Mother Talkers

The US: A tough place to be a kid

by pat of butter in a sea of grits

Tue Apr 10, 2007 at 03:01:57 PM PDT

UNICEF, the World Health Organization, and Harvard Medical School have all conducted studies recently that show that the US is one of the worst countries in which to grow up.

Of 21 wealthy nations surveyed, the U.S. ranked second to last. Only Britain was worse. Child well-being was highest in the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark and Finland, places that invest heavily in their children.

The problem isn't just that, compared with the European countries, the U.S. lacks day-care services and has poorer health and preventive-care coverage, which has left 9 million children without health insurance.

America finished dead last in terms of infant-mortality rates, vaccinations, the percentage of newborns with low birth weights and deaths from accidental injuries. We finished second to last when the researchers assessed a child's diet, physical activity and weight, exposure to violence and bullying and the number of 15-year-olds who smoke and drink and have sex.

American children often don't eat the main meal of the day with their parents. Children say they don't spend time "just talking" to their parents. And they generally don't find their peers "kind and helpful," according to the study.

If you've lived or travelled extensively in other countries, how do you compare the US's treatment and support of children and families with those in the other countries with which you are familiar?

I'm also interested in the conflict between the emphasis on supposed "family values" with the fact that we clearly don't value families through our public policy.

I wonder if living in a more homogenous country such as Sweden, etc. creates less of an "us-vs-them" mentality in terms of using public funds to support the needy.  Here in the US I think the poor are often demonized, and race or class are often the (stated or unstated) undercurrent there.

Tags: United States, children, international (all tags)

Permalink | 13 comments

  • I also wonder if we are still (0 / 0)

    suffering yet another after effect of puritan mentality...you know, the "spare the rod, spoil the child" type thinking.  This same mentality often fosters the idea that children should be "seen but not heard" and that "coddling" children leads to their growing up to be morally lax.

    by tjb22 on Tue Apr 10, 2007 at 02:40:08 PM PDT

  • what I'd really like (0 / 0)

    is really good maternity benefits.  Was it here that I read about the 14 month paid maternity leave you're required to take in the netherlands or one of those countries?  And there's another european country where the father is also required to take maternity leave.  Needless to say, their birth rates shot up after the implementation of these rules.  

    Of course, given the way global population is going, maybe that's not such a good thing for the US. :)  

    The problem w/ us is that we want the benefits but we don't want to pay for it.  So until the tax payers are willing to pay, they can't really complain.

    by smurfett on Tue Apr 10, 2007 at 03:20:36 PM PDT

    • But we COULD pay for them (0 / 0)

      if we spent less on defense and other corporate handouts.

      by tjb22 on Tue Apr 10, 2007 at 03:29:09 PM PDT

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    • no country (0 / 0)

      requires maternity/paternity leave, but a lot of countries in Europe provide maternity leave schemes that range from basic (but miles ahead of the US) to extremely generous (or, depending on your outlook, logical).

      by Rachel on Tue Apr 10, 2007 at 07:40:11 PM PDT

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    • You might mean Germany (0 / 0)

      I live in Germany and the deal is that a family gets financial support from the govt. for a few months longer if the father stays home for part of the time, too.
      Childrearing in Germany has a lot of downsides, like an entire system set up to keep moms at home. School is half-day and mom has to be home for lunch. Any sort of therapy, like speech therapy or occupational therapy, happens outside school and you have crazy waiting lists, the hassle of driving around, runaround with referrals... do that with more than one kid it can break your back. Then there are sports and music that aren't offered in school, more mommytaxi.
      On the upside, the german healthcare system is great, despite all its flaws. The runaround for occupational therapy drives me crazy (my son has asperger), but when his congenital heart defect was diagnosed he got fantastic treatment and everything was covered from start to finish. It's bad enough to face the thought of a four-year-old needing open-heart surgery, but having to worry about who's gonna pay for it is criminal.
      Getting back to the school system, Germany splits up the kids after fourth grade into three tracks with separate schools.  The schools are all state funded, so poorer areas get as much funding as wealthier areas. BUT the schools that aren't geared towards university-prep get less funding, teachers get paid less, etc. That stinks, I hate it as a teacher and a mother. Not a trace of equal opportuniy.

      by bluesheep on Wed Apr 11, 2007 at 01:18:52 AM PDT

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      • I'm in Germany, too (0 / 0)

        and have been for about 20 years. Both my kids (15 and 12) were born here and are going through the public school system.

        Great things about Germany: prenatal maternal care and all medical care for children (including medicines) are covered by insurance up to age 18. There's an extensive well-baby checkup system up til about school entry age.  Also, time spent taking care of children can be chalked up to your old-age pension at the rate of about 3 years per kid (a bit oversimplified for brevity).

        The bad thing is that as bluesheep said, both the school system and corporations' attitudes make it extremely difficult for women to combine children and working. The brunt of the planning is on women, and we'll also be the ones suffering the disadvantages of smaller pensions in the future.

        The government is trying to motivate people to have more children, but in a ham-fisted, totally over-regulated (IMO) way. I think there are bits and pieces from various countries' systems that all have merit, but no one European country has all the answers in dealing with families.

        Furthermore, Germany didn't stack up so well in that UN study, either. Family life is deteriorating here, too, and children also feel that their parents don't spend much time talking with them. Mobbing and violence in the schools -- and not just ones in poorer neighborhoods! -- has gone way up in recent years.

