Mother Talkers

I'm A Little Worried, Are You?

Wed Dec 19, 2007 at 02:28:40 PM PDT

I’ve got to tell you, I’m worried.  And here’s why.

It seems we’re dangling by an inconceivably thin thread.  I’m concerned that the whole darn ball of wax, house of cards, thin ice we skate upon, you name it, just may come undone in some final cosmic way.

A few examples.  Drum roll please.

Not too long ago, my dear husband and I purchased a Honda Hybrid.  We thought we’d do our part even knowing that it will take years to personally recoup the difference between the initial outlay of funds as compared to the economic savings on gas, but still.  There is the environment to think of after all.

So, we purchase the car.  It’s swell.  Really.  It has plenty of pep and lord knows we hardly ever stop at a gas station anymore.  But here’s the deal.  We attempt to order the Hybrid stickers that will allow us to travel in the carpool lanes and are told by the dear DMV that the car doesn’t exist, and it hasn’t got license plates even though as I talk to them on my portable phone, I am standing in front of the car looking squarely at it and its license plates which we had already rec’d from the DMV weeks earlier.

Numerous phone calls, many hours and letters later, the DMV finally acquiesces that yes indeed it was their system that had not been updated and our car did exist along with the plates that they originally had sent us.  Finally, weeks go by and we receive our blessed stickers – hallelujah.

Yesterday I receive a shipment from a local store through a delivery service.  The timeframe for delivery is a wonderful window of 4 hours.  You know the drill.  I ask oh so politely, could they please call from the delivery previous to mine to give me an update on when they might arrive.  Yes, they say, they will do that.   As I sat at home yesterday, I received no call.  They arrive 20 minutes after the 4 hour mark.  Last night, I received a call that the delivery company would like to schedule a date when they can deliver furniture I’ve ordered.  As we talk, it is clear the caller has no idea that I already had a delivery yesterday from the company which employs him.    And because I have not yet unboxed the headboard/footboard and bed frame, I’m not entirely certain the caller isn’t correct, but I’m thinking it couldn’t be true, that there actually is more to deliver.  How many boxes can a bed frame be in?   It doesn’t seem to make sense what he is saying to me.    Out to the garage I trudge, phone in hand.

After much discussion and a review of all the SKU numbers (of which there were about 8) on each of the boxes delivered today, the person in Ohio (I’m in the CA area) realizes that he is trying to schedule delivery for a box that is already in my possession.  It is the last SKU number some 25 digits long that triggers the computer data in his system.    He says with no trace of irony "well, I guess that’s it then.  No problem."   No moment where he might have said – sheesh thanks for figuring this out for me, or, sorry to have bothered you and glad we didn’t schedule a delivery for another 4 hour window that we wouldn’t make and that wouldn’t have produced one thing, nope, he just says "I guess that does it, then.  Click...."

YIKES.

One last example, please bear with me.  I had a total knee replacement recently.  I discovered while perusing my mountain of bills (which totaled  $100,000) that I was being overcharged  $11,000 for various services  in multiple ways.  When talking with all the "vendors" and the insurance company it was apparent that NO ONE really had a clue about the whole picture, or the little details, it seemed to me that I was actually not only getting a knee replaced but apparently was also getting screwed – and not for free.  Thankfully, I was able to help them sort out the overcharges and saved our family a whopping $11,000.  I’m feeling lots better at least about that.  Remember Elisa's post?  There were many times I felt as if this is one way the insurance companies make their profits.

And frankly, I’m telling you I am really worried.  And I think you should be too.  Who is minding the store?  Is anyone else worried out there?    I sure am.    What say you, oh wise and experienced MTers?  Are we doomed?

Tags: crazy mixed up world, lions, tigers, and mixed up purchases, oh my (all tags)

Permalink | 56 comments

  • Crazy (0 / 0)

    Those are some crazy stories!

