Mother Talkers

Where to Begin? or end for that Matter.

by karen m

Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 01:07:52 PM PDT

Yesterday my daughter passed her driving license test.  I am excited and happy for her.  Many of her friends failed the first time so she was a little nervous as we drove over to the DMV in the torrential downpour.  I kept my feelings to myself as I maneuvered the car to the DMV thinking jeezus, why couldn't it be clear and dry?  I was totally jittery for her as she sat waiting for her turn to take our car for the test drive.  As I watched the DMV tester ask questions and get her to operate components of the car before they left for the driving test, my heart was pounding and I felt woozy.  I called my dh who launched into unrelated conversation and I was so nervous I wanted to hang up on him.

Alongside this sweet milestone, is another, albeit much more significant one, and that is Treigh's victory over bone cancer.  After 12 months of chemo beginning last January and ending recently, followed by a 9 hour surgery the first week of February, she is now cancer free.  I returned from San Diego a couple of days ago.  Treigh was able to come home for good last week!  No more LA apartment for Cedars Sinai appointments, no more chemo, no more operations....just sweet (and challenging) recovery and getting her well-being and life back.  Amazing.  Thank you all for cheering her on through this wonderful site -- all the good energy has helped enormously along the way.

It's hard to capture feelings and thoughts as I swing between tears of joy, relief and sadness.  I can't fully grasp nor describe what I have witnessed Treigh experience along with each of our close family members, all on their own journeys with regard to Treigh, our support for her and love for her.  

Though we did not have cancer, at times we felt as if we did.  I remember this same phenomenon when my mother and father had cancer and my brothers and I battled our way through their illnesses alongside them.   What a toll it takes on everyone involved, especially family.

I have thought a lot about what it means to have a serious illness and how that plays into a family's life.  The need for economic support, emotional support, physical support.  In fact, without the support Treigh received I imagine she would be in a different set of circumstances today.  It boggles my mind that there are countless members of our society who have no family, no economic means, no health care, virtually no support.  It is inconceivable and imo, feels criminal in this day and age in the United States of America.  How is this happening in this country?  

I watched a portion of a news special on TV just yesterday regarding soldiers returning from the Iraq war who are not getting follow up medical care they deserve.  I want to SCREAM about this.  Of ALL the people who deserve good, reliable, state of the art care, who more than the young men and women fighting in that f** war? Or any veteran for that matter.  Jeezus.  I will take pen in hand to write a letter to our representatives about that and send it along with the one I'll write about tougher laws for sexual offenders against children.  Sexual crimes against children are inexcusable and should carry serious sentences without loopholes for bargaining.  

I called KGO today as I listened to Ronn Owens interviewing one of the founders of commonsense media.  I wanted to applaud the effort that this organization has made to inform parents about the content of media that is foisted off on us and especially our children.  A headsup to all that commonsense media is a wonderful site to access for information regarding programming and content.  I forget how to insert the site here...but goggling it should bring it up easily.  Maybe this will work  http://www.commonsensemedia.org/.  

I sure wish Al Gore would run for President.   You can see that my mind is like a running faucet.  I feel like a super ball bouncing off the walls, my thoughts just richocheting wildly.  I guess it's part of the way my life has been for the past 14 months, half in my life and half in the life of helping and loving Treigh and her family.  I have felt scattered a lot lately.  

Sorry for the ramble and the randomness...but...by the way,

How can we get Mr. Gore to run?

   

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  • welcome back karen... (0 / 0)

    in every sense, both here on mothertalkers and  back to a family life with well earned enjoyment and relaxation.  i was overwhelmed with joy to hear of treigh's success.  a victory for sure for her and your entire family.  it must be wonderful to look back on all this hard work and love and see this beautiful result.

    so welcome back again...and if it ever stops raining...let's go for a nice long walk :)

    by parentalunit1 on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 01:19:14 PM PDT

    • my smile is wide (0 / 0)

      reading your words, melinda, thank you.

      as i mentioned to elisa, it is a challenge emotionally to take in so much joy and relief, but you can bet we'll keep trying! :>)  what a journey it has been.  i think treigh will try to capture it in a book at some point...we'll see.

      dh has left to go to San Diego to continue our support of Treigh's recovery from surgery.  She is stronger every day.  amongst all the challenge, we have received such a gift in the depth of our relationships with treigh and family.  it's ironic that in the midst of illness, there is such a treasure of connection through need and support.  lovely really if one can hold onto that rather than getting swallowed by the obvious negative fallout that happens at the same time.

      over the moon is the phrase that i keep coming back to which seems to sum up how i am feeling.

      karen

      by karen m on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 01:26:12 PM PDT

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  • So nice to see you again! (0 / 0)

    Wonderful family news! I am thrilled for both your daughter and DIL. Of course, I know you may not always be "thrilled" about the daughter driving now :->

    You've had so much going on that it is no wonder you are brimming with thoughts. It must have felt as if you were putting everything on hold while you supported Treigh - even your reactions to world events. So now it all needs to spill out randomly. That's cool. We can handle it.

    Hugs to you and welcome back.

    Trees, Flowers & Birds SanDiegoDem on all other blogs!

    by Christina on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 01:50:56 PM PDT

  • Hi! (0 / 0)

    Hi Karen,

    Nice to hear from you!  I read Treigh's update on her blog, wow, sounds like she went through a lot and yet, at the end a great result.  Cancer free, nothing better than hearing those two words.

    I agree with you on Al Gore...I'm so not excited about Barack or Hillary and I think he would clean up.  I imagine though, that he must still be shellshocked from 2000 and maybe he just can't do it again.

    by NJmom on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 03:00:15 PM PDT

  • Great family news! (0 / 0)

    Great news for your family! Best wishes all around!