        Here are a couple of recent articles about the benefit situation in Germany.
        Germany to Triple Childcare
        New German Benefits

        by Debbie on Wed Apr 11, 2007 at 04:44:13 AM PDT

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  • Interesting study (0 / 0)

    Of course, it's one of these huge reports that will take a long time to go through, but there are some interesting pieces to it.

    One thing that struck me was whether the differences cited were either statistically or socially significant.  For example, in immunization, the difference between Hungary (#1) and the US (#13) was about 5 percentage points.  I'd say anything above 90% immunization rates is pretty good.

    Another thing that struck me was whether the measures were valid.  In "child report of family affluence", they asked 15 year olds whether they had their own bedroom, if their family owned a car, and if their family went away on vacation.  Each of these could have a variety of influences (preference, culture) and it's not clear to me that sharing a bedroom is a negative impact on a child.

    On the other hand - the chart on death by injury or accident under 19 years old is SCARY!  The US is over 20 per 100,000 kids - compared to Sweden at 6-7.

    The "Educational Wellbeing" section is also very dramatic - US is pretty bad in educational achievement and keeping kids in school.

    by Sue in Queens on Tue Apr 10, 2007 at 05:44:04 PM PDT

    • Sharing a room (0 / 0)

      My cousin built a McMansion with plenty of bedrooms and her two sons who had previously shared a room decided to keep doing it after they moved in because they were lonely apart.  My two are also sharing a room although we technically have enough bedrooms.  My house has 2 upstairs and 2 downstairs and I wanted my babies to be on  the same floor as me at night.

      by music teacher on Wed Apr 11, 2007 at 01:10:52 PM PDT

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  • confirms my worst fears (0 / 0)

    the US is progressiving faster towards an underdeveloped economy. All these characteristics are those that distinguish developing and underdeveloped economies.

    I think that some European countries have cultures and social norms that emphasize the good of the group over the individual. In the US we believe in the myth that anyone can get ahead bypulling one's self up by the bootstraps and that it is the more 'honorable' way of getting ahead. That may have been true until the mid-20th century. Now, it seems much easier to fall behind....

    by brave on Tue Apr 10, 2007 at 06:08:48 PM PDT

  • International Experience right here (0 / 0)

    I gave birth in London and lived there for Jess's first eight months. I used the NHS (public health) through delivery, and while it was basic, it was there. Maternity leave - the UK has a policy where for the first six months, mothers get a stipend of about £100/week, with the option of taking the next six months unpaid. It was enough to pay for our basic food bills and we had DH's salary and my freelancing as well. The UK has good policies in place whereby employers must consider flexitime work arrangements for parents, and had I stayed and not moved to Australia, my company would not have been averse to a flexible arrangement.

    Scandinavia has a tremendous maternity/paternity leave system. I know Norway best because of family there; maternity leave is paid for one year at 80% of salary, I believe, and fathers can request a six month paternity leave at the same rate. Thereafter, there's unpaid leave. However, both parents cannot be on leave at the same time. So, in theory, one parent or the other can be home on full parental leave for the child's first 18 months. There is also highly subsidized child care as well.

    I don't think it's a coincidence that because of these policies, a.) there are very high rates of breastfeeding up through the first full year in Norway; b.) women return to the workforce after having a baby; c.) there's a much more egalitarian sense of child-raising, less of a work/family pull, and Norway has much higher percentages of women executives, leaders and politicians. Just my two cents.

    by Rachel on Tue Apr 10, 2007 at 07:46:31 PM PDT

    • Sounds dreamy! (0 / 0)

      Even the basic system that you describe from London sounds great. I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my second, so the issue of maternity leave has become prominent in our household again. I teach in a public high school and my contract reads that I get 6 weeks maternity leave. That's nice, but it goes on to state that I am allowed to use my sick leave to pay for the leave. Wow! Thanks. I'm also allowed to use my sick leave when I'm sick. When my sick days run out - which they will this time well before my 6 weeks - I will be paid at a differentiated rate, which means that I get whatever the difference is between my salary and the substitute's. A lot of folks have commented to me that my timing is great because I'll take the rest of the school year off and then have summer break. But, for me, that's not good enough - the new baby will only be about 3 months old by the time the new school year starts. So I requested to take 3 months of parental leave off at the beginning of the school year so that I can stay home with the newbie for 6 months like I did with my first. Parental leave is unpaid leave and, luckily, dh and I have the means to pull it off. However, because I'm a teacher and I am requesting more than 30 consecutive days off, I need a credentialed replacement, not just anyone off the sub list. What happens if the principal and I can't find a sub... well, I'm hoping not to deal with that issue.

      The Norway plan sounds amazing - I know dh would love to spend time at home with the kids too. But even six months in London sounds decent. And, even though, I'm frustrated with my own situation, I have a feeling that it is not as bad a situation as some other mothers in the US have. Despite how uncivilized not getting six months off feels, my two month paid summer break is probably better than many.

      Jessica

      by jwill on Wed Apr 11, 2007 at 04:04:30 AM PDT

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      • I agree with you (0 / 0)

        that London was great - even if it doesn't compare to other levels in continental Europe. I can't believe how much of a financial toll it is in America to take time off and care for an infant!

        by Rachel on Wed Apr 11, 2007 at 04:07:04 PM PDT

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  • Sweden was the first country (0 / 0)

    to completely ban the corporal punishment of children at school and at home.

    Sadly, I live in one of 23 states (Indiana) where schoolchildren can be paddled by a teacher or principal.

    by Dar Nirron on Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 03:43:03 AM PDT

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