I see real danger in believing that your child is superior to you, knows the world in a better way than you do, is here to teach us.  This sounds like another way to over-empower kids.

BTW, it's not the first time that kids with autism were seen as spiritual rather than needing education.

I've read other stories claiming Indigo Children have telekinetic powers and other such abilities, so I'm a tad skeptical of the "movement" such as it is.

The reason I even heard of it is that I had a nice email exchange with a woman who teaches at a private school for the gifted when we were choosing a school for Miles. I told her about Miles's eccentric personality, which at times has led us to think he could be classified as Asperger's (we've since decided he has emotional intensity but does connect with others in a way that seems to preclude such a diagnosis).  The teacher's mother, also a teacher, then joined the conversation and forwarded me information about the Indigo Child movement.  I was put off by the extreme claims, though the main traits they listed fit Miles to a tee.

and I'm no exception. Coincidentally, we've heard "Indigo Child" and "Child of the Blue Ray" more than once from others. I too think it's dangerous on many levels, especially with what I've seen in practice.  I've seen a handful of kids who have clear developmental problems, autism, or some other diagnosis who are not getting treatment. Many of the moms homeschool b/c they do not want their child labeled (which I completely understand) but the children I know really need outside therapy.

when my son was about 2, and I saw a lot of similarities in the characteristics of him to what is described as Indigo.  In the book, the author also mentions that certain adults can be Indigo as well.  I forget the actual numbers, but there have  been an increasing number of Indigos born especially after 1980.  But, there were a few Indigos born before that.  I actually identified with some of the characteristics.  

Something I didn't understand...the emphasis on choosing a Montessori or Waldorf school.  They say that Indigos have an aptitude for technologies and computers.  Why not foster that?  

I don't know if I believe it all, but it is interesting.  I'd forgotten all about that book until this diary.  I'll have to pick it up again and refresh my memory.  

What is an indigo Child?

As a summary, here are the ten attributes that best describe this new kind of child, the Indigo Child

~They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it)

~They have a feeling of "deserving to be here," and are surprised when others don't share that.
Self-worth is not a big issue. They often tell the parents "who they are."
They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without explanation or choice).

~They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is difficult for them.

~They get frustrated with systems that are ritually oriented and don't require creative thought.

~They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school, which makes them seem like "system busters" (nonconforming to any system).

~They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward, feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely difficult for them socially.

~They will not respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait till your father gets home and finds out what you did").

~They are not shy in letting you know what they need.

an Indgio Child!

They come into the world with a feeling of royalty.
They have difficulty with absolute authority.
They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward, feeling like no other human understands them.

Seriously, to a certain extent, every child comes into the world with a feeling of royalty (It's all about ME), has difficulty with authority (both my kids' first word was "NO"), and no body really enjoys being around folks they don't connect with. AND, isn't the teenage mantra "Nobody understands me"?

This 'movement' seems more like a way to assuage parental guilt and avoid their perceived unpleasantness of having a 'different' child. I worry about these kids and hope against hope they are getting support that will help them, not just make their parents feel better.

First of all I'm really skeptical of this.  Second the attributes of the Indigo Children, the feeling of royalty, difficulty with absolute authority etc. sound like the adults are willing to let the children grow up with a shocking sense of entitlement.

I will say that my nephew has a lot of the "Indigo" attributes.  He is brilliant and although isn't labeled with anything he has difficulty with his peers.  But his mother doesn't provide any structure or consistency with his behavior.  She either cannot or will not say no to this child and I can really see the concern with turning a child like this into a sociopath or someone with an inflated sense of superiority.  That doesn't seem very healthy to me.

movement sounds spiritual to me too.  and a created myth to explain all sorts of things.

however, i was struck by a U Tube video made by an autistic woman of herself.  i found it through some MT's blog, forgive me to whoever it was, can't remember now who.  in any event, there was something "sprititual" about this woman.  i can see how a parent of an autistic child could be led down this path.  following is the link to the video:

http://www.youtube.com/...

kos posted the following just now:

I was at the hospital all night with a sick wife (she'll be fine) and unhappy baby

Just a get well wish for Elisa, hope she's alright!

Are eccentric.  And most, if not all, exhibit most of the behaviors on the list above.  To me, this comes across as the child development version of astrology.  

Vaguely defined statements: check.
Promise of superiority / hidden reward: check.
Illusion of control and understanding: check.

People will believe what they want and need to believe, but this one concerns me because of the innate elitism and the implied classicism (this is assuming that most indigo children come from middle to upper class college educated families.)

I had many of these traits as a child.  Why?  Probably because I was an only child for many years in a home with four doting adults.  Thankfully, my parents did understand that some of these things weren't desirable traits...however, I think any child that is having an adult constantly at their beck and whim will develop these attitudes.  Geez...we used to just call it "spoiled".

