He used to be pretty loosey goosey but now when I ask "What are you going to do with Eli today?" on his full days at home, he has an answer.  It really makes the day much better to have a plan!

about scheduling.  I know Jo has her detractors, but I'm one not to make broad sweeping statements about a philosophy.  
I have to ask... do you have a "naughty stew-el"??? ;-)

I'm a new convert about having a schedule, "even" for us SAHMs. I started writing down a daily wish list of stuff to do last week - made a huge difference. Keeping the list in my head just didn't work that well, but I thought it did.

I always watch Supernanny if I happen across an episode. Looking forward to tomorrow's comments!

I love how new comments pop up in the bottom right had corner after they are posted... how cool!!!!!!!!!!!

I love those. Love supporting them, anyway, since I'm way too far away from those that happen, and I've weaned anyway! ;-)

If she says it's bad for the baby, or if that type of lifestyle is unacceptable, then I think a nurse in is in order.  :-)  I'll be there in spirit with you if that's the way it turns out.  

I'm not a regular watcher of the show either.  Of the shows I have seen I can usually take away a helpful hint or two.  On the whole, it's not my thing though.  Just a different approach to parenting.

someone else in the family called?  Maybe the husband?  When my kids were that young I didn't have much of a schedule either.  It was a lot like how you describe yours in fact.

is that IME kids react differently to a stranger than their parents. So if a new person comes in and sets up rules etc, the kids will do it more easily for the new person than mom and dad, often. I've used  the example before where my daughter's kindergarten teacher had her coughing in her elbow on day 2.

Secondly, stay at home parents are with their child 24/7 with no real break. I am very consistent when working with my dog or my horses. That's because when I work with them they have my undivided attention... and when I am done I walk away and leave them outside. There's no trying to lead the horse while I'm also trying to finish my tax return.

Obviously if SuperNanny and the TV cameras are there, working with the kid is at the top of the priority list, and things will get better for that reason alone.

So my gripe is that I feel these shows, while useful, make the parents look worse than is really the truth, and make the change look easier than it really is.

Nice to read your thoughts all in one place, though.

<font size=1>Disclaimer: My dd will be 7mos this Sunday, but I've been doing a lot of reading, and have some fairly strong opinions.. I know there's always the chance that I'll eat my words once Audrey is older, but I'm pretty sure I'll stick to my current beliefs on most things.</font>

I do agree that the family had no clue on a lot of things, and instead of looking for answers.. they went on tv.  The weaning thing bothered me too, because Jo didn't mention any benefits of continuing breastfeeding, but really did seem to push the mom towards ending that relationship.  The way they weaned seemed so harsh. :(  The baby sounded so sad, and it really made me feel awful!  One mom on our local board is already talking about a nurse-in.  I sure hope we pick a warm day!

The CIO thing bothered me too.  I was at least relieved that she made sure they listened to make sure the baby wasn't becoming more distressed, but I don't agree with CIO, or the way they transitioned to sleeping alone.

My DH watched it with me, and while he agrees with me about what I said above, what really bothered him was how the oldest son walked all over the mom, while the dad did NOTHING about it.  The dad needs to step up and be a good role model!  It's great that they were able to get Dwayne Wayde to step in and teach the son to respect his parents, but regular families can't exactly pull out the all-star card whenever they need to.  Dad needs to act like a man and teach his son to respect his mom.  Dad also needs to act like a dad and take some responsibility.  It seemed like 99% of the show was about mom's failings, while dad barely got any mention.

I don't think I'll be watching that show again!  Heroes can't come back on soon enough.

is that the closeness now will help your child be more independent later, when they're ready.  AP parents don't push their kids to be independent, they let the kids decide when.  I'm obviously nowhere near that point but to me it means support, support, support.  The goal is a child that isn't afraid of the world, because they know they have you, just not attached at the hip anymore.

I think it's probably give and take by the time that the mom and daughter were at.  Being close and caring, yet still recognizing that her daughter wanted to do other things.  