    I agree, life seems overwhelming at times. Even the smallest chores end up being crazy.  I have all of these things in my planner every week that I just put off until next week, because I just know what they are going to entail.

  • I can't believe we are (0 / 0)

    Hi, Karen. What a couple of frustrating stories of bureaucratic ineptitude. I wouldn't be nearly as calm as you are if I was dealing with it!

    I can't believe we really are spinning out of control - could be that I'm living in total denial, but I have to believe we're still getting on with things.

    So big hugs and I hope you've got some "down time" scheduled in soon. XO

  • Ok, this is spooky (0 / 0)

    Literally, as I was reading your diary I was on hold with our health insurance company.  DH was at the dentist today, first time since our new insurance started 2 months ago.  The dentist office had called Aetna to verify coverage and they told him "you are not covered for medical or dental at all and haven't been since 1999."  Huh?

    He calls me, I call Aetna.  They said, yes, you are all covered.  She talked to the billing dep't.  Yes, you're all paid up on your premiums.  I ask her "then why would they tell the dentist he's not covered?"

    "I really couldn't say ma'am.  I can't explain that at all."

    You're right, what is going on with the world?

    • It makes you wonder, doesn't it? (0 / 0)

      Remember all the fuss about Y2K?  And how the whole web was going to implode and the banking world was going to come to a screeching halt?  Sometimes it feels like that is happening except in slow motion.

    • a Zero (0 / 0)

      I spent 20 minutes on the phone two days ago with an insurer trying to figure out why a client was told that her child's diagnosis code had "expired".  It took many questions (and a surprisingly cooperative insurance rep) to finally find out in 2003 they added a zero to this code.  Instead of 299.8, the code for "Pervasive Developmental Disorder" is 299.80.   UGH - her time, my time, all that worry....about a zero!

      • it's mindnumbing. (0 / 0)

        the amount of time that is wasted trying make sense out of craziness.  there seem to be endless examples and even more daily - if that's possible.  how frustrating for someone to hear that their child's diagnosis code had "expired."  sheesh.  As if they don't have enough of their plates.

  • sometimes i think yes (0 / 0)

    I stood in line at the postoffice today for 40 minutes -- less than a week before christmas -- they know this, right? yet, only 1 person at the front counter....I waited 40 minutes to mail 1 package....the line wasn't that long but it got longer....

    • you know (0 / 0)

      I try to get zen about lines now. If they happen, they're gonna happen and no sense wasting time being frazzled. I start chatting to people. Thus far, no one's gone postal at me!

    • This is one of the best things about the sticks (0 / 0)

      We have our own local post office, and while it is closed for lunch, and it's not open on weekends (no post offices are open on weekends in the whole county), by "busy" they mean that there are two customers in the post office. Oh, and she gave DD a candy cane.

      Hardly any lines at the DMV either.

      Uh oh, just gave away all my secrets. Yes, if you live in the Bay Area it might well be faster to drive up here rather than stand in line there. :-) :-) :-) :-)

  • If (0 / 0)

    If "the business of the United States is business" as I believe Henry Ford said (I am sure there is an MT who knows who said that :), then indeed I believe we are screwed.

    I had a really similar discussion - actually I should admit we bitch about this all the time, story after story - with a friend of mine recently. We can't figure out if we never realized what a giant convoluted headache it is to get the simplest thing done, or if something has changed. I think something has changed.

    Why does everything need to be such a battle?

    RachelD

    • Prez Coolidge, actually (0 / 0)

      a sad irony in life.

    • Computers (0 / 0)

      I think part of the problem is the computers.

      Like when actual people do something, it's not so bad.  But actions that are tied up in computer systems, that can't necessarily be overrided by the person answering the phone. Bad.

      One company I worked for had one woman doing payroll.  Had a problem?  Go talk to her in person at her desk, it would be fixed.

      Another company was super big and had an offsite service center that they outsourced payroll to.  Total nightmare.