    And Common Sense Media is the best! I struggled for a while to find a website that would give me the info I wanted about movies without being a fundamentalist Christian website that thought Harry Potter was evil. This site is especially helpful when I think back to some movies I watched as a teen or young adult and think "my kids would like that" but I have conveniently forgotten one really violent scene, or some very adult language.

    by Lisa in Austin on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 03:14:37 PM PDT

  • So inspiring! (0 / 0)

    Here are more props for a strong momma who manages not to check out of the world. I see how Treigh's miraculous recovery has given you more strength and resolve to help others. Good for you.

    (And yes, I am with you: I love, love, love Al Gore! If he were to run, I would vote for him above the others.)

    by Elisa on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 03:25:14 PM PDT

    • YES. I marvel (0 / 0)

      at his ability to be so relaxed but focused now.  He is seemingly so different in front of the camera these days --- his connection to his beliefs, his concern for the welfare of our earth and all its inhabitants, his intelligence, and humor, the whole enchilada shines through these days!  How I wish he would have come through like that a few years ago.  He appears to be unflappable now and so engaging.  LOVE HIM.

      RUN MR. GORE RUN !  I will happily vote for you AGAIN.

      karen

      by karen m on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 03:33:09 PM PDT

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      • If Al Gore was President... (0 / 0)

        Check out this hilarious video of Al Gore:

        IF AL GORE WAS PRESIDENT

        by gloria on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 08:00:39 PM PDT

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        • thanks gloria (0 / 0)

          that was really great!  gore has found his groove...if he could keep this going and run it would be wonderful!

          by parentalunit1 on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 08:22:44 PM PDT

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        • i just watched this... (0 / 0)

          thanks for the link.  we can wish and hope, right?

          karen

          by karen m on Wed Feb 28, 2007 at 08:21:52 AM PDT

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        • LOL! (0 / 0)

          He is so funny. Although I admit that back in 2000 when I voted for him -- even in the primary -- I didn't care that people thought he was stiff and boring. You don't know how many people I ran into that were like, "Gore is so boring. I woudl have a beer with Bush."

          My thing was I WANTED my president to be SMART. Who cares if he's stiff and policy wonkish. I wouldn't feel safe with the person who could funnel the most alcohol at a frat party. Sorry.

          by Elisa on Wed Feb 28, 2007 at 09:17:33 AM PDT

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          • I totally agree with you (0 / 0)

            and I so wish and long for the VAST majority of the people in this country to figure that out...jeezus.  i heard Bush speak the other night and  as i hear his voice, my head just starts to shake with disbelief at what comes out of his mouth.  he often doesn't make sense or even seem to be clued in to reality.  how can he be and have been president -- for TWO terms?   arrrrggghhghghghghhghg---inconceivable.

            karen

            by karen m on Wed Feb 28, 2007 at 09:50:34 AM PDT

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          • i STILL hear that ! (0 / 0)

            people say well you know i like bush..he's a regular guy.  please someone explain to me how this happened.  when did we want a "regular guy"to be our president?  what happened to wanting a smart guy who could think and handle this incredibly hard job?  i just don't get it...i really really don't.

            by parentalunit1 on Wed Feb 28, 2007 at 06:59:10 PM PDT

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      • still hope he doesn't (0 / 0)

        for exactly the reasons you list, Karen. He seems so much happier, natural and comfortable with the man he is now, and the work he's doing now. Can we just sit back and hope for a moment: imagine Inauguration Day 2009 - a Democratic President (my hope, John Edwards, but I willingly and lovingly support whomever takes the ticket), with the biggest and most powerfully humanitarian, humane back bench of former Dem elected officials backing the president up on the international stage - Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Al Gore. Am I the only one getting the shivers thinking about the powerful good we could accomplish with that?!?!?

        by Rachel on Thu Mar 01, 2007 at 04:04:39 AM PDT

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  • What super news! (0 / 0)

    I am so happy for you and your family.  And, way to go for your daughter.  Now, she can drive you to that day at the spa you deserve!

    Margaret
    therebyhangsatale.com

    by mefpdx on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 03:47:38 PM PDT

  • Hooray! (0 / 0)

    Good for all of you, Karen m. Enjoy enjoy!

    by tarantula on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 04:07:54 PM PDT

  • so happy for you, Karen (0 / 0)

    I could not contimplate a scenario where Treigh wouldn't come out totally cancer free, but the sense of relief in reading your words was still palpable. What a gift for Treigh, your son, her children and the whole fam damily. And your daughter getting her license, too! I think we really only grasp how swiftly time passes once we have children; I had to blink today in the pool with Jess to see this bouncing toddler and remember the infant I cradled on one arm. Too sweet, too bitter that it goes so quickly!

    Very big hugs to you and yours.

    by Rachel on Tue Feb 27, 2007 at 06:03:08 PM PDT

  • Relief! (0 / 0)

    Oh Karen... you all must be so relieved.  Cancer free... that is just excellent news!

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

    by 1plain1peanut on Wed Feb 28, 2007 at 05:47:13 AM PDT

  • Horay for your family! (0 / 0)

    You are a wise, compassionate woman who deserves the best.

    by Erin on Wed Feb 28, 2007 at 09:03:59 PM PDT

    • thank you Erin...what a (0 / 0)

      kind thing to write.

      I am feeling really filled with JOY for Treigh and her family along with us too -- what a year and more it has been.  Still lots on Treigh's plate to integrate into her life and emotions, but all in all, the outcome has been extraordinarily fantastic.  Dh is down in San Diego and got to play with the girls today -- we've had such fun becoming so close with them and getting the amazing gift of lots of time with them.  Little children are treasures.

      karen

      by karen m on Wed Feb 28, 2007 at 09:08:55 PM PDT

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