One thing, and it may not seem related at first, is that I really think the lack of sleep was hindering the daughter's ability to tell her mom she was ready for more space.  My daughter nursed non-stop for the first 4 months of her life.  I'm not exaggerating.  She was sleeping in a bassinet next to our bed, but she slept horribly.  She cat napped during the day on my lap, nursing the entire time.  She wanted to nurse constantly while awake.  She never slept well, during the day or during the night.  I think I only left the apartment to go to her well checks.  At night, she nursed to sleep, and I would get no more than 45mins of sleep before she woke up, frantic.  It took at least an hour to get her to sleep.  Once we started cosleeping (I realize it is not for everyone), things got a lot better.  We both began sleeping better at night, she was able to nurse to sleep and stay asleep for a while, I was able to latch her on and fall asleep, and.. during the day she began to have actual naps, spaced out.  She was less clingy, and she nursed less often!  

I don't believe it's a stretch to say that the daughter was literally too exhausted to be as independent as she wanted, so she clung to mommy for comfort whenever possible.  If she had been getting enough sleep she might not have wanted to nurse all day long, and maybe the mom wouldn't have wanted to wean her because she wouldn't have been a pacifier all day long.

have said it better myself.  My son, who was a clingy, high need, baby, is now a confident, independent, and very bright 6 (almost 7) year old.  He also spent his first year clinging to me, but gradually found his wings and at his own pace, found his independence.  He's a lot more confident and independent than I was at his age.  So, for some families, I think AP can work and it does foster independence in the end.

But my daughter has become quite independent at 6, and I'm pleased as punch about it. We had clingy moments along the way, but this year she's taking the bus herself and is definitely far more adventurous.

Some of that is probably related to my preferences. Even though I used a lot of AP practices, I used them because I found them practical, and honestly though I took her everywhere with me, that was as much because of my need to be independent and able to do things as it was to meet her needs. I remember DH being a little disgruntled early on because she would cry incessantly if I left her but not if he did. Then around 9 months it switched, and DH was All That. And he learned how much it sucked that he couldn't go anywhere without her without her becoming inconsolable.

So from the beginning, I've looked forward to her becoming an independent, separate person. It's really neat that she's away at school all day and has a set of experiences wholly different from mine - gives us something to talk about.

the show is meant to inform and help people parent better, then I think Jo could have suggested ways the mom could wean gradually or at least have talked about it.  I know she couldn't have shown this in the 50 minute show but an explanation would have sufficed.  Weaning gradually is usually the way that mothers try to do it, unless the baby initiates an abrupt weaning.  A gradual weaning is usually easier on both the mom and the baby.

I'm not calling for the nurse in ;-)!  I just think that's what's going to end up happening.  If Supernanny is meant to be an educational show where parents learn techniques for better parenting, then I think the APers are going to be pissed about the way extended breastfeeding has been portrayed.  

And BTW, I'm also equally grumpy today and still haven't recovered from this damn time change!

Regarding the daycare, I was wondering if she was going to have her license revoked by the state after that aired.  I got the impression that the whoopins were only administered to her own children after the daycare day was over but then again I think I would have a hard time sending my kids to someone who needed to go on Supernanny period LOL.

I agree that the NBA player part was lame.  However, I work with kids around that age in an afterschool program in an inner city area and I kind of believe that it would take something kind of dramatic like that for a quick change with some of the attitudes I see.  There needs to be a better way to teach about respect at that age and I don't think that was it.  In my experience, it takes a lot of modeling over the long term and expecting and promoting better attitudes. Maybe the NBA player was a quick way to teach the lesson in the time slot given by the show.

On the nap front, when my oldest son learned to go to bed by himself the first time (post above)it played out exactly like that so I didn 't have trouble believing that.

I used to work for the agency that regulates child care centers in Texas. I found that very often, when the state tried to shut down someone's in-home daycare because of corporal punishment in violation of state regs, the parents rallied around the caregiver. As odd as it may seem to me, lots of parents [at least 15 years ago, in small-town Texas] think it's okay for their child's caregiver to spank.

like you are doing great!  You are doing it in steps.  She's in a pack-and-play in your room.  Next step will be moving the pack-and-play to another room.  Then, into her own big girl bed that you and she will pick out together.  Some people try getting a mattress first and putting it on the floor so there's no worry of the child falling out of a bed.  We did that w/both kids to get them in their own rooms when the time came.  When they woke up in the middle of the night, I got them back to sleep in their own beds and then went back to mine.  It will happen when you and she are ready :-).

And, I agree that something was amiss in the way that baby was parented.  Like I said... I know lots of kids who were carried in a sling, co-slept and breastfed at that age and they didn't have developmental problems.