  • i got an email today (0 / 0)

    from Leap Frog....the email was actually dated December 4th.  It stated that they had shipped my order and it would be arriving shortly.

    Of course, it arrived on the 5th. I know i received it.  But i ordered it on the 22nd of November, called on the 30th of November when i had not received even so much as an email that it had been shipped.  Apparently while they don't display this anywhere on their site, they give themselves 10 business days to ship.  

    So after waiting on hold on the 30th, i finally find out that i can't or shouldn't call back until the 6th, the day in their calendar by which it should have shipped. (Oh and their online tracking was down and they had no idea how long before it would be up again.)

    Needless to say I hooted today when i got the email...15 days after it was sent...and 13 days after i had received my games.

    • Oy the Joy. (0 / 0)

      My diary probably sounds a bit more negative than I really feel, but honestly I just sometimes crack up at what goes wrong and in how many ways.

      I am so very grateful I am not currently carting around little children as I get shuffled through the myriad mazes of our convoluted lives.

      I know one thing for sure, I will give wide berth, my place in line, a hand up, an open door, a free ride, etc...to mothers with children in tow.  The world doesn't cut anyone much slack and I can't wait to be helpful to the next Mom I see since Moms in general are looking after so many others than just themselves.

  • We're having fun with our telephone (0 / 0)

    When we moved into this house shortly over a year ago, we got a new phone number and DSL hook up.  Over three months we struggled on a daily basis with problems with the DSL.  The company repair guy gave us his home number and told me to bypass calling customer service and just call him DIRECTLY.  He finally figured it out, but after that experience, I was just holding my breath to hope it would keep working.

    And it did keep working.  However, our phone number is apparently the number that a communications/cable company used to have.  It must have been turned over too quickly.  But because the DSL was finally working and I didn't trust that changing the phone number would thow the whole delicate balance back into a tailspin, we decided to just keep the phone number.  

    We get calls every day for the communications company, though thankfully usually at times when we are not home.  Our voice mail announces that we are NOT a cable company.  We have called the title companies that are distributing our home number to new residents, but they still give our number out ("we printed out a lot of those contact sheets!")

    I tried to call the company to a) let them know, and b) find a number that I could redirect people to.  The first two numbers I called were disconnected.  The third number was a recorded message saying their number had changed to XXX-XXXX.  So I call XXX-XXXX and I get the SAME recording that says their number has been changed to the number that I just called (then it hangs up).  This is a COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY!

    But I must say, almost everyone who calls looking for the communications company and gets me instead has been wonderfully understanding.  I've even ended up in some very delightful conversations with these strangers!  At this point, I am morbidly curious to see for how long this will go on.

     

    • I'm laughing out loud and (0 / 0)

      it's EARLY in the morning --- so thanks for that.

      YOu reminded me of an experience I had with our Direct TV installation.  I couldn't begin to guess at the numbers of hours/calls we made but ultimately rec'd service only to find out that when we upgraded to HD, they neglected to put in the required switch that would have enabled our receivers to actually receive the correct signal.  So many hours and phone calls later, a tech comes out and spends -- i kid you not --- 5 hours at our house re-working all sorts of things in our system including installing the correct switch.  He, an independent contractor, mentioned that he would not even get paid for a portion of his time, but couldn't bear to leave our system screwed up so did extra work on our behalf!  He was really a kind and ethical guy which, like your conversations with strangers, was the curious positive outcome of my experience.   I ended up giving him a big fat tip I felt so indebted to him and sorry that if I had not, he would have been basically working most of that time for no pay.  Sigh.

  • I've been in that hell (0 / 0)

    but today I have a good story.
    We used our scanner to deposit a check.  DH started the transaction, but I did the actual scanning.  Either he typed wrong, or there was a glitch, because the $500 check went in as $5,000.  My mother-in-law, who wrote said check, would not have been please with that.  This all happened after business hrs, and before the bank opened in the morning, the deposit showed up on our account.  OMG!  Aaaah!  But I called the bank and they assured me that the money drawn out is based on the actual printed check, not the silly digital input.  Hooray for sanity.  Now we mush wait with bated breath to watch the numbers change back tonight...