I also remember reading several books on bullying a few years ago.  They found that the long held belief that bullies have low self-esteem is not necessarily true.  They may or may not, just like anyone.  But that was not the common thread.  What almost all bullies have in common were three traits.  I can only remember two, but they were lack of empathy and an exaggerated sense of entitlement.  

Of course, if some of these children are high-functioning autistics, they are far more likely to be the target of bullies.

Because I know that, as a Christian, my spiritual beliefs sound just as 'out there' to those who don't hold those beliefs as some of these beliefs sound to me.

And, I certainly understand the desire to attach a positive label to a child rather than a label perceived as negative. My children are healthy and "normal" and, do not stand out in any way that would be labeled as a negative, and believe me, I know how lucky and blessed I am.

I worry that people might use this idea as a reason to not place limits on their child. If you believe your child has been sent for a reason, perhaps to improve the world, will you hesitate to "stifle" their sense of importance? Isn't it a normal phase for babies/toddlers to believe that the world revolves around them, and isn't it also an important developmental stage to learn that this is not true? Or for the parents to minimize the negative impact on others around your child if your child is not capable of learning how to respect others' feelings?

If I may I'd like to relate an incident that occurred to us at the beach several years ago -- and please tell me if I was out of line. An older girl [probably 11 or so at the time] came over and knocked down the sandcastle that my 6 or 7 year old daughter was working on. It was clearly deliberate; she stood there and looked and it, and then kicked it. The adults with this child seemed to see her but did nothing. I said to the child "Why did you do that?" and she walked away. So, I went up to the adults and asked them if they knew what the girl did. Their response? "Oh, well, she's autistic."

I didn't say anything back but I was thinking -- so does that make it okay, or should they say something to her? What if she was hitting my child instead of knocking down her sandcastle right in front of her -- should I write that off because she is autistic?

It really made me mad, but maybe I was out of line in being upset? I try not to judge, because I don't know what it's like to have an autistic child, and what their challenges are.  I felt like a mama bear protecting my cub, but in reality I didn't do or say anything else.

but I read through the list of Indigo traits on Wiki, and it seems a bit moonbat to me.  As Kurt Vonnegut said, "Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."

I can appreciate a parent wanting to find meaning in a bad situation.  That said, assigning extreme Christ-like traits to a child, such as healing, seems delusional and very unhealthy.

You could list the symptoms for any type of disorder and many people will have them, without actually having said disorder.  Reading through the characteristics, I could be an Indigo, even though I prefer to describe myself as hell-on-wheels.    

too funny!

was kind of a sad one.  There's a girl in my son's class who is very smart, very whiny, and not very socially connected.  Her parents asked me to do some psychoeducational testing with her, which I agreed to because I needed subjects her age for a class project.

It was interesting spending time with her, and talking with her parents.  I told them her IQ was 125, and they were both a little deflated by that.  Theirs are both 150+ and they expected more.  In fact, they had a great deal invested in her genius.  Interestingly, they decided it was my results that were wrong, not their estimate :-)

I did feel like she needed some help socially.  She was one of those people who hadn't found her place, who didn't understand that there are groups and fluidity, and sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down.  I also felt like she had some feelings of threat that were interfering, and I recommended psychotherapy.  That went over really well :-)

I felt her parents did her a disservice by telling her every day after school, "It's okay that you don't fit in.  You're an Indigo Child.  You are better than the other kids, and they'll never understand how special you are."  They also validated her refrain that she's no good at math -- so she doesn't try.  They have convinced her that any time she's bored or confused or mystified or hurt, it's not necessarily something to work through.  Everything can be explained by her special status.  The rules don't apply to her.  In that way, her development has not been especially facilitated.

I will also say that often when I work with autistic children I find myself attributing characteristics to them, sometimes intellectual, sometimes spiritual, that have no basis in the child.  It can end up being about me; I think they sometimes present a blank slate, and I project all over it.  I can only imagine how tempting that must be for parents.

I've been meaning to re-read about the "Indigo Children," as yet again a total stranger told me that my daughter (now 2-1/2) is quite obviously an Indigo.  The first time was when she was about 2 weeks old -- and asleep -- but the woman walking by commented that she was "such an old soul."  Um, okay.  Perhaps it's just that newborn babies often look like wrinkled old men? grin

The value I see in a concept like Indigo is in recognizing that not all children learn and interact the same way as others.  But I'm horrified at the entitlement that some of the parents preach to their children!

Whether Maya is indigo, fuscia, chartreuse, or whatever-have-you, she deserves to hear straight answers and have more interaction with her parents than a stern, "because I said so."  But then again, all children deserve that.  They also deserve to have responsible adults set boundaries and teach them to become competent adults.

