I truly believe that there is a forward-marching social progress that happens (is this what they call the moral zeitgeist?  I'm a science geek, not a philosopher, so I may be mis-using that term).  Someday hopefully not too far in the future, homophobics will be seen as backward and immoral as racists and sexists are today - not that those battles are won, but there definitely has been a change in the prevailing morality about it.  I think this will continue - you can't stop progress.

I did change my name when I got married - mostly because I wanted our family to all share a name and I wasn't that attached to mine (my Mom is gone and I have issues with my Dad), and it was just easier, I guess.  Even for me it was a pain in the ass - liscense, credit cards, banks, utilities, the list goes on, so I can appreciate how much harder it would be to change everything when your motivation or right to do it would be questioned.  Hopefully more states will make this easier for EVERYONE to do.

Cool! Equity in partnership, starting with names-what a concept!

1st marriage, 1977-hyphenated last name. Pain in the ass, lots of hostility from the DMV, Social security, etc. 5 years later, had to go to court after divorce to drop 1/2 of name. Additional pain in ass.

Fast forward to 2d marriage in 1989. Do NOTHING. No one notices, or seems to care. Now known professionally by 'maiden' name as well as by almost everybody socially. Husband doesn't care-not the custom in his country to assume husband's name. NO pain the the ass! Kids have husband's name, my name as middle name. Papers for kid's school, etc lists everyone's name, nobody's confused, no problem.

How nice that at least in California, there will be a choice for EVERYONE. And that it's becoming a non-issue, unless you want it to be.

For a lot of reasons -- culturally, neither my family nor DH's would have understood if I had not changed my name. They are just of that generation [born depression-era or before] that did not see that in their communities. My maiden name was not easy nor did I particularly like it. And, to me, it was a choice between my dad's name or my husband's name. Hands down, no choice which one I loved the most. I was moving to another town when we married, so professionally I was starting over anyway -- my name would not have helped me in a new community.

And it seemed like everything in life would be easier if I changed my name. No confusion anywhere about what the relationships were in my family.

I did know a couple who married and both changed their last names -- they hyphenated their names. But that would have been too big a mouthful for me considering the names DH and I had.

I think it's great that women have a choice and it's rarely questioned now. For me it's really a matter of personal preference....but I do remember a commentary in Glamour magazine about 16 years ago where the writer said women who changed their names when they married were insane!

I took my husband's name without giving it much thought.  If I had it to do over, however, I would have hyphenated.  That said, I still have never changed my social security card.  Its rarely been a problem...one year, when we filed our income tax returns it was kicked back because my signature did not match my social security number...since then, we've just always done our taxes using my maiden name.

Last year, I had to renew my driver's liscence.  I was told that our state is changing over its system and that now, it will not allow for a different married name being used for the state ID than what is listed on a social security card.  I'm going to have to change it as I need a passport this year as well.  I told them at the BMV that they are likely to experience many problems as I know many women my age and older who routinely go back and forth between using married and maiden names for a variety of reasons.  Guess now we are going to be forced to choose one or the other.  No more leeway.

I kept my last name, which happens to be my mother's last name (grandfather's I suppose...)  It felt weird for me to change my name - as if I was losing a part of myself.

My only regret is that we didn't hyphenate our daughter's name.  Who knows, maybe we'll change it so she has my last name as well.  Such a pain in the butt to do though!

I took my husband's name because his was WAY easier than mine. And not as given to primary school teasing. But professionally, I use both, with my maiden name as my middle name. I had to keep some continuity, since I had papers published under my maiden name before I was married...too difficult to track a professional career when the name changes all the time!

It's a great thing to make it easier for everyone who wants to.

I changed mine on marriage - no hassle about changing passports and other stuff. His name is already hyphenated so couldn't add another name plus it's easier than mine! We wanted all the family to have the same 'family' name. I know others are different and it's good they have that choice. I didn't feel it was giving up my identity - if anything felt it added to it!

I kept my maiden name as a middle name and took DH's last name. DH took my maiden name as a middle name too. Not expensive-- just the $45 court cost-- but it was a pain with paperwork and all. Biggest pain was having to explain why we were doing it to every clerk, every family member, etc. At one point his friends were giving him a hard time and he pointed out that one friend "changed his God for his wife" (switched religions) and that changing a name pales in comparison to that! Anyway, the female judge (remember that we are in KY) pointed out that changing a name doesn't get you out of legal trouble, debt, etc. When DH said that he recently married she said, "Oh, this is one of those modern marriage agreements."  

Because it was higher in the alphabet than my maiden name, and I was sick of being at the end of the line all the time. :)

but now wish I had kept it somehow.  My maiden name was somewhat common and had several variations on how to spell it.  I felt like that was a pain.  But my married name is so uncommon, that no one knows how to pronounce it far less spell it.  I like the idea of keeping your maiden name... and making your middle name your maiden name like progressiveinky did.  Maybe I'll do that some day, since I'm not "married" to my middle name.

I think it's great that the whole process will be easier for everyone to make the change whether they want to or not.  I'm hoping all of this becomes a non-issue someday.

last name.  Still, I kept it when I married.  It was almost exclusively for aesthetic reasons.  My husband's last name is awful.  The irony is that my father, with whom my relationship is so distant as to not even really fall into the "issues" category, was probably adopted.  We don't know for sure, because it only came up after his parents died (long story).  So this last name of mine has virtually no meaning to me, except it's less hard on the ears than my husband's.