  • Complexity + Bureaucracy = Insanity (0 / 0)

    I work in Special Education, navigating the horrific intersection between regulations, people, paperwork, and databases. There are both horror stories and lawsuits.

    The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.

    Mother wannabe, ETA Spring 09 if biology allows.

    by faedrake on Thu Dec 20, 2007 at 09:26:26 AM PDT

  • Hot water heater hell (0 / 0)

    We're in an apt right now.

    Maintenance guy installs a "shut off valve" on Monday to stop the tank from flooding if it leaks.  Hot water disappears Monday night.

    Comes, flips a switch.  Works now.  He says, "I can get you a new tank."  I said, "Is it fixed?"  He says, "Yep."  I say, "Ok, then that's fine if it's fixed, we don't need a new one."

    Maintenance guy, "Ok."

    Hot water heater breaks again last night.  Guy comes, switch won't flip this time.  Says, "You're gonna need a new one."  I said, "I thought it was fixed?".  He says, "Well, YOU said you didn't want a new one?"  I said, "You told me it was fixed!"  

    On and on....

    Then I say I don't want the shut-off valve installed on the new one while we are here, for a few more weeks, since it's screwed up everything.  He says, "I have to put that on, it's the law."  I say, "It wasn't on there when I got here.  So you rented us an apartment that violated the law?"

    I just wish people would take responsibility (like, we should have replaced this Monday, it was not fixed) instead of trying to place blame.

    On and on....

    • so bloody true. (0 / 0)

      Could someone just say:  "I am so sorry....I or my company made a flipping mistake, I will try to make it right and do the best job I can do for you..." Puhleeeeeze.  That kind of comment brings me right to my knees...that's all it takes for me to go from being a bit pissed to saying --- THANK YOU SO MUCH, whatever you can do is great.

      oy .  double sigh.

      • Last week (0 / 0)

        my MIL wired some money to our business account - this is a regular occurrence.  She went to her banker and gave her the amount.  And she gave her another amount she wanted wire to another account.  

        The next day i went to check on the wire, and there is was.  Right after it was a $9200 wire out of my account, authorized by that same banker. (Same bank)

        So i called the bank to say "hey WTF (but nicely)".  The customer service agent seemed kinda concerned but was very hesitant to give me the name of the person who authorized the wire.  Eventually i found out it was MIL's banker (in another state).  The CS agent told me it would be 2-3 days before they could get the money back....2-3 days?!?!

        So FIL called the local branch and they had it back in 15 minutes.  But I have yet to hear from their banker apologizing to us for taking money without permission from our account.

        • Banks can really suck (0 / 0)

          Not long after we were married, DH wrote me a check from his account to deposit in my account to cover some bills.  The bank deposited said check BACK into his account, not mine.  Needless to say, this was not discovered until the checks bounced.

          The bank not only refused to fix their error, they made DH write a new check to me, then chastized us for not having a joint account or having each other added to our individual accounts.  "If you're married, why doesn't your husband have you as a signatory on his account?"

          Needless to say, when my SS card arrived the next week and we went to combine finances, we did not do it at this bank.

  • I am Worried (0 / 0)

    I am afraid that no one knows how to do anything anymore.  I'm afraid that the baby boomer generation was not encouraged to be exceedingly competent, and that they in turn did not bequeath to us a tradition of high achievement and competency, and that it's going to get worse until our country reaches a sort of rock bottom and everyone just has to deal and grow up.  I've seen this happen in my own life, and my kids have to cope with a lot more than my parents ever asked of me.  My wishes for them?  Of course, that they will be happy, but number 2 that they will grow up knowing how to do things, solve problems, and find their way out of a paper bag.

    My experiences in the work force have always made me feel like I just fell down the rabbit hole.  Who are all these people?  What are they doing?  How can they spend every day trying to do as little as possible?  I'm not even sure I know how to do that.

    Do you ever watch the Amazing Race?  Have you noticed how, in the last few years, wherever they go in the world whether it's former Eastern block nations or little African countries, no matter how many people take separate flights, the planes always seem to land on time.  What would happen if they filmed the show here?  They'd spend hours just trying to get through security, and then there would be all the delays.

    It's not just you.  Our bridges are falling down, power in midwestern states that get bad weather every winter now goes out for weeks at a time due to Winter storms, we can't replace highways we know will fall down in the next big earthquake, we're losing 50 year old ferry lines because we can't make the boats anymore.  And we're ok with all of this, or at least it seems this way.  No one is sounding the alarm.  Our country is in decline, and it will remain this way unless something drastic changes soon.

    http://www.tacomamama.com

    by jenyum on Thu Dec 20, 2007 at 09:46:05 AM PDT

  • I dunno (0 / 0)

    I feel like I'm much more competent than my parents were - at least, at being a parent anyway.

    I think that stuff like this has always happened. We just higher expectations now because so often we can get instantaneous results when we want them. I ordered loads of presents online, as did most of my relatives, and everything has arrived hassle-free. To my mind it's a miracle how well everything works most of the time.

    Of course, I have to tell myself this as I brace for airline travel with two small children on the 26th of December. I may be singing a very different tune when I post in the middle of next week :)

    • Well, I think you're both right. (0 / 0)

      We swing between being horribly inefficient to getting things done that people couldn't have dreamt of even just a few decades ago.

      BUT, sometimes the inefficiencies of the day just boil over and make such a mess, it's hard to remember that there are infinite ways that are happening every second where things are going right.

      Part of the problem may be that we are bombarded with so much information and so many choices that our human brains are crashing quite like how our computers do from time to time.  Rebooting necessary and required: Locale:  Hawaiian Islands, please.  Doesn't that sound divine?

  • If only I could determine... (0 / 0)

    the percentage of my life on the phone with the insurance company! I was on the phone recently with both -- surprise, surprise! -- the bill collector and insurance company again. What were we fighting about this time? Oh, the $1,000 anethesiology bill that was supposed to be taken care of 8 months ago! Gah!!!

    Turns out BCBS is saying they paid it in full, and neither the anesthesiologist nor I have received about $225 of it. Based on what I know of the doctor's billing practices, I refuse to pay up. Let them spend that amount to come after me for all I care. :-)

    Seriously Karen, I hear you! It seems like goods and services in this country cost more, yet the customer service SUCKS. Whenever my husband asks me for the "little favor" of figuring out some bill, I want to scream.

    • had a similar (0 / 0)

      situation....Anethesiologist billed us.  Insurance company paid the bill, I received the EOB showing it was paid.  8 months later received another bill.  I pulled out EOB showing paid, called dr office and explained.  They said no.  I called insurance company.  Yes, they paid, check number, etc.

      Called dr office again, said it was billed and paid, gave check number etc.  One year later, my credit card company bumped my 4% credit card to 26%.  Yikes.  I called credit card co.  Apparently they pulled my credit report (and everyones' according to them) and if something shows up they immediately bump interest rate to highest allowed.  I paid it off immediately of course and cut up that card.... beware Citibank FYI.

      So it turns out, the dr office gave the double billing to a collection agency which could/would not prove that it was a legitimate bill and won't speak to me anymore.  So 6 years after her birth I show a collection on my credit that i refuse to pay since it is not my debt.  Apparently the double bill/collection route is very very common and lucrative.

    • Yup. (0 / 0)

      Our new thing?  Hospital admission wasn't pre-certified (was pre-authorized but not precertified) so BCBS has charged us $500.  The kicker?  The pre-certification number isn't on the insurance card!!!  So, we're in trouble for thehospital not calling a number no one has ever seen!

    • BCBS (0 / 0)

      Yeah, BCBS.  Bleh.  My ob/gyn has submitted her bill for my miscarriage FOUR times, and yet they still haven't processed it.  Keep claiming that they haven't received the claim.  I've received three bills from the dr, which like you, Elisa, I refuse to pay.  I am quite convinced that they will not process it until Jan 2, at which point the amount I will have to pay cannot be applied to my deductible for 2007, and I will start all over again.  I know this in my soul.  Gah.

    • yes! speaking of customer service (0 / 0)

      let's just take a moment to ponder the goods that we are being charged money to purchase.  Have you noticed that the items are getting smaller, but either cost the same or more?

      Take popsicles for instance...or chewing gum, or candy bars -- or frozen pizza....or almost anything packaged that's edible.  

      Do the companies think the consumer doesn't notice?  Sheesh, any day now a full sized pizza will be one bite, and a piece of chewing gum will have turned into a chicklet.

      (Although I will have to admit that there is the opposite happening too, in the super-size me American ways with 64 ounces drinks and such --- LOL)

  • warm the cockles of your heart with this one.. (0 / 0)

    here's a story that might give y'all hope.  i bought a xmas tree in early december, 9 footer.  we spent the day lighting and decorating it. it turned out beautiful if i do say so myself.  loaded with ornaments collected for last 30 years and colored lights. i was enjoying the tree late at night by myself when i noticed a large puddle.  DAMN, the bowl was leaking! the next day i was off on a business trip and the leakage was about to ruin my brand new refinished wood floors.

    we bought the tree from Delancey St in Oakland, we live in Orinda.  we love Delancey Street as good cause and the folks who run and work the tree lot are all in rehab and work their butts off.  this year we purchased a $25 tree stand from them as well.

    in desperation i called the main office for Delancey Street next morning at 8am.  i explained my problem, he gave me number of the lot in oakland.  i called them.  they had 5 big guys at my front door within an hour and half.  they came in with a brand new tree stand, lifted my tree(decorated and lit) out of the old bowl and put the tree into new bowl. not a single ornament broke.

    the Delancy St. guys are not allowed to take tips.  i gave them each a huge hug and a big merry christmas kiss on the cheek. i then packed my bags and was off on an airplane.

    we repay Delancy St in as many ways as we can, always buy our trees from them, use their moving services and eat at their restaurant too.  they have our life long commitment to do business with them.  

    service and customer consideration...hopefully it will wend its way back in our modern world.

  • We're not buying a tree this year (0 / 0)

    but are planning on getting a wreath.  I'llbe heading there.

  • For some reason (0 / 0)

    you made me think of the old..."expression"?  At least Mussolini made the trains run on time?  (Which I hear isn't true).  Are they making our lives hell so we'll be even more docile about accepting a totalitarian regime?

  • Arrrrrgh (0 / 0)

    My turn, I guess...

    I went over to my mother's house to wrap presents today.  She got Madeline a Bitty Baby crib from American Girl.  In order to save paper, we figured we'd put it together and put a ribbon on it...all ready to go, ya know?  

    So, I get all the parts out and the instructions and the effing screws are missing.  Mom calls American Girl, and they aren't much help at all.  We say... just tell us the screw size so that we can go to a hardware store and get our own effing screws so that it's put together for Xmas.  We are told that they don't know the screw size.  They offer my mother NOTHING.  Not a gift card, not anything.  

    She's transferred around and they take down her information so that they "can see what they might be able to do"... whatever that means.  That's right... 3 days to Xmas and we need to figure out what size screw this doll's crib needs.  Like I need another task right now... Arrrrrrgh!

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."

    by 1plain1peanut on Sat Dec 22, 2007 at 01:26:13 PM PDT

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