Found this little nugget on the indigo moms site:

From my counselling experience with Indigo children, I have found that almost 90% are raised by single mothers. Sometimes a separation took place in the first few years and sometimes the moms were single already in the pregnancy. The explanation seems to be in the fact that Indigos are very demanding, tap into our energy all the time, and need a lot of attention. Sometimes fathers feel like they cannot keep up with them (almost a sort of competition for attention), they become frustrated with the Indigo's behaviour, or they are in total disagreement with the mothers on how to raise an Indigo. Men often cannot understand the spiritual aspect of this issue and want to break the "spirit" of the child, so they will behave according to "norms". However, I have seen wonderful fathers live with Indigos as well -- they are open-minded and accepted the fact that their child is "different" and that their role as a father will not be the traditional one. When this happens, the harmony is radiant and apparent.

Huh?

I know very little about it, but from what I have read, this whole "phenomenon" just isn't sitting well with me.

Sorry, but this is nothing but parents who refuse to discipline their children.

Before I had kids, in fact way before I was even pregnant or thinking about being pregnant, a friend of mind had a "psychic" party. I know. Believe me, that was my reaction too. But we go to these things for our friends. Kind of like Tupperware, Mary Kay, Avon, etc. Anyway, this psychic (who was the weirdest person I've ever met) told me that I would have a child within a few years and that it would be a girl, and that she would be a "crystal child". She also spouted something about a journey of growth that I had to go on. Blah blah blah.

So a couple of years later, I had my little girl, and my friend bought me the Indigo Child book. I dutifully read it, figuring that it couldn't hurt. I didn't see anything all that bizarre in it at the time, but I remember thinking that it wasn't a very healthy way to raise a child. And if my child was indeed going to grow up to change the world, she deserved the most normal, loving environment that I could give her. So I put it out of my head and have ignored it since. She's very clever, very perceptive, and is often a royal pain in the backside. She's stubborn, argumentative, and opinionated. And she's only three. I can't wait for the teenage years. People constantly comment on how beautiful and intelligent she is (and I wish they wouldn't do it in front of her...I think it's a bit unhealthy!). But as far as I can tell, she's normal. No telekinesis for sweets at night. No psychic links with the dog. Nothing. Other friends that claim to have indigo children seem to just have very badly behaved kids, as far as I can tell!

So that's my "indigo" story. I'll let you know if she suddenly starts moving things with her mind. Unless you count badgering me until I get up and get it for her....

No personal story here, I am just blown away by this. I read lots of different kinds of "stuff" (shamans, astrology, psychic parties? what's the problem), and I am wracking my brain for any recollection of Indigo children. And some of us have professional experience with this and friends who bring you books about Indigo kids? There are indigo kids websites and blogs and such??

Wow. I feel very out of the loop. This is the most unusual thing I've learned about in a long time. I don't believe it's real (I mean, the cluster of behaviors is real, but I don't love the explanation), but still, totally fasinating.

RachelD

This indigo kid stuff reminds me of a book I've been meaning to read:

Quirk Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry -- it's written by Perri Klass, a woman pediatrician who is also a mother and a novelist. She's also affliliated with the Boston University School of Medicine Newsweek writes

Klass and Costello are part of a growing effort by experts and families to remove the social stigma from problems like "pervasive developmental disorder" (see sidebar) by de-emphasizing the technical diagnoses and focusing on each child's individual strengths and weaknesses. "People see a label and they just follow what's under the label, but that's not who the person is," says Kendra Bartig, program director of the Brush Ranch School for students with learning differences, outside Santa Fe, N.M. Mel Levine, a pediatrician and longtime opponent of diagnostic labels, agrees. "Let's identify what someone needs and help them, rather than branding them," he says. Levine, a widely respected expert on learning problems, says terms like attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) "are basically pessimistic.

It's not indigo but 'quirky' seems to be not to neglect the real needs of the kids

I don't doubt that there are children who possess the "Indigo Child" characteristics (minus the levitation, perhaps).

But I just want to throw out there that Jenny McCarthy probably had trouble with authority and rules of behavior, too. Her claim to fame is that she was a Playboy centerfold who got attention from being filmed sitting on a toilet, farting in an elevator, eating her own puke, and being outrageous on MTV.

I bring this up not for the purpose of saying that her kid isn't special or that she is full of b.s., but to engage in a little armchair psychology. If her kid's personality is as outrageous as hers is, I can see why she'd want to frame it as something positive, spiritual, otherworldly, and futuristic. No matter what kind of child she had, I'd guess that McCarthy would be averse to forcing her child to "fit in" or adapt to society's expectations.