I do remember having middle school fantasies of the last names I would want to marry into (it never occurred to me to change my own just because I liked it better).  But I never fell in love with the people with those names.

I chose to hyphenate my name - I was published under my maiden name, so professionally I had to stick with it, but I wanted a connection to my husband. Unfortunately, both my maiden name and DH's name are difficult to pronounce, so now I make everyone doubly confused. (My old boss never did figure it out.) We decided not to saddle DD with the hyphenated version when she was born - that would be too much for a little one to deal with.

argues that women are the 'primary and natural' parent and should be 'credited as such'. In her most recent column she had this to say to a  woman who gave her daughter her last name:

Tell them you’re in the vanguard of a social revolution that someday will better the lives of all women. Men have long had the psychological advantage of unbroken identities. By contrast, women usually change their surnames when they get married. This practice deals a subtle—yet tremendous— blow to their sense of self. And even when women do keep their names, they seldom pass them on to their daughters. So the female heritage disappears.

When enough women keep their surnames throughout life and pass them on to their daughters for life, we will witness an improvement in the stature and independence of women the likes of which has not been seen since women got the vote.

I find her take on this interesting. A post modern approach to a matrinlineal socitey?

I kept my last name and our children are hyphenates, although my daughter often wonders why Daddy doesn't have 'our' last name. She must think I'm a hyphenate, too, or is just totally confused!

as fast as I could when I married Dh.  The way i saw/see it, the last name I had was either my father's (who is a dick) or my husbands.  Seeing as how I CHOSE the husband, I took the name, too.

And good for the GLBT community for getting the name changes to be easier.  God only knows it's about time.

By the time I was getting married (late 20's), it was my name, darn it. Yes, I got it through my father, who wasn't married to my mother anymore, but was (and is) a significant part of my life. Besides, my name is shorter, easier to pronounce correctly, and higher in the alphabet than DH's. And was already in use professionally.

Hyphenation would not have worked. DH's last name is 4 syllables to my one, and no combination we could come up with (including combining parts of each to create a new name) appealed to either of us at all.

DS has my name for a middle (it's one that works as a male first name as well), and DH's for last. Whether we would repeat that for a second child is kind of up in the air... and probably more likely for a boy than a girl, but that's just my thoughts (haven't brought it up with DH yet).

DH completely supported my decision. My mom usually sent me things with DH's last name (understandably, I guess). The in-laws were okay with it, as long as DH left his name alone (whatever).

That said, I'm all for making it easier for people to change their names in marriage or marriage-like situations. It should be equally easy or hard for a man to change his name as it is a woman, and it shouldn't matter what the actual social contract is.

Oh, one more thing. I am the only one in my generation with my last name. If I changed it, my father would be the last. I forgot, but I might use my mother's maiden name for a middle for a daughter -- my uncles had no children, and my mom and aunts all changed their names.

b/ my maiden name started with a Y and I was sick of being last all the time! LOL.  Now that I've been divorced nearly 3 years I have a different situatino. I've kept my married name b/c I built a very public career on it and b/c it's the same name as my daughter and at least while she's young I'd like to keep things simple for her at school.  This is a northern New England Catholic School so you can imagine that mom's wiith their maiden names is NOT the norm LOL.  

But if NH passes its civil unions bill, which it seems poised to -- and if I ever do join with Kelly some day I will have to figure out what I want to be called.  I confess I like the way my current name sounds but out of respect for Kelly of course I would change it -- she doesn't need to have my ex husbands name hang around her neck and she's quite adamant about her feelings on that subject.  hoo boy. I think I'll just change my WHOLE name entirely and be reborn as something like Lillian Lasalle...;-)

although some days I regret it, as it's really kind of a lousy name.  I was teased about it a bazillion times as a kid and even now I still get some teasing.

Our kids have my husband's name since I didn't want to inflict mine on them.

Both men and women can change their names -- to anything they want -- upon a marriage. They can also change their names back to any of their prior names upon a divorce, without going through any extraneous hoops (other than the line at the DMV and all that).

Unfortunately, WI just banned same-sex marriage and civil unions in its constitution, so it may be awhile before our committed friends in same-sex partnerships can enjoy the quick name change.

As for me, I changed my name when I married (simply because I was 'supposed' to), changed it back when I divorced, and will not be changing it for #2. The likely future #2 knows this and is OK with it. My maiden/current name is longer and harder to spell and pronounce than his (mine: 10 letters, 3 syllables; his: four letters, one syllable) but it's mine, and I feel I made a mistake when I changed it the first time around.

I'm Taiwanese and in my grandparents generation the woman tacked on the man's last name.  But that did not happen in my mom's generation at all.  (Since most Chinese names are three letters it does kind of sound weird to have four letter names to begin with)  

Anyways I was always kind of surprised by this.  It's such a traditional society when it comes to men/women roles, still.  But when it comes to names, it hasn't been for at least 30-40 years!

I forgot to add, my dilemma is actually what last name to give the child!  I'm opposed to making new last names.  Last names are important to me because it shows where you came from.  If I give my child a new last name then they can't trace their family roots!  But which one should they get?  The father or the